a wee bit of advice needed

[daisyboo1980]

hi
i have a afterschooler for 1 hour in the afternoon and last week he asked for an apple only after another mindee asked for one , he played with and rubbed it and pawed it but didnt eat it i found it in the toy kitchen . i explained he doesnt waste food and if he didnt want it he shouldnt have asked for it and that tomorrow no popcorn.
i felt alittle bad and the next day was letting have the popcorn when he said my mum says u are so mean abt it, i explained again why i had said it.
i have a had a problem of all mindees asking for food and taking a bite and leaving it so i explained that they will just have a small piece of fruit if still hungry. yesterday he wanted his smoothie from his bag and i said yes but my oldest mindee want a pancake N had ate 4 piece of fruit so i said yes, he then put smoothie back and asked for 1 i said no u can have fruit he had none that day and was explaining why he couldnt when he said i was so mean and it wasnt fair. when his parent arrived he ran from my house leaving door open and his parent asked what was wrong i in middle of changing napy and said it was probably because it was fruit for snack. they sat out side for ten mins and im worried incase they say something to me , the parent makes me feel like im 12 at the best of times.
should i have done it differently i really would like them all to eat fruit before they have something like that and it wasnt just me saying no to him i said no to others
sorry for a long post its silly really but i dont like unsetting people and wonder if it was me in the wrong

[sarah707]

There's a bit of a... if he's having it then I want it too whether I like it or not... mentality in this house depending on the children.

it's even catching when one wants the toilet some days :rolleyes:

I'd say you do a snack menu ... 2 healthy choices a day... making sure they all have a least one thing they like.

Plus cut up fruit into little slices, segment oranges, cut toast into quarters, bagels into halves etc.

That way everyone gets a little bit and there isn't too much waste.

Explain to parents that you are trying a new system and ask them to back you up at home with what they say...

No more 'she's mean' please, but an understanding that we have to supply healthy food and waste is not good blah blah.

hth :D

[youarewhatyoueat]

Adding to sarah's advice I would have snack time sat up to the table with the choices in front of them, so they all eat at the same time and then playtime is afterwards.

[uf353432]

yes I was going to suggest cutting up fruit for all and letting them all take peices from the plate once they finish the peice they have taken.

I'd also phone or try and catch up with mum to discuss the past couple of days and give her your full version - rather than your abridged version - coupled with her childs dramatic version of events - it might make her start to think the events are worse than they are.

I would also point out that child said that mum said she was mean - maybe point out that he uses that in your home now and its not helpful.

Try to be constructive, explain why the things are the way they are and get her onside. A parent who fully supports you makes the job easier to do in the long run.

[janminder]

I take fruit to the school every day and my mindees have to have one piece or they dont get crisps on a monday, I take crisps because it is our library day and we dont get home till very late, the rest of the week they either have drink and two biscuits when we get in if they have had their fruit or a cake from the shop if we are waiting to pick someone up from after school club. I am lucky at the moment as most of them want more than one piece on the way home.

I think it is good to get them to eat fruit and then a treat and you are not in the wrong.

[daisyboo1980]

thank u all for the advice i will give it ago as he only arrives at 4.30 i dont like giving much as its near his tea plus im usually cooking tea at this time for the younger ones but i will try it
i think ur right sarah abt case of wanting it because someone else has it we will see wat is said later but i will have a word with mum as he had attiude when i told him off standing on the sofa
fingers cross it will be sorted soon thank u again

[Alibali]

My snacks are mostly fruit too, however I did have one after schoolie who refused to eat fruit of any sort. On those days I did toast or cheese and crackers or bread sticks. The others got their fruit as well.

[gegele]

i did pain perdu (eggy bread with sugar) LOVE IT. doesn't help your threaed sorry but mine eats very well and love fruits so i have no problem.:blush:

[daisyboo1980]

his mum wants me to make him something different i said no as if i did that i would have to make 6 different things half term is going to be fun im starting to dread it

[Lainey Lou]

did pain perdu (eggy bread with sugar) LOVE IT. doesn't help your threaed sorry but mine eats very well and love fruits so i have no problem.
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Yummy, I make eggy bread but never had it with sugar, sounds yummy. So how so you make it, do you mix the sugar with the egg and then dip in the bread? xx

[Lainey Lou]

Sorry daisy boo, I went abit off track on your thread, got abit carried about thinking about eggy bread and sugar! :) XX

[little daisies]

if my minees don`t eat thier fruit they get nothing else, i hate waste a well.

[carol cameron]

Your other alternative is to suggest to mum that she supplies his after school snack as he doesn't like what you are offering...It seems fair to me that your rules apply in your house.

[Goatgirl]

Hi Daisyboo :)
I have a 'fruit first' policy with snacks too: its good that they know the rules, why the rules are there - healthy eating, its your job to help them stay healthy etc .... no waste takes a while longer to filter through in my experience, lol.
I personally don't do punishments though ( no popcorn)- and carrying over to the next day I think would just make me feel bad and the child hard done by, so that a 'battleground' would be the result.
Also ( I know its hard) if you make sure you don't show you're annoyed or upset at his comments. Just say 'we don't say things like that, its not kind' and change the subject, distracting attention. I tend to look desperately around ( but smiling on the outside!) for something to praise, even if its just soething like @I can see you're finding it hard to eat that apple because you really want some toast, but you're trying really hard anyway- well done1 when you've finished we can all have...... and write how well behaved and healthy you're being on your achievement chart'.... er... and so on.

hope you're feeling better about it all now and have a clear way to deal with it ready. I'm always happy when I've made a plan :)

best wishes,
Wendy

[daisyboo1980]

thank all for the replys wat gets me is they dont pay for snack as only here and hour and everyday he asks for something today it was just fruit as i couldnt get to the shops as the another lo was of colour today everyone else was grand abt it plus he was picking on the younger ones wasnt happy when i asked him not to he is an olny child. its going to sound terrible but i dont click with him and its not easy like my other lo's i feel on tender hooks in my own home if its no better in a month i will have to give notice