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LisaMcNally09
06-10-2009, 12:15 PM
Where does everyone stand on eating??

What do you do if a child refuses to eat anything? With my children I go by the way of thinknig that if they dont eat any of their dinner they dont get a yoghurt or biscuit afterwards. But im not sure how this stand for mindees?? Do i do the same for them or if they are refusing to eat everyday is it better they eat something rather than nothing??

I have mindee E who is 2.5. At home all he eats is those smiley face things because mum says he doesnt like anything else. She says sometimes she has to give him biscuits because thats all he will eat. Obviously I am not happy with this at all. Ive tried to get him to eat all sorts....tried a reward chart...involving him with cooking but nothing works!!!

I have approached mum about sending him with a packed lunch but she says all she could put in it is biscuits because he wont eat bread!!!:eek:

I really need help!!!! I dont know what to do???????

Helen79
06-10-2009, 12:29 PM
Mindees have the same rule as my own children, if they don't eat lunch (or have a good go at it) then there's no pudding.

I always offer snacks mid morning & afternoon so know they're not going to starve if they don't eat much lunch.

Will he eat crackers instead of bread?

I've found that all my mindee's who are very fussy eaters at home have become really good eaters here (but are still fussy at home) as they watch the other children eating the same foods & I don't offer the same puddings/biscuits than the parents do if they don't eat.

Helen79
06-10-2009, 12:32 PM
Sorry forgot to add that if my mindees refuse to eat, I leave the room or do the washing up so they're not getting any attention from not eating.
I have a mirror in the hall so can watch them & know they are safe incase of choking & within minutes they've usually started to nibble. I then go back in & make a huge fuss that they've tried the food & they tend to carry on eating.

Bitsy Beans
06-10-2009, 12:35 PM
I try not to make too much of a fuss as mindee sits and sulks and refuses to look at me :mad:
He mum doesn't offer her an alternative at meal times but will give her a snack later on. I am going down the same route. Annoying thing is the parents told me she eats anything........well as far as I am concerned that is NOT the case. At home she eats bread bar the crusts. At mine she eats all the crusts and not the actual sandwich :eek: I asked them for a list of meals that she had at home and was given a bit of a vague list of individual foods. For example it said she'd eat cucumber - not the case with me :rolleyes:
I think she really survives on scrambled egg which is the one thing she adores.
As long as they are having snacks they won't starve. And unfortunately my mindee won't get any good eating habits from my son as he's not bothered about food half the time :rolleyes:

It's a small world
06-10-2009, 12:36 PM
Rules as per my children if they don't try at least 3 mouthfuls no pudding. At least they try . Also have morning and afternoon snack (which also applies to playgroups I got to) Snacks always consist of some form of fruit too.

As suggested try crackers instead of bread . You could always make a cracker sandwich cheese in between 2 crackers. Or get mindee to put filling in sandwich IE: HAM/CHEESE etc making lunch might encourage them to eat it..

They'll soon learn.

HTH ..Good luck

mama2three
06-10-2009, 12:52 PM
same rules as my own kids here too. no lunch , no pudding. simples. i wouldnt give them something i know they dont like though!
just had a 'trying' lunchtime with my 3 year old mindee . she loves meatballs - so when i made them last night for dinner i put some aside for todays lunch to make mini-burgers. only she doesnt like burgers. so i let her squash her own meatball , cut out her own bread circles etc told everyone we were having squashed meatballs for dinner ......still refused to eat it as it looked like burger. once the others were eating their yoghurts though she wanted one too , and ate the 'squashed meatball burger in seconds so she wouldnt miss out. ! then we were late for nursery but never mind!

harrysgirl
06-10-2009, 12:52 PM
I agree, mindees follow the same rules as my own children regarding eating ie. if they don't attempt to eat their meal then there is no pudding! that way there is no confusing message if its one rule for one and another for another.

So as not to cause too much fuss & attention trying to encourage them to eat, I do the same, serve their meal to them at the table with words of encouragement e.g. "here is your spaghetti bolognese, we are having it today because M's asked for it as it is his favourite & it is yummy. Hope you enjoy it!" & walk away and sit at the other end of the room or start having a tidy around the room so that I am still present.
They all sit round the table together and as soon as the 'fussy eater' sees the others tucking in they usually have a nibble & usually decide they are hungry and will eat something. They then get heaps of praise :clapping:
I make sure I praise the child in front of their parent on collection telling them how well they did at lunchtime trying some of the spaghetti bolognese today.

I also serve small snacks at regular intervals throughout the day to ensure it keeps the children's energy levels and appetite up, and avoid mealtimes too close to nap times as children will not eat either if they are too tired.

H x

MissTinkerbell
06-10-2009, 12:57 PM
Same here - my own children and mindees have to eat at least 1/2 of their main meal to get pudding. If its something new, they have to try at least 3 spoonfuls otherwise once again no pudding.

My before and after schooler is quite fussy and I haven't had much detail about her favourites. She doesn't seem to enjoy traditional home cooked meals but if I cook something disguised as junk (like home made chicken nuggets or pizza) she tucks in. Trouble is my own children much prefer roasts, veg, shepherds pie and stews and the like to 'junk' and I'm not prepared to sacrifice what they enjoy for the mindee - its very difficult as I don't want to send her home still hungry.

When I ask her what her favourites are at home all she says is chips, dippers, pasta and smiley faces!!!

LisaMcNally09
06-10-2009, 01:06 PM
Thanks for the replies everyone.

I think i just have to keep doing what im doing. He cant have pudding if he doesn't at least try 3 mouthfuls of the food!

He is only here 9:45-14:45 so only gets morning snack then lunch with me so he will be eating at home on a night i suppose! I hope he gets the hang of my rules though as i'd really like him to get some healthy food...even if its just with me 3 times a week!!:(

helenlc
06-10-2009, 01:06 PM
I am glad you asked this. I do the same as with my children ie a good attempt at main meal before pudding.

I am still struggling with my 2 yr old whose mum feeds her at home (as its quicker and less mess!). I have to prompt her along all the time. But she usually ends up eating hardly any.

I have also introduced a 30 minute limit for lunch or she would sit there all day.

I give snacks mid morning and mid afternoon so I know she isnt starving but I worry that I am sending her home having not eaten much.

But now I feel a better knowing everyone else does it too. I did wonder whether it was ok to do it with the mindees as well. But I dont want them thinking they can pick at their main and then get the nice pudding after.

LisaMcNally09
06-10-2009, 01:20 PM
I did wonder whether it was ok to do it with the mindees as well. But I dont want them thinking they can pick at their main and then get the nice pudding after.

Thats exactly what i didnt want!! I know thats what mum does at home...ie just give him yoghurt. I didnt want to do the same as my children aren't allowed to do that!!

singingcactus
06-10-2009, 01:23 PM
So am I the only childminder in the UK who doesn't automatically have a pudding with lunch/dinner? :laughing:
The kids here either eat their food or they don't. I don't bribe or try to compel them to eat more. I eat mine and I don't get hungry later on :).
Don't worry too much about it, just provide a nice healthy balanced diet. Leave it to his mum to sabotage his health by giving him smiley faces and biscuits every day - don't get sucked in.

The Juggler
06-10-2009, 01:23 PM
I'm really strict. Mine have to clear most of theirs and all their veg if pudding is getting a look in! In my opinion, if they are full, then they are full! Is that harsh!?

mushpea
06-10-2009, 05:29 PM
could there be a reason that all he eats is smiley faces? my son was extrememly fussy when he was little and would rather go to bed without eating than even touch some foods, turns out he is borderline on the autistic scale so this is part of it, he has sensory problems so wont eat certain textures or things that he dosent recognise, like he will eat mash potato here but wouldnt eat it at my mums as she put sweede and carrots in so it looked different.
it could just be that they are a fussy eater but could also be more too it.
to answer you orginal queston if they dont eat their meal then they dont get anything else, i have a 2yrold who comes for lunch and dinner and if she dont eat lunch then there is nothing else till dinner.
Of course it gets easier once you get to know the child and what they like then you can get a bit stricter with them. like i have a 3yrold that will eat pizza one day but not the next and the same with veg, well i know she will eat it cause shes eaten i here before so i dont let her have anything else if she doesnt eat her dinner.

cher25
06-10-2009, 06:53 PM
I'm really strict. Mine have to clear most of theirs and all their veg if pudding is getting a look in! In my opinion, if they are full, then they are full! Is that harsh!?

I try to do the same as you. But always falter when the tears start. And that is with a 5 year old. lol
I do tell them and have done it before with my 2 yr old mindee, that if they dont eat then no yoghurt. He cries about it, but not for long.

FizzysFriends
06-10-2009, 07:29 PM
So am I the only childminder in the UK who doesn't automatically have a pudding with lunch/dinner? :laughing:
The kids here either eat their food or they don't. I don't bribe or try to compel them to eat more. I eat mine and I don't get hungry later on :).
Don't worry too much about it, just provide a nice healthy balanced diet. Leave it to his mum to sabotage his health by giving him smiley faces and biscuits every day - don't get sucked in.

We don't have puddings here I have never given my own puddings so don't mindees and if they come with puddings in their lunch boxes I take them out until they have eaten everything else.