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View Full Version : my mindee...normal or not



charliegee
30-09-2009, 09:40 AM
Hello all

I'm mummy to one little one but am looking after afterschoolers at the moment too. These are my first school aged kids I've ever looked after (other than friends' kids)

One of the little girls I have is rather stroppy and short tempered - snaps if she doesn't get her own way - shouts even when I tell her not to and when we were out in the park yelled "YOUR'RE HURTING ME" when I passed her her coat as we were leaving - I hadn't even touched her! (she shouted I think as she was cross we had to leave but naturally....got me very scared when she shouted such a thing - especially as people looked.....:crying:

She also has taken to running away from me (ie ahead on the pavement).....which I'm not sure how to handle.

Next week I will have more kids in buggys starting (little ones I mean) and I simply cannot have her running off... / me running after her....

We're in the settling in period but Oh.....I just don't know...

She can also be very sweet and good when eg crossing the road etc....

does this sound like normal settling in / 5 year old behaviour?

thanks guy xxxx

Blaze
30-09-2009, 09:49 AM
Yes it is normal & you have to nip it in the bud!

You need to write an incident report re her shouting that you hurt her (to cover yourself) & have a word with Mum about her behaviour - reassure her that LO is testing her boundaries with you & give her a copy of your behaviour management policy (that way you can all be consistant with LO). I have a wrist strap on my pram...if LO's run off etc - then the rules are they have to be on the strap for the rest of the day / week...if they can follow the rules nicely then no wrist strap - works wonders!:thumbsup:

You need to be consistant with LO yourself & explain to her that it's not nice to shout etc - maybe a reward chard for using her quiet voice/ good behaviour would be of use.

HTH:)

jaja
30-09-2009, 09:56 AM
can be just because she is settling in???? talk to mum and explain and then threatern reins or wrist strap!!!! i would take it with you and be prepared to use it too.... you are the boss and she needs to fit into your business and she has to get used to your rules and your boundaries.....


I am having the same problem at the mo, new little one started on monday am, took her to playschool she stopped walking and refused to hold my hand, so i stopped and refused to move anyone until she had hold of my hand as it was unsafe, the other kids stood and watched and within 3 mins she had my hand and was walking.... she came with no manners, which is my pet hate, however now she is saying please and thnkyou because i wont give her what she wants and demands uless i get a please and thankyou.... Another example is referring to my kids as she or him, so i correct her before answering her question. She is going through mum returning to full time work, going to full time school and a complete stranger taking her and collecting her from school, sometimes it is easier to get riled and upset by a mindee but then when you look at what they are going through and most dont really understand why mummyis going to work, or why they are being cared for by a stanger,it makes their behaviour understandable..... but not easy until they are setteld.


Good luck, give her time, boundaries and rules and talk to mum..........

sending hugs
xx

charliegee
30-09-2009, 10:07 AM
thanks very much guys

I've just been getting a bit sad about it as I'm terrified of being sued for child saying something like "you hurt me" and got me worried she has potential to lie...I know all kids can tell lies but it did really scare me.

Mum is a single parent and really really nice but naturally I want everything covered and build a good relationship.

This little one is making me nervous is all.

It's really good to hear that you guys (like my other half!) think she is testing boundaries and settling in.

Gosh...hadn't thought to write the whole bit about her saying you hurt me in my accident book...will do that when mum comes today.

have you had things like that happen??

x

Helen79
30-09-2009, 10:38 AM
It sounds like normal 5year old behaviour. Be firm & consistent & hopefully she'll settle with you.

dd has just started school, the first few weeks she was fine, but this week her behaviour has been appalling :panic: i think she's over tired & the whole change of routine & being overwhelmed with starting school has finally kicked in for her.

If you think like a 5 year old, all these changes must be hard for them so I'm trying to be understanding whilst at the same time being firm & setting the boundaries.
Try not to take it personally, sounds like you're doing a good job with her.

Zoomie
30-09-2009, 11:00 AM
I've just been getting a bit sad about it as I'm terrified of being sued for child saying something like "you hurt me" and got me worried she has potential to lie...I know all kids can tell lies but it did really scare me.


x

I have to admit my DS does this. He is 8. I know he does it for attention, and apart from giving him personal attention (but obviously not enough) he still does it. He does it to us, as well as other children. :( Wish I knew how to sort it.

mum2two
30-09-2009, 12:15 PM
I use the wrist strap 'threat' too!! It works wonders with the older ones, as they really don't want to wear it! I have had to follow through and put one 5 yr old on it, and believe me it works - they soon listen to you!! :p

They don't want their friends seeing them with it on, and then it also makes the others realise, and listen to what we are saying!

xx

helenlc
30-09-2009, 12:23 PM
I use the wrist strap one too!!

I agree with the others - being consistent is the key. Dont give in once to keep her happy as it will happen over and over again. Only she will push harder to get you to break!!

Explain to Mum that she is just testing your boundaries and getting used to you and your rules. Tell her that you will keep her informed of any "incidents" and that you will record them and ask her to sign against them.