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aly
29-09-2009, 09:15 PM
Have you heard of them?

Sh*g bands?

I didn't think of it at first but now thinking more I can understand why the schools have now band them.

The kids are starting to call them sh*gbands but I'm not sure if they have another name.....1 mindee [9] had one last week and he started explaining what it was and I interrupted him and told him I didnt want discussions about that or similar in the house, 1) because I don't want my kids picking that up 2) I think it's very inappropriate.

If you have had dealings with these bands what did you do.....what will you do if you do come across them via mindees?

Should I send letters home?? the day the mindee had it his mum picked up and she did have a go at him.

thought please

thanks

just found this link on bbc site
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_8270000/newsid_8279200/8279228.stm

mammumof4
29-09-2009, 09:28 PM
i havent come across them as yet but thanks for the warning! always something isnt there! :eek:

Hebs
29-09-2009, 09:29 PM
my kids wear them :laughing:

they understand the meaning behind them (and what each colour means) but to them its just the latest fashion accessory :thumbsup:

oh and they've always been called sh*gbands, they were out when i was at school :laughing:

Bitsy Beans
29-09-2009, 09:34 PM
How many lads and lasses will be embellishing who has done what just by buying a particular colour ;)

OK I don't have kids that old but it wouldn't worry me (although I wouldn't be happy about the term being used in the house!).

hello kitty
29-09-2009, 09:54 PM
I only realised what they were after reading an article in the newspaper.

When I asked my 16 yr old dd if she knew what they were called she sheepishly told me about them. :eek:

Isn't it sad that these harmless bangles have been given such a vile reputation. Our local school banned them before the article came out. The youngsters here just want to wear their fav colours and do not understand the relevance associated with them. (My mindees are under 10)

jelly15
29-09-2009, 10:05 PM
Schools have band them and so will I. I think they are awful wouldn't want other kids thinking mine had done what the bands represent. It's a pity they didn't symbolise positive achivements that the kids could be proud of, like Cub Scout or Girl Guide badges. But then some kids would think they weren't cool then.:(

youarewhatyoueat
29-09-2009, 10:34 PM
New one on me, mine sometimes wear a friendship bracelet and thats it.

little daisies
30-09-2009, 05:20 AM
my 12 yr old has 4 that his girlfriend has given him, he told me last night what they are called and asked for some more, i wasn`t impressed with the name and didn`t no the colours have meanings untill i read it on here. can anyone tell me what they do mean as my son just like wearing them and apparantly doesn`t know himself:rolleyes:

Hebs
30-09-2009, 05:46 AM
If someone snaps a band you "in theory" have to to whatever that colour band represents

I can't post on here but if you google it you'll find your answer x

EllaBella
30-09-2009, 06:29 AM
thses are aimed at kids and they and the meaning behind them is disusting, they are just kids!!!!!:mad:

they are banned in my house,

when i first head of the i thought they were aimed at adults, so wasnt bothered by them (how naieve of me:eek: )

there are several different coulours and they each represent a different sexual act, and if you are wearing that colour, its said that you will do that act. now maybe these 8 9 year olds dont know what they mean, but older kids do and its wrong. the light blue one was worn by my next door neighbours kid, andthey were ARGUING over who would do it best, its sick, they are just kids.

peanuts
30-09-2009, 06:31 AM
the colours and meanings were in the papers at the weekend.

first i had heard of it. my dd 11 loves the flouresent colours at the moment so got bangles from primark. Think i will will hide/remove them.

mrsbumbles
30-09-2009, 06:48 AM
I am shocked :eek:

I didnt know each colour had a meaning

My 10 yr old wears a pink and black one and has no idea to their meaning

I have just googled them and found out their meaning, now i think i am going to throw them away while she is at school this morning.

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 06:54 AM
My son came home wearing some - when I asked what they were, where he got them from etc he told me. Middle son doesn;t actually understand the 'meaning' behind them though. Eldest tells me that it only means somethig if someone 'snaps' it on you.

However, I have asked both kids NOT to wear them, as I believe it sends out wrong signals - possibly to the wrong people and who knows where it could lead. As well as having totally inappropriate connotations - they are children:(

The (primary) school hasn't banned them - yet, believing that if they make an issue out of it, it will make them even more desirable.

Hebs
30-09-2009, 07:11 AM
My son says don't bin them he'll have them lol

nell57
30-09-2009, 07:17 AM
I've not heard of these at all. What a sheltered life i lead:D

FussyElmo
30-09-2009, 07:28 AM
I've not heard of these at all. What a sheltered life i lead:D

Me neither Helen!!!

mama2three
30-09-2009, 07:51 AM
omg my 14 year old has an arm full! I had no idea. bet he does though!

LOOPYLISA
30-09-2009, 08:24 AM
My dd isnt allowed to wear them either :thumbsup:

mandy moo
30-09-2009, 09:31 AM
I've not heard of these at all. What a sheltered life i lead:D

Nor me!!

What a disgusting name.. :mad: who ever thought that one up needs their mouth washing out with soap, Id quite happily do it..

The kids at my boys school, are not allowed to wear jewelry full stop.
Earings have to taped.

Lady Haha
30-09-2009, 09:31 AM
No, I haven't heard of these either!!! But now I'm having a debate with myself! If my son or mindees were wearing them, I would feel REALLY mean taking them away because to them, the bands are just the latest fad, like go-gos or something! Because they don't understand the meaning behind them, they can't possibly understand why you would take them away!

I just hope they don't get as far as the school I pick up from then I won't have to worry about it:(

Just thought, the go gos don't have 'secret' meaning do they? My son has over a hundred of them!!!:laughing:

Helen79
30-09-2009, 09:40 AM
they're not a new thing. we had these at school 15years ago & they were called the same thing & had the same meaning.

Totally harmless imo, no one I ever knew took them seriously, they're bl@@dy hard to snap aswell lol
We used to swap them with boys we fancied at nightclubs but never took the different colour coding seriously.

dd is 4 & wears them but obviously we don't call them sh@gbands, they're just bracelets to her.

I'm 29 & always have an armful of them on :blush:

Jellytotzjulia
30-09-2009, 09:43 AM
oh my gooooooooooooooooooood:panic:

my 9yr dd has been wearing these for the last few weeks & I have always thought they were just like little bangles!!! sure thats what she thinks too:panic: .

& as for the name I thought "whats in a name",! so never made a big thing of it!! ahh I've just thought I bought a pack for dd friend for a birthday prezzie 2 weeks ago, what must her mum think!!:blush: :blush:

& the colours have meanings,!!!! think I'd better talk to my dd when home from school.:littleangel:

Julia

Hebs
30-09-2009, 09:56 AM
they're not a new thing. we had these at school 15years ago & they were called the same thing & had the same meaning.

Totally harmless imo, no one I ever knew took them seriously, they're bl@@dy hard to snap aswell lol
We used to swap them with boys we fancied at nightclubs but never took the different colour coding seriously.

dd is 4 & wears them but obviously we don't call them sh@gbands, they're just bracelets to her.

I'm 29 & always have an armful of them on :blush:

couldn't agree more :D

come on guys seriously, if this is all you have to worry about you are soooooooo lucky :laughing:

lighten up, the more of an issue you make f them the more the kids will want them. the younger kids probably don't know about their secret meaning, even if they do use it as a chance to talk to your kids :thumbsup: cos they'll know soooooooooooo much more than you think :D

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 11:22 AM
Sorry Hebs, going to disagree with you, I DO think there is something wrong with them and I am a pretty easy going and open mum. I am not prudish or easily offended in any way.

In todays society where children are sexulised and aware at such an early age I think this is a step too far. All the t-shirts slogans, clothes available that are mini-me adult clothing (being put out for 4/5/6/ yr old girls) s bad enough without displaying these coloured bands on your wrist that send out the message to all and sundry in the know that this is what you are 'up for or have done'. Where is the self respect. Sex is not a joke, sex should between two (consenting) adults who are mature enough etc.

There are connotations to these bands and even if the younger children aren't currently aware - how long before the older kids tell them? Not what I want my 4yr old hollering his head of in the street (he can't keep a secret for love nor money - especially if he thinks it will get a gasp of horror, don't want my mindees hearing about it and I am sure their parents won't either). What if these implied meanings are interpreted in a sick way by someone who has those tendancies. Children have been bullied for less things as well (suirely we all remember the 'girl at school who had the rep').

LOOPYLISA
30-09-2009, 11:28 AM
Sorry Hebs, going to disagree with you, I DO think there is something wrong with them and I am a pretty easy going and open mum. I am not prudish or easily offended in any way.

In todays society where children are sexulised and aware at such an early age I think this is a step too far. All the t-shirts slogans, clothes available that are mini-me adult clothing (being put out for 4/5/6/ yr old girls) s bad enough without displaying these coloured bands on your wrist that send out the message to all and sundry in the know that this is what you are 'up for or have done'. Where is the self respect. Sex is not a joke, sex should between two (consenting) adults who are mature enough etc.

There are connotations to these bands and even if the younger children aren't currently aware - how long before the older kids tell them? Not what I want my 4yr old hollering his head of in the street (he can't keep a secret for love nor money - especially if he thinks it will get a gasp of horror, don't want my mindees hearing about it and I am sure their parents won't either). What if these implied meanings are interpreted in a sick way by someone who has those tendancies. Children have been bullied for less things as well (suirely we all remember the 'girl at school who had the rep').

I agree with you 100 % :thumbsup:

ajs
30-09-2009, 11:34 AM
i totally agree with you pip, i do not like the connotations and would not allow a young person to wear them for fear of them being misinterpretted

i am neither a person who is easily offended or a prude either but i think sex is for adults and if adults want to wear these to show what acts they will perform then fine but they should be kept for adults

LottieLuLu
30-09-2009, 11:42 AM
I am not ashamedof being 'prudish' or 'easily offended', I hate the sexualisation of young children and the anti-feminism inherent in all these things.

Dont forget that boys will be lauded by their peers if they get to do these things, while girls are seen as easy. It was ever thus.

I would ban these as I ban the use of 'gay' as a pejorative term in my home and my presence.

The newspapers use womens bodies as commodities, the front of the Sport is a disgrace in a decent society. How do you explain to the toddlers you take into the newsagents why you tell them they have 'private' areas of their bodies but those women don't?

I am looking for an habitable desert island as I'm sure I'll be happier there than in this crass society.

little daisies
30-09-2009, 11:54 AM
just googled them,::eek: : wait till my 12 year old gets home from school:mad:

LOOPYLISA
30-09-2009, 12:08 PM
just googled them,::eek: : wait till my 12 year old gets home from school:mad:

Exactly :thumbsup:

Why can't kids just be kids nowadays :rolleyes:

Wonder what my silver bracelet says about me :laughing: :rolleyes:

aly
30-09-2009, 12:30 PM
Sorry Hebs, going to disagree with you, I DO think there is something wrong with them and I am a pretty easy going and open mum. I am not prudish or easily offended in any way.

In todays society where children are sexulised and aware at such an early age I think this is a step too far. All the t-shirts slogans, clothes available that are mini-me adult clothing (being put out for 4/5/6/ yr old girls) s bad enough without displaying these coloured bands on your wrist that send out the message to all and sundry in the know that this is what you are 'up for or have done'. Where is the self respect. Sex is not a joke, sex should between two (consenting) adults who are mature enough etc.

There are connotations to these bands and even if the younger children aren't currently aware - how long before the older kids tell them? Not what I want my 4yr old hollering his head of in the street (he can't keep a secret for love nor money - especially if he thinks it will get a gasp of horror, don't want my mindees hearing about it and I am sure their parents won't either). What if these implied meanings are interpreted in a sick way by someone who has those tendancies. Children have been bullied for less things as well (suirely we all remember the 'girl at school who had the rep').


It seems I have seta debate lol...But I totally agree with you here pip. Kids are no longer kids and fast growing up...too fast......The reasoning for posting was because the 9yo mindee was talking baout them in front of my 4yo and I thought maybe to some they are innocentI will ban them from the house.

And whoever mentioned gogo's lol [sorry I forgot who] I don't think so ;)

Daftbat
30-09-2009, 12:32 PM
I only found out about these the other day and didn't realise the colour codes until now.

I agree with Pip - we have to remember our responsibilities as parents AND childminders. I will not be allowing them in my house and i will also not be allowing conversations about them (if i hear it). I have always been very conscious of the younger children picking up things from the older ones and the effect that can have on my customers if these things are repeated at home.

Call me prudish if you like but i don't like any of it.

mrsgreen
30-09-2009, 12:40 PM
although i think the real meaning behind these are a bit sick for young children, you'll find most younger ones wont know what they mean and see them as a fashion thing or wanting to copy others. also most the people who will think they actually mean anything are other kids! and in one way or another they get that message across to each other in many ways!
i agree with hebs in it is a good chance to talk to older ones about the meanings but i wouldnt let young children wear them.

Hebs
30-09-2009, 12:40 PM
well i don't mind them, along with slogan t-shirts :laughing:

mrsgreen
30-09-2009, 12:52 PM
well i don't mind them, along with slogan t-shirts :laughing:

yes i dont think they are as serious as people may think. there more just a peer thing then anything else. (for teenages, not young ones )
i have just read up on 'rainbow parties' so i would be looking out for lipstick colours more then bracelets! :eek:

Alibali
30-09-2009, 12:57 PM
I've never heard of this either, and have to admit to being a bit prudish:blush: DD16 doesn't wear make up let alone these bands!

I'll stick to my nice silver bracelet with the serenity prayer on it:laughing:

Kids need to be kids, they have the rest of their lives to be grown up and start worrying about sexual things

OrlandoBelle
30-09-2009, 12:58 PM
If my son ever comes home from school with these they will be ripped off his arm! I had no idea they had these meanings. They have been around since I was a teenager but were just fashion accessories back then as far as I was aware.

Thanks for letting us know!

mandy moo
30-09-2009, 01:45 PM
No, I haven't heard of these either!!! But now I'm having a debate with myself! If my son or mindees were wearing them, I would feel REALLY mean taking them away because to them, the bands are just the latest fad, like go-gos or something! Because they don't understand the meaning behind them, they can't possibly understand why you would take them away!

I just hope they don't get as far as the school I pick up from then I won't have to worry about it:(

Just thought, the go gos don't have 'secret' meaning do they? My son has over a hundred of them!!!:laughing:


:eek: so do mine, hope not:angry:

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 01:51 PM
yes i dont think they are as serious as people may think. there more just a peer thing then anything else. (for teenages, not young ones )
i have just read up on 'rainbow parties' so i would be looking out for lipstick colours more then bracelets! :eek:

some slogan t-shirts are ok but some of them I have seen are awful - for instance 'if you think I am hot wait till you see my mum' - HOT:eek: :eek: on a pre-pubescent child on a toddler??? No thank you. Another 'if you think I am a bi*** '. And others that are too darned ridiculous to even remember.
Little mini-me clothing for young adults and more suitable for a Friday night in a nightclub (on an 18yr old).
All I can say is thank goodness I have lads but in saying that I am trying to instill into them a sense of self respect and morality, respect for other human beings, my upcoming teenager - I certainly don't want him dipping his wick so to speak because he thinks its the thing to do being a lad (again I remember how the lads used to go on and pressure girls into sex and as someone else has said - lads get bigged up for it - girls get the bad rep) - going round breaking a girls hearts, picking up diseases or even being a father (for a good long while) - where does all this start - to me its early on teachings about self-respect.

I probably picked some wrong words earlier - I certainly didn't mean to imply that anyone who wasn't ok with this was prudish - we are each entitled to our views and thoughts. I was just trying to get across that I am easy going with the kids and open (bit too open according to Brian).:blush:

Joannechildmind
30-09-2009, 02:31 PM
Im with Hebs on this one, my dd is eight and she wears them as a fashion accessory thats all, i would not be happy if she came home at age eight telling me what they meant but when she is older then maybe one day she will i duno how i would feel then.

The VAST majority of kids who wear these do so just because they’re pretty, and NOT with any stupid sexual reputation attached.

As long as i teach my dd the rights and the wrongs and bring her up with values, self worth and in an open and honest manner.
At the end of the day children do grow up quicker nowadays. Kids usually follow there friends and if they all had them except my daughter then my daughter would feel terribly left out.

The way i see it is there just rubber bands, its fashion. Give our kids some credit, I doubt they are so stupid to preform sexual acts because someone “snaps” their band!!
Just my opinion :)

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 02:52 PM
At the end of the day children do grow up quicker nowadays. Kids usually follow there friends and if they all had them except my daughter then my daughter would feel terribly left out.

)

Yes kids do grow up quickly today BECAUSE of what we are surrounded with and 'peer pressure' They grow up quickly because of the adult population almost encouraging (and allowing) them to access these things.

As for following their friends - yes all kids do it but I also try to teach my own that its ok to be different, its ok to stick to what you think is right regardless if your friends are doing - its ok to be individual. You don't have to be one of the crowd.

And I don't think the representations these bands have are stupid in the slightest - I think its quite perverse for them to be targeted at such a young audience.

Some newspaper reports
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215712/Thousands-young-children-buying-coloured-wristbands-week-But-parents-idea-true-disturbing-meaning-.html

WARNING this site is (written) explict in naming what the colours mean: (apologies if it breaches regs mods and Iunderstand if you need to remove it)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shag+bands

PixiePetal
30-09-2009, 03:11 PM
For my own household it will be none of the bands. When DD was little she had lots of different coloured 'jelly bracelets' with no meaning attached. At 15 I feel it would be asking for trouble and will be asking her if they are around at school and if she realises the meanings. She would be horrified to think people were thinking that of her - I am not naieve(sp) she is growing up but I also know she is not into sex or anywhere near yet. She tells me of the latest 'hot' boys at school and that's as far as she goes - for now at least.

I am no prude, very open with the kids (DS will be asked too but he doesn't wear any fad things anyway) and the bands will be off limits. She only goes along with peers if she thinks it is right, she follows her own code of behavior and I am proud of her for being like that.

I am sure the bands will disappear again soon like all fads.

Just my opinions :blush:

wendywu
30-09-2009, 03:37 PM
I did not k now a thing about them until they were in the paper.

None of my after school mindees have got them, my DD has never mentioned them. :panic:

Joannechildmind
30-09-2009, 04:54 PM
Yes kids do grow up quickly today BECAUSE of what we are surrounded with and 'peer pressure' They grow up quickly because of the adult population almost encouraging (and allowing) them to access these things.

As for following their friends - yes all kids do it but I also try to teach my own that its ok to be different, its ok to stick to what you think is right regardless if your friends are doing - its ok to be individual. You don't have to be one of the crowd.

And I don't think the representations these bands have are stupid in the slightest - I think its quite perverse for them to be targeted at such a young audience.

Some newspaper reports
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215712/Thousands-young-children-buying-coloured-wristbands-week-But-parents-idea-true-disturbing-meaning-.html

WARNING this site is (written) explict in naming what the colours mean: (apologies if it breaches regs mods and Iunderstand if you need to remove it)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shag+bands

I also think we need to encourage our kids to be individual and have there own values, beliefs, but i am talking about children my dd's age (8) at her school they no nothing about these as i said before they wear them because they LIKE them as fashion items not for the sinister reason.

My dd can afford to buy them from her pocket money (there are aot of items she ususally has to save up for) and wears them with matching coloured outfits she does not know the meanings and nobody has ever mentioned them to her before (even her cousin who is 12) If she ever mentioned the name of them i would correct her and tell her not to say it.
I see no harm in my dd wearing them for what they are fashion bracelets.

PixiePetal
30-09-2009, 05:08 PM
Kids are in from school.Ds not heard of them and not interested - just as I thought:rolleyes:

DD knew all about them and what they were supposed to mean - said they were naff and chavvy! :laughing: So NOT her cup of tea. :)

End of family discussion. That was an easy one:thumbsup:

Rubybubbles
30-09-2009, 05:22 PM
def not for me or my children:panic:


why would you say yes to your child wearing them:(

With pip's 100% on this one


The children are only allowed to wear a help for heros wrist band at our schools:thumbsup: http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/ things with REAL meaning and understanding:littleangel:

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 05:30 PM
I also think we need to encourage our kids to be individual and have there own values, beliefs, but i am talking about children my dd's age (8) at her school they no nothing about these as i said before they wear them because they LIKE them as fashion items not for the sinister reason.

My dd can afford to buy them from her pocket money (there are aot of items she ususally has to save up for) and wears them with matching coloured outfits she does not know the meanings and nobody has ever mentioned them to her before (even her cousin who is 12) If she ever mentioned the name of them i would correct her and tell her not to say it.
I see no harm in my dd wearing them for what they are fashion bracelets.


sorry, Jo, I am not targeting you specifically :blush:
I would see nothing wrong in them IF they were just a harmless piece of fashion accessory but they aren't are they. Fair enough your DD doesn't know or understand the 'meaning' behind it - yet. Can I just ask what will you do when she comes in - if some helpful older child has taught her it?

In my instance, both my older sons (11yrs and 9yrs) knew about the undertones of these bands although the 9yr old didn't quite 'get it'. I don't want my chidren using that kind of language either tbh and seeing as I have several younger mindees and a 4yr son as well, I don't think the parents would be forgiving me any time soon if they picked up the language/lingo.

Trouble
30-09-2009, 05:33 PM
i think they should banned them:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
before they start trouble

Lady Haha
30-09-2009, 05:34 PM
I have decided I'm also against them, sorry! I've just been reading some stuff online about these and apparently young children are getting to know the meanings and saying things like "if I snap this colour on some one, they have to do sex with me" ........I have found it hard enough trying to tone down some of the comments the kids and my son come out with, telling them that sex is for grown ups etc, but then this happens and from what I've read so far, even the younger kids are learning the meaning behind them. I don't want my son to have any if they reach our school!

Joannechildmind
30-09-2009, 05:47 PM
Can I just ask what will you do when she comes in - if some helpful older child has taught her it?

In my instance, both my older sons (11yrs and 9yrs) knew about the undertones of these bands although the 9yr old didn't quite 'get it'. I don't want my chidren using that kind of language either tbh and seeing as I have several younger mindees and a 4yr son as well, I don't think the parents would be forgiving me any time soon if they picked up the language/lingo.

If my dd came home telling me what she had heard then i would tell her not to use that language and correct her by telling her they are fashion bracelets.

Im not saying that i am against them banning them, obviously i wouldnt want young children thinking that way or using that language at all, and to me it seem to differ in each area, but where i live i havent heard anything about young children using them bracelets in that way.
We said that stuff at senior school when i was there for just a bit of fun.

All im saying is my dd loves them for what they are fashion bracelets maybe my dd is innocent and maybe im being nieve i dunno.

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 06:09 PM
If my dd came home telling me what she had heard then i would tell her not to use that language and correct her by telling her they are fashion bracelets.

Im not saying that i am against them banning them, obviously i wouldnt want young children thinking that way or using that language at all, and to me it seem to differ in each area, but where i live i havent heard anything about young children using them bracelets in that way.
We said that stuff at senior school when i was there for just a bit of fun.

All im saying is my dd loves them for what they are fashion bracelets maybe my dd is innocent and maybe im being nieve i dunno.

I respect your views on this Jo and thats cool - each to their own that is what makes this world tick:thumbsup:

Joannechildmind
30-09-2009, 06:13 PM
I respect your views on this Jo and thats cool - each to their own that is what makes this world tick:thumbsup:

Exactly! most of us are parents as well as childminders and do what we feel is right, the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same. :)

Glad to know we can all air our views and opinions. :clapping:

Thanks Pip. :D

Pipsqueak
30-09-2009, 06:39 PM
Exactly! most of us are parents as well as childminders and do what we feel is right, the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same. :)

Glad to know we can all air our views and opinions. :clapping:

Thanks Pip. :D

Once again the beauty of this forum shines through!!!:thumbsup: :D