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View Full Version : Advice with behaviour please!



little miss chatterbox
29-09-2009, 05:48 PM
Ok, so I think I'm a fairly strict mum, don't take any rubbish off my children and tend to be firm but fair with my mindee's too. I don't usually have a discipline problem except the odd thing here and there (my children are good but not angels!)

So I have a 23 month old who I've had since June. Mindee is lovely, very cute (and they know it) and usually very good and placid!

However, just recently they have been pushing the boundaries a little bit (hitting dogs, shouting and screaming in the house and putting food on the floor)

So when I try to discipline said mindee, I tell them that what they are doing is naughty or not nice (i use not acceptable with older children but I feel a 23 month old wont understand the words not acceptable). I get down to their level and use a low firm voice......mindee just laughs at me!

I had a chat with mum once when the food was thrown on the floor because they did it once, I told them it was naughty and they did it again. Mum informed me that when they say something is naughty to child the child then thinks it's a game and does it more.

So I took from that conversation that they are not very firm with mindee when they discipline them and probably laugh at the same time hence why mindee is either laughing at me or smiling at me waiting for me to laugh!

It's starting to wear me down though because everything I say falls on deaf ears and gets ignored and mindee carries on hitting dogs etc!

So I wondered if you lovely people could give me some advice on how you would proceed. Would you perservere and hope it gets through, have another chat with parents about discipline, or my other thinking is can I use a time out spot for mindee or are they too young to understand? I would do it with one of my children but I'm not sure if 23 months is too young?

I eagerly await your pearls of wisdom!

The Juggler
29-09-2009, 06:04 PM
23 months not too young. have a thinking chair. just tell them they must sit there until they are ready to pick up food and/or say sorry to you or the dog.

Once they pass two I use a buzzer so they know when then can come down. if they are not ready then they can sit until they are (I just keep checking every minute or so to see if they are).

One mindee 2 1/2 poked his tongue out at me every time I asked him if he was ready to say sorry. Once, he so refused to look or listen to me and put his tongue away that he sat on the sofa for 40 minutes before he looked at me, put his tongue away and said sorry. I had another child who would laugh at me when told off, he would sit on the chair call me poo poo face and spit at me or on the table or floor - charming. He was 2 1/2 too. All children react differently. You might just need to adjust the time or where you sit them as they are slightly younger.

LOL

heidi p
29-09-2009, 06:24 PM
I agree you need to have a time out spot ,chair, bottom stair and as you do already explain to them they would not like to be hit or called names. Maybe try a reward chart stickers work wonders I have them all round my house for everything . Get mum to try reward chart at home so you can work together
hope this helps but I am sure you have tried all these
heidi

youarewhatyoueat
29-09-2009, 06:46 PM
Remove the dog and sit down to eat, no sitting no food. Sorry if that sounds a bit obvious but she's not yet 2, easier to remove the problem sometimes. I don't ask children to say sorry unless i'm very sure they are going to say it as it sets you up for another argument. Carry on being firm, and make sure they know when they are behaving well that you tell them that that is the way you want them to behave, and lots of praise, and be consistent.

Mrs.L.C
29-09-2009, 06:56 PM
You probably do do it but just incase - do you explain to the child why you dont want them doing what ever the negative behaviour is? Some times just saying no or naughty isnt enough - I did this a couple of times without thinking and the children just laugh/smile/do it again but if I get down to their level and say we do not (what ever to behaviour was eg hitting the dog) Because...........eg it makes the dog sad and its not nice to make others sad (making a sad face) then this usualy works. Failing that I use time out but like you say the child isnt quite 2 yet so may not work just yet

Sounds like a typical 2 year old pushing the boundaries - thats why we call it the terrible 2's - a testing age

uf353432
29-09-2009, 07:19 PM
If the parents use the words naughty you need to use a different word - I use not acceptable on all my kids regardless of age - I also keep it short and sweet and then move on. Be consistent, firm and fair just as you always do. If you feel removing them from the situation is beneficial then try it - especially if you do that for older kids as well. I wouldn't give her special treatment.

mrsgreen
30-09-2009, 01:16 PM
i think your first reaction on telling them it is 'not nice' and getting down is good. but maybe try playing a different game if thats what she thinks it is? i.e if she pets the dog nicely make a big deal of it? wow what a great petter you are :clapping: you get a star for that.
try making more attension on when she does the good things then she will want to play the being good game with you?

just an idea, hope it works :)

little miss chatterbox
30-09-2009, 09:26 PM
Thanks everyone for your advice, I have him again tomorrow so will see what happens!

Sounds like I might just need to perservere with the tough line and really over emphasise praise for the good stuff!

will keep ya posted!