View Full Version : Newbie - Do I give notice? Help!

24-09-2009, 09:59 PM
I am new to childminding and have been looking after a baby for a few weeks and all is going well.

Took on a 5 yr old boy this week who is in my DS class and they have just started in reception. I am looking after him before and after school which is adding up to about 3 hours a day. My DS is just 4 and rather sensitive and the 5 yr old seems to have sensed this and is now starting to antagonise him even in the space of 4 days. He is only at our house for a fairly short space of time but manages to reek havoc. To be honest I am finding the mindee downright rude. I could put it down to being boisterous but for instance I tell him to stop jumping on the sofa and just get a sullen look along with a NO. This is quite apart from throwing things at DS2 and pulling DS1s hair.

He does what he is told eventually and says a half hearted sorry but I do not really have the energy to try and correct his behaviour in the long term, with a baby mindee and my own two boys. Also I do not want to upset my DS as starting a new school can be traumatic enough without this to contend with. I did have a chat with his Mum today when she came to collect to say I was monitoring the situation over the next couple of weeks. I put it down to the boys not getting along and having totally different characters.

Do you think I am giving up too soon ( I am really not a quitter but don't want to upset DS1) and is this par for the course with a child settling in who tries to pull his weight and push the boundaries. How would you go about displine in this case? The thing that crosses my mind is if he is so cocky and rude in 4 days what will he be like in 4 months?

Any advice please.

christine e
25-09-2009, 07:17 AM
Tbh I would probably give this a bit longer before I made any decisions but really if you are not happy and more importantly your own children are not happy then give notice.


25-09-2009, 07:23 AM
He has to learn to respect you and your house rules. Be very very firm and very very stern if he plays up. Just get cross, i find a raised voice (but not shouting) does wonders.
Then if he does something nice praise him to the roof.

Always worked for me :)

25-09-2009, 07:59 AM
sounds like hes testing the boundaries. i would be frustrated too , but he will learn what behaviour is acceptable in time. only you know if you can devote that time to him. maybe mum will warn him , after all she wont want to lose her childcare. sit him down and let him help you decide on the house rules , he might feel more involved then. bribery's always good ( of course im mean rewarding positive behaviour!) - maybe an hour on the playstation on fridays if hes been good during the week , or trip to the park or whatever works for you.
But thats the downside of childminding - you and your family have to adapt to children ( and parents!) you may not usually choose as friends. If i could pick and choose Id stick to babies!

25-09-2009, 09:10 AM
Thanks for the replys. I will give it a bit longer and try to instill the house rules into him. The other aspect to this is he has an autistic 11 year old brother who I will look after occasionally too, just the odd hour here and there. Understandably his mum is worried about having to settle him in somewhere else so i want to give her plenty of notice if I do feel it really isn't going to work out in the long run.

It is hard to know how a child will fit in when you first accept them especially as he didn't have much of a settling in session what with holidays etc. Has taught me a lesson in that I need to make sure there are more settling in sessions and I will watch how the children interact with mine. It is all a learning process.

25-09-2009, 10:48 AM
i also think he is testing the boundries, you need to be firm with hm and if he says no when you ask him not to do somthing then either sit him in time out or ban him from somthing he enjoys, for mine its the wii, they have half hour a day but if they are naughty then i cut their time down or if realy bad they get none.
I wouldnt give up so early as he is only really learning your rules and once he has learnt them and realises that you wont put up with any nonsense then he will start to behave, i would also speak to mum about how his behaviour is effecting your son and how he breaks rules and has no respect and also that not only will you discourgae bad behaviouir and how but that you will create a reward chart for when he's good. if she realises what hes like and that she risks loosing you then she may well help.

25-09-2009, 01:28 PM
I had a terrible time with a mindee I had after school who was in my ds class, it was the worst 8 months, he wasn't naughty but very odd, it drove my family nuts. I had to give notice and now will not look after children in the same class for more than the occasional after school care as a favour. You have to consider your childs feelings, they have spent all day with this child and that is often enough. My ds got upset that he couldn't have friends home and all his friends presumed this lad we had back every night was his best mate it caused all sorts of problems.

25-09-2009, 01:40 PM
Oh dear I hadn't thought of that side of it. Hadn't realised it would be so troublesome to look after someone is DS class. Will be giving this lots of thought over the next couple of weeks. Thanks.

25-09-2009, 01:47 PM
My girl mindee aged 3yrs old, I have for 5hrs after pre-school once a week and she always comes into the house and says she wants TV on and a yoghurt NOW!
I just tell her in a firm voice that she is in my house now and that she needs to play for a bit and I'll get lunch ready.
She never stays still at the table and keep wandering off. I've spoken to mum about it and she says that's what they do at home. Not too bad if you are doing sandwiches but it's going to be a waste of time with hot food :mad:
Another thing that winds me up is that she will ask for something else before finishing the previous thing.
She wanted two yoghurts and opened both of them (petit filou), ate one and then said she wanted crips (she spied them in the kitchen but I don't give crips to mindees), I just told her with a raised but not shouting voice that "You finish what you asked for first!"
She then good as gold, sat down and ate the petit filou and then I got her some biscuits and praised her for eating the yoghurt.
Kids like to know who is boss! :thumbsup:

30-09-2009, 03:59 PM
Thanks for your advice on this. The situation is now resolved as after I spoke to the mindees Mum she found out breakfast/afterschool club had a space just in case. Once she told me this and we had another few occasions of my DS being made to cry by the mindee I decided it would be best he went there. I think he may enjoy it better anyway as he can play with older kids and use up his boundless energy. Ironically in the last few day he and my DS were getting on better and I was very stern in letting him know the house rules so he was starting to get it. However I think it would have been an ongoing struggle so I do feel quite relieved now.

Do feel a bit of a failure though as I have given up the first after schoolie I had after less than 2 weeks! However I know it was the best thing to do for my DS at the moment so trying not to feel too bad. Have learnt a lot over this experience and will definately be very cautious about looking after children in the same class as DS in future. Think I will let DS settle into reception before attempting anymore after schoolies. Hopefully his Mum will still talk to me if I see her at school.