mum thinks a childminder is just a posh word for babysitter!

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

I have a child that i look after from 7.30am till 9.00am when i drop him to pre-school.

Bit of back ground!
His parents are seperated and he spents one week with one and one with the other, (although this seems never seems to be the case) anyway ive only minded him for just short of 4 weeks, when he first came here he was a lovely boy but as the time is going by his behaviour is getting worse. (especially when he is changing from 1 parent to the other) Yesterday he told my child that he was going to smack her in the face (charming!).

Anyway 2 weeks ago his key worker at the pre school, pulled me to one side and asked me about his behaviour over the last 2 days, i said that he had been fine with me and she said he had spent most of the days in time out. and that his behaviour is an ongoing issue. She then informed me that the parent said that as i only look after him for 1 hour a day (1 1/2 actually) i dont need to communicate with the pre school so they are not allowed to discuss him with me.

I spoke to dad about why i needed to communicate with the pre school and how it would be in the childs best intrests. I explained in simple english about the eyfs, obs etc and that prehaps we all needed to be disiplining him in the same way other wise it would be confusing for a 3 yr old to know what behaivour is allowed where.

Finally thought i was getting somewhere when i got a letter from the school today from mum saying the only thing they are allowed to talk to me about is his disipline!:angry:

The mum seems to think i am just a babysitter! she doesnt want me to do anything constructive with him as he does this at pre school

im lucky if mum says hello to me!:angry: i never get told if he has had breakfast and hes starting to ask for food, i never know which parent is dropping him off:angry:

The things is he can be such a lovley boy and i want to help him withhis behaviour as i thinkits just a temp thing but the mum is a nightmare!
sorry for long rant at least i feel abit better!:)

[kindredspirits]

i would personally pull mum to one side - explain that your job and eyfs is a legal requirement and therefore she either treats you with respect or you'll give notice. if she wants a babysitter she needs to go to an unregistered childminder with no insurance or crb - i don't think that because you have him less than 2 hours you are exempt from eyfs you just don't have to technically be registered - but i might be wrong.

[Helen79]

I would also talk to mum & explain how important it is for you to be able to speak to pre-school.
What if he has an accident with you in the morning & you need to tell them about it or if he's not feeling well & they need to know.

Maybe she feels that you & pre-school are discussing her child & her family negatively & judging them, maybe she thinks that you're just gossiping about them which obviously isn't the case.

Could you arrange a meeting with the pre-school, mum & yourself to all sit down together to discuss why it's so important to be able to share information.

[angeldelight]

I have a parent who is much the same - you can show her the paper work and explain till the cows come home but it does not make any difference

I think you are giving it your all and its all that you can really do under the circumstances

Shame you have not got parents support though because like you say you all need to follow the same rules otherwise little one is going to get confused

You are doing your best so well done

Angel xxx

[Jellytotzjulia]

Have you thought mum may be a bit jealous of you as you get to see her child everyday yet she only shes him every other week,(sorry if this wrong, that's how i read it). Is dad happy for you & pre-school to communicate? if so could he not explain to mum the importance of this

Julia

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

Have you thought mum may be a bit jealous of you as you get to see her child everyday yet she only shes him every other week,(sorry if this wrong, that's how i read it). Is dad happy for you & pre-school to communicate? if so could he not explain to mum the importance of this

Julia

Dad said he didnt understand why i couldnt talk to them. I explained why it was important for me and pre school to communicate, He then spoke to mum and said that she only wants me to talk about disipline. So what more can i do? I have to add the boy is better behaved whilst his with dad.

[jeanybeany]

I had a parent that treated me with no respect (she was a kind of friend as well to make it worse). In the end I gave notice as I just could not take how she treated me in my own home in front of everyone as well. When I offered to help her find alternative care, she said she would never use a childminder again! I think in my case she would never be happy and really wanted her children to goto an after scxhool club or childrens centre and use me when it suited.

I would do as others have said and explain to her the importance of it all. If she still won't co operate then atleast you've tried.

[youarewhatyoueat]

If you have a child for less than 2 hours a day, I thought you didn't have to be registered and if thats the case then if the child can go to a babysitter then why do you need to do the eyfs with him. It doesn't effect me as all the children I have for longer but do you still have to document the eyfs with him?