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View Full Version : cant decide whether to be upset of angry!!



mrsgreen
23-09-2009, 08:51 AM
sorry for the rant but i need to get his out! i am a newly reg cm and i had a friend of mine who wanted me to take on her 2 children. 11 month and 4 yrs.
problem was i only have 1 space for under 5s as i have two children myself already under 5.
i told her i would be happy to apply for a variation to take them both on, but she would have to sort someting out in the meantime.
No! she wanted me to just take them on cash in hand and came up with a plan if ofsted should find out!
i said no of course and didnt want to risk my registration. she wasnt happy with this and said fine i'll just have to take holiday form work then.
felt very guilty last night but what can i do?
and then this morning she turns up at the school with baby in arms saying shes desperate and needs to go to work today!! expecting me to have him! what the ????!
i live in a village and there are no other childminders about and i understand shes desperate, but i just cant do it.
please tell me i havent been silly, i think our friendship is well and truly down the pan!

jeanybeany
23-09-2009, 08:58 AM
No you have not been silly. I would do the exact same thing. I think if she was a friend then she would understand and not put you in that situation in the first place and respect the fact that you have worked hard to become registered and not expect you to risk losing your livelyhood. I think you should be proud of yourself you have said you will try for a variation and have offered to help the best way you can.

Good luck x

EllaBella
23-09-2009, 08:59 AM
if your friend was a real friend she wouldnt have even put you in this situation, this is your livelyhood that you would lose if you were found out, they dont realise how hard we work to become registered and keep standards. you did the right thing, its not worth being reported/loosing your reg over. xx

angeldelight
23-09-2009, 09:06 AM
I think its very mean of her to put you in this situation anyway if she was your friend she would not even ask

I have to say though that some people just do not think and they think that a childminder is just someone to have their children - so giving her the benefit of the doubt maybe she is one of those ignorant people who does not have a clue about all the things that a minder does?

Hope it does not spoil your friendship but you were right to say no

Angel xx

mrsgreen
23-09-2009, 09:12 AM
thanks guys, the funny thing is i became friends with her because she trained to be a cm too! but she is not taking on any children until after xmas as she doesnt want to give her job up. so she knows exactly how much work it is and what i could lose! sometimes i think shes doing it on purpose.

EllaBella
23-09-2009, 09:16 AM
thanks guys, the funny thing is i became friends with her because she trained to be a cm too! but she is not taking on any children until after xmas as she doesnt want to give her job up. so she knows exactly how much work it is and what i could lose! sometimes i think shes doing it on purpose.

is there some jealousy on her part maybe???? i had a friend who was jealous of what i was doing and made it obvious that she was not happy that i was doing this, all this because she was being questioned by social services as they had concerns over her childs welfare, yet she was jealous that i was cleared by crb , and ofsted passed me, some people hve very odd wierd ways of thinking. x x

angeldelight
23-09-2009, 09:16 AM
thanks guys, the funny thing is i became friends with her because she trained to be a cm too! but she is not taking on any children until after xmas as she doesnt want to give her job up. so she knows exactly how much work it is and what i could lose! sometimes i think shes doing it on purpose.

Oh well in that case maybe she is hoping that you get caught doing something you should not be doing so she can then have all the work you would have got ?

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Angel xxx

PixiePetal
23-09-2009, 09:16 AM
thanks guys, the funny thing is i became friends with her because she trained to be a cm too! but she is not taking on any children until after xmas as she doesnt want to give her job up. so she knows exactly how much work it is and what i could lose! sometimes i think shes doing it on purpose.


Def don't give in, is she waiting for you to slip up? I am such a suspicious person :rolleyes:

sunnysmile
23-09-2009, 09:41 AM
You have done the right thing, she knows the rules and should respect that.

EllaBella
23-09-2009, 09:55 AM
thanks guys, the funny thing is i became friends with her because she trained to be a cm too! but she is not taking on any children until after xmas as she doesnt want to give her job up. so she knows exactly how much work it is and what i could lose! sometimes i think shes doing it on purpose.

that mkes it even worse on her part!!!!! she knows the rules and to ask you to do that is just plan wrong she cant ever feign ignorance to the rules!!, stick to your guns , you did the right thing by saying no x x

manjay
23-09-2009, 10:00 AM
I would certainly not do anything to jeopardise your registration so you have done the right thing. Just wondered as you mentioned that she was at school does this mean her 4 year old goes to school already? Maybe she is still part time but once the child is full time she should count in your 5-8 age group.

Having said that personally I would never work for friends and it sounds like she already has unrealistic expectations before you even look after her children:rolleyes:

Good luck xx

mrsgreen
23-09-2009, 10:26 AM
I would certainly not do anything to jeopardise your registration so you have done the right thing. Just wondered as you mentioned that she was at school does this mean her 4 year old goes to school already? Maybe she is still part time but once the child is full time she should count in your 5-8 age group.

Having said that personally I would never work for friends and it sounds like she already has unrealistic expectations before you even look after her children:rolleyes:

Good luck xx

thanks, her child wont be full time until jan.
i agree with working for friends, it was in the back of my mind about it being awkward, so 'ill just say no and suffer the after effects!
the joys of this job!! :jump for joy: