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newandlearning
15-09-2009, 03:02 PM
hi everyone.. over the summer my mindee (nearly 3yo) always came in crocks.. in the end I asked if he could have a pair of trainers left here as he was getting blisters with the crocks.. last week I gave the trainers back and said that as we wouldn't be walking and going to farms as much now she could have the shoes back and then they were available at home.. to be honest I got tired of having crocks, trainers and now wellies here constantly for ONE mindee.. I've not got room.. today when mum came she said he'd been up early again.. had woken up sibling and been watching telly till she got up.. (she doesn't know wot time .. cud be 5am) .. anyway.. as she didn't want an arguement with him she gave me trainers again and said here you go.. I've let him wear crocks. I've also been told to only give dummy during nap time yet he has it when he comes in morning and mum gives it to him again in afternoon.. (IM getting tantrums coz he wants dummy at other times too )I feel like I'm doing a lot of the behavioural mgmt here and that he really needs a good nights sleep.. he's waking in night and then getting up whenever he wants and turning on telly..:( ..

now I'm thinking I just need to do the best I can this end with any tantrums etc.. but I don't want to feel like I'm always saying stuff to mum..

how do I get these trainers back? wud you just let mum sort out the sleep/waking early thing.. its impacting how he is with me .. and I feel a lot of his change in behaviour is a sleep related one... am happy to help him put them on if he arrives in them but feel its just too much p:censored: ing around to have the crocks and trainers here.. xx

sorry .. gone on a bit..xx:laughing:

Pipsqueak
15-09-2009, 03:12 PM
think you need to ask mum for some time to chat and explain exactly how you have on your post hunny. As for the dummy - you need to explain to mum about consistent messages.

Could you not get a small box for him to keep his personal stuff in?
I have a box per child that clothes, toys from home, paintings, shoes, wellies. spare stuff gets put in and that gets stacked or chucked in the cupboard when I am not working.

newandlearning
15-09-2009, 03:17 PM
thanks for reply.. I have a small box .. its got spair jeans, socks, top, jumper, wellies.. swim nappies... and I have a rain jacket, nappies, and winter jacket on his peg. I feel like I really haven't got room for more. I agree I need to ask when he has dummy at home .. but she only has him one day sometimes two everyother weekend.. so its really tricky figuring out what is really happening at home and what her ideal happenings are.. if you know what I mean.x

Pipsqueak
15-09-2009, 05:23 PM
stop guessing hun and talk to the parent.

sarah707
15-09-2009, 07:30 PM
I often get children arriving in slippers with wellies, crocs and trainers in a bag!!

I take them as they come, whatever it takes to get them out of the house on time... sort them out when they get here.

I think of it as part of my job... but if you are concerned then you really need to speak to the mum.

Good luck! :D

helenlc
15-09-2009, 07:40 PM
I agree. You need to discuss things with Mum and explain that things will only get better if you are both consistently doing the same thing.

I used to discuss my 3 yr old's mindee's sleep patterns with mum as it affected his behaviour with me during the day. Maybe suggest that mum gets in touch with her HV and/or local sleep clinic for some advice.

We went to the sleep clinic with my son and they gave us some suggestions for things to do and explained things about what can affect sleep etc. I had a Btec Nursery Nurse qualification and 10 yrs child care experience before I had my son - but had never had a child over night and my son was a s*d at night time!!

Speak with Mum. Log down in a diary or somewhere what you have discussed. Even if mum doesnt act on your suggestions, you can tell Ofsted that you have attempted to work with mum.

FussyElmo
15-09-2009, 08:09 PM
thanks for reply.. I have a small box .. its got spair jeans, socks, top, jumper, wellies.. swim nappies... and I have a rain jacket, nappies, and winter jacket on his peg. I feel like I really haven't got room for more. I agree I need to ask when he has dummy at home .. but she only has him one day sometimes two everyother weekend.. so its really tricky figuring out what is really happening at home and what her ideal happenings are.. if you know what I mean.x

Where is he on the other days. His tantrums could be a part of the way he gets attention if he is going to different houses and then coming to you. Its not just mum who you need to talk to but whereever else he is going to else he is going to be getting very mixed messages.

Personally I dont mind the extra shoe because then at least I do I have them - but understand where you are coming from with the crocs:)

newandlearning
16-09-2009, 06:27 AM
I did speak to mum again yesterday and said that I was happy for him to come in whatever shoes she wanted to put on him and I've got the wellies for wet days.. the trainers no longer fit without a really good push so they might as well stay at home.

I think you are all right I shall start logging better my conversations with mum and keep talking with her .. I just want to make sure I'm wording this gently .. I think I probably do this ok at mo .. I just want to ensure that the mindees are happy here I now begin to realise that maybe this is not always possibly and thats ok x