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twinkle3005
13-09-2009, 03:55 PM
How do I tell a parent that her children smell?

I've been looking after 3 siblings for 2 weeks, 2 days a week and they all smell, particularly the youngest one who still wets herself. Having little chats with the children it seems they only have a bath once a week and wash their hair once a week as well. It's really embarrassing taking them out as I'm sure other people will be able to smell them. They're lovely kids and Mums seems ok but how can I bring this up with her without causing offence or upset?

Tily Bud
13-09-2009, 03:59 PM
not sure to be honest as im hopeless at dealing with things like this x but maybe you could either say that other children have commented or you could say they got really dirty and you had to clean them, but this wont solve the overall problem x

sorry not much help xx

Hebs
13-09-2009, 04:07 PM
how old are the kids??

Ripeberry
13-09-2009, 04:13 PM
My kids aged 4 and 7 only have two baths a week with a hair wash. The rest of the time they have a strip wash with a flannel.
Sounds like its the clothes that are smelling. Are they always wearing the same ones?
Difficult to tell the parent I know, but you need to keep an eye on this as it is and indicator of negligence. I went on a Safeguarding course yesterday and the stories they told us make your hair stand on end. Especially about smelly children :(

mrsgreen
13-09-2009, 07:52 PM
ooo.. sounds little bit of neglect here. i would certainly record it.
i know its differcult to approach but she may not be aware of how bad they are? you might have to just tell her they need washing more. what a shame!:(

margimum
13-09-2009, 08:09 PM
I think this is a very delicate situation.
It is a very subjective issue. What may be neglect for someone is normal to another person.
Unless these children have skin problems I don't think you can do anything.
You can perhaps mention to mum about a change of clothes for the one who has 'accidents' but family and cultural differences have to be tolerated.
You can perhaps encourage the older children to keep themselves clean with 'prizes' of bubble bath or bath crayons for a special job they have done for you?

tammerisk
13-09-2009, 09:05 PM
i only bath my baby once a week my be tqwice cause of his excma and he always smells!!!!!

they have said that you should only bath your chuldren a few tiome a week as they don't need it and i strips the skin of its natural oils if you wash them to much

angel9199
14-09-2009, 08:37 AM
I was in the same situation as yourself The mindees I had always smelt of urine, they only had a bath once a week and if they missed it they just waited until the next week so mtheir hair was always greasy as well, it got so bad i had to drive with my windows open when in the car.
I spoke to mum and tred to put it as nicely as possible but I was told the older child leaks when she laughs (she is 8) and started to laugh!!!!
I had these children for a 7 months and I felt really bad for the child, I'm sure her parents must have been able to smell her as well.

Mouse
14-09-2009, 08:46 AM
Are the children at school? I know it might seem like passing the problem onto someone else, but why not have a word with the school nurse? They are trained to deal with this sort of thing and probably have past experience of it. It might help prevent any awkwardness between yourself & the parents.
It might be that they are already doing something about it anyway, or that it has already been noted, so you would be working together.

Daftbat
14-09-2009, 12:24 PM
You could phone their doctors surgery and have a word with the health visitor ande ask her to drop in to see them at home with mum. They are more used to dealing with this type of thing.

The Juggler
14-09-2009, 01:20 PM
do they all wet? you could try saying due to the accidents today, might want to give them a bath tonight? Or do they come with spare clothes. They could have a water/paint accident during day and you could change them?

Sorry not much help. This is difficult one.

LOL

mrsgreen
15-09-2009, 10:21 AM
hi again, sorry to be bit of a moaner but i am a little surprised about the idea of passing the problem onto a health visitor or school nurse? we as childminders are responsible for the children in our care and i wouldn't think its a good idea to talk to others unless you have parent permission?
there is not really an easy way around this apart from telling the parent (one of them awkward things in life)
hope you manage to sort this out.
no offence intended. xx

Pipsqueak
15-09-2009, 11:21 AM
hi again, sorry to be bit of a moaner but i am a little surprised about the idea of passing the problem onto a health visitor or school nurse? we as childminders are responsible for the children in our care and i wouldn't think its a good idea to talk to others unless you have parent permission?
there is not really an easy way around this apart from telling the parent (one of them awkward things in life)
hope you manage to sort this out.
no offence intended. xx

you are right Mrsgreen in part but there are many things which are extremely hard to tackle - especially for some people.
It is also part of the childminders responsbilities to work in partnership with other professionals.

Remember what you read on this forum (or any other for that matter) is only suggestions and advice that doesn't have to be followed but sometimes it can open up new avenues.

Personally I would HATE to have to tackle this problem but as a minder with a bit of experience under my belt now, the confidence in what I do (just not in myself lol) and the unending support of this forum and its members I think I would broach the subject with the parent(s).

I presume seeing as the OP has them daytimes they are under 5's?
you could do a topic that involves looking after ourselves - why we wash, clean out teeth etc and let all the parents know that this is the topic you are doing. Send home leaflets with all the kids, make a chart to show when the kids have brushed their teeth etc etc.

Mouse
15-09-2009, 11:22 AM
hi again, sorry to be bit of a moaner but i am a little surprised about the idea of passing the problem onto a health visitor or school nurse? we as childminders are responsible for the children in our care and i wouldn't think its a good idea to talk to others unless you have parent permission?
there is not really an easy way around this apart from telling the parent (one of them awkward things in life)
hope you manage to sort this out.
no offence intended. xx


No offence taken.

Part of our job is to know when to seek help from other professionals & not to assume that we know it all.
I have had no training in an area such as this, unlike school nurses & health visitors. I have parental permission to speak to anyone who I feel will be able to offer me help in supporting the children & their families.

In some cases I do think it is better to engage the help of experienced professionals rather than trying to solve a problem yourself & ending up causing more harm than good.

I am an excellent childminder, but fully aware of my limitations and don't for one minute believe I can solve all the problems by myself.

Pipsqueak
15-09-2009, 11:32 AM
Mouse said it better than me - so Ditto lol

and same here - no offence taken MrsG - we are all entitled to our opinion!

cuffleygirl
15-09-2009, 11:36 AM
How old are the children? Could you say you heard some children teasing them in the playground and tbh you had noticed they could be a little fresher?

Its worth keeping an eye on the clothes just in case, if you have them full time mum may have become accustom to the smell and isn't with them long enough for it to trouble her nostrils! Is it all the children or one in particular?

Good luck 'cos its tricky from so many angles!

youarewhatyoueat
15-09-2009, 11:48 AM
I have a 15 month old that could be a bit fresher but she is around dogs and horses, I also know a lovely family with three girls who often look a bit grubby,and unkempt but neither family neglects their children, their priorities are just not as fussy as mine. I think you have to be very careful what you say to anyone, grubby kids does not always shout neglect, we all have different standards.

The Juggler
15-09-2009, 01:23 PM
How old are the children? Could you say you heard some children teasing them in the playground and tbh you had noticed they could be a little fresher?

Its worth keeping an eye on the clothes just in case, if you have them full time mum may have become accustom to the smell and isn't with them long enough for it to trouble her nostrils! Is it all the children or one in particular?

Good luck 'cos its tricky from so many angles!

ooh, good plan. telling mum you overheard someone saying something.

tinkerbelle
15-09-2009, 03:12 PM
sorry but if someone insinuated my kids stank i would not be best pleased
for one there is no mention of age here or if in fact its the child thanks stinks or if its the clothing
i have dealt with this before in my setting mum and dad were not the cleanest of folks plus they chain smoked
i got round it by teaching the older child about hygiene and cleaning the younger one with wipes or a flannel and asking mum and dad for a set of spare clothes to be kept with me i simply washed the spare clothes and swapped them when mum had gone n swapped back at home time simple the smell had gone

The Juggler
15-09-2009, 06:23 PM
sorry but if someone insinuated my kids stank i would not be best pleased
for one there is no mention of age here or if in fact its the child thanks stinks or if its the clothing
i have dealt with this before in my setting mum and dad were not the cleanest of folks plus they chain smoked
i got round it by teaching the older child about hygiene and cleaning the younger one with wipes or a flannel and asking mum and dad for a set of spare clothes to be kept with me i simply washed the spare clothes and swapped them when mum had gone n swapped back at home time simple the smell had gone


tinkerbelle, I just meant it might be kinder to approach the parents to say you had overheard something and didn't want kids to be teased or upset at school, rather than it coming directly from us as a CM.

I think changing into the spare clothes is a good idea.

LisaMcNally09
15-09-2009, 06:35 PM
sorry but if someone insinuated my kids stank i would not be best pleased
for one there is no mention of age here or if in fact its the child thanks stinks or if its the clothing
i have dealt with this before in my setting mum and dad were not the cleanest of folks plus they chain smoked
i got round it by teaching the older child about hygiene and cleaning the younger one with wipes or a flannel and asking mum and dad for a set of spare clothes to be kept with me i simply washed the spare clothes and swapped them when mum had gone n swapped back at home time simple the smell had gone


I know exactly what you mean but i also wouldnt like to think anyone is talking about my children behind their back. If the CM has noticed that they smell then its highly possible other people notice aswell!!!

There is some very cruel people out their, I was bullied at school (not because I smelt:blush: ) and its an awful awful thing to go through!!

I think it definately needs to be broached with the parents so it can possibly be nipped in the bud!!

It also may be a good idea just to ask a health visitors advice without naming any names!!!

HTH