Don't Agree With Mum!

[anneriddington]

I mind a little girl who was two in December. Her mum arrived today with a bag of pants and one spare pair of jeans and said she won't wear a nappy anymore! So shes going to go ito pants. S comes to me Mon-Thurs 10-4.00 and even though we have introduced the potty and toilet etc to her she has yet to wee on it! I have told mum this but took the bag of spares and said to her I would see how the morning went.

Whenever I asked S if she needed the potty she said yes, she is happy to sit and when I asked her if she has finished she says yes- but the pot is empty:( She has soiled and wet three times this morning and so I have put on the nappy mum put in her bag.

I feel S is not yet ready to leave off nappies I did suggest pull ups but mum won't hear of it. (She has always used Tesco value nappies and won't pay the price of pull ups) I am going to chat to mum when she collects S later but wondered what you ladies think:)

[Twinkles]

I'd suggest she takes a week off to potty train her if that's what she wants to do :D

[Spangles]

Poor little girl! She doesn't sound ready at all. It's not like she wees on the potty at all so there's nothing positive coming out of this at all. I think she'll just get disheartened. Sounds like she doesn't understand any of this at all.

I agree with you, you need to chat to the mum.

[anneriddington]

I think the problem is that mum is a courier delivery person and she spent the first year of her life sat in a child seat! Mum is comparing her to her other "4" children and thinks she should be dry now, I agree it is a shame, mum is always in a rush and harrassed! The only reason I keep her on my books is I can't face sending her back to sitting in a car all day

[Banana]

I would agree with you on that. You need to soeak to mum! However I wouldnt suggest pull ups, I personally think they are a waste of time and lengthen the amount of time potty training can take as they are confusinig for the child. If they wet themselves they stay dry and thats what you want to get out of their mind, being wet isnt nice and they soon learn that :)

Saying this, I do not think from what you have said that the little girl is ready and would sit down with mum witha cuppa and just explain this. Say you appreciate that she would like to try the potty training but it is clear that from how many accidents the chhild has had she is not ready. It is not fair on you ar the child to continue while she is not ready as it is distressing for both parties.

Good luck. And let us know how you get on. Dont back down on this one. Tell the mum until she has been dry for a weekend with VERY minmal accidents you will have to used nappies

x

[anneriddington]

I agree with you on the pull ups front - it was really a better alternative that continual wetting

This little girl needs time, but I think she gets a bit lost in the madness at home.

[Spangles]

We bought some nappies called 'feel n learn', might have been Pampers. They can feel when they are wet so they get the idea but my son didn't care less about being wet so we've given up for a few more months!!!

You can also get ones where the pictures on the front fade when they are wet. Can someone please tell me what the heck the point of those are??? Unless they're running around only in nappies and staring at them all day how the heck are they supposed to work? Weird!

[yummymummy]

Ah poor you Anne, I have a 2 1/2 year old who is sent every day in pull ups and with a potty but she just does everything in the pull ups and only ever poos when she naps so I can't even catch that!
She is not ready yet and so defeats the whole point of pull up pants if anything it just makes it harder for me to change her as she always wears tights!
In my case the parents don't mind that she does everthing in the pull ups but I would definitely be speaking to them if like you she had accidents left right and centre. It will get to the stage where you'll never be able to take her anywhere!
potty training yet another of a childminders blessings!!!!!!:eek:

[Rubybubbles]

she's still very young only turning 2 in Dec and agree she probably ain't ready:rolleyes:

[ruby]

we tried before christmas to potty train one of ours but she just wet herself and carried on playing so we had a word with her parents and decided to try after christmas- have restarted this week
she is now asking to go but is still starting in her pants but this is an improvement and if you take her to the toilet she does wee
so we will carry on as she needs to be dry before starting nursery in april

i would really have a word with the mother its not fair on you or her daughter if she is not ready yet .

cathy

[anneriddington]

Thanks Cathy
by the way love your Rainbow Rabbit avavtar - are you a rainbow leader by any change?

[anneriddington]

oops just read my awful typing - sorry:blush:

[Heaven Scent]

I agree I think she is far too young they need to have the concentration to sit on the potty and wait and for that they need to be about 2.5. I thought that all nurseries and playgroups had to take children whether they are in nappies or not now. I'm sure that the woman who runs playgroup at my daughters school told me that.

Celine::( :(

[anneriddington]

Yes thats my understanding of playgroups. Our village one certainly takes children still in nappies.

There's no reason for S to be out of nappies other than mums wishes. Am certainly going to discuss it with her at home time

[anneriddington]

Mum has just picked up S. Explained to her how they day has gone. Her response was "Oh I'll stick a nappy back onher then":angry:

I do feel like Ive been used better me putting in the effort than mum!!

[sarah707]

Love your penguin Anne!

I always tell parents they must start the process at home first and have a child who is fairly reliable before they come back to me - I don't want my furnishings covered in wee! I don't mind the odd accident but a child who is not ready mustn't be rushed!

Get the woman told Anne! :D

[emmadines]

my little girl was 2 in jan and is potty training now, ONLY because she showed interest and she is doing fine! very few wet nickers and she hasnt soiled them either.
NOT every child is ready to start potty training at this age and this lil girllike you said does not seem ready! maybe the mother should go back to nappies for another month or so and start again!

good luck

[crazybones]

My son showed an interest last week so at the weekend we started to try. No luck - gave up - back in nappies. I am not pushing even though my other two were dry by now.

Annie x

[crazybones]

I want one of these :D

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=132001&e=detail&selcat=bgpty&pid=37511

Annie x

[Heaven Scent]

How cute
Celine

[anneriddington]

The fisher price potty looks great but how will I get it by my husband who already has to fight his way past the potty, training seat and double step to get to the downstairs toilet:laughing: :laughing:

[Tatia]

Mum has just picked up S. Explained to her how they day has gone. Her response was "Oh I'll stick a nappy back onher then"

I do feel like Ive been used better me putting in the effort than mum!!
Well, at least she didn't insist on carrying on so that's something, I suppose.

I'm writing a policy regarding potty training right now. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who only ever comes in pull-ups but is not the least bit interested in the toilet or the potty. I find the pull ups annoying because he's such a heavy wetter he is always wetting through his clothes (or my sheets at nap time) and she never brings spare clothes. I ask and he says no so I preempt and set him on the toilet (or potty) and he cries. I'm sensing there are major issues about it at home so I'm trying very hard not to push him too hard, bless.

I think my my policy will be a lot like Sarah's and that is a child has to be fairly reliable for me to take them in knickers. This means the bulk of the work is the parent's responsibilty and not mine! I don't mind backing them up and providing encouragement and support whilst they are training and I don't mind accidents when they are accidents and not regular occurances (which signals the child is not ready).

[anneriddington]

I completely agree Tatia, I don't have a potty training policy in place YET but and going to get one done this week. :idea:

[tulip0803]

When my daughter turned 2 there were several other little girls in the village the same age - One mum announced that her daughter was out of nappies so another thought that her daughter should be too. Both these girls WERE out of nappies at 2 but they were not potty trained I spent my entire day at work trailing a bucket and mop behind me as they just wet on the floor. This went on for over a year. I left mine until 2 and a half took a week of work and she was dry night and day within 3 days.

Why do parents think these things are a race and at 2 a switch flicks and the child is automatically ready? They think it is a race when there are others the same age and it really annoys me when they all keep comparing:angry:

Juliaxx

[crazybones]

When my daughter turned 2 there were several other little girls in the village the same age - One mum announced that her daughter was out of nappies so another thought that her daughter should be too. Both these girls WERE out of nappies at 2 but they were not potty trained I spent my entire day at work trailing a bucket and mop behind me as they just wet on the floor. This went on for over a year. I left mine until 2 and a half took a week of work and she was dry night and day within 3 days.

Why do parents think these things are a race and at 2 a switch flicks and the child is automatically ready? They think it is a race when there are others the same age and it really annoys me when they all keep comparing:angry:

Juliaxx

Well said :clapping: :clapping:

Annie x

[emmadines]

When my daughter turned 2 there were several other little girls in the village the same age - One mum announced that her daughter was out of nappies so another thought that her daughter should be too. Both these girls WERE out of nappies at 2 but they were not potty trained I spent my entire day at work trailing a bucket and mop behind me as they just wet on the floor. This went on for over a year. I left mine until 2 and a half took a week of work and she was dry night and day within 3 days.

Why do parents think these things are a race and at 2 a switch flicks and the child is automatically ready? They think it is a race when there are others the same age and it really annoys me when they all keep comparing:angry:

Juliaxx

if my 2 year old didnt show any interest then i wouldnt have started! its true what you say tho!! ppl do seem to treat it as a race!

i have a friend whos son was one day out of nappeis and when ever it was mentioned all I got was "he is dry both day and night"
I know its possible but this boy supposedly never wets himself (he was 2 in October) we all know kids have accidents! but the point is! its always my blar blar blar can do better just like the race to potty train, "my child was dry before yours!! back to the school yard we go!!


emma

[littletreasures]

I think it depends on what the child is like rather than the age.

My eldest daughter was dry both day and night at 22 months. It took 3 days.

My son was dry at 2 1/2.

My youngest decided at 20 months one afternoon to take her nappy off. No nappy she said and that was it day and night.

If the child is ready it won't take long to do. If she isn't you're fighting a losing battle and the little girl you mind doesn't seem ready at all.

I would discuss with Mum and perhaps suggest she could have a go over the long Easter weekend at home. That will give her 4 days and if she is ready she could be dry by the time she came back. I would personally say unless she has been dry at home for 4-5 days without any accidents I will put her in nappies, especially if you have school runs, toddler groups and things happening.

Good luck.
Jules

[jmoff]

According to my mum , she started puttin me on the potty when I was abt 7-8 mnths old...but that's in the Czech rep where kids are usually out of nappies by 1 1/2 during the day and by 2 at night as nappies are expensive and when I was small , they were pain to wash I suppose.

Not that I have started with my daughter aged 16mnths!

Anyway, it is a different story with childminders as we have more than one child in our care and I really dont want stains on my beige carpet.

Good lkuck with that one, hope the mum gets it

Jana x

[Hopscotch]

I spent a whole 2 weeks last month potty training 3 toddlers, my son and 2 of the mindees, it was because one of the mindees started using the toilet and my son wanted to use it too.
Well as soon as the other mum found out she was like oh well you can sit X on there and see if he will go on there.
So for 2 weeks i had them running round with pants on heating on high so they didn't get cold and 2 potty's and the toilet asking and asking if X wanted to sit on there and he did not want to.
Then i found out that they were not doing it at home so i thought why should i bother i'm putting all this hard work in having little one peeing everywhere and you can't even be bothered to continue it at home.
He was clearly not ready and i now don't ask him as i am not going to pressure him to go on there if he wants he will do it when he is good and ready.
Why is it that we are expected to do all the hard work for them?.
Bev X

[miffy]

God i really don't see the point in trying to potty train children who are just not ready - it's much easier to wait until they begin to show some signs themselves

and I think it's up to the parents to make the effort not me - and i don't call 2 hours on a sunday afternoon before bringing them to me on monday much of an effort!!!

I also prefer summer to winter for potty training :D

Miffy xx

[michellethegooner]

parents like this get on my back up. I would defo speak to mum like you did and explain child does not seem ready..

I had an experience similiar last year I had a little girl just turned 2yrs who did not understand when she needed to 'go' and would say yes if she was asked if she needed a wee and then do nothing. mum would send her to me in a nappy but not provide any. After a week I politely explained to mum that I would only 'assist' potty training and steered her towards my policy of working in partnership with parents explaining that we should be consisent and if she wanted to have her child potty trained she would have to do her bit at home. well you could have blown me away when she replied that 'oh no cos she just wees every where and she doesnt listen to me' famin cheek I politely told her that she was doing the same at mine and I would only re try once I was happy that her d understood what was happening.... and if she didnt provide me with nappies I would have no choice but to purchase some myself and invoice her soon cleared up problem...
was really annoyed though as it became obvious that this parent was only happy with me doing all the work. worst part was her d was only with me 3 days a wk I explained that us childminders dont have magic wands that we wave that get their kids dry in a matter of days..

Michelle x

[Annie_T]

id would of used pull up which encourage the child to pul them down to wee instead of doing it in the pull ups.

2 does seem bit early to be in pants, but its the mother choice i guess.

and as for only one pair jeans - think that was over looked?!?

put my girl in pull ups and slowly introduced pants .. and like magic we had a ickle girl nappy free lol

[lindylou]

My grandaughter came out of nappies at 20 months my daughter at 18 months bot my son was 2 and 2 months this little girl does not seem ready
Apparantly it is a valve and when it is mature enough the child is ready this is what i read in a chilcare book
You would be better of telling mum this google it and then you have info to give her i would not use pull ups they are a waste of time the little girl will think she has still got nappes on and carry on wetting ect
Good luck with the mum Linxxxx

[Pudding Girl]

Haven't read the other replies so forgive me if I am repeating something :)

I think you have to do what the parent wants, no matter if you think it is not the right time. It is up to them to decide when to do these things, and our job to do our bit whatever.

Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear!! :o

[emmadines]

id would of used pull up which encourage the child to pul them down to wee instead of doing it in the pull ups.

2 does seem bit early to be in pants, but its the mother choice i guess.

and as for only one pair jeans - think that was over looked?!?

put my girl in pull ups and slowly introduced pants .. and like magic we had a ickle girl nappy free lol

OMG I carry a small wardrobe with me for becky!! (thats waht it feels like!) not that we use them but if I only had one pair then I dould deff need another! sods law and all that!!!!!

[Cheeky Chops]

ooo a policy on potty training, argh!! I need one of these!!

I had a 2 yr old little boy whose mum just put him in pull ups and didnt tell me, when I came to change him he had leaked all out as the pullups were not as good as nappies, I was very annoyed I hadnt been told about this!! So i put him in pants and he pooed all over the floor! so then had to put him in nappies, then told mum about the day and she just shrugged and put him in pull ups again the next day without saying anything!! so yeah I need to get a policy on this!! hehe xx

[Sandie]

I want one, we could start a new game sing and wee :laughing: