Feel Sick

[Daddy Day Care]

90 Minutes untill my first meeting with a parent, and I feel Like I just wanna throw my guts up.

Is this a normal feeling for first time? does the feeling get better? am I just being stupid? Can Someone Shoot me pls? Can someone stop me jabbering on? can soemone give me vodka please? oh what if i like this when she turns up? I cant do this can I?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gareth
xx

[mummyroysof3]

Calm down you will be fine, ive never had a parent visit but this helped me when ofsted was coming, about 15 mins before they come get on the floor doing an activity with the kids then the first think they will see is you having fun playing with them not you running round like an idiot cleaning etc

good luck, let us know how you get on

charlotte x

[cabby]

deep breath and relax,

its a completely normal way to feel, and remember the parent will proberly be feeling just as bad:) hope it goes well, have my fingers crossed for you.x

oh and by the way..............................................Y ES YOU CAN DO IT.X

[margimum]

I'm sure you/ll be fine DDC , but please leave the vodka until AFTER they've been! :eek: :laughing:

[oldtimer]

Get a grip man !!!!!!!!

just be yourself, and tell the parent(s) how good you are.

Sell yourself, take control of the interview, you are in charge, you are a professional....

and good luck

[grindal]

Good luck - hope it all goes well

[LOOPYLISA]

I remember feeling like this at my pre reg , as soon as she walked through the door it was fine, honest, never had a parent visit, didnt get that far :laughing:

You will fine, chill have a cuppa x good luck :thumbsup:

[mama2three]

oh gareth youll be fine - i had major stage fright too. in fact i realised that after we had arranged the visit etc i hadnt actually given her my address! Im only starting out and hadnt got lots of things to show - just set up the toys like i would on a normal day , showed her round , chatted about lo. very relaxed. I just thought well if she says no then at least ive had some experience for next time. Good Luck. ( vodkas good , no smell! in fact stick a bit in her coffee and she'll be eating out of your hand! )let us know how great you did!

[venus89]

You'll be fine
I always feel sick the first meetings, the settling in, my first day with them. I'm hoping it's a sign of people wanting to do a good job?!

Good luck!

[Twinkle]

After ten years of minding, I still feel anxious on first visits but so many prospective parents have told me they are just as anxious too.

It doesn't matter how clean your house is, how well organised your paperwork is or how qualified you are. Most parents are looking for a warm, friendly, caring environment.

Just chill and be yourself, you have nothing to worry about :)

[Monkey1]

Good Luck Gareth!:thumbsup:

[cherry pink]

c'mon gareth pull yourself together, their's a good boy :laughing:

seriously hun we've all been there and felt like that (i get like it when i know ofsted are coming, even worse if it's a particular officer) and sometimes still do,take a deep breathe calm down, you know you're a great cm ..
think of some questions to ask the parent and everything will go great,,the probability is the parents are just as nervous as you especially if it's the first time they have left their little one....

let us know how you get on got fingers crossed for you,,,,if you get her/him does that mean we'll see you at the cm group mond mornings and sure start cm group on wedn morning ????

cherry pink xx

[Dottilicious]

Good Luck!

[pinklady]

Just be yourself and you can't go far wrong...let us know how you get on:thumbsup:

[CherryBlossom]

You will be alright, bet your nerves go as soon as they step through the door!

Good luck anyway, let us know how it goes :laughing:

[Gherkin]

deep breaths, it will never be as bad as you think. Make sure you have the paperwork to hand that you want to show prospective parents.


I always show them around first so that gives me a chance to jabber and then we sit down I go through my folder.

Good luck.

[Spangles]

Good luck, hope it all goes well!

The mum is probably just as nervous as you are, not knowing what to expect, being in someone else's home, not knowing what questions to ask, what you will need to know,....

I bet you'll be great!

[Daftbat]

You will be fine Gareth,

Think about all the great advice you have seen here and indeed contributed to!!!!!! Its normal to be nervous - and its also normal to find that it doesn't end up as nerve racking as you thought it would.:thumbsup:

[MissTinkerbell]

You'll be fine - calm down and all will be OK as soon as they walk through the door.

I was just the same and still am to a certain extent but as others have said the parents are usually just as anxious as we are.

Def save the vodka til afterwards though!!!!

Hope all goes well - fingers crossed for you DDC. x

[amirose]

Best of luck gareth :) Lets us know how it goes :thumbsup:

[Tam's Tribe]

Pull yourself towards yourself dude . . . nerves are good coz they keep you on your toes . . .

Just remember to be yourself, focus on the parent and childs needs and promote your USPs!!!!

I worry that I will just tell the parents too much (information overload :panic: ) so I now let the parent lead initially to establish what they want from the setting and then you hit them with all the positive answers.

You know your stuff, you are a dad so just RELAX and go get em boy!!!!!!!!


Good Luck!


Lovies
Tam

[angeldelight]

Well its almost time

hope you managed to calm down a little Gareth

Lots of good luck vibes coming your way

I am sure you will be fine

Angel xx

[haribo]

hope its going / gone well !

[balloon]

Hope it went ok/ is going ok!

The sick feeling is caused by adrenaline. It also makes you feel a bit wibbly and weird, lol! (More wibbly and weird than normal in my case, lol!)

You'll learn to use it to become super smiley and just plain perfect, lol! ;)

I always tell myself that I'm the boss and I'm interviewing them, it works wonders and makes me totally in control - possibly a bit late for you this time but in future...

[PixiePetal]

Parent will have been by the time you look on here after my message so hope all went well :) Waiting for your update.

I have one coming at 12.30, quick early lunch now for 4yr old mindee and away we go!:D

[daisyboo1980]

hi
hope it goes great for u :)
im waiting on a wee one for settling in today but mum just phoned to say they are running late im so nervous

u'll be grand be urself and believe in urself
fingers crossed :)

[TheBTeam]

Just seen this so guessing you are in the middle of it! Hope it went well, I am sure you really have nothing to worry about, you sound like you will do a fantastic job!

[little miss chatterbox]

sorry I'm a bit late too! good luck, hope it went well!

[It's a small world]

Good luck Gareth. Let us know how you get on. Sorry I didn't txt you good luck this morning..been a bit hectic..playgroup started today only just stopped.. Keep us posted on how it went.:thumbsup:

[helenlc]

Hope all is going well or went well.:thumbsup: You will be fine.

let us know ASAP!!!

[emler]

Hope it went well Gareth - where are you?? Need to have an update!

[sweets]

i hope the fact you havn't done an update means that the meeting is going really well and you are still chatting!

[Twinkles]

We need to know ! Hope it went well. :thumbsup:

[Daddy Day Care]

Thank you for all your messages of encouragment your all stars :)

How did it go,

Well she was due here at 11.30 and had to be somewhere else by 1.30 she was gonig to give her lo her dinner whilst she was here.

At 11.15 my phone went, it was a text from her, her lo was sleeping and she didnt want to wake her, she would text me when she woke up. So that certianly didnt help my nerves.

Didnt expect to hear form her after that, got another text a little after 12 shes just woke up and she would come now if that was ok with me, so i said of course.

She got here a little after 12.30, her lo was soooo adorable, and mum did seem really nice. She spent the whole of 2 mins looking at my portfolio whilst lo played on floor.

She asked if she could feed lo and by the time that was done it was time for her to leave :(. So didnt really feel like she was here at all.

She hasnt actually got a job yet has applied for 2, and she think she stands a good chance with both of them. She said i was on a shortlist of 2 possible mindees. But when she left she wished me well with the birth of my nxt child which isnt till end of october so that tells me i wont here from her again :(.

Dont know what to think of the whole experience, didnt feel like I was meeting with a possible client, she didnt even have time to look around the house, and I only spent four hours donig the garden yesterday grrr lol

Before the meeting I thoguht if she said no at least id have the experience of meeting a parent for the first time so there would be soemthing possitive to come from it, but dont think I can from our 5 minute chat.

Anyway you never know she may get in touch

Thanks again for your messages

Gareth
xx

[sue m]

Hi Gareth,

Sorry I couldn't send good luck wishes earlier, I had a little mindee here for his 2nd settling in session. Don't worry too much, when his Mum and Dad came to visit me the first time they said they had other minders to see and a nursery and I honestly got the feeling I wouldn't hear from them again too but I did and he starts next week. What will be will be as they say but even after many years of doing this job, I still always think oh I didn't get that one :( Good luck, hope you get the little one. x

[grindal]

You never know, people make their childcare decisions on a lot of different factors, and someone may be far more interested in your interactions with their LO, than the state of your house and garden or your portfolio! As for not hearing from them again, if I dont hear from people who have come to look round my setting i phone them, as I think it is rude and quite insulting not to let somebody know. Good luck whatever happens

[helenlc]

At least its out the way now.

It may just have been bad timing on her behalf about how brief she was. I have had some come for an hour, others in and out in 10 minutes!

Try not to be too disheartened and you might be reading to much into her wishing you well for your baby being born. She was probably just being polite and passing comment.

You are on her short list - at least she didnt say you were one of half a dozen.

Stay positive - at least you havent got to do the garden for a while!!!:laughing: :laughing:

[mrs c]

Its a nerve wracking time meeting new parents. I always make the first visit a no obligation chat and I find this helps me feel less stressed about it all. All parents who have visited have got back to me - if they don't then consider yourself lucky as you wouldn't want to work with someone like that. Good Luck!

[PixiePetal]

Well done, you have shown you are adaptable by having her at a different time, a shortlist of 2 is fine, most parents will visit a few minders before making a decision.

Hope you hear from her again soon, fingers crossed. :) Make sure you let us lot know. :D


My parent and possible mindee have just left. All went well, she had no idea what to ask but was really honest and I felt we could get on great - LO was adorable :)
It's only for 1 day a week but might lead to another day in the future if she gets a job (college for that day)

Coming Saturday with her husband so he can meet me. Looks like a YES then!

[aly]

omg you sound like me when parents come around...I still get it now.

sorry it didnt go your way,you never know you may get that call.

x

[The Juggler]

fingers crossed for you

LOL

[Daddy Day Care]

She asked for my e-mail address before she left cant help but feel thats so she can let me down by e-mail as its the easy way out.

Yup showed I was adaptable pixie, also when she first arrnaged the visit she said she wud come at 11.30 and then go town to feed lo and then on to her appointment, I told her she was more than welcome to feed lil one here rather than in town. so hopnig that gesture earend me brownie points as well.

Grindal the lo did take to me straihght away, she wudnt eat her dinner she was to interested in looking at me and waving :)

Helen never donig the gadren again think its time I found a gardener, god i hate gardening

Gareth
xx

[It's a small world]

Sorry your experience was not a good one....but at least you got the garden done (sorry tying to make you smile) Things wioll pick up I promise .. have you started back at any playgroups? do you go to a childminding playgroup? I went back to ours today after school hols and got told one of the childmoinders had passed my details onto some one and should be getting a call. Downside think its 2 children and want thur...already have 3 so have to get a variation (not sure about 5 under 5) if one then will have a look....

Fingers crossed something will happen now everyone back at school.

Speak soon and keep smiling ....we will have to meet up again soon now Aimee has a new car...:)

[PixiePetal]

never donig the gadren again think its time I found a gardener, god i hate gardening

Gareth
xx


Oh dear, thought you must like it :laughing: ! I thought you could come over and sort my garden out. DH mows with the ride on mower and thinks that is it!!:rolleyes:

I am trying to find the brick path around the house (it's under the weeds and grass somewhere!) House has been empty for nearly 3 years, since MIL passed away, and until we moved in a month ago.

[Twinkles]

Remember no experience is ever wasted. You have that interview under your belt now and you will have more confidence for the next one.

I don't think you can always judge by the length of the interview as to whether or not they will use you. I've had people here for 10 mins who then go on to want the place.

[FussyElmo]

DDC have a bit of positive thinking please. The fact that the woman wished you well on the birth of you child shows she has good manners. If she says no you have not lost anything but at least you have had someone through the door.

As for the garden either keep on top of it or do what mu dh does blames the weather "its been to wet to mow"!!!

[misst104]

Hi there Gareth. I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back that you have now done your first interview! like everyone else said its all good experience and I'll also keep fingers crossed that she gets back to you.

xxx jo

[SandCastles]

Sorry I didn't offer any advice before your meeting, I wasn't logged on (the shame :blush: )
The first is always the hardest, but for me, the most finger nail biting was when Mrs Ofsted visited, I cleaned until everything shone (even the lo faces glowed) I was so nervous
Take today as a trial run for your next appointment.

[uf353432]

When I was looking for childcare for my 5.5mth first born child (now nearly 4) and was still in the womb at this stage, I knew within 2 mins that Sarah was the right person. I politely looked through her portfolio and asked questions - but to be honest I didn't need to as I 'knew' she was perfect. Women (mainly) are very instinctive so don't assume you are out of the running.

At best you have a new mindee, at worst you are no longer a virgin to meeting the parents - its a win win situation :)

[Daddy Day Care]

DDC have a bit of positive thinking please. The fact that the woman wished you well on the birth of you child shows she has good manners. If she says no you have not lost anything but at least you have had someone through the door.

As for the garden either keep on top of it or do what mu dh does blames the weather "its been to wet to mow"!!!

Yeah no complaint about her manners as i think i said she was lovely (a little drunk now so pls exscuse) and her lo was so adorable, wish I had mre time with them but never mind

cus ive had a drink tonight been wanting to text her all night but been good and havent, dnt really know where im gonig with this message tho so ikll end it here and just say sorry and i love u all

gARETH

[ORKSIE]

Sorry gareth, only just seen this. Hope it goes right for you! Sorry, Blame my DD talking to her BF on MSN!!!! Sending lots of positive Vibes:thumbsup:

[Cazz]

Only just got on here for the first time today/yesterday!

I know how disappointed you must be feeling if you think she isn't going to sign but you don't know that for sure yet so keep feeling positive!

Don't know if you remember, I had a similar experience about a month ago and they didn't sign but I'm treating it as a learning experience and don't think I'll be nearly as nervous next time (hopefully!) and waffle on so much - MOI?!!! :laughing: I actually think it was for the best now as I can potentially take more mindees on rather than blocking all 5 days for this shift worker.

As I say you don't know for sure that she won't sign, so chin up mate :D

[Daddy Day Care]

Well I just had an e-mail of her, shes not chose me, I know I was expecting it but still feel really gutted :( :( :( :( :( :(

Gareth
xx

[balijay]

Ah Gareth what a shame - I still had my fingers crossed for you! Not too worry tho, the perfect family may come along this week, so chin up. I know how you feel, I am still awaiting that 1st elusive mindee..no call yet! x :)

[Tatjana]

Ah, sorry she didn't choose you. Next one will be yours!

xx

[Cazz]

I know how you're feeling but don't get disheartened. I'm sure someone else will come along soon.

[Daddy Day Care]

I know how you're feeling but don't get disheartened. I'm sure someone else will come along soon.

Waited 3 months for this one to come, cant afford to wait another 3 months :(, if nothing by newyear think ima hav to look at getting a diff job :(

[miffy]

Aaawww Gareth I'm sorry - missed the original thread - shame it didn't go your way.

Hope something else comes along soon

Miffy xx

[Roseolivia]

Sorry to hear she's decided against using you as a minder. That first interview is always the hardest especially if you get knocked back. At least she had the decency to let you know, i've had people either not turn up for visit or just not let me know their decision afterwards. Keep your chin up i'm sure something will come along. Are you attending childminder playgroups to get to meet other minders as i find other minders will pass your name along to people. Good luck

[brightstar]

Don't give up hope Gareth, it took me 7 months to get started, then my tribe of 5 came along. I feel so lucky to mind for this family because this mum thinks so much of me that she travels an extra 45 minutes twice a day to bring her children to me. She says that she went on instinct, her children immediately felt at home in my house so she knew i was right for her family. Shes also recommended me to friend and i'll soon be taking on another baby, so don't give up hope, it happens eventually.

[balijay]

Waited 3 months for this one to come, cant afford to wait another 3 months :(, if nothing by newyear think ima hav to look at getting a diff job :(

Just a thought Gareth - what I have done while waiting to started with childminding is take on a bank contract as a support worker to keep some money coming in. As its a bank contract I can have as many or as little hours as I need and I intend to keep it on once I get some mindees. Is something like this worth considering? :)

[Daddy Day Care]

Sorry to hear she's decided against using you as a minder. That first interview is always the hardest especially if you get knocked back. At least she had the decency to let you know, i've had people either not turn up for visit or just not let me know their decision afterwards. Keep your chin up i'm sure something will come along. Are you attending childminder playgroups to get to meet other minders as i find other minders will pass your name along to people. Good luck

Ive been to some childminding groups, but feel a little silly being there with no mindees, but i do know most of the minders that go to these groups and i do see them at regular tots groups during the week when childminding ones arent on. Ive also given them a copy of my business card amd they have said they would pass on any enquiries that they cant do.

[TheBTeam]

The best thing you can do is to keep going to the childminding groups, i went for 9 months with just my dd while i was waiting to fill vacancies as a childminder, the networking really helped, kept up my knowledge and enthusiasm, and helped pass on enquiries, and gave you a group of friends to cheer you up.

I took around 9 months to get my first vacancies filled and then they came along 3 at a time! I have found since that i seem to lose a few together and then gain a few together, but all in all I have got by okay, just slow to start.

Try and remain positive, it would be such a shame if you gave up, you sound like you will make a fantastic minder, and more and more men are making this work, someone ideal for you will come along, hopefully very soon.

Sending good vibes for you, we are full pretty much now, so if i hear of someone working your way or up for a long hours commute, i will pass them your way!!:laughing:

Make sure you keep advertising in playgroups, community centres and updating your information with the Family information service to keep your name high up their list.

[balloon]

Sorry you didn't get this one, very disappointing when they don't choose you but there's always the next one.

Is there a single parents club near you? May be worth advertising there if so, and push the fact that you're a positive male role model. Single mums whose children have no contact with their fathers may be glad of that... (so may nay mums for that matter.)

Keep you chin up, you never know what's around the corner. :)

[ORKSIE]

Sorry this one didnt work out, look forward to the next time:thumbsup:
I had someone come to see me last week, gorgeouse little girl...Havnt heard a dickie bird, so see, it happens to us all.
Sending you a mahooosive <<<<Hug>>>>>
Think positive:)

[Mollymop]

Keep your chin up Gareth, there'll be more parents out there for you, it is disheartening but it happens to all of us at some point. sending you "enquiry vibes"! Hope the phone rings for you soon!

[Daddy Day Care]

Thanks for the encouragment ladies, and for all the good vibes, been feeling really down about it all today.

I did e-mail her back and thanked her for letting me know, and asked if there was any particular reason why she didnt choose me, just so I could do my best to improove things for the next time i meet with a parent heres what she said.

Hi Gareth,


It wasn't anything in particular but when I came to see you, I'd already been to see ***** (the lady I chose) and I got a really good feeling from her. My visit to you was fine - you didn't do anything wrong at all - I just didn't get a feeling like I did with *****. I realise that's not particularly helpful to you but it is the truth. My friends all said, when you find the right one, you'll just know and I was pretty sure with ***** but I had to see someone else, just to be sure. I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that!


I know it must be hard to get started but I'm sure you will get some business soon. I'll say again, you came across fine! You asked me if I had questions, you played with ***, you had your folder ready. Not a lot more you can do. Maybe have a list in there of what groups you go to? I think I told you about rhyme time? It would be good to find out exactly what's on offer so you can tell parents where there wee ones will be going when they're with you. Just a thought.

Again, best of luck!

So now I need to know why she didnt have that feeling with me :(

Suppose it wouldnt be the best time to start with baby due in 4 weeks, I so need to get drunk, havent been drunk since staurday lol

Gareth
xx

[Cazz]

Well I think that is a really nice, honest reply and you should take the positives from it (there were plenty of compliments) - in fact there weren't really any negatives!!

I know she said she didn't have "the feeling" like she did with the other minder but in my opinion I wouldn't contact her and ask her why - she probably won't be able to give you the answer and you don't want to come across as too desperate (you never know she may come back to you if it doesn't work out with the other minder). I assume she visited the other minder first so she had probably already made her mind up before she even stepped through your door!

Don't get disheartened. As you know I've been through a similar thing but I feel that I won't be so nervous about my next parent meeting now and am treating that first one as a practice run! I actually think that it was for the best that I didn't get that family and as you say you've got your new baby arriving in the next few weeks so maybe it wasn't meant to be for you this time either.

You know how many times on here people say they've had no enquiries and then all of a sudden they're inundated! I'm still waiting but am very hopeful :D

Hope you enjoyed your drinks!!