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View Full Version : when to tell potential new parents your are pregnant?



mozarella
03-09-2009, 07:04 PM
Hi


Well I am just over 9 weeks pregnant, i had a potential family who came this evening and I think it went pretty well and if all good they would want me to start begining of october.

I really need extra work but I am worried if i tell them i am pregnant they will go with someone else but if I dont tell them then it will look pretty bad

what would you do?

Moz

FussyElmo
03-09-2009, 07:19 PM
I told my parents after 12 week scan!!

I would personally be honest with them think it sets out a better relationship.

carebear25
03-09-2009, 07:29 PM
Im stuck with this 2, im 6wks pregnant an my mindee signed before i found out i was pregnant (even thou we had been ttc) ive not started collectin mindee from school yet 1st day on tuesday but i feel awful ive not told her an given her the option 2 find an alternative cm, I know i can manage and it is only for 12 mths x

Bitsy Beans
03-09-2009, 07:30 PM
Be upfront about it otherwise I think it will damage your relationship. At the end of the day are you likely to have a full years maternity leave or just a couple of months? Depending on what your plans are they might be happy to find temporary arrangement until you are back working again.

The Juggler
03-09-2009, 07:37 PM
I would say it depends how long you want off.

I had a CM myself and she told us both times when she was 12 weeks (only a year apart and neither planned - think she was more shocked than I was!). She said she wasn't taking long off and I had no problem. Had she told me she was taking 9 months I might have decided to move the children.

Anyway she only took 2 weeks off but she only had my two so felt she could cope. TBH, I'm not sure I would have been able to but she was amazing. TBH if I was a mum just signing up, I'd like to know. I think it's different if the parents have been with you a while already. It has to be the best decision for her LO too.

Sorry if not what you wanted to hear. Depending on how long you want off, she might go with the flow anyway, or if she doesn't you might pick up some temp work you never know.

Anyway, congratulations! Are you pleased?

LOL

mozarella
03-09-2009, 08:38 PM
Thanks for the replies and TBH i think i couldnt hide it and would feel to bad to tell them once the contract is signed. If it was my child I would have wanted to know.

I am not sure how much time off i will take yet but dont think it would be a year but probably 2 or 3 months but if I have too I would take less.

Jugler: Yes I am really pleased, it happened a bit earlier that we wanted, we wanted to try for baby number two from september especially for this reason to sign on more mindees before, but it happened earlier and I am happy now after the initial shock lol

Moz

carebear25
03-09-2009, 08:50 PM
Im stuck with this 2, im 6wks pregnant an my mindee signed before i found out i was pregnant (even thou we had been ttc) ive not started collectin mindee from school yet 1st day on tuesday but i feel awful ive not told her an given her the option 2 find an alternative cm, I know i can manage and it is only for 12 mths x

I wasnt clear I ment the contract is only 4 12 months, collection from school an school holidays. My baby is due end of April an I dont plan on takin 2 long off as long as all ok with labour an im ok afta. I wil speak 2 her next week an see what she says.

Spangles
03-09-2009, 09:01 PM
I would be straight up with it as well.

I had been looking after my full-timer for 7 months when I got pregnant and they knew the end of the contract was coming in a couple of months anyway as we were being posted so our situation was very different. I did tell them when I was about 4 weeks pregnant though (although I thought I was actually further along at the time) as I was so ill and knew I was likely to suffer with hyperemesis again so wanted to warn them incase they thought I had some dreadful illness!

I would be really annoyed if a CM told me after I'd signed contracts and I knew she must have known before. I would want someone to be honest with me and let me make the decision for myself according to my circumstances and what's best for my child.

I think you're doing the right thing and I hope that they are able to work round your maternity leave.

carebear25
03-09-2009, 09:11 PM
when we signed contract i wasnt pregnant x

I feel worse now than i did x

FussyElmo
04-09-2009, 06:31 AM
when we signed contract i wasnt pregnant x

I feel worse now than i did x

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Its one of those things and if it was the other way round they would decide on the best time to tell you.

Personally im superstitous (sp) so never tell anyone till Im at least 12 weeks.

The Juggler
04-09-2009, 06:36 AM
don't feel guilty. If you didn't know when they signed then you've nothing to feel bad about. And I wouldn't tell until I was 12 weeks normally for reasons just given.

xx

Roseolivia
04-09-2009, 06:54 AM
A lot of women don't want to say anything till the first scan and they're given the ok. Do you not think that's more important than being honest with new parents? What if you haven't told any of your family, do you really want to be telling people you hardly know?

CherryBlossom
04-09-2009, 09:35 AM
Congratulations!

I would personally wait until 12 weeks/first scan..I know a few of my friends who found out recently didn't even tell Family until then.

x

Louise_Oaktree
07-09-2009, 08:40 PM
Firstly congratulations!

I'm going to disagree with most on here...I would wait. I kept it from my parents even though I had the same dilemma as I had taken on a newbie a few weeks ago when I was 9 weeks pregnant with twins (didn't know it was twins at the time). Unfortunately I lost the babies shortly after and we are just trying again now so I am glad I did what I did and took the child on, at the time I felt really bad but now I am glad.

I'm not saying anything will happen but until you are further on you really don't know what the future holds - even if like me you are planning on taking several months off, when baby comes I might end up with just a couple of weeks if my financial situation changes.

Parents shouldn't think anything of you "hiding" it - most people wait until end of first trimester before telling people.

loocyloo
07-09-2009, 09:17 PM
i was just about 12 weeks, when i interviewed a mum for a LO, 2 afternoons a week, just for one school term.

i told mum i was pregnant, but she was happy to sign up, as it was only for that term, and added it to the contract.

come the end of term ( christmas ) she asked if i could possibly do another term? i said i could, and that i aimed to work till the end of term, but i might not make it ( had had bed rest with previous pregnancy ) and WOULD NOT BE WORKING THE FOLLOWING TERM (and why!)
''oh, i didn't know you were pregnant, i just thought you were cuddly'' :eek:

bless her! she didn't live on the same planet as the rest of us! :D

carebear25
08-09-2009, 09:41 PM
I decided 2 tell mum as few people know an u Neva know who knows who plus if I were talkin bout it in front of mindee who's nearly 5 he cud say sumthin. She is ok bout it an doesn't c it as a problem x

Mouse
08-09-2009, 10:13 PM
I took on a new mindee knowing that I was 6 weeks pregnant with my 4th son. We hadn't told anyone & I didn't want to tell the new mindees parents that early. I knew I wouldn't be taking long off work & I knew I could arrange alternative cover for the time I was off.

When I did tell them (at about 20 weeks), they were fine about it. In fact the mum was really excited for me! I took 3 months off as I was ill after the birth, but mindee was happy going to the other minder for that time.

zippy
09-09-2009, 04:28 PM
i didnt tell mine till four and a half months