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View Full Version : Separation Anxiety?



Louise_Oaktree
03-09-2009, 01:28 PM
I have a 1 year old mindee who has been coming for 3 weeks.

The settling in was difficult as he had never been left and for all of the short settling in sessions he cried.

The first week he cried on and off but was fine when held or sat with me. Third week he is brilliant and plays all day with the others but he still gets upset when Mum leaves and will continue to cry until I put him down for his nap at 9am.

I have started bringing his nap forward to just after he arrives (he doesn't sleep well at night so is always tired first thing) as once awake again he is super and this has worked but I'm out of ideas on how to try and eliminate the unsettled period between Mum going and having the nap as although it is better out of the way early morning I don't think I am dealing with the actual issue.

As a parent I think the problem has been created by his parents. I know it's a strong thing to say but he is last of 3 children and only boy - Mum had 3 sections so no more babies. She is still breastfeeding at 1 year (no issues with this in itself) but baby sleeps in bed with Mum and Dad. He goes to bed when they do and wakes up to 10 times each night crying.

From what I can tell he acts emotionally like a 4 month old baby - cat napping and waking regularly for feeds...he isn't eating much solids and I feel he relies on Mum for food.

I know it's none of my business how parents do things that work for them but does anyone have any ideas on how I should deal with the crying? Although it's now only 1/2-1 hour each morning I still feel as though I'm not coping with it well. As a parent with my own child we left him to cry in his own cot and had him sleeping through at 6 weeks so this is all new to me :blush:

I know I can't just leave him to cry but if I am honest this is what I would do if he was mine :eek: I think he has parents just where he wants them....Dad said he had to hold him whilst going to the toilet the other morning because everytime he put him down he cried :eek:

Do you think he'll get used to my ways? Or do you think I am being too mean with him? I am sure ignoring some of the crying has led to our pleasant afternoons...maybe I am wanting too much too soon...

gegele
03-09-2009, 02:17 PM
sometimes you need to be mean to be kind!

sarah707
03-09-2009, 06:49 PM
Do you think he'll get used to my ways? Or do you think I am being too mean with him? I am sure ignoring some of the crying has led to our pleasant afternoons...maybe I am wanting too much too soon...

I think if it's working for you then it's got to be good! :D

angeldelight
23-03-2011, 09:12 AM
I think you should continue with what you are doing with him

Hope it works out

Angel xx

JCrakers
23-03-2011, 11:00 AM
I think you should continue with what works for you. I had a crying baby for 8weeks and gave up in the end. I wouldnt carry her all day and this is what she wanted but I believe its not good for a child to be held all day so I didnt do it. I got slated on here for putting her in a buggy to cry (for sanity) but its just how I coped after listening to 8hrs of screaming. I wasnt being cruel, wasnt abusing the child but just giving myself a bit of time out before I went crazy. She was fine but just needed to be left for a while.

I was the same with my two children at night. They both slept through from 6weeks old as I didnt allow them in my bed from that time onwards. I am not very good when Im tired and just couldnt cope in the day if I had been up all night swapping beds etc.:angry: I know Mums who get up constantly and all swap beds throughout hte night which I feel is absolutely insane but each to their own. :D

I feel once he knows how things go at your house, he'll settle in fine. Keep going :D Cant believe he took him to the toilet......:eek:
becky x