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newandlearning
02-09-2009, 09:06 PM
hi.. I'm still feeling down and fedup with this childminding situation ..

I asked the 'mum' if she felt her son was happy coming to me and wondered if part of this change in behaviour could be down to him not enjoying himself here.. I said that I felt that possibly part of it was him trying to redefine himself in a bigger summer group structure.. and that possibly when everyone was back at school his behaviour would improve :(

She asked me if I wanted to give it a month and then review it and if I felt things weren't improving then she could always put him back in the nursery. I said that I felt that this was a good idea and was happy to speak with her again in a month's time to review and hopefully update with more positive news.

I hate in a way that we've decided to give it a month with possibility to end the contract; I'm not a defeatist. Possibly I need to re-evaluate when I do certain things in my day .. like cook dinner ... so that I'm there for them more at a time of day when everyone's sort of tired. Everything feels a bit up in the air now in a funny way.. hmmm!!

I don't know why but there is a part of me that feels lost with all of this. my gut feels like its already given up with this LO .. maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised :huh:

The mum said that no-one else who looks after him has had half the :censored: I have... to be honest that doesn't spur me on much :(

Tinglesnark
02-09-2009, 09:55 PM
ooooh i dont know the background cos ive been ofline for a few weeks but i really hope that u can find a way to work through it...sometimes though, things arent meant to be so dont be too hard on urself. all u can do is ur best x

uf353432
02-09-2009, 10:07 PM
I find that my kids have a witching hour starting at around 4pm - which is generally when I plan to start cooking dinner. Is he of an age where he can help you? alternatively you could cook dinner the night before for the next night and then you are only having to reheat.

Do you have things that he is specifically interested in playing with? has his tastes changed? doe he need more of a challenge? could you give him more responsibility in exchange for reward?

Another thing to look at is is he going through big developmental or growth changes? this could effect mood, especially if sleep is disturbed. He could be more hungry or need more sleep. He might not understand himself why he feels angry or want to act out in a negative way.

Don't feel bad yourself - no child comes with guide manual with a lovely troubleshooting guide to quickly work out how to fix them - its all trial and error.

One thing I do know - my own children can be right monsters with me - like seriously horrible. I take comfort that they feel comfortable within our relationship that their worst traits can be displayed - but that I still love them regardless. Perhaps your mindee feels very comfortable with you - that he feels able to show this side of his personality - its not great right now - but it has potential to be very good when this phase has past by.

Hang in there, but when all said and done - no point doing a job and not enjoying it - you need to have a happy balance in life.

newandlearning
03-09-2009, 06:59 AM
Thank you uf353432 for your reply.. I agree about maybe he feels comfortable enough here and that's why this happens.. my own 4yo has grown out of this phase but maybe part of his behaviour is a mimic of your own 4 yo.. when I've had other cm's mindees here to play in past he's not always wanted to play and share things.. in his lil world the toys are his... today when he starts having a tantrum I may well try screaming back and see what happens.. maybe he stops?:huh:

Ripeberry
03-09-2009, 08:43 AM
I wouldn't scream back, but do something really unexpected like fall on the floor on your bum or jump up and down. If he stops straight away then you know that he can control his emotions and is using tantrums as a weapon.
He will know then that you have sussed him out :p
If he does carry on, then it is all about being very tired and needing proper rest.

newandlearning
03-09-2009, 08:48 AM
hi.. good idea.. maybe I'll try do some star jumps :laughing: ... if nothing else I will get fit.:)