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View Full Version : Dont know what to do! Please someone help me to keep sane!



Tippy Toes
02-09-2009, 01:11 PM
Hi All

Really need some words of wisdom and maybe a point in the right direction.

I look after a 10 month old girl and she crys most of the day from 7.30am till 4.30pm! She is a lovely little girl but crys all the time...I have only been having her a couple of weeks so far as settling in periods but the last two days have been the start of the contract and I really need some advice.

It is upsetting the other babies I have in my care, one being a 5 month old mindee and the other being my 20 month old daughter. It upsets them to see her crying and then they start too!

Anyone been in similar prediciment? How did it work out?

Thank :)

Tinglesnark
02-09-2009, 01:13 PM
oooh no advice for you but didnt want to read and run. i do hope that someone can offer you some advice! good luck! im sure they will all settle soon x

misst104
02-09-2009, 01:14 PM
Oh dear. You poor thing! I don't really have any advice but will be interested in hearing some as I have had two sisters here this morning for their last settling in before start next week and the 9 month old did the same thing. Screamed and screamed hysterically!!! OMG I am not looking forward to next week!

Hope that it calms down soon and someone has some words of wisdom for you (us!!)

xxx jo

Hebs
02-09-2009, 01:14 PM
don't think i'd want to care for 2 babies under a year old :panic:

Polly2
02-09-2009, 01:17 PM
Hang in there...thats a difficult age. I had a little girl like that and it took a good couple of months before she settled now she just comes straight in with no tears at all.

I used my sling to calm her - she ended up being in it most of the day! It worked a treat.

Hope she settles soon x

Rubybubbles
02-09-2009, 02:22 PM
:panic:

I have just turned down a baby 2 days a week 8-1 as it clashed with another baby signing 7-2! one being 11 months the other 12 months, too much and I couldn;t give the attention needed

sorry not what you want to hear! but 3 under 20 months will always be hard work!

mabel
02-09-2009, 02:29 PM
please keep going...................

I have had lots of babies in 15 years and I don't know why but by week 4 they just seem to settle, I know it seems like really hard work but keep going the baby will soon settle

Tippy Toes
02-09-2009, 02:32 PM
please keep going...................

I have had lots of babies in 15 years and I don't know why but by week 4 they just seem to settle, I know it seems like really hard work but keep going the baby will soon settle

Thanks Mabel x Your words are encoraging x :)

Daftbat
02-09-2009, 04:09 PM
I am sure that things will settle down. Two days can seem like two weeks when its hard going but i would hang in there. You are both still getting to know one another and it would be surprising if there were no teething troubles, as it were!

Keep trying different hings and you will find out what works - try to get out and about too as i often find it distracts babies to hear different sounds etc, and it will keep you sane to have something else to look at.

Hebs
02-09-2009, 04:11 PM
as a newly registered minder was it easy to get a variation from ofsted to have 2 under 1 year olds??

Bitsy Beans
02-09-2009, 05:35 PM
I assume mum is leaving her with all her comforters? Can she leave you with something with her smell on, like a cardigan or something. Baby might be missing mum's smell.
Otherwise any chance she could be teething?

sarah707
02-09-2009, 05:52 PM
After having cared for a number of screamers I can honestly say that sometimes it gets better and sometimes it lasts for weeks and weeks.

it's down to your tolerance level and how much your family are happy to listen to at the end of the day.

If the child is otherwise happy then I'd say carry on they will settle one day.

Otherwise the child might be better off in a different environment.

Good luck! :D

FizzysFriends
02-09-2009, 06:08 PM
I will be following this thread with interest, I have just started with a baby and she cries most of the time. She has never been away from mom and mom is finding it hard so hangs around lots.

madasahatter
02-09-2009, 08:45 PM
I can't add anything to what others have said. Just hope she settles eventually. I personally think 9 months to approx 14 months is the worst age for a baby to go to a new carer. Outside of the this age bracket I have generally found that children settle really quickly.
A few years ago I took on a friends grandaughter who was 9 months at the time (parent had had a bad experience with her first childminder). She was a really clingy screamer for nearly 3 months and I was more or less at the point of saying that despite being a friend of the family I wasn't the right person to care for the child as they still hadn't settled, when suddenly everything changed and the child was as happy as larry.
Since then all the babies I've had have been siblings of older mindees and I have insisted that parents start sending them for at least 1 half day a week from being 6 months old (paid of course!) and this has worked incredibly well.

You have my sympathies and best wishes because screamers are very draining

newandlearning
02-09-2009, 09:14 PM
I hope it settles for you.. I think I carried my own LO around alot at the age..
maybe a sling would help as then the LO would get to hear your heart..

tashaleee
02-09-2009, 09:51 PM
I have had several screamers over the years and yes, it does get better. Only thing is I have no idea when! As said previously, its down to tolerance and how much you can cope with. Sometimes it has taken a week or two, others its taken longer. I have a 2 year old that I only have occasionally - maybe 2 days a month, maybe 6 (been having her for about 14 months now). Even now (and yes she can talk) she is only happy in my home or going out for a walk in the buggy - she doesnt do crowds/groups with me or mummy or anyone else. Its just a case of finding what works for you with your screamers and how to settle them. Sometimes Ive found Ive sat down with them sat on me (but not whilst screaming for hours), or ive carried them lots, or we have gone out for lots of walks, or to parks or toddler groups - its just a case of finding where and what works (they are all so different).

I guess what Im saying is if you can cope, hang in there and in time there is no reason why things wont improve.... :thumbsup:

claireLouise
02-09-2009, 10:10 PM
Wow 3 under 2 years of age, how brave. My youngest mindee is strange with nearly everyone you need to be firm but caring. Also see how parents cope at home and develop a working partnership/strategy with the parents. My wee one now has more good days than bad and never wants to go home. She ideally would like 100% of my attention!

Best wishes

LeeAnn
02-09-2009, 10:21 PM
hugehugs to you, it is difficult when they are upset. I did childminding around 6 years ago and I had a LO who screamed all the time. I gave it 4 weeks and in the end gave Mum 4 weeks notice, so all in I had him for just over 8 weeks and he screamed every day he was here. 4 days a week 9am - 6pm. He was also quite miserable at home unless he was breast feeding. So I think he may just have been a grumpy baby.
I would say wait it out til week 4 see if it improves and then make a plan. But be honest with Mum, work together, maybe she has some tricks she uses if Lo is feeling upset. Is there a favourite toy? Some music as a distraction? Does she like going out in the buggy for a walk?

good luck,