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View Full Version : how to settle own LO in school and take mindee



newandlearning
02-09-2009, 07:08 AM
I'm beginning to feel really tense about the beginning of my day.. I'm just not up for more roaring etc. am going to try to deal with things differently today but am actually feeling bruised.. was up till nearly 1am worrying about what to do with my mindee.. sole wage earner.

next week my own LO starts school for first time.. I don't want to take mindee with me.. I don't want mindee saying I wanna go play, saying I've got this toy at home, look at me!! or having a tantrum when he can't take his dummy/comfy blanket etc. and taking all the attention away from my own LO and his settling in.

do you think its ok to ask mum to drop off after school till half term so I can give my own LO attention ??

up until the summer the mindee was getting here at 9.15am most days anyway.. I just don't think I'm up for taking a my 2yo, mindee 3yo and my 4yo to school each day.. all going into class in necessary etc... think I need to broach this morn xx

Pipsqueak
02-09-2009, 07:11 AM
I think you owe it to your own child to do whats right and if thats not taking mindee with you and making alternative arrangements with that parent then so be it.

I have taken that day of so I can get my own son settled into school - my son comes first and he deserves that bit of mummy time as well. I don't work Tuesdays anyway so he is getting 2 days of my attention so by the Wednesday I have given it my all!

Its a big day for you as well

CCJD
02-09-2009, 07:24 AM
And here lies the biggest downfall of childminding - the guilt at having to share your attention (and with a difficult mindee that share is very seldom equal).

I would ask mum and see what she says, even if she can only manage a week, that would be better than nothing. Dont stress about it though - looking back your child will just appreciate that you were there.

Different schools handle settling in differently - my son's infant school always wanted us to go into the classroom with your child and settle him in right up to year 2 (so in I would go with babies in arms and children holiding hands) but with my daughter's infant school, after the first day we were glared at by the headmistress for walking past the playground gate and even towards the classrooms!!

I think we can all feel that emotional "tug" you are feeling now - where you are feeling that minding is not serving your child well -we've all been there - but remember the bigger picture - there will be a million times that your child will benefit from you childminding (even with difficult mindees) and this particular hurdle will soon be gone and your lo nicely settled in.

Stay strong with the difficult one. Ignore the tantrums and point blank refuse to be drawn into his antics. Be clear and consistant when going into the school and tell him how it is GOING to be. He may even surprise you (but then again, maybe not!)

Good luck - hope mum agrees to some late drop offs.

Helen79
02-09-2009, 08:24 AM
I have a similar problem tomorrow when dd starts school.

I have a baby starting with me tomorrow, her first day & have my own 19month ds to take into the school with my dd. No pushchairs allowed so will have to carry baby & ds.
dd has been for settling in sessions last term so I'm not too worried about her being unsettled but don't want ds to be running riot in the classroom while all the other parents are saying goodbye & settling their children. I can't carry him as I'll have the baby to carry.

I had to take 2yr old mindee to all her settling in sessions last term too.

I would ask mum if she can drop off later. I would only suggest it for a few weeks though, 6 weeks til half term is a long time to be changing drop off times at short notice, unless she's happy with the arrangement.

georgie456
02-09-2009, 08:41 AM
My DD starts school on the 10th and I have taken it as a day's holiday so I can fully concentrate on her (DH is also off so I won't have to take DS on school run)
Full timer is on holiday on the Friday when she has her teacher home visit so hopefully she will be feeling settled by the time he comes back.

I am finding it all quite stressful too. DD's school like you to drop off at 8.45 and then stay with your child until 9am, but some days I have 5 children so that will just not be feasible.

I may be calling in some favours from cm friends I think!

Good luck to all the lo's starting big school in the next couple of weeks!

samgeordie
02-09-2009, 08:48 AM
I would have a chat with the mum and see how well she agrees to it, maybe even if its a week, 2 weeks if she won't agree till half term.

My little girl started school 2 weeks ago (im in scotland and we go back earlier), i just took her 1st day off as i only have 1 other mindee to take to school and they are best buddies anyway. You need to put you and your child first and lets hope this parent is a nice understanding one.

I know how heartbreaking it is when your wee one starts school, im now on my own all day now as have no pre-schoolers (- not with the want of trying i may add) and its so quiet and horrible

rickysmiths
02-09-2009, 09:16 AM
My goodness how hard the schools make it for everyone these days!

When my daughter started she went to nursery for two terms and we didn't even go into the classroom then! For the first half term we helped them off with their coats and found their pegs with them. After half term they were expected to be able to do it by themselves and they enjoyed being independent. Most of them had had a year of Playgroup before getting to this stage anyway.

When they went into Reception they had already visited while in Nursery so they knew the teacher and the classroom.

On their first day we took them into the playground and when the bell went all the teachers came out onto the playground to meet, welcome the children and take them inside. There was no question of going in with them. The classrooms were not desgined for 60 people to be in the and more if there was a younger sibbling! What a nightmare for all concerned. :eek:

I had two mindees in reception last year and I made it very clear to the parents that I would not be able to go into the classroom with them because I had 3 sometimes 4 under fives with me. I would wait by the fence opposite the classroom door (they have a fenced off area outside the door which is undercover) and watch them try to hang their coats up and put book bags in their boxes through a barage of parents who were so busy with their children and talking to their mates about the next party or the last night out that they would bump into the children. :eek:

Why don't the school do a Risk Assessment on this I kept asking myself? It was a free for all. As far as I could see actually dangerous.

I may be old fashioned and forgive me if I upset some of you but I can't see how these kind of situations help the children or the carers. My children and their friends settled well into school without all this fuss and a lot more safely as far as I can see.

mummyroysof3
02-09-2009, 11:23 AM
at jacks nursey is a nightmare, they are supposed to hang up their coat, move their name onto the 'im here' board, put away their bag write their name then fill up their water bottle all this with 30 children and some have mum dad and grandparents taking them in:eek:

after andrew was born i started getting jack to some of it on his own then waiting outside with the other 2 abit longer cos i cant take them inside its just too busy, im lucky really that jacks always settled well so i dont have to stay long.

not sure whats going to happen when he starts full time after xmas as i wont be able to see the pushchair from his class if i left it outside:panic:

charlotte x

misst104
02-09-2009, 11:43 AM
My son starts school on Tuesday and I am picking up that days mindee from the playground after I have dropped him off so thats fine but as for Wednesday morning - I am stressed big time. I have two lo's starting on their first day with me at 8a.m so only L's 2nd day at school I have to get there with him (4years), DS2(2.5 years), P (2.5 years) and M (9 months). My OH was meant to be dropping L off that day so I didn't have all the hassle but he know has to work away Tuesday and Wednesday so I am stuck with it! NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AT ALL!!!!

Feel like crying at the thought tbh!!! Nothing I can do though as mum has to drop off at that time.

x jo

newandlearning
02-09-2009, 01:34 PM
arr. thank you ladies for all your lovely replies.. my LO starts on Tuesday morn as well.. and there is a little part of me that feels very emotional about this.. my LO is beginning to grow up and develop outside of home environment.. If I could sprinkle fairy dust and keep us in the moment for a bit longer I sometimes think I would .. saying that I know he is going to love his school its really lovely.

I asked the mum today if she could drop off at 9.30 for me on tuesday so I can go there with our LO and his brother on our own to settle etc and she was fine with that.. I also asked if we could revert back to our old drop off time of 9.15 until half term or sooner if he's settled quicker she is happy with that too.. all in all the mum has been great... just need to sort mindee out with behaviour now.:) :laughing:

misst104
02-09-2009, 01:39 PM
Glad you got it sorted out :)

xxx jo

Ripeberry
02-09-2009, 01:42 PM
My four year old DD starts on Monday and I don't have any mindees that day.
She has had lots of settling in over the last 2 months. The pre-school is just opposite the school (share part of the playground) so each friday in June and July, the rising 5's went over to the reception class for storytime and in late July they had a couple of afternoons (2hrs) with the reception children.
They all know each other anyway, as its a small village school and the children all went through the same pre-school.
It's going to be SO strange seing my DD2 dressed up in the same school jumper that my DD1 wore when she first started school (I'm a great believer in hand me downs).
Good luck to everyone and remember....be strong until you're out of sight of your DC, then you can have a blub! :(

newandlearning
02-09-2009, 01:46 PM
thank you misst104 .. and I feel for ya.. but once this time has passed hopefully everything will fall into place for you and things will get easier..
shall send you some happy thoughts on the day..xx