Bit miffed!!!

[helenlc]

I have a LO aged 2 who started at the beginning of the summer holidays. She comes Monday and Tuesday during the holidays. Mum also works in a school so in term time it would be an extra all day Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. Hours are a bit all over the place but add up nicely.

Mum is always very lovely when she comes and is always positive and complimentary about how much fun P has here and how she likes how she does lots of things with me. She even mentioned the other day how her nephew is in a nursery and doesnt have as much freedom.

Anyway, she has just collected LO and said that there is a subsidised nursery next door to the school and she is taking LO there for the Wednesday and Thursday!!!:angry:

She says its because its cheaper (although she gets help from Tax Credits) - it will be £50 for both days. I just worked out my fee for the 2 days and its about £70, so only £20 difference.

She does want me to do a Friday as well as the Monday and Tuesday but its not as many hours.

She also made some comment about "As long as I know where she is I am ok". Nothing about whether who daughter is happier or gets better opportunities.

Sorry for rant :angry: . Just narked that she has done it like this and for the sake of £20. When she was using the 4 days, I thought that was ok and made it worth my while. But now its 3 days, it leaves me with 2 days to try and fill.

[Goatgirl]

Hi Helen,
Is she contracted for the days in question? Bit rude to make an arrangement with you that she then breaks...

bws, Wendy :-)

[Mouse]

Unfortunately it nearly always seems to come down to money :panic:

I'm in a similar situation with one of my parents. I've looked after the daughter for almost 4 years, the younger brother for 3. I've given them a good discount over the years, so their fee for 2 children is really very reasonable.
Now that the girl is going to school, it's obviously going to be cheaper, but because of the discount I've given them up till now, not that much cheaper.

The mum has always gone on about how much she loves them coming here, how she would never dream of using a nursery etc. THEN, she came to me last week & said she was wondering whether or not it would be cheaper for the daughter to go to a nursery after school! I looked at the fees online & showed her how much more expensive the nursery is. She realised they'd be better off left with me, but is now trying to shorten their hours!

On the plus side for you, you may find it easier to fill 2 days than 1. Still very annoying though.

[helenlc]

Hi Helen,
Is she contracted for the days in question? Bit rude to make an arrangement with you that she then breaks...

bws, Wendy :-)

Well, yes, in so much as we had signed contracts and I had the hours for the monday and tuesday that we have been doing in the holidays on there. I didnt put the term time hours as until she starts, its hard to know what times she actually needs.

I mean, I could argue the toss with her and say that she has to give me 4 weeks notice to drop the hours also be charged for them for that 4 weeks. But she is still using me on the other days and I dont want to risk this.

For me, tbh, its not so much about the money (I will be down about £40), its the fact that she goes on about how much P loves to come here, how much she (mum) loves knowing she is doing fun things ie we had the paddling pool out last week and she spent the weekend showing her family the photos of P in the pool. She knows her nephew wouldnt get that in a nursery so I dont know why she is putting P in a similar environment.

I also think P will struggle in the nursery as well as she is not that good with other children of a similar age. Mum hasnt ever taken her to toddler groups or that so she is only just getting to know what other toddlers are like with the 14 month old I also mind. She struggles when 14 month old does anything and is always telling her No even when she has done nothing wrong! She is unsure when the 14 month goes near her or tries to give her a toy or something.

I was also going to do another post earlier about her eating as mum always feeds her (even now!) and she doesnt like to feed herself even finger foods like sandwiches, cheese cubes etc. I dont think a nursery is going to feed her at 2 yrs old nor allow her the time she normally takes to eat when I do leave her to do it herself.

In regards to having trouble filling the 1 day if it stayed as it was, i wasnt actually going to bother as her other days added up to almost a full time mindee. But now I will have to try and fill the 2 days as her money for Mon Tues and Fri is not as much as it was going to be.

And yes, when parents make their decision based on money, especially £20, it does make you mad!!!:angry: I know we all like to save money where ever we can but surely not on our child's care and happiness? I would rather my child was out and about with a childminder having different experiences than stuck in the confines of a day nursery.

Rant over again:blush:

[nikim]

hi i can see your point of view , but i can also see mums it may only be £20 a week but that adds up to £80 per month which is a lot, although when times are hard chilcare is not a luxury you can cut back on :panic: , i am guessing that she prefers the care that your giving which is why she will still be coming to you on the other days as i can imagine that she would save a lot more if she went there all the time , sometimes youve just got to let them make their own mistakes they soon come running when it turns out to be not as good as they expected;)

p.s dont forget to remind her to tell tax credits about the changes;)

[helenlc]

Have spoken with Mum and she said that the £50 is for both days 8am to 6pm. She says that by having the option to leave P in there extra hours she can get some things done before having to collect her. Obviously if she did this with me she would be charged for extra hours.

I said that's fair enough and understandable. She is on her own and is now working 5 days a week so I cannot begrudge her having a few hours where she can get things done but know its not going to cost the earth.

Feel better now.

[nikim]

wow thats really cheap :eek: , is it part of the place where she works ?, i had a mum a few years back who was a nurse and she sent her lo to the onsite creche ......... it was awful and she pulled him out after a month this was around 4 years ago though and i am sure things are much better now

[helenlc]

wow thats really cheap :eek: , is it part of the place where she works ?, i had a mum a few years back who was a nurse and she sent her lo to the onsite creche ......... it was awful and she pulled him out after a month this was around 4 years ago though and i am sure things are much better now

Its a nursery attached to the school she works in so she can get it so heavily subsidised. I cant compete with that.

She would have needed me Wednesday 7.30 to 4.30 - this would include her travelling time (approx 30 mins each way) then 11.30 - 4.30 on the Thursday. I would have accomodated her coming later if she had errands to run and appts etc but I would charge her for these extra hours, so would have made it so much more expensive.

[Goatgirl]

Ah, that sounds more understandable. Glad you're feeling better about it :-)

[Mollymop]

Glad your feeling better now Helen x