parents says i can't have hols

[TRACEY1969]

:angry: :angry: i took on this parent in March this year and she didn't mention i only can have restricked hols. She knows i have 3 children of my own, she rang me the other day and told me she had just book next years hols 2 weeks in June the week after witson, so i told her i couldn't take them as my hols due to the kids been taked out of school she said ok. She has know given me an upto date hols list till July 2010 and i noticed all the school hols i can't have except for the 6 weeks. (she works for SCS and they are only allowed to have certain hols). I have given her my hols for next year and some are at Xmas and Easter , she rung me up saying i couldn't have them as this is classed as a "closed period" for work i am not happy what can i do i told her i want to spend time with my children when they are off school. Her partner wont take the time off to have him. I only wanted to have 2 days at Xmas and 4 days at Easter. What would you do any advice please.:angry:

[Zoomie]

think you should tell this parent to take a hike.

it is YOUR business, you make the rules, not the parent.

in all honesty, do a letter, stating when you ARE taking your hols (that you want, not her) and give her the link of ************* and tell her to start finding alternative care for whilst you are not available.

:angry: :angry: :angry: Who does she think she is ????

[angeldelight]

Well thats fine

She can have her holidays when she likes but because you are still working and they are not your holidays then she still must pay you full fee

You can have YOUR holiday when you want it is nothing to do with her - I have the same sort of problem with a parent for the same sort of thing at the moment so I know how you feel.

Stick to your guns and explain that when you are not working she does not pay you
When she is on holiday she does pay you

If you give at least 4 weeks notice of your holiday dates you can have them when you want and once you have given her them do not back down

I think she has a damn cheek to be honest

YOUR BUSINESS YOUR RULES

Good luck

Angel xx

[Pipsqueak]

Why are you allowing this parent to dictate YOUR holidays???
You are self employed and therefore set your own terms/conditions/holidays etc. It is not for her to tell you, ask and compromise maybe if it suits you but other than that tell her NO (and don't even add in a sorry).

[twinkle3005]

Hi

Parent can't tell you when you can and can't take holidays. You're self employed so can decide to take your holidays whenever you like. Tell her you've given her plenty of notice to get cover for the time your hols clash with hers and that you will be taking the time you've told her about. Try and sort out holiday pay now so you both agree and there are are no problems when the time comes.

[PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER]

your not her nanny you are self employed so can take whatever time off you want (as established in your contract)

Tell her you have given her enough notice and she will have to make alternative arrangements for when your off

[~Chelle~]

Well that is her tough luck.

You can take your holiday when you like, as long as you give her the notice period stated in your contract then there is not a thing she can do about it.

Who does this woman think she is???:angry:

[Trouble]

cheeky witch

id be telling her my way or by way:angry:

[TRACEY1969]

i have put everything in writting to her and stated holiday pay as well. I did tell her i only take hols when the kids are off. I only do 3 days for her and she wants me to do 5 but i said no to it as its 45hrs, she told me her partner has 2 weeks off at Xmas so i book a hols then, but it work out i only needed 2 days hols and she told me she had to work and couldn't get the time off so i told her that her partner had to do the childcare for 2 days. What do parents want. She said she will ring me today and discuss it and no i wont back down. Let you know what happens.

[nikim]

first of all remember this is your buisness and you are not employed by her :panic: , i am assuming you have a contract stating what you do in the event of your time off which she has signed , and am i right in saying that she didnt discuss the fact that she had restricted holidays with you at the beginning, i had this happen to me last month , i had booked off a long weekend , it was my sons birthday we had family coming and i had told them in jan about it (time off being 1st w/e in august) , 2nd week in july she wrote in the childs contact book that unfortunatley they wouldnt (they work together) be able to take time off and sorry for any inconvienience they caused me :mad: , so i very nicely wrote back and said here are the phone numbers of some other minders who may be able to help you out , the next time he came she wrote in his book that she had arranged for her mum to have him, sometimes i think they just try it on:rolleyes:
dont back down its important you spend time with your family especially at xmas , and point her in the direction of alternative care for the holidays you will be taking, hth xx

[little chickee]

Do not let yourself be dictated to by the parents - most of us do this job because we can gat it to fit in around our own families - if we wanted to be told when we can and cant take holidays and what we can and cant do we may as well go work in a nursery.

Be polite but firm and TELL her that you will be taking your holidays when you please.

I have had this same situation with a parent and i ended up working for half my holiday and being totally p****d off about it.

She does NOT employ you - she pays a fee to use your services.

[Ripeberry]

How much do you need this parent? I'd tell her to take a hike! You are self-employed, it's not up to her what holidays you take. :angry:
This is one of the other reasons why I make sure my parents know that I'm term-time only as I can only have holidays at school holiday time.

[Mari]

At the contract stage it should be discussed about holidays. did you discuss the terms such as whether there is payment for your holidays, retainer for parents and how much notice should be given? If this is discussed then there should be no argument, you give notice 4 weeks in advance and it is legally bound in the contract.
It seems like the parent doesn't understand the contract so perhaps you should arrange a review with her and discuss all of the contract and terms and conditions of your childminding business.

One parent said to me once, 'you work for me and I will decide the hours!' needless to say I didn;'care for her kids. I work for myself and my family and offer a service, if the service doesn't suit them then they have to look elsewhere.

[rickysmiths]

You are quite right to stick to your guns over this. I don't understand some parents. I always explain to parents at the interveiw stage that all my main holidays will be in the school hols because I don't take the children out of school for hols. The other big factor is that my dh is a teacher so has no choice as to when he takes his hols.

I had a parent years ago tell me because I was self employed I was not entitled to any holidays :eek: They left me fairly rapidly. I mean, of course we only babysit at home don't we, we don't really work so why would we need a holiday, silly me lol :blush:

I had a family sign with me 3yrs ago, they were with me a year and then announced that my taking holidays in the school holidays all the time was inconvenient for them and so would I please change them to June and September!!!!! They left rapidly and then discovered how much more expensive the work day nursery was, by the time they came back to me a couple of weeks later I had filled the vacancy :jump for joy:

It is not good that the parent did not talk to you before the contact was signed to ask if the arrangements were good for you. One wonders if she had a similar experience with another minder and did not want to mention it incase you said no. Sounds as if in this instance a nursery would be a better option for them.

[ZoeAlli]

Sorry to hear you have had problems with parent! There has already been some good advice given and I don't think I can add anything else! Really wanted to say, hope you get it sorted for what works for you both! Don't back down though, it is your business and although we are supposed to offer inclusive care- this sounds like it is dictative, she should have got a nanny if she wanted this kind of care!!
Hope it goes well when you speak with her!

[kindredspirits]

just wanted to add :angry: :angry: :angry: on your behalf!!!! hold you ground xxx

[TRACEY1969]

i do a seperate hols form in my contract short and to the point. I am entiled to 4 weeks hols and i need 4 weeks notice if you are having hols, otherwise i will charge full fee. This parents hols start July to July so when i came off my hols Tuesday she gave me a list of hols dates that were taken and what i can't have. My daughter is 18 in Feb so i want 3 days off and i want to go away in April again like i always do. Come Sept. he is the only one i will be looking after as i finish with 4 of them, and no i'm not dependant on her as i am a part time beautician as well at home.

She told me a few weeks ago she has informed social services on her friend and the child was taken into care for a few days. It was abit petty and the child was returned a few days later, but it makes me wonder what else she can she do.

[pinklady]

You've got your contract so everything you've done is legal and above board. Everyone is entitled to a holiday and you've been more than fair.

Don't let this lady intimidate you, stick to your guns.

[nikim]

She told me a few weeks ago she has informed social services on her friend and the child was taken into care for a few days. It was abit petty and the child was returned a few days later, but it makes me wonder what else she can she do.

nice friend:eek: sounds like she may be trouble :panic:

[OrlandoBelle]

You are not doing anything wrong. Everything you are doing is legal and is outlined in your contract. This is YOUR childminding business, not hers. You are entitled to holiday when YOU want it, just like she is. It is not your problem that she can't have holidays at certain times of the year. If you were a nursery that was closed over easter/christmas, she would have no choice but to find alternative care. I know it's easier said than done with some people, but don't let her walk all over you. Stand your ground!

Let us know how it goes. x

[Minstrel]

I am utterly gobsmacked :eek:

And angry for you that she even has the cheek to say this!:angry:

[jibberjitz]

OMG she sounds like a right one!:eek: You decide when you take your holidays and if she doesn't like it the tough!!! Dont be dictated to!

[TheBTeam]

Well thats fine

She can have her holidays when she likes but because you are still working and they are not your holidays then she still must pay you full fee

You can have YOUR holiday when you want it is nothing to do with her - I have the same sort of problem with a parent for the same sort of thing at the moment so I know how you feel.

Stick to your guns and explain that when you are not working she does not pay you
When she is on holiday she does pay you

If you give at least 4 weeks notice of your holiday dates you can have them when you want and once you have given her them do not back down

I think she has a damn cheek to be honest

YOUR BUSINESS YOUR RULES

Good luck

Angel xx

I agree!! , because you are self employed you can take your time when you want it!!! Can you offer a childminding friend that the children would know that would be able to take the kids, but I would not work over christmas for anybody and always take the time off between christmas and new year, and I don't care if the queen asked, i get very little time to my family only and make this clear to parents at the outset!

Stick to your guns!

[Tatjana]

Sounds like she needs a nanny to boss around.:eek:

Good for you sticking to your guns!

xx

[Little Pumpkins]

well ive never had a parent tell me when i can have holidays!

you have a life and family too

im betting restricted holiday dates arnt in your contract

explain this to her

[Mari]

I would give her notice as per the terms of the contract, as from today.

[mumof4]

wow, what a situation! I would not be told when to have hols, as said before your self employed meaning you get to choose when you have hols not a parent. If you dont need her I would give notice, im sure that hols wont be the only thing she has issues with. Good Luck;)

[buildingblocks]

:censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:

okay i know I am no doubt repeating what everyone else has said but they do not tell you when you take your holidays okay they might have some reason if you were taking a month off with no notice but even then so long as you give them the proper notice that is tough as well.

If you had 6 different families how would you be able to fit in with all their plans

You couldn't

Remember it is YOUR business

I take 5 weeks holiday a year one is a full week sometime in May another sometime in September and one in July (not a holiday but to plan and get everything ready for the summer school hols) the rest are as odd days I also close for bank holidays and the week between Christmas and New Year these are not in my days off allowance.

I take all my holidays in term time which I do feel slightly guilty about but I have no family so not paying school holiday prices and I also can't stand the hot weather !!!!

The parents get the list as soon into the new year as we get Gary's holidays booked at work and any additional days are given as soon as we possibly can

[georgie456]

I haven't had time to read replies properly so forgive me if I am repeating...

Did I really read that she "told" you that you cannot take holiday???!!!!

This is YOUR business - you work for yourself. I'm afraid I would be informing her that you will take holiday to spend with your children when you like, and as long as you are giving her ample notice then she has no complaint.

Personally I would be re-thinking just how much I need this particular child. The women sounds extremely strange!

Let us know what happens hun x

[peanuts]

you are intitled to take your holidays when you want to fit in with your family. childminding children then fit around that. i let my ones know normaly in january so give them 6 months notice.

dont let them dictate to you it is your business your rules not them dictating to you that is not a partnership. what if you were full and had no spaces left would they expect you not to take any holidays.

you need to take time off when you want it not when they demand it.

[Chimps Childminding]

[QUOTE=buildingblocks;506736]
:censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:

okay i know I am no doubt repeating what everyone else has said but they do not tell you when you take your holidays okay they might have some reason if you were taking a month off with no notice but even then so long as you give them the proper notice that is tough as well.

If you had 6 different families how would you be able to fit in with all their plans

You couldn't

Remember it is YOUR business

My thoughts exactly!!!!!I give my parents a list in January of my holidays (when possible) and if they coincide theirs with mine good for them they don't have to pay, other than that they pay half for their hols. No way would I have parents telling me when I can and can't have my holidays!!!:angry:

[zillervalley]

as all have said before, you take your hols when you want, if this parent cant take them then .(tuff) she has to pay you full fee for hres as you are still available,

is she the only parent you have, cos most of us have a few at the moment i have 4 parents i cant be expected to please them all, therfore they pay me full if i am available

hope things get sorted foe you

ziller

[Daftbat]

Flippin Ekk!!!!!

If any of my parents told me when i could have my hols (apart from in jest) I would be reminding them that i am NOT a NANNY!!!!!

The woman has a right cheek - don't be put off by talk of social services or anything. You are in the right and she is a BULLY:angry:

You have evry right to take your holidays whenever you like.:clapping:

[Forum Widower]

Will keep it simple though may not be very helpful - tell her where to stick it!!! :angry:

[breezy]

Will keep it simple though may not be very helpful - tell her where to stick it!!! :angry:

sounds good to me :laughing:

[loocyloo]

i had a parent who told me the day off i planned ( 4 weeks later ) wasn't convienent, and she would see what she could do ... i asked her if she would like me to find a childminder to cover ? ... amazingly she sorted it herself!

same parent has just said 'thank you for letting her know that i am not working between christmas and new year, would i be able to do a day in an emergency?' i managed to stay calm and say no, i was busy !!!

but its taken a few years to be able to say no!

good luck, i hope its worked out ok!

xxx

[Toothfairy]

Stick to your guns, she doesn't employ you, you run your own business!!!

I don't charge for any holiday I take but if the parents decide to take holiday which does not coinside with my dates, then they pay full fees as I am still available to work.

I always make sure this is understood right from the start.

Good luck, let us know how you get on, be firm!!!

[Twinkle]

Cheeky mare! :angry:

Just in case she does try and cause any trouble it might be an idea to keep a written record of everything she says and when.

If an Ofsted Inpector lands on your doorstep after receiving an 'anonymous complaint' from this bully, you'll have the upper hand by having a written account.

Good luck and stick to your guns!

[Mollymop]

Don't be intimdated by here with her threats. You stick to your guns hunni. No way should she be telling you when it is ok for you to have your holidays!!!!!!!!!!! I am so angry for you right now

Does she go to the local corner shop and tell them they must open at 5am rather than 6 because she need to be there at that time?? No, course not, so why should she tell you when YOU must close for business.

She needs to get something sorted where she has someone else to care for her children when you are ill or having time off. It is not your fault if she hasn't got that back up.:mad:

CHEEKY bleed er!

[Heaven Scent]

Quite frankly as you are in the enviable position of not needing this parent I would serve polite notice on her stating that you feel you may not be the correct minder for her as you cannot fulfil all her needs/requirements - and feel she may be better with someone else - She'll struggle to find someone who will be able to meet those requirements.

I'm not suggesting you give her the boot because of the holiday issue but because of what she did to her friend - she sounds like a right nasty piece of work and is not to be trusted and therefore she should not be welcome into your home where you need to protect your own children and any other children you care for and their families - she seems a bit unhinged if you ask me - so get rid quickly.

As others have said she has a cheek and I would also ensure that you jot everything down and keep it with your paperwork for these children for as long as you keep your records - Don't give an inch write it all down no matter how insignificiant it may seem, that way if she does take the hump and decide to be vindictive you have it all written down also go back over the time you've had the children and jot down notes on anything that may have arisen e.g. child falling and entry in accident book - any comments passed about early arrivals/late collections etc. - anything you can think of that she may be able to twist into a complaint.

[Rosiemay]

OMG!!!! Sorry I haven't got any advice - as it has all been said here. BUT . . .I can't believe the cheek of this woman! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!:angry:

Good luck. :thumbsup:
Rosie x

[The Juggler]

ditto to everything that has been said. I once had a parent tell me it was Ok this year as she had lots of leave but after that she would not be able to let me take all the odd days here and there.

I explained that I only took 10 days paid holiday but would take up to 20 days as discussed and when I needed them, provided I gave notice as agreed. She said I couldn't have one day as she couldn't get the day off and she employed me. I said no, you don't I provide a service and you pay for it. I told her I needed to take it (I had to pick DH up from a day surgery op) and she would need to get someone to have the kids. How do they expect us to survive the year with only 10 days off! They all have at least 20 if they are working.

Good luck

LOL

[Playmate]

OMG I have 12 sets of parents, where would I be if they all told me when I could and couldn't have my hols! :rolleyes:

I think notice is in order!

Good luck

[Nicki L]

Some parents do half try it on!!!! who does she think she is.

Stick to you guns xxx

[Pipsqueak]

did you talk to the parents and tell THEMwhat you are doing?

[TRACEY1969]

did you talk to the parents and tell THEMwhat you are doing?

I always tell parents my holidays will be when they are not at school and i never book hols without letting them know first. All the dates i have i requested are to spend time with my children at home or days out. My kids are 11, 14 and 17 they probably think my kids don't need to spend time with parents anymore.
I still haven't heard from the parent about my hols yet, but i have just requested an up dated list of available childminders in my area who might be able to help her, and i will remind her of my contract which they both signed regarding my holidays. My first hols which i have requested isn't till Xmas so i think i have given her plenty of notice to find cover. Thanks for everyone help and advice i will keep you in touch when she comes tomorrow.

[Pipsqueak]

I always tell parents my holidays will be when they are not at school and i never book hols without letting them know first. All the dates i have i requested are to spend time with my children at home or days out. My kids are 11, 14 and 17 they probably think my kids don't need to spend time with parents anymore.
I still haven't heard from the parent about my hols yet, but i have just requested an up dated list of available childminders in my area who might be able to help her, and i will remind her of my contract which they both signed regarding my holidays. My first hols which i have requested isn't till Xmas so i think i have given her plenty of notice to find cover. Thanks for everyone help and advice i will keep you in touch when she comes tomorrow.

sorry hun - what i meant was that have you got back to the parents since and told them that you will be taking your holidays as and when it suits you.

[Twinkles]

I think your big problem is that -as you say- you requested the holiday.
That shouldn't be how it's done sweetie , you tell them when you are taking holiday.
She's not your boss - you are. She's just a client/customer who is using the service that you provide.

[Mouse]

I think your big problem is that -as you say- you requested the holiday.
That shouldn't be how it's done sweetie , you tell them when you are taking holiday.
She's not your boss - you are. She's just a client/customer who is using the service that you provide.


That's what I was thinking. You don't "request" holiday time. You tell them, with plenty of notice, when you are taking your holiday & it's up to the parents to make the necessary arragements.

[Pipsqueak]

I think your big problem is that -as you say- you requested the holiday.
That shouldn't be how it's done sweetie , you tell them when you are taking holiday.
She's not your boss - you are. She's just a client/customer who is using the service that you provide.

Ditto that 100%:D

[TRACEY1969]

UPDATE

The parents rung me last night and told me i could have my holidays and do i know my hols for summer 2010, i said no but i usually go away either the last week in July and 1st in August of the 1st 2 weeks in August, but this might change as we don't know where we are going yet and which month. They said as soon as we know could we inform them.

I have just looked in the book i do for the little one and she has wrote this.

"i've sent an email to my manager today ref last 2 weeks of July or 1st weeks of August 2010. He will speak to the reginal manager and he said he will most likely take the 1st 2 weeks August but will let you know asap"

is she trying to dictate my hols again????

[georgie456]

UPDATE

The parents rung me last night and told me i could have my holidays and do i know my hols for summer 2010, i said no but i usually go away either the last week in July and 1st in August of the 1st 2 weeks in August, but this might change as we don't know where we are going yet and which month. They said as soon as we know could we inform them.

I have just looked in the book i do for the little one and she has wrote this.

"i've sent an email to my manager today ref last 2 weeks of July or 1st weeks of August 2010. He will speak to the reginal manager and he said he will most likely take the 1st 2 weeks August but will let you know asap"

is she trying to dictate my hols again????

I'd be getting really frustrated with this!!!!

I couldn't possibly know when I will be taking holiday in a years time! I give parents 4 weeks notice and that is that!!! How on earth can they expect you to do any different??!!!

Re her contacting her manager - I would ignore that tbh. It is not your problem when she can or cannot take holiday. There are plenty of CM who can cover holidays if necessary.
DO you work with any other local CM's who provide holiday cover for you? I work closely with a group of 5 other cm's and we are always helping each other out with holidays and days off.

Good luck with it hun and keep us updated

[Princess Sara]

UPDATE

The parents rung me last night and told me i could have my holidays and do i know my hols for summer 2010, i said no but i usually go away either the last week in July and 1st in August of the 1st 2 weeks in August, but this might change as we don't know where we are going yet and which month. They said as soon as we know could we inform them.

I have just looked in the book i do for the little one and she has wrote this.

"i've sent an email to my manager today ref last 2 weeks of July or 1st weeks of August 2010. He will speak to the reginal manager and he said he will most likely take the 1st 2 weeks August but will let you know asap"

is she trying to dictate my hols again????

I'd write a nice little note under hers saying ''I said I USUALLY take those weeks, however I cannot be sure until closer to the time.''

[Mouse]

UPDATE

is she trying to dictate my hols again????

It does sound like it! It really might be that she just doesn't understand how it works.

I would write her a letter saying that you feel there is a bit of confusion over
you taking holidays and you would like to clear it up.
Say that as a self-employed childminder you are able to take your holidays when you want. Although you try to fit in with parents' wishes, it is impossible to please everyone all the time, particularly when you have your own family to consider.

Refer to your contract and say that you will always give a minimum of x weeks notice of your holiday dates, and in most cases will probably give much more notice than this. It is then the parents' responsibility to arrange alternative cover for this time. If necessary you will give them the names of other minders who may be able to help, but it is ultimately up to parents to make sure alternative care is arranged.

Then put a bit about their side of the contract, ie. how much notice they have to give etc.

Keep it simple & to the point and don't say things like 'I hope that's OK" or "if that's OK with you". You need to be stating fact, not asking anything, IYSWIM.

I do think it needs sorting now or it's going to be a constant problem. Perhaps she doesn't realise she could use another childminder while you're off.

[OrlandoBelle]

I agree with Mouse on this one. I would also write her a letter so that she is not confused or dictating your holidays. I agree you need to nip it in the bud now or it will become a problem in the future.:(

[georgie456]

I agree with Mouse on this one. I would also write her a letter so that she is not confused or dictating your holidays. I agree you need to nip it in the bud now or it will become a problem in the future.:(

Totally agree with this too. I think as it is becoming such a big issue, a meeting is in order to discuss it properly and get a line drawn underneath it, or there is a chance the issue will just grow and grow.

[buildingblocks]

UPDATE
I have just looked in the book i do for the little one and she has wrote this.

"i've sent an email to my manager today ref last 2 weeks of July or 1st weeks of August 2010. He will speak to the reginal manager and he said he will most likely take the 1st 2 weeks August but will let you know asap"

is she trying to dictate my hols again????

I would write her a letter

Dear Mrs X

Thank you for the note in Y's diary for the information on your holidays for 2010.

Please bear in mind that I have not yet booked my holidays for next year so cannot as yet give you MY holidays that far in advance.

If nearer the time when I inform you of my time off you find that yours do not coincide I will be glad to give you the number of the CIS (or childminders I know who may have spaces) who may be able to help you find alternative childcare for those two weeks.

Please feel free to talk to me if you have any problems with this or do not understand the terms of our contract

[Bitsy Beans]

she just isn't listening to you. You've said that you usually take those week not that you definately will.
TBH if you can live without her money I've give her notice. She sounds a high maintenance bird :angry:
I think this is going to be a recurring issue. She'd be better off at a nursery where they don't close.

[The Juggler]

I would write her a letter

Dear Mrs X

Thank you for the note in Y's diary for the information on your holidays for 2010.

Please bear in mind that I have not yet booked my holidays for next year so cannot as yet give you MY holidays that far in advance.

If nearer the time when I inform you of my time off you find that yours do not coincide I will be glad to give you the number of the CIS (or childminders I know who may have spaces) who may be able to help you find alternative childcare for those two weeks.

Please feel free to talk to me if you have any problems with this or do not understand the terms of our contract

I would also add, I will give you x months notice which as you will appreciate is far more notice than required by the terms of our contract.

[Heaven Scent]

Oh for goodness sake that ****** woman is either taking the P big time or her boss is - there is no way on earth is she as a parent expected to know at this stage when she will be taking next years hols plus she is protected under the law and is entitled to take her leave in order that she can care for her child. someone somewhere is very unaware of the law or is enjoying trying to be in control. - Kick the lot of them into touch and clear your life of their problems.- If you feel like it point her in the direction of ACAS so she can find out her and her partners rights as parents - perhaps its about time she found another job.!!!