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DIPPY DOUGHNUT
17-08-2009, 03:34 PM
Hi

I have a 3 1/2yr old that ive just started to mind and i looked after her in July and then had a 2 week holiday and have her again as from today.

Her mum had told me that shes not a big eater and therefore only allowed drinks with her 3 main meals a day. She was having lunch at home today and i thought it was a bit long to go over 5 hrs with out a drink so asked mum when she dropped her off if she could have a drink with her snack to which she agreed.

She still needs help going to the toilet and before my holiday when i took her her urine smelt very strong and again today it smelt very strong. I think she is dehydrated.

I mentioned to mum today that her daughter hadnt drank alot today and and she dismissed it how is the best way to mention to her that i think her daughter could be dehydrated?

Also she said that her daughter doesnt eat very much then told me that the food she had provided for her snack she didnt really like! So i spent 20mins trying to get her daughter to eat somthing. :(

tinkerbelle
17-08-2009, 03:56 PM
i might be wrong here but personnally i didnt think you were allowed to stop the children drinking
during my ofsted inspection my inspector loved that the mindees had access to cold drinks of water (have a dispenser on the fridge) throughout the day and said it was a must that drinks were available at all times

Minstrel
17-08-2009, 03:57 PM
Its in the EYFS that the children must have access to drinking water at all times, so you are not meeting her basic needs if you withhold the drinks.

I would explain this to mum that you are not allowed to say no to LO having water. This takes the decision away from mum and she cant have a go at you because its the law!

Minstrel
17-08-2009, 03:58 PM
posted at same time!

sweets
17-08-2009, 03:59 PM
i might be wrong here but personnally i didnt think you were allowed to stop the children drinking
during my ofsted inspection my inspector loved that the mindees had access to cold drinks of water (have a dispenser on the fridge) throughout the day and said it was a must that drinks were available at all times

yes thats right children should have access to fresh water at all times, even in schools they do now. I would tell mum that by law you cannot limit her drinks.

Hebs
17-08-2009, 04:08 PM
i had the same problem with the mum to my little mindee

she wanted me to refuse drinks and food unless she said TA, she was 18 months old at the time and couldn't talk :panic:

I told mum that if i refused her her basic needs i was breaking the law, and god forbid if the lo ends up in hospital for dehydration (or worse) i could be held accountable.
I also pointed out that if i had concerns regarding the welfare of the children in my care by law i had a duty to inform SS :thumbsup:

I put it all in a letter, along with the relevant infomation (printed out)
mum soon dropped the issue :D :littleangel:

Tinglesnark
17-08-2009, 04:43 PM
thats awful of her! no wonder the child wont eat, ever tried to eat when ur mouth is as dry as ghandi's slipper? poor little thing, i hope u can sort this, i agree with the others...show her the eyfs if u have to x

sarah707
17-08-2009, 04:57 PM
This is another time when Ofsted tell us one thing and parents tell us another.

If the mother has been told by the doctor that her child should not drink in between meals because of feeding concerns, then you need it in writing, signed by the health professional who gave the information.

Otherwise, as the other members have said, you must provide free access to fresh drinking water at all times. :D

Pipsqueak
17-08-2009, 05:00 PM
lots of professional advice re the giving of drinks so I would gently broach with mum that you are concerned that when helping little one go to the toilet that her urine smelled strong and that is an indication of dehyrdration. You could then slip in that you are not allowed to withhold basic needs such as food and drink etc. BUT together you can perhaps work on a plan that encourages her eating habits such as a wide variety of foods, smaller portions, getting her involved in making stuffetc.
Perhaps this child is just a small eater - some kids are and they survive perfectly well! Have you any indications of her eating habits - what sort of portion sizes, fav foods etc.

To be honest if the mum is insistent on this you may have to be less than tactful and start recording it as a concern.

mummyroysof3
17-08-2009, 05:13 PM
is it wrong of me to just say that i would just give the child drinks as and when they wanted them and not say anything to the parent unless they brought the subject up?

charlotte x

Helen79
17-08-2009, 05:35 PM
I would write a letter aswell mentioning ofsted. Also lack of drinks really affects children's behaviour, I find I get really ratty if I haven't had a glass of water for a few hours. especially when it's hot.

I only offer water in between meals so it doesn't fill them up too much.

If anything withholding drinks in between meals will just make her have huge gulps just before she eats so will probably fill her up even more than just having little sips throughout the day.

DIPPY DOUGHNUT
17-08-2009, 05:44 PM
Thanks for all the advice, i think i will be having a chat with her next time shes here.

Its strange as my other two drink all day long! and even when im giving the others a refill in their cups she never asks for a drink or tells me shes thirsty. When i gave her a drink at snack time i had to really encourage her to drink it and she managed 1/4 cup.

I have spoken to her mum about her eating and she said that its not the amount that she eats its that she fussy and mums fed up of cooking one meal for her and one for the rest of the family. As my eldest is very fussy and i have spoken quite alot to the health visitor about this i have been passing on the advice to mum. Which hopefully is helping her.

Helen79
17-08-2009, 06:03 PM
Hope it goes well when you speak to her. I don't see how refusing her drinks is going to help with her fussy eating. Banning certain things at certain times will possibly make it worse, & by not drinking with you could your mindee's way of controlling things & feeling in control of her eating & drinking.

Will she drink anything else while she's with you? maybe adding ice cubes may help, or even just chomping on an ice cube could encourage her to drink a bit more.

Ripeberry
17-08-2009, 07:16 PM
Lots of good advise here! My friend's daughter gets regular water infections and has to drink all the time or she gets ill. It just means that she can go to the loo 12 times a day or more!
So when i take her out for day trips it can be a bit of an expedition and we have to bring a potty even though she is almost 7yrs old.

It's a small world
17-08-2009, 07:44 PM
Didn't want to just ignore your post..I have a 2.5 mindee who constantly drinks..I can ake him a drink and within a minute he'll be asking for more...he constantly asks for juice and although I do provide sugar free juice I give him water..he doesn't always like this but..tell him he can have more juice when he's finished the one he has..which he does...(alternate drinks with my own childern with no problem)

As for food my ds is not fussy just not a big eater..I tend to give little portions cut sandwiches into shapes like teddies / triangles /circles etc to make them interesting..yet sometimes he'll try anything (curry/black pudding/---tastes you wouln't expect a lo to eat like I said not fussy just not a big eater) if her problem is because shes dehydrated then this might not make a diff...but if she is just fussy try different foods small amounts can always give more if she wants.

Definitley offer drinks all day..as per EYFS...

THINK IVE GIVEN SAME ADVICE AS EVERYONE ELSE..BUT I FIND IT HELPS IF YOU HAVE PEOPLE OFFERING THE SAME ADVICE

Hope you get it sorted..

ZoeAlli
17-08-2009, 08:07 PM
I agree with others who have posted already, the child should be offered water freely, as not drinking can cause all sorts of damage- water infections, dehydration and extreme cases kidney problems!!
Icannot see it being a medical condition to not drink between meals as we can survive ( particularly LO's) without food longer than we can without water!
I would write a letter to parent explaining about the strong smell of child's urine and that you would be breaking the law if you refuse the child water at anytime!!
You could also have a chat with her first, then write her a letter detailing what you have talked about and ask her to sign it!
Hope you get it sorted!

Pipsqueak
17-08-2009, 08:27 PM
Its strange as my other two drink all day long! and even when im giving the others a refill in their cups she never asks for a drink or tells me shes thirsty. When i gave her a drink at snack time i had to really encourage her to drink it and she managed 1/4 cup.

.

she might not recognise thirst then!

Tiger Lilly
17-08-2009, 08:38 PM
Poor little thing, and its been really hot. Good luck with that one Beccy. x

carlen222
17-08-2009, 09:32 PM
my daughter just doesnt seem to get thirsty. i always give milk and juice at meal times and have a sports bottles with us when we go anywhere but i noticed her urine was sooo strong and smelly so took her to drs, the poor soul has e-coli in her bladder!!! and must have had it for a long time as i just put the smell down to her not drinking much!!! shes had an ultra sound so far and has to go for a further exam after taking 6 months of antibiotics!!!! so it can get serious if there not drinking!!! and you wouldnt want to be to blame thats for sure!!! good luck :thumbsup: xx

LittleAcorns
17-08-2009, 09:34 PM
Its a really difficult situation for you to be in, and youre right 5 hours is way too long for a child to go without fluid.

I just wanted to add also that not drinking enough causes the liver and kidneys to work ineffectively, thus not processing foods/drinks consumed how they should be!

the poor little one needs to drink between meals as far as im concerned and perhaps encourage limited fluids at meal times

I look after a little girl that would drink a well dry but would then push food around her plate

sorry for tmi but her poo was pale which was an indication that she wasnt getting enough nourishment

after chatting with mum, I gently encouraged no drink for a short time before a meal, would never refuse one if mindee became distressed! then Id give all the mindees a reasonable sized drink at meal time, but explained once it was gone they could have another drink after their meal if they wanted to.

One more thing...sorry this post is becoming an essay :D
My daughter also went through a time of not drinking all day at school and I had to go and have a word because she got a bladder infection and ended up having to have a scan to see if it had caused lasting damage, a young child with an infection is quite a concern!! At the time I even had my gp call me at work with her results and pushed the appointment through, explaining that if left for too long it would cause mega problems.

I hope you manage to get the parent on side hun, youre doing a fab job :thumbsup:

sweets
17-08-2009, 09:35 PM
homemade ice lollies are good for children that don't drink much:)