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View Full Version : Very Shy New Kid! Any Tips?



Schnakes
22-02-2008, 08:50 AM
Hello,

I had a new girl (16 months) start last week. She is incredibly shy - I dont think she has had much experience with other children. She doesnt speak...she doesnt do anything..she jjust stands there. She doesnt intereact with the other kids at all, and will not get involved with anything, no matter how hard I try.

Ive never had such a shy one before...any tips for getting her involved? I know its only her second week, but still...I cant just leave her standing there...??

Sx

LittleMissSparkles
22-02-2008, 08:57 AM
have you tried sitting her on your knee or next to you for a story on a one to one whilst you watch the other little ones play so she gets to know you a little bit first and then she'll feel secure enough to interact with thte others maybe xxx just a thought not had this situation before, hope everything works out ok xxx

sarah707
22-02-2008, 09:16 AM
I had a little boy like this - he was with me for 2 years and it was such hard work! I'd find myself chatting constantly to him and he would just stand there looking at me!

Sometimes I would be in the kitchen, having left him looking at books or sat at the table not doing a puzzle and he would just silently creep up behind me!

I used to feel absolutely dreadful about it, but mum said he didn't talk at home either... I see him now in the playground - he is about 7 - and he is still quiet and shy and by himself most of the time - it's just his nature and he's not unhappy at all...

I just kept talking... I talked about everything... gosh I can still remember how I used to be tired when he left of an evening! :D

angeldelight
22-02-2008, 09:19 AM
I have had this also

Had a child of 2 who would not speak - in the end I just left them to do their own thing allthough like Sarah I would chat away to them and try to involve them - I never asked them if they wanted to join in because she used to with draw again
After a few mths though she did come round and would move towards the toys on her own
She is 4 now and still comes to me school holidays - she is fairly quite still but she does join in a lot more

I also have a 8 year old whos been coming for 2 years - he does not speak at all - hello and goodbye and thankyou that is about his lot
He is very very shy
He did me 2 lovely letters yesterday though for our pen pals and I found out more about him in those than in the 2 years I have been having him hahaa

Good luck

Angel xx

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 09:46 AM
Yes, she does enjoy sitting and reading, but that is it, and tbh, I havent got time to sit her on my knee all day - its not practical!! Not to mention unfair on the other children!

Im dreading next week when the big kids go back to school and I want to take her to the toddler groups and activities. I reckon its going to be a nightmare!!!

Sx

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 09:46 AM
Also, I dont even want to start an obs book on her yet, cos she doesnt do anything TO observe!

Sx

miffy
22-02-2008, 09:52 AM
Well you've observed that she doesn't interact and can say what you are trying to do about it

have you asked mum what she's like at home

does she bring a favourite toy with her to yours etc

Have you tried music and rhymes or puppets

It's still early days yet

Miffy xx

Spangles
22-02-2008, 10:06 AM
I can totally understand how frustrating it must be for you, you must want her to join in so much!

I found this and don't know if it might be helpful?

http://www.shakeyourshyness.com/teachingshychildren.htm

Bless her heart. If she's not speaking yet it's hard to know how she's feeling, she may want to be left alone, or she may be dying to join in, it's hard to tell isn't it!

I think all you can do is chat away to her as much as you can (I'm sure that must feel quite uncomfortable to a degree) and let her join in when she's ready. If you find things she does like to do really praise her when she does them but try not to put her under any pressure.

I think it must be awful to be so shy, I'm a quiet person and that's quite hard but I'm not shy thank goodness.

Good luck with making her feel at ease and I hope the above link is helpful?

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 11:28 AM
An excellent link, Lorri. I read the main article while the kids were eating their snacks, and will click on some of the links within later tonight!! Made very interesting reading. :)

Well - we've had a little progress this morning...we've been doing lots of "small world" play this week, so it was a good opportunity to get down on the floor and let everyone get joined in at their own level...I even got two words out of her!! :D

Miffy - thanks for the obs tips. Im still floundering a bit with obs as only started doing proper obs this January, so I could practice for the EYFS. (How many times can one person use "obs" in one sentence?!). She has been bringing a bear, but doesnt seem very attached to it. Im a bit unsure to do stuff like puppets etc because I dont want to scare her off!

Sx

LittleMissSparkles
22-02-2008, 12:30 PM
Yes, she does enjoy sitting and reading, but that is it, and tbh, I havent got time to sit her on my knee all day - its not practical!! Not to mention unfair on the other children!

Im dreading next week when the big kids go back to school and I want to take her to the toddler groups and activities. I reckon its going to be a nightmare!!!

Sx


I didnt mean all day maybe just for 5 to 10 minutes to have some one to one with her x

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 01:38 PM
Yeah, of course! But the kids all get that anyway!! :)

Sx

miffy
22-02-2008, 01:41 PM
What about making some puppets - I only mean basic ones - paper plate/lolly stick kind (can't draw or sew) then she might be happy to play if she has made it herself

Anyway sounds as though you're making some progress so that's great

Miffy xx

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 01:53 PM
Actually, Susan and Miffy - you have both given me an idea...as she does love stories so much, we could do a story bag, then make stuff to put in it...like a puppet of her fave charachter...then it gives us something to talk about, it includes her fave thing, but the other children can get involved too! :D See, thats why I knew I should come on here with my problem! :D

Sx

miffy
22-02-2008, 01:55 PM
That's a lovely idea - post a photo when you've finished

Miffy xx

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 02:01 PM
My digital camera is broiken :mad: Am using crappy disposables until I get a new one.

:(

Sx

miffy
22-02-2008, 02:16 PM
Oh shame hope you get a new one soon

You'll just have to tell us about it then

Miffy xx

Heaven Scent
22-02-2008, 02:22 PM
Got sinus headache at moment and need to wake sleepers so only have time to say thanks for the link. Don't have time to think about what I used to do with shy ones but may have time tomorrow.

Celine

Schnakes
22-02-2008, 02:44 PM
I hope I get a new one soon too! Its useless trying to tkae photos of the kids with a disposable...I dont know if they have tured out rubbish, and of course by the time I get them printed its too late!!

It was so annoying. I was taking pics of the kids in the park. My naughty daughter was at the bottom of the slide where I was waiting for D to come down so I could take a photo...she snatched it off me, promptly dropped it, then D came whizzing down the slide and kicked it halfway accros the playground! Shes lucky Im not the thrashing type, I was SO angry! I only bought that one in Oct as well!

Sx