sorry to double post but very scared!

[charliegee]

hello everyone - sorry to post twice but I put a question at the end of my post and because it wasn't about the original topic I wasn't sure if anyone would read and I'm so scared I thought I'd post it on a new thread... basically it follows on from my "nightmare parent / mindee" thread - They want a place with me and I didn't feel comfortable with either child or mother - not a good vibe!

(sorry to clutter up forum with a bit of a double post but any advice appreciated!)

---
I've taken the option of emailing to say "sorry space has been filled" and the parent got quite shirty with me - saying "you know I wanted the space" and that she is going to "report me to Ofsted and the council"!!

I'm not sure what she can report me for as we never signed contracts, never took a deposit and she said she was going to have a think about it and let me know (said as she left....) - that was it!

Really don't want to get in trouble - any advice as I'm new reged and really scared now!!

(it was the NICEST email I sent too saying "sorry but since we met I've had another parent come and sign contracts so wont be able to offer xxxxxx the place. I don't have details of any other childminders with vacancies at the moment but I know other parents have found good childcare through the childcare link website....best of luck with your childcare search...apologies again....." nice as anything I thought!)

have I done something wrong here?

x

[wendywu]

No dont worry you have not.

If she had wanted the place then she should have given you a deposit there and then.

Its the same as anything you buy or order, if you want it saved for you, you put down a deposit. End of.

Sounds like you were right with your feelings with this parent, you have had a lucky break. :thumbsup:

[charliegee]

No dont worry you have not.

If she had wanted the place then she should have given you a deposit there and then.

Its the same as anything you buy or order, if you want it saved for you, you put down a deposit. End of.

Sounds like you were right with your feelings with this parent, you have had a lucky break. :thumbsup:

Ah thanks so much! - I am glad I didn't sign up as honestly - alarm bells were ringing when I met the parent / child and I just wasn't happy with it.....was still scared though - especially with parents scary outburst of "I'll report you!!" - glad I haven't done anything wrong - you've helped put my worries away and feel confident I did the right thing

thank you :)

x

[Lady Haha]

Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this one! I did the same thing a couple of months ago! Enquiry was for a little boy starting school in Sept for wraparound care term time and full time in holidays. Mum came to visit on her own first and was lovely, defo wanted place, etc which I practically said was hers. Then a couple of days later she comes back bringing ds with her.........same sort of thing! She also told me that he would be into all my cupboards and drawers etc, so would i be puttin locks on them, she wanted me to make sure he didnt' take his pants off when in teh loo etc etc ......she basically wanted the same standard of care for him as he was getting at nursery, which I couldn't offer.

Then she went on to start questioning my fees, saying she didn't want me in the holidays after all so she could save money.....could see her working out how much I was earning per day!!

After she left, I had the same gut feeling as you. I just didn't want to get involved with this one!!! I felt awful, because I had pretty much promised her the place on the first visit!

In the end I emailed her a very similar message to the one you sent. Thankfully, she didn't get back to me with threats though!!

I especially felt for you, being so new! You don't need that sort of hassle so early on in your career!

But back to your worry! No, you have done nothing wrong! As already said, no contracts were signed and no deposit was taken.

Good luck with your new one!

[LittleAcorns]

Im sure im right in saying this, Ofsted arent interested in things like this, if she were to complain..(which Im sure its just hot air) the complaint isnt about the welfare of a child, so you dont have anything to worry about. No contracts were signed, and until they are you can change your mind, as can they!!! you didnt say anything detrimental to her so other than not being able to offer her a space, which is justified, what can she say

Hope thats helped a bit hun, sorry its very early, as usual Im up at silly oclock x

[PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER]

Dont worry same thing happened to me and she did complain to ofsted.
ofsted simply told her that it was nothing to do with them and as it was my business i could offer the place to who i want.

Ofsted dont deal with the business side of childminding just the childrens welfare x

[huggableshelly]

aww big hugs to you. I hope you are feeling better about it all now and just as others have said you did nothing and she can make the calls but wont get anywhere as nothing had been signed.

[miffy]

I think you've had a lucky escape!

Miffy xx

[Bushpig]

Oh gosh... as Miffy says... you've had a lucky escape! Ignore all emails from her, if there are any. You are not obligated to her in any way as she never signed nor paid a deposit.

[cuffleygirl]

You are self employed and can take on whoever you like within your numbers!

As said above ofsted won't be interested as its contractual (or not even that in this case).

You have nothing to worry about but if it still niggles keep a copy of the email and write down what happened just in case.

Nothing will ever come of it and if she is this nasty then she'll rant at whoever she complains to and they will also see what a lucky escape you've had!

[Pipsqueak]

I'll echo what every one else is saying. Ofsted will not be interested - you hadn't signed contracts.
What a nasty sounding woman - best ignore her.

[childmind04]

She sounds like a child stamping her fi think you need to give yourself a pat on the back for following your instincts, you were obviously right that this parent might be difficult :)

[wendywu]

But a parent cannot assume that they have a place until a deposit is paid to secure it anyway. Life does not work like that.:panic:

[The Juggler]

aw honey. how awful. your instincts were right weren't they. don't worry about it.

[Polly2]

Good advice from everyone

Are you ok? hope so - this kind of thing is horrible and there was no need for her to react like that you e mail sounded lovely.

[georgie456]

I know you have already had your answer but I just wanted to add that you have nothing to worry about. She did not pay any kind of deposit and you didn't sign a contract so you have no obligation to take her on at this point.

It sounds like you definitely made the right decision in not taking her on - she sounds like a bit of a nightmare tbh!

Don't worry yourself about it. Have you replied to her shirty email yet or are you going to leave it?

[Grandad Malcolm]

Hi Charliegee

This is my first post, but not my first encounter with unpleasant "customer's" threatening me will all sorts. Please remember the 'settling in period' can be used as a trial for both parties to 'test' each other and the termination period during that time would be best kept to 1 week's notice.

My wife and I have recently become registered as Childminders after years of dealing with the needs of elderly people, so this really is a lifestyle change, so we love the phrase at the bottom of one of the posts -

we dont stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing

We are not only offering life experiences to our minded children but getting to grips with EYFS is keeping us occupied and active.

Grandad Malcolm:clapping:

[LittleMissSparkles]

you have nothing to worry about as has been said hunnie, thats the way the cookie falls isnt it you could have 2 or 3 parents come for one place and its basically first come first served ( if you of course want that parent ! ) i think it sounds like you have had a lucky escape from what would have clearly been a not very nice parent to work with

try not let her upset or worry you THERES NOTHING SHE CAN DO xxx

[jaz]

I think you've had a lucky escape!

Miffy xx

Couldnt have put it better myself

J
x

[Pipsqueak]

Hi Charliegee

This is my first post, but not my first encounter with unpleasant "customer's" threatening me will all sorts. Please remember the 'settling in period' can be used as a trial for both parties to 'test' each other and the termination period during that time would be best kept to 1 week's notice.

My wife and I have recently become registered as Childminders after years of dealing with the needs of elderly people, so this really is a lifestyle change, so we love the phrase at the bottom of one of the posts -

we dont stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing

We are not only offering life experiences to our minded children but getting to grips with EYFS is keeping us occupied and active.

Grandad Malcolm:clapping:


Welcome Grandad Malcom:thumbsup: don' forget to pop into the hello section to say hi and introduce yourself!!!

[charliegee]

I know you have already had your answer but I just wanted to add that you have nothing to worry about. She did not pay any kind of deposit and you didn't sign a contract so you have no obligation to take her on at this point.

It sounds like you definitely made the right decision in not taking her on - she sounds like a bit of a nightmare tbh!

Don't worry yourself about it. Have you replied to her shirty email yet or are you going to leave it?


wow! thanks everyone for your brilliant replys - feel heaps better now. I haven't responded to her email as she didn't ask any specific questions in it to warrent a reply (just ranted!!) and I didn't want to get into a situation where she gets even more cross and it gets nasty.

She's had my email explaining (nicely honestly!!) that unfortunatly "the place has done" and I've asked my council to update the childcare link website to say "ask provider for details" rather than state how many spaces I have to avoid any further probs.

phew!! you've really all been so kind in putting my worries aside!

thanks everyone - will keep you updated if she emails again - but fingers crossed that is the end of it! - am a happy girl again and looking forwad to working with my parents who have signed and who seem really really nice!

xxx

[Playmate]

you did exactly the right thing, I've done it many times over the last 16 years when I have received bad vibes :D

Good luck with your new mindees!

[kellywestie]

(it was the NICEST email I sent too saying "sorry but since we met I've had another parent come and sign contracts so wont be able to offer xxxxxx the place. I don't have details of any other childminders with vacancies at the moment but I know other parents have found good childcare through the childcare link website....best of luck with your childcare search...apologies again....." nice as anything I thought!)

have I done something wrong here?

x

Hi, hope you are ok, and as others have already said you have nothing to worry about. It was a really good, and helpful, e-mail you sent her and it sounds like you had a lucky escape. It's said a lot, but you should always go with your instincts because 9 times out of 10 they are correct.

I would keep a hard copy of the e-mail you sent her and a copy of her reply and then forget about her. Ofsted and the council wont even give her the time of day as you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Take care.

[mandy moo]

Hi, hope you are ok, and as others have already said you have nothing to worry about. It was a really good, and helpful, e-mail you sent her and it sounds like you had a lucky escape. It's said a lot, but you should always go with your instincts because 9 times out of 10 they are correct.

I would keep a hard copy of the e-mail you sent her and a copy of her reply and then forget about her. Ofsted and the council wont even give her the time of day as you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Take care.

Good advice already given and nothing to add, but I think what Kellie has said is also a good idea 'just in case', there are some very peculiar people out there, who would do anything to cause other people misery..

And welcome Grandad and Nanny? Malcom :D

[Tatjana]

Aww bless you, what a horrid woman that was, lucky you listened to your instinct!

xx

[her8y]

Sounds to me like your instincts were right and you had a lucky escape. I wouldnt reply to her further emails either. Your email was professional and positive. Just mark it down to experience, rise above it and give yourself a huge pat on the back. Def a case of throwing her toys out the pram.....some people just dont like not getting their own way.

A friend of mine has just terminated a contract within the settling in period (wished she had gone with her gut instinct). Rang Ofsted as parent threatening allsorts and they have said its within the contract and therefore not something they would deal with.

[wellybelly]

I think this situation is something every childminder will experience at some point. At the end of the day we are self employed and a certain amount of common sence / descretion will come into that. We are not going to gel with everyone are we?

I really would'nt worry about her making a complaint to Ofsted, I would be inclined to give her the details for Ofsted to show how professional you are.

Just imagine what she would have been like to work with! Atleast you'll have no dealing with her from this point.

Take it on the chin x