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Sarsar3NCH
20-02-2008, 03:21 PM
I have a bit of a two-pronged issue, exacerbated by the school holidays.

How do you cope with your own children having toys they want to play with but are still special to them and so they don't want mindees sharing them? I am feeling really mean making my 6yr old ds play in his room as he wants to play with his new transformer, when he has let me persuade him to share with lo's (4yrs and 3yrs) they have pulled bits off by accident (clipped back together). I find this really hard to deal with at it is still his home and he wants to play near me and his brother and sister.

Also they have a Nintendo Wii which they want to play with but as the controllers are so expensive i will not let lo's use it. However lo's are here 8-6 every day and my youngest goes to bed at 7 so again I feel mean telling them they cant play with it as lo's will want to join in.


I also have issue with mindees bringing own toys from home and not wanting to share them. If they will not share they must put them on the shelf to take home later.

Any advice welcome.........


Sarah

fionamal
20-02-2008, 03:36 PM
My 2 kids tend to play in their rooms with their Speical Toys as they have both learnd the hard way in getting them broken by mindees.

Mindees are only allowed to bring their own toys as long as they will share them with everyone else if not they are taken from them until they go home.

Daughter has it sussed now. She tells them if they cant share their toys then "Mummy" wont share hers and they will have nothing to play with. It soon sinks in and theyre not long in sharing.

Twinkles
20-02-2008, 03:39 PM
It's a tricky one . I'm afraid mine just had to get used to the idea that special toys had to stay in their rooms when mindees were here.
As for mindees not sharing home toys I agree they sit on a shelf 'till hometime ( toys, not mindees :D ).

sarah707
20-02-2008, 03:42 PM
Everything in the playroom is mine... and I share...

Everything in the children's bedrooms belongs to them - and they are allowed to choose whether they want to share or not, but they take the consequences if it gets broken. :D

Heaven Scent
20-02-2008, 03:44 PM
I have a little girl who brings soft toys and won't let her brother play with them so what I do is say that it must go in their spare clothes bag while her brother is up and she can only have it while he is in bed. This works well for the moment but from end of March will have another three year old girl and this won't work so I have been trying to explain that if she brings a toy she has to be prepared to share it or leave it on a shelf.

At various times throughout the day I ask her if I can have a quick cuddle with the toy and she usually allows me I also encourage other in the household to do so so she realises that we will always return it. I also explain to her that the toys are in fact mine and that I love it when she comes every day so that I can share them with her. I also have to be quite firm about her taking things from her brother when he is playing with them she is three and believes that everything is hers and just hers.

When I worked in Nurseries and Primary Schools I used to allow children to bring just one toy but they had to be prepared to leave it on a shelf for most of the day where they could see it or if they chose in a bag or drawer, then at certain times in the day I would let them take the toy out to play with it on the understanding that all of the children would share their toys with each other even with those who hadn't brought one. If a child refused to share then they had to put the toy away and were not allowed to play with anyone else's this usually did the trick.

I also made it clear to parents that they sent the toy at their own risk and that if it was broken or disappeared it was not my responsibility. They were also made aware that the toy must be suitable for all age groups in attendance.

I would also discuss with the parents and child that its best not to bring best or favourite toy/comforter

I hope this helps


Celine :littleangel:

crazybones
20-02-2008, 03:45 PM
It's a tricky one . I'm afraid mine just had to get used to the idea that special toys had to stay in their rooms when mindees were here.
As for mindees not sharing home toys I agree they sit on a shelf 'till hometime ( toys, not mindees :D ).

Yes thats the way it goes in my house too. Although I use the playroom for the over 8's and keep the others with me in living room. They learnt fast that if they left toys in the wrong room the little ones were likely to get them (one broken gameboy later), likewise during the day I keep playroom door shut so the little ones dont get lego etc.

Annie x

ruby
20-02-2008, 03:46 PM
i am lucky i don't have that problem (mine are 24/27yrs) but i can imagine that it could be a problem

i agree if they bring toys they must share if not the toys go out into the hall until they go home

miffy
20-02-2008, 03:50 PM
i am lucky i don't have that problem (mine are 24/27yrs) but i can imagine that it could be a problem

i agree if they bring toys they must share if not the toys go out into the hall until they go home

I agree totally

Miffy xx

Sarsar3NCH
20-02-2008, 03:52 PM
Sarah, do you mean share in their own rooms or they can still choose not to share if they bring the toys out of their rooms?


Would any of you let your children play something like the Wii in front of under 5s?

Sarah

Twinkles
20-02-2008, 04:03 PM
We have a Wii ( done all the jokes ) and I would let over fives, or those I deem responsible enough, use it. If the little ones complain I have an old ps2 that they can play with, they seem happy enough with that.

susi513
20-02-2008, 04:04 PM
I have a separate playroom, so its easy to say to my own children that anything they bring into the playroom must be shared.

Mindees possessions fall into 2 groups - "Special Toys" include dummies, snugglies, teddies, dolls and things they take to bed at naptime, for example. These things do not have to be shared. Anything else is "show & tell" stuff - they can show us and talk about it, and if they don't want to share it goes back in their day bag or out of reach til hometime. As they get older I discourage them from bring things they are not prepared to share. Best birthday presents & anything they don't want to run the risk of losing/breaking must stay at home. I've put in my handbook that I am not responsible for loss or damage.

My lot are pretty good at sharing :D One 2 year old mindee shared all her sisters paintings, for example!

Banana
20-02-2008, 04:08 PM
Isabelle's things that are just for her are kept in her bedroom although she does share rhese at times as sometime when we are upstairs the mindees play in her room.

If they bring things with them then they have to share them otherwise I take them away and put them into a bag to take home

x

angeldelight
20-02-2008, 04:18 PM
I no longer allow the children to bring their own toys from home - I got sick of parents and children moaning if we could not find them at the end of the day

When my children were small they had toys that they would share and toys that were special to them

I did allow them to bring them down stairs and the others were not allowed to touch them at all - they would ask why and we would explain
It was never ever a problem ( things like walkman or a hand held type of game )

I would let my child play with a WII if he did not want to go and play alone in his bedroom - and why should he its his home too

What would you do if you took your camera into the lounge or play room? Would the children expect to use it ? NO because you would explain that it is not a toy and that it belongs to you

I would explain in much the same way

Kids have to learn to share

They also have to learn that they can not have everything they see

Angel xx

Banana
20-02-2008, 04:25 PM
I would let my child play with a WII if he did not want to go and play alone in his bedroom - and why should he its his home too

What would you do if you took your camera into the lounge or play room? Would the children expect to use it ? NO because you would explain that it is not a toy and that it belongs to you

I would explain in much the same way

Kids have to learn to share

They also have to learn that they can not have everything they see

Angel xx


I agree with Angels point

xx

Sarsar3NCH
20-02-2008, 04:29 PM
Thanks everyone,

I think I can explain this ok to the kids but the parents worry me. My young mindees (2 families) are allowed to play WII at home but that is their issue. One of the mums asked why I wouldn't let her son play with my sons PSP, I told her it was too expensive and also the games were not suitable. SHe may have a problem wit the WII but I feel that my kids need time to enjoy themselves in their school hols too, it is not their fault that the lo's are here, but also if the lo's were not here, neither would I be!!


Thanks again


Sarah

angeldelight
20-02-2008, 04:31 PM
Well its your home your rules your kids stuff

To be honest its nothing to do with another parent what you do with your own kids toys

What a damn cheek

Angel xx

wendywu
20-02-2008, 05:35 PM
Well i doubt if parents would be too happy if they were handed a bill for a replacement PSP that was broken! Perhaps we should try it:panic: