View Full Version : 6 year old fed up

23-07-2009, 01:48 PM
I'm tearing my hair out here. I have looked after this little boy since he started school 2 years ago, he comes every day 7.30-6.30pm 5 days a week 50 weeks a year. After school seems fine as I have another little girl age 5 and my son age nearly 4. They all play well together. Will play games, play outside, draw, make things, paint, dressing up, etc etc

Summer hols started on Monday just gone and he has been in a complete sulk ALL week. Everything I get out he doesn't want to play, he sits out of all our craft activities and even when my son went playing outside he just sat on the garden chair swinging his legs :( I spoke to Dad who said the issue is because every evening after being at my house he plays out on the street with 4 other kids aged 7, 8, 12 and 13. They are all at home playing in the street during the holidays as their parents don't work and mindee is upset because he feels he is missing out :panic:

We went to the park yesterday and he spent 40 mins on the same swing....today we went to ice cream parlour and he sat facing away from me ate 1/2 ice cream then left the rest.

I hear him talking to my son saying things like "it's so boring here", "there's nothing to do". When I talk to him about it he clams up and won't speak.

He has a short attention span and is always in a rush to finish first, whether it be making cards or eating he rushes EVERYTHING. Nothing is his best work and he often doesn't join in with planned activities.

I'm at the end of my tether, anyone any ideas?

23-07-2009, 04:46 PM
if it were me i would make a big fuss of the other children when they are doing and activity and ignore him, if its only sulking then its his choice not to join in, talk to the parents again, explain the activities you have put out that day then explain how he didnt want to join in but sat sulking insted, you could maybe ask them for ideas of how to deal with it and of what he could do.
as for eating half the ice-cream next time you buy them just give him a smaller one

23-07-2009, 04:57 PM
I have a 9 yr old exactly the same. I have his 3 yr old brother all year round and him just in holidays.

They have spent today in the garden as it was lovely weather wise. But he kept coming back in and asking to play the Wii and I kept saying No.

Anything I offer is not good enough and he, like your one, says quietly to my children I am bored.

We have the same issue as he is allowed to play out at home but not here (even my kids dont play out!)

I only have him tomorrow and then 2 weeks of him and then he is going to Dads - I am secretly quite glad!!:blush:

23-07-2009, 05:03 PM
It's very hard when they are allowed free rein at home... parents must make the rules clear without apologising.

The amount of times over the years I've heard - sorry you've got to go to the childminders house blah blah I wouldn't make you go but I've got to go to work...

It makes it very difficult then for us to pick up the pieces. :rolleyes:

I agree ignoring, informing parents what you are doing and why then get on with the others. Good luck x

23-07-2009, 05:07 PM
I dont think i would want my 6 year old roaming the streets with 12 and 13 year olds.

I suppose it takes all sorts.:panic:

The Juggler
23-07-2009, 05:49 PM
I woudn't either. THis is hard - Can't imagine letting a 6 year old play out!

If it's really bad I would give notice - he might be better in a school holiday club. There are usually lots of people looking for holiday care and I'm sure there is a child out there who will really appreciate the kind of thoughtful planning and activities you provide.

23-07-2009, 06:05 PM
Thanks folks - I had a word with Dad again and he confirmed my suspicions about it being missing his "mates" and nothing to do with the quality of activities provided etc (Thank goodness). Problem is I take things personally and I don't really know how to make him enjoy his time here after parents drop him off saying "i've told you Mummy and Daddy have to go to work" etc etc.

Thing is I would love to go on days out to the zoo etc but last time we went to sea life centre it cost me £20 and I only had 1 mindee. The parents won't contribute to outings so all I can stretch to is soft play and ice creams, parks and picnics etc.

My hubby has got his old mega drive out tonight and mindee was glued to the TV when his Dad came, I just know what Ofsted would think about that! I feel like piggy in the middle some times.

When he first started he was very immature and got on really well with my little boy but now he's got these older friends he seems to have grown up all of a sudden and is more like a sulky teenager than a young child.

I don't agree with the playing out and he brags about it to my son (who is not even 4 yet lol) which doesn't go down well.

I guess it's all down to experience and the under 5's are really no trouble at all compared to after school/holiday children!

23-07-2009, 06:14 PM
i know what you mean about taking it personally cause im like that too.
I pay for all trips etc as i always worry that i will get one parent who cant afford the trips then we cant go. this year i have bought all the children (3 in total) yearly cards for our local zoo, we only have to visit twice and they have paid for themselves ifyswim, we go to the zoo once a week all through the year, each week we go to a different part so they never get board, yesterday we left at 8.45am and got home at 3.30pm with everybody pooped and happy. i did this because it was cheaper to buy yearly tickets at £25per child (i would buy mine and my kids anyway) than to go to a different place each week, there is so much at the zoo that we really dont need to go to other animal places, the rest of the week we visit parks, nature reserves, woodlands, the libary etc. when at home we do baking, painting, sticking, water and sand play and other messy play, lots of games in the garden and indoors and they are allowed on the wii each day, half hour each if i have all of them or 1hour each (spread thorugh the day) if only the 4 of them. its only been a week but its working so far this year so fingers crossed i shouldnt have any problems. the age range is from 20 months up to my daughter at 10yrs.

23-07-2009, 07:35 PM
Thanks - that's a really good idea! And at my local zoo under 3's go free! So only 2 tickets to buy :D And I had always avoided the zoo with little ones as it's so big and such a long way round - this way we can visit often and they still get their afternoon naps!

23-07-2009, 07:59 PM
Could you afford to go somewhere special towards the end of the holiday. Tell him that you understand how he feels but if he is a little more settled then you'll all go on a trip together at the end of the break. Perhaps get him to design his own reward chart/count down to the trip chart.

23-07-2009, 09:28 PM
Is your local council running any free sports activity days you could all go to, national play day is coming up worth checking your local parks for activities, I think its the 5th august,but that needs checking. Check out the childrens centre many are running activities.
The comments about children playing out are relevent depending on where you live, I live in a cul d sac in a rural village with a field outside which we overlook and many local children play fab games, the older children organise, I usually supply all the games equipment and the children play for hours. My youngest is 4 I also have a 7,12 and 14 year old and they all play together, they don't roam the streets, and they all look out for each other.
Can you organise a quiz and find day, where he has to answer simple clues to find a piece of a simple puzzle with a prize at the end or we go for walks and have to mark off the alphabet on a board from house names or we make up any adventure games for the boys, get a bug box and see if he can find bugs to care for. Binoculars are good fun for bird spotting, he could make a book, get him to organise an assault course for the little ones, make him needed and maybe he'll join in. I think ignoring him is ok for a while but a bit mean if it goes on, hopefully it will bring him round though.

The Juggler
24-07-2009, 06:55 AM
we don't do anything that expensive. My son gets so bored with all the park trips.

However, sometimes we go n a short train ride to another bigger park, such as one with small petting zoo, boating lake, mazes, or a museum (which are both free) for a day out. I only have to pay my train fare, take a picnic and maybe buy and ice-cream. all under 10's are free on London transport. If that's not the case with you how about a family ticket.