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childmind04
21-07-2009, 10:01 PM
I have had such an awful day with 2 of my toddlers 17 and 23 months, we were at the local toddler group and they had me run ragged, both of then were little monsters with other children, hitting, scratching and just being horrid, i had so many comments from parents and other cm's to the point i was nearly in tears :( , they were really bad, at one point the older one actually went to a sleeping baby and scratched all his face as i was fastening another childs lace :panic:

It was a case of, i was seeing to one and the other would do something while i was busy, i tried to get them to join in with various activites but all ended in tears from others, one went home early but the other continued to hit and scractch and throw things all teatime, i had a word with parents and tried to say (without sounding to negative) how they had been and both laughed, one parent said as his son came to him that he looks like he is glad to get out of here :eek:

I know they can all go through these things but i am feeling very bad and thought some of you might have some words of wisdom, thankfully my older ones were very good today but i can see them getting sick of me needing to keep these 2 under control

The Juggler
21-07-2009, 10:47 PM
oh honey don't feel bad. I only had 1 child like this and was often in tears it was often me he scratched when I took him to calm down after he scratched other children. I really feel for you.

It is hard. Trick is if they don't stop, they sit with you for set time or you go everywhere with them. It does run you ragged - 3 under 5's is hard work but especially if 3 livewires like this.


I would suggest if you are out go with another minder friend/colleague so you can watch out for each other on toilet runs, shoe fastenings and don't be on top of the children but be really close (means very little sitting) but can work. I found my little one would then look and check before he did anything. If I was in eyesight, he wouldnt'.

This was years ago but he was only 2.

PM if you need some moral support.

margimum
22-07-2009, 06:46 AM
They sometimes seem to play off each other don't they?
I've had a couple of these "challenging" children and found myself literally spinning from 1 to the other at times as they attacked each other and other children.
My only suggestion would be to strap each into a buggy or highchair next to you until calm.
One idea I found really works is an egg timer thing with sand in. The child watches the sand go through and it has an amazingly calming effect!!!
REally like magic. He/ she often wants just to sit and keep turning for several minutes.
Stick with it and hope you can get support(moral and practical) from parents and other cm.

nannymcflea
22-07-2009, 01:02 PM
How are you disciplining this behaviour? I know they are young but they are still old enough to know that you are angry about what they are doing. Keep the boundaries the same, don't threaten, do what you have said, be it time out in the pushchair or having to sit with you, even if it means having both on your lap for a few mins.

do praise them when they have done anything at all you have asked them, or have been gentle or have shared...anything that will encourage the good stuff.

You're doing nothing wrong, keep at it and hopefully soon all will be peaceful.

Goatgirl
22-07-2009, 01:29 PM
HI,
Sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. I would have been very upset at the Dad's reaction, although he probably just wasn't thinking.
I agree with other posters that you just need to try to relax and introduce some calm discipline that the children can relate to. Positive behaviour reinforcement is great as the children will prefer you when you're being happy and proud, just as you prefer to be around them when they're playing happily.
Remember that this sort of behaviour is also quite normal and most if not all toddlers will go through a hitting/scratching/snatching phase. Not easy to deal with but consistency, although exhausting, will pay off in the end. Its amazing how quickly they learn at such young ages though, so fingers crossed it wont be long before these two have transformed from monsters to angels. Good luck with it.
bws, wendy :)

youarewhatyoueat
22-07-2009, 02:19 PM
Could you not change their hours so you could take them to one activity seperately so they can learn how to behave with you on their own with no distraction, otherwise one at a time in the buggy, heaps of praise for the good behaviour and distraction when you are watching them like a hawk and they are about to scratch. If you can't manage them together at the toddlers I wouldn't go, it's not a great advert for future business, people talk and may remember you. Thats not meant as a critisism of how you are handling the situation so please don't take it that way but some people are very single minded.
Perhaps try a soft play area or the park or just a romp in the woods. It's not worth having a miserable day or you will dread them coming, some children are just not suited to confined spaces, find out more what they do with their family and add to that. But if you want to keep going I would make sure they aren't hungry or tired and stay for half hour to an hour and then go, or go for the last hour. Perhaps they need a sleep first, I take 2 16 month olds to a toddler group and they arrive asleep, I transfer them to the buggy, let them have another 10 minutes and wake the first up and play for half hour before waking the second one. It works for us, just try a different method. Good luck. x