Lunch Ideas

[Kaz1997]

I really need some ideas for meals at lunch time for one particular mindee. Unfortunately this child is very fussy although Mum insists she eats most foods... (I've yet to see it)
Mum insists that the child MUST NOT have sandwiches and MUST have cooked meals. I dread lunch time as I know that most of the food will be put in the bin and the child will just sit and give out the most filthiest of looks and point blank refuse to eat. The mother then gets narky with me "do you mean to tell me that my child has not eaten since breakfast".
Am I meant to force feed the child .... of course not!
I have asked for a list of foods the child likes and all I get is that she likes most things, I loathe asking again.
Currently I have managed to get her to eat:

Hot dogs
Spagetti on toast
chicken nuggets/chips
pop corn chicken/crispy potatoes/spagetti rings

I have tried various vegetables and the child will not eat them, I know she will eat spagetti but now mum has asked me to only let her have that once a week.....

Any ideas would be appreciated, this parent is not the easiest to get along with unfortunately.

Many thanks Kaz x

[katickles]

well personally I would just persivere (sp) & keep on at mum saying that the child isn't eating.

Have you tried getting the child to write a menu with you (if old enough) of the things the child like/wants to eat?

Also things shaped into things - ie home made pizza with faces, or toad in the hole (hedgehogs)

Let the child help prepare the meals - all these are great obviously if the child is old enough to help.

I know its hard, my dd is only 2 & is so fussy it scares me as she's as light as a feather!

[Lyns123]

Hi

My mindees are quite fussy as well, the things i cook are

Homemade cajun wedges (so easy, don't even need to peel the potatoes)
Spagetti bolognese & garlic bread
Jacket potatoes but have a few bowls out where they can create their own filling, e.g. cheese, beans or spagetti hoops, sweetcorn, tuna mayo
You could make your pizzas but use halved english muffins as the base
Bubble and squeek
shepherds pie
lasagne
fish cakes with beans and roasted veg

there is more but it would be a long list, some will eat well while others won't even try it, if they don't eat then they aren't offered any alternatives (parents know this and agree), i always give the tricky ones really small portions at first and if they eat they can have more, if they don't then if i can freeze whats left and save for another day then i will (not the portion they would of had, the stuff which is left in the pan)

the trick to get my kids to eat veg is i either make a vegetable burger with some spices or i roast them, they love roasted vegetables!!

[Kaz1997]

This child is 3 and is so small, also as light as a feather. The child is the most defiant I have ever cared for and if I could I would give notice, the mother is also hard work.... I can not do right for doing wrong!!!
In 11 years I have never dealt with a parent or child like this and have no problems with any of my other parents of children.
The child can be loving but can not keep still at all (ants in pants constantly) will not help tidy up (but can make one hell of a mess) Is loud all the time and totally wired. To be honest I should look like twiggy as she keeps me on my toes.. lol
I only wish I could get her to eat, I have tried to get her to help prepare meals but that is a nightmare as she wont slow down and things get dropped, broken and she wont listen.
Its a shame and I do want to percievere with her.

[her8y]

My DS is a really fussy eater to the point I took him to the doctors when he was small. My dd eats anything put in front of her!

Is your mindee doing this as a control thing?? or does she genuinely not like certain foods?

I would also involve them in the menu if old enough but be prepared for the standard chips and nuggets reply. (my ds doesnt eat either!)

Have you tried pasta dishes, cauliflower cheese, omlette, jacket potatoes,hiding vegetables in bolognaise, shepherds pie, pizza etc

[Kaz1997]

Have tried pizza, she wont eat cheese
Have tried spag. bol she wont even attempt it
and can you believe she wont eat a buger


:angry: pulling my hair out at times... lol

Thanks for the suggestions though and I will try some of them.

Kaz x

[her8y]

I would pluck up the courage and speak to mum again.
Could you prepare a weeks menu (time consuming I know) and get mum to confirm which choices mindee would eat? At least that way you will know if child is being fussy or genuine.:D

[georgie456]

Have you tried omelettes?

That's all I can come up with for now!

[Mouse]

If it keeps on I would ask mum to send food for her. She could send something that you can heat up and if it's something she would normally eat at home, then you know mindee is just being awkward if she refuses to eat it for you.

One thing that I make with/for the children is muffin pizzas. I halve & grill one side of a breakfast muffin, top it with some tomato sauce or puree, sprinkle on some cheese and put on a varity of toppings (ham, sweetcorn, pineapple etc). Then just grill it again until cooked. The children love them. I serve them with some salad. They're quick to make, quite healthy depending on the topping and the kids love them!

[georgie456]

One thing that I make with/for the children is muffin pizzas. I halve & grill one side of a breakfast muffin, top it with some tomato sauce or puree, sprinkle on some cheese and put on a varity of toppings (ham, sweetcorn, pineapple etc). Then just grill it again until cooked. The children love them. I serve them with some salad. They're quick to make, quite healthy depending on the topping and the kids love them!

Ooh I did these a couple of weeks back and the kids loved it - anythings worth a try I guess, but I agree that eventually I would be asking mum to send food if the child just isn't eating what you are providing.

[Helen79]

I would also be asking mum to bring her own food in. There's now way I'm cooking a cooked meal just for one child.

We have a cold lunch here, sandwiches, toast, fruit & yogurt etc & cooked dinner in the evening. I haven't got time to be cooking twice so if any parent wanted their child to have a cooked meal then they would be bringing it themselves.

[julie w]

I looked after 2 brothers a few years ago and they ate waffles and beans every day for the entire 6 week holidays. I tried so hard but just threw food away.

[haribo]

i would ask mum to provide her lunch :thumbsup:

[Kaz1997]

Have you ever had one of those Mum's who when you have to approach them it makes you feel all nervous, on the loo before she arrives and your tummy in knots.... thats how she makes me feel, so I really don't want to ask her again!
Just got back from the shops and I asked the child what she would like, she said no to everything and then sat on the shop floor and would not budge.. it took me 10 mins to coax her off the floor and the other mindees could not work it out... I think the child does it to try and wind me up!
We have settled on burgers today, but on the way home she then said I dont like them...... its almost time to dish up so I will let you all know how this goes. LOL
I love the sound of the muffin pizzas and will defo give them a try, just leave the cheese off hers!

Thanks all of you.
Love Kaz

[Zoomie]

I am a bit stuck for suitable snacks, for when we are out, but that's another thread.

Appreciate that mum is hard to approach but could you ask mum to prepare some food, so that you can see what it looks like. (Don't tell mum this, as she will probably just give instructions, but it really is the presentation that you want to see).

Sounds like a control thing to me though.

Good luck

[Louise_Oaktree]

I could be getting wrong end of the stick here but I have had the same problems with an 18 mths old mindee. It got so bad he wouldn't even sit in highchair without screaming.

It turned out he was tired, he doesn't get a good nights sleep and was not used to sleeping in his own bed. I always know when he's slept all night because he's a different child. I found hungry children won't sleep and tired children won't eat and it's a vicious circle.

Also I found things parents were doing at home were affecting his behaviour, like he was sitting on the sofa for meals and eating off Mum's plate so wouldn't entertain any food unless it was from my plate! They also give him bottles of milk if he refuses to eat!

It was a really stressful time and without communication with Mum I doubt I would have ever got to the bottom of it.

These parents also did child-led weaning which means this child won't eat anything off a spoon :eek:

She also didn't want him to have bread every day :rolleyes: so sandwiches were out of the question. Then she said she didn't have time to prepare the meals she wants him to eat.

He's leaving to go to nursery and be fed on a conveyor belt the same food each week but if it makes parents happy :p

Now I know why he's like that I have got on much better. Like making the pizzas and putting on whatever mum sends like babybel cheese and beans etc as for the bread thing I just don't mention it unless she asks what he has eaten - that way I'm not fibbing and she's not stressing!

I actually feel more relaxed now he's leaving as I don't worry too much about upsetting her!

[katickles]

I really feel for you stressing about the mum - but & I know you really don't want to, but I do think a chat with mum is waht you'll need to do :(

Do you do a daily diary & include what she's eaten or not at lunch times?

Also what about desserts, do you offer these? And snacks in between? Just thinking that she may know that it doesn't matter if she eats lunch as she know's that she'll get a dessert afterwards, & may hve already had a mid morning snack before hand anyway.

Maybe ask mum to jot down what meals she's eaten at home that week - if mum makes bolognase & that is she using a jar of sauce or home made, then see if thats where the differences are.

Also like mentioned above - where does she sit to eat at home? That maybe a big issue as if its in the lounge she maybe eating at home & still playing so therefore at your house thinking she's missing out on playing & thinking that she just wants to go straight off & play!

Are your meals set times? ie does she have a set routine? Mine have lunch then nappy changes & bed & they all know it:laughing:

Good luck - trust me with my dd being the same I know just how hard & draining it can be.

[sweets]

mine do the same, lunch, nappies and bed. Feel a bit mean tho as when one 2yr old mindee is given a dessert she starts crying as she knows whats coming! lol

[Helen79]

It also sounds like mum has fussy ideals of what her child should be eating & thats may be rubbing off on the child. It does sound like a control issue.

I'd try not to give too many choices, just give an option of 2 meals, spaghetti OR beans on toast & if she doesn't eat what she chooses then no pudding with no fuss made.

I found with my fussy eater that all they ate at home was processed food, everything came from a packet & they never ate anything home cooked.
I found out he liked noodles so made a stirfry, only to find that he didn't know what it was because he meant he liked supernoodles :rolleyes: It was more a case of he didn't know what foods like vegetables were so was scared to try them.

I agree with asking mum to do a meal diary of what she eats at home to find out what she eats there.
Also what does she eat for breakfast? is she eating loads & filling up before she comes in the morning.

[Mouse]

It could also be that mindee doesn't actually eat very well at home, despite what mum says, and that she's hoping you can be the one to get her eating.
Mum does sound a bit vague about what the daughter eats, so you might find that in reality they have the same problem with it at home, but she's not telling you that.

You do need to try to pin mum down on what the daughter actually eats.

[ZoeAlli]

I am sorry to hear your mum is a little difficult to approach (I have one of them too!!), but I think the advice you have been given about arranging to talk to the mum is good. Maybe you could arrange for the mum to come and have a meal with you and the mindee? Is there a special event coming up in the child's/ family's life such as a birthday?I know you have said the lo is 3, but you could get her to design/ colour some invites, decide on the food, and make some table decorations for the event? Surely the mum could not resist something like this that has been done specially for her by her child!?!
If mum agrees then hopefully you will be able to see where the problem is.
Hope you can get through this and child settles with their eating.:(

[Kaz1997]

The childs mother is not her maternal mother so she really is a text book mum.
Obviously I can't go into why!! Confidentiality and all that...
Meal times are set and she sits at the table with the other children, she never sits still at the table and always makes the excuse that she needs the toilet (even though I make sure she goes before the meal|) Apparently she eats at the table at home too and I do have to log everything in a diary.
The thing is if I write that she hasn't eaten, I usually get a sarcastic comment, like its my fault.
The child starts nursery in September (god help the nursery) the thing is they wont put up with the mum the way I do. She expects too much, blimey she wants the child counting to 20+ already, its a joke!
Anyway, lunch went ok today, she didn't eat the sweetcorn. I also gave her grapes and kiwi fruit and she wouldn't eat the kiwi. I spoke to her nan when she collected and she told me that she eats kiwi at home and as for the sweetcorn, she wont eat it cos its yellow. She said just keep offering her the food and that she will hopefully eat it eventually... I don't know about any of you, but one of my pet hates is throwing good food (Which I Pay For) into the bin, especiallly when I think of some children in this world who would give their right arm for a decent meal...

Sorry if I am going on to much, lack of sleep due to power cut last night and only get 2 hours sleep due to house alarm going off all throught the night.

Love Kaz