View Full Version : Not sure what to do!!! quite sensitive...

11-07-2009, 03:25 PM
I had a friend who is a childminder, when I told her that I was thinking of registering she went really funny with me! anyway I thought I am not gonna let her stop me so here I am fully registered (without any help from "my friend")
Now I have done all my training I can see that "my friend" does NOT do things right!!!!

1. She often has too many under 5's

2.The lo's are allowed to play outside unsupervised and whilst dog poo is around ( the lo's actually come in and tell her the dog has done one)

3.I heard her call a 7 year old mindee stupid in the playground

4.She uses the wrong car seats for the lo's

5.Her and one of her minding friend goes to the local pub for lunch and lets the lo's play on the outdoor equipment whilst they have dinner

6.she tells me confidential things about mindees and their families

7.Her grown up son has moved back in with her without a crb check done on him
8.overflowing dog food bowls on the floor of every room in the house

9.I have never seen her doing any activities with the lo's and I have never actually seen her playing with them either

I could probably go on all day, but I am sure you get the jist of it...
I just think it is soooo unfair that we have to do all this training and paperwork ect... and yet the cm are just doing as they please it really gets my back up, I don't know what to do about her, what she does is just so WRONG :angry: :angry:
What would you all do? do I keep quiet or do I make a call to Ofsted?:huh:

I am trying to keep my distance from her as I don't want to be tarred with the same brush.

Mmmmm feels better getting it off my chest :) sorry it's long x x x

11-07-2009, 03:31 PM
Hmmmm Tricky.

Sounds to me like this is the reason she was none too happy when you said you were registering!!

Do you think the children in her care are at risk of coming to harm? if so i would ring ofsted and report her.

how do you know she doesnt have a variation for the under 5s? and how do you know she hasnt has the crb done for the son? Im not saying you are not right, but just be careful not to jump to conclusions.

Regarding the activities, why are the parents not questioning why no activities have been done? I mean one or 2 lazy days fine, but if it were my child i would want to know what they had been doing all day!!

I dont know what i would do tbh, but if i thought there was any risk at all to the children, i would definatly ring ofsted.

11-07-2009, 03:35 PM
yeah thats a toughy

if you ring ofsted and can't back up would they still investigate?? i dunno how that works,

chewy sweets
11-07-2009, 03:47 PM
Yeh i'd be careful.
I'd be annoyed too if someone i knew was doing that and i'd worked really hard to provide a quality, professional service and they obviously couldn't be bothered!
How close to her are you ? if you did report her to ofsted would she suspect you as your obviously her compertition now.
What i'm really trying to say is would you miss her that much if you were no longer friends?
If you think the kids could come into harm and you don't mind taking the risk of loosing her as a friend i'd report her. But be cautious!

11-07-2009, 03:49 PM
Hi thanks, I know the son doesn't have a crb beacause she told me she can't be bothered with it all and she hopes he isn't there long!!!

She definatley doesn't have a variation for under 5's again she told me before I registered that 3 is all WE are allowed.

I don't know what to do ?????
The children are left unsupervised ALOT of the time I nipped around hers a few weeks back to pick something up, she was sat in the front room on the computer whilst 2 3 year olds where playing in the rest of the house and in the garden, she went in the kitchen and one of the lo's wasn't there, she shouted, no answer, after us all looking for about 5 mins we found the lo hiding under the dining table??????

x x x

11-07-2009, 03:56 PM
I think if you have a concern that the children could come to harm then you have no choice but to report - out of professional and moral duty. Ofsted WILL keep it anon if you ask them to but sometimes the information you give them can announce it was you loud and clear.

Do you have a good CDO? Perhaps you could pass that concern onto them instead OR if you ring NCMA they have a safeguarding advisor for each area that you could talk to first and often if you aren't comfortable ringing Ofsted then they may do it for you - that way you can honestly say it wasn't you who rung Ofsted.

If she is talking to you about confidential information they you won't be the only one - same again goes with the other information she is telling you (ie the CRB).

At the very least all of this is bad practice, at the worst its dangerous practice.

If you think the children are at no 'significant risk of harm' then tbh i would stand back and prove a point by being better than her.

Lick'le Oakes
11-07-2009, 05:00 PM
This is exactly my situation. "My friend got me into childminding in the first place, thought i was daft doing all the training, policies risk assessments etc. Kept telling me there was no need for them. All your complaints above are so similar we could be talking about the same person! Anyway she was reported (not by me) she had 12 complaints made towards her. (Ofsted visited, gave her actions and that was it, basicaly she got away with it and is still minding just as bad). That night she came round mine along with a couple of other friends, hers not mine, crying etc. The next day i went round hers, cleaned her house throwing stuff away etc. Helping her to get it together thinking these complaints will give her the kick up the **** she needed. Anyway to cut along story short, she has fallen out with me over this, she thinks i reported her to Ofsted and i can honestly say i didn't. Anyway why would i, she was a friend and i had given up loads of time to help her in loads of different ways. Now it is extreamly awkward between us, she goes to the same school as my children, has made nasty comments to my son and daughter. She came in the hairdressers the other day while i was sitting there getting my hair cut, sat down next to me and started talking about her friends that betrayed her etc. To the other hairdresser in a loud voice. The list could go on, she makes me have a panic attack everytime i see her or even her car.
Sorry for going on but i know exactly how you feel, and me personnaly if the children arn't at risk then i would keep away, saying that, i did try and help her and felt that by being her freind i was helping look after the children but in the end look what happened.:angry: :angry:

Now on a more positive note since not being asscociated with her, more people are talking to me and i really am glad i am out of her situation as the more i hear what others say about it i should off been more aware in the first place.

11-07-2009, 06:08 PM
The right thing to do would be to report her, but in all honesty I doubt Ofsted would actually do much. I think a lot of us know childminders like that and I know of ones who have been reported. Ofsted have visited, slapped their wrists, then let them carry on pretty much as before. It hardly seems worth the effort of reporting them :(

11-07-2009, 06:48 PM
i have to agree with the other if you think the kids are in danger def report as u would never forgive yourself if something happened.

Unfortunatly Ofsted seem to be aware of these types of childminders, they give them a verbal warning and not much else. A minder in my area lives with a raging alcoholic and has often left the kids with him whilst she "pops to the shops" ofsted are fully aware of this but has never done anything about it

11-07-2009, 07:53 PM
Totally shocked at all this! :eek: So basically these people can get away with it, just get a verbal warning. What about their Ofsted report, don't they have 'actions'?
And it also begs the question, "Why do the parents keep sending their kids there?"
And WHY do we (the good ones), get so worried about our inspections? When the worst thing they can do to us is give a verbal warning?
Ye gods!:panic:

The Juggler
12-07-2009, 02:50 PM
The right thing to do would be to report her, but in all honesty I doubt Ofsted would actually do much. I think a lot of us know childminders like that and I know of ones who have been reported. Ofsted have visited, slapped their wrists, then let them carry on pretty much as before. It hardly seems worth the effort of reporting them :(

you're right. i reported someone anonymously to ofsted for road safety concerns. They called her before visiting, then checked her register!!!! told her to get it up to date. Asked her if she was taking care by the road (to which she obviously said yes!) then went away.

Chatterbox Childcare
12-07-2009, 03:50 PM
Whether Ofsted do or do not do anything is by the by. What is important here is our duty as a childminder to safeguard ALL children, including those not in our care. If you feel that this childminder is putting her children in danger then you should contact someone, not necessarily Ofsted but if you are a member of NCMA there are representatives there that can help you, even if it is just someone to talk to.

PM me if you want more details.

You can also talk to your Development Office, Network, Early Years Unit. We take action and then the next department takes the responsbility.

Think twice and do the right thing.

12-07-2009, 04:26 PM
What she said ^ Children's safety first, always.

Nicki L
12-07-2009, 04:40 PM
This certainly is a tough one - i really dont know what i'd do in this situation.

If the children are at risk you should report it but then it could leave you in a tricky situation.

Good luck whatever you decide hun xx

13-07-2009, 05:18 PM
Thank you all soo much for your advice :)
I am not bothered much about the "friendship" I have (had) with this person, I am going to watch her for the rest of this week and if I see anything I think maybe putting the lo's at risk I will report her !!! Like you all said if something should happen I would never forgive myself.
This does annoy me soo much that we have to do so much training and waiting to become registered that these "old school minders" just are not bothered.
Thank you all again x x x