Friend needs help

[It's a small world]

Hi

Just spoke to my friend who has recently become a childminder. She has a little boy of about 2 had him a few weeks and everything was fine but this last week when mum has dropped him off he has screamed and got all upset. 5 mins after mum has gone he's fine then every half hour or so he stops doing what he's doing and just screams for mummy.. she's tried to do different things but he just won't interact. She's getting paranoid that mum might think shes no good. She tells mum he's fine after she's gone but not mentioned the little outbursts during the day. Also he's not interested in many things apart from farms as grandparents live on one and thats where hes been for the last 2 years as his mum works in the farm shop...
Does any one have any ideas what to do. He's also started snatching toys of her little boy too..he's hard work as doesn't talk very well for his age and very rarely has any facial expressions or anything....he just wantsa to be outside running around freely as this is what he's had on the farm, but obviously the weather doesn't always permit and my friend has to think about safety and can't just let him run off down the street as its a little different from a farm where he can play with the chickens iykwim...
Sorry to go on but friend is getting desperate and doesn't want her first to be her last...


Any help from experienced childminders appreciated and I will pass this on. Hope my first is a little straight forward

[sarah707]

my first thought is that she needs to be honest with the boy's mum. It is no good saying he is ok during the day when he is clearly not. This isn't about her, it's about a child who is not happy.

It will take longer than this for him to settle and she needs to let him out if that's what he's used to doing. If it's raining, put him in a coat and let him choose whether he wants to be outside. She'll be making her job harder if she keeps him in by the sounds of it.

She needs to get to know him before she can really start to develop his play. It sounds like he doesn't know how to play so she needs to gently start introducing new ideas while working with what she knows he likes - eg maybe singing farm / animal songs, doing a farm jigsaw together, using some farmyard puppets (make them on lolly sticks), writing on cow shaped paper, drawing sheep with chalk on the patio, making a sheep with cotton wool ... he might not know how to do crafts, so she might have to sit and do them herself to demonstrate.

And of course if his speech is a little slow, she needs to talk to him all day!

I really hope this helps! Tell her I wish her all the best :D

[Louise_Oaktree]

All excellent ideas Sarah :D :clapping: and what about taking him out? Sometimes this is enough to take their mind off Mummy - you could just go for a walk with the buggy - or a picnic in the park where there is loads of room to run around?

I don't think the behaviour is unusual given the circumstances but deffo be honest with Mum, I think the outbursts will get less as he settles just try to keep him busy and ask Mum what sort of things he likes.

If you spend every day in the park with a football for a week and it works you can build on it from there...JMHO

Also be sure to tell your friend it isn't anything she is doing and don't let it affect her confidence ;)

How often and for how long is he attending the CM?

[It's a small world]

She only has him a couple of weeks I think that might be part of it as he's not with her that long and think he's so used to being with mum and getting his own way as she is busy so goes off with gran to feed the chicks or just run around getting dirty and doing what he wants. My friend wants to try and get him into some routine as due get more mindees soon.
She does get him out and about but then has some school children and he doesn't want to go as playing. She does talk to him and tries to 'reason' with him and talks about dfferent things to occupy him whilst getting him ready and getting him in car ( I've told her it will take time as so used to being on his own and running free) Feel like I know the child personnally as she's asked my advice but as i'm still pre reg thought I would check if everyone had the same suggestions as me and sounds like you do.

I will pass this info on .. and tell her not to get disheartened...

[angeldelight]

Good advice from everyone

It is early days though and it does take some children a while to settle down
He is still getting used to the changes around him and getting used to his childminder who is a complete stranger to him

Hope it works out for your friend

Angel xx