mum doesn't like toddlers religious sing song

[misst104]

Hi there ladies and gents, wondered what you would do in this situation.

I am starting to mind 2 lo's in Sept and was planning on taking then to a local toddler group that is FAB. Best one around here I think but there is a problem. The group is at a church and whilst there's no religious things going on during most of the session, at the end they do a sing song which is very religion orientated ie. all the songs are thanking god, who built the ark etc...

I am not particularly religious myself and think that at the age of the kids they don't really get the whole thing and just enjoy the singing. Its a really lovely sing song, they use puppets, props, real animals etc...

Anyway, this mum in question went along a week or so ago and I overheard her at another group telling someone that the singing freaked her out and that her hubbie had told her not to go again as he didn't want them "getting involved in that sort of thing!!"

So question is should I talk to mum about it or just leave it and tell her we are going and wait until she says something to me????

Sorry its a bit long!!!!!!!


xxx jo

[Blackhorse]

I think I would wait for her to mention something to you but I would prepare in my mind what I will say once she askes about it iyswim.

I am going to a mothers and toddlers group at a church too and I am not religious myself, but I don't mind my dd singing their songs or doing arts and crafts that have a christian theme.
I can't see what is wrong with that and I also don't think she actually really cares what kind of picture she is painting, gluing etc..

but if parent is really against it I guess there is nothing much you can actually do about it...

[Lady Haha]

I must admit, before I started minding, I took my own song to a group that was like this. It was brilliant before the singing started! I'm not religious at all and didn't want my son having this stuff 'forced' on him at that age. I am not anti religious, just didn't think he was old enough. I didn't take him again for this reason. Sorry!

He is now at school and seven and they have taught him about different religions and beliefs etc which I prefer. He has decided he does believe in god and all the bible stories. I am happy with that as I feel he is old enough now to make up his own mind.

Sorry, not the reply you wanted, but others might disagree with me!

[misst104]

really not looking for one reply or another as I can go on a different day with other mindees if needs be, just interested in what others thoughts were really :)

xx jo

[Chatterbox Childcare]

If I were going them I would just tell mum it is a toddler group and if she asks which one them tell her. If not, why open a can of worms?

[Deb]

I think you should speak to Mum and respect her wishes - you dont have to agree with them, would you respect the wishes of a Sikh family that didnt want you to take their child into a christian building? I dont think you should go if parent have expressed a preference.

[misst104]

Of course I will respect the parents wishes! She hasn't actually said anything to me though, just overheard the conversation she was having. I will have to wait and see I think. I do hope nobody thinks I am passing any judgement on what is right or wrong. Just a question thats all :(

xxx

[misst104]

Could also go to the first part and then leave before the singing. She did think the first part was nice!

xxx

[Lady Haha]

I don't think anyone thinks you're passing judgement, don't worry!

If I was you, I would do as you say and just take them to the first part. If the toddler group organisers are a bit funny about that, which I can see they might be, you could just tell them that it's mum's decision not yours. Or say mindee needs to get back for his nap or he'll fall asleep on the way home!

[Twinkles]

As a Christian I always tell parents before they sign up that the toddler group we go to has a few Bible based activities and we have Christian books around the house. Hasn't been a problem even for a Sikh family - they liked the fact that I had religious beliefs.

I would tell the parent that you go to that toddler group and if she doesn't like it she can send lo on a different day. You have to consider the other children in your care too , why should they miss out just because of one Dad.

[Louise_Oaktree]

What about EYFS? Isn't this all part of widening the picture for children to respect other beliefs etc?

I am C of E and my son will be going to a Church School who have worship every day but I would have no problem in singing other religious songs with the children, as it's my job to ensure they respect and learn about different cultures and beliefs.

As for parents I would explain this to them and I would definitely not make other mindees miss out just for 1 child :(

[Deb]

did realise that it was an overheard comment, in that case I would ignore it and go.

[Erika]

When she signed up did she complete a form which asked about religious beliefs? If she has put "non religious" or "atheist" then that would have to be respected. Personally I'm not religious but I am not against it either, and am happy for my little ones to partake in religious based activities, so long as they are taught a wide range of religions. My daughter is taught christianity at school, and I don't agree with it being taught, because I think that they should be introduced to a variety of beliefs or not taught it at all. It's not a school belonging to any one denomination or attached to any place of worship. With us being a multi cultural and multi religious society these days, I feel if religion is going to be taught in any setting which is non denomiational then they should be introduced to a variety of religions rather than the one, or not at all. I believe that children shouldn't be "conditioned" into a religion unless of course it is at the parents choosing that they be raised that way, or as I say the setting is based upon that religion. Being introduced to a variety of religions allows children to make more informed choices as they progress in age into adolescents. I don't want my children brought up believing a certain religion is "right" above all others. As far as I'm concerned all that does is teach them to be intolerent of other's rights to their differing beliefs. My daughter has recently expressed an interest in attending the local church, I'm happy for her to go but she will be introduced by me to other religions as well so that when she is older she has a wider understanding of others beliefs.

[manjay]

I would tell the parent that you go to that toddler group and if she doesn't like it she can send lo on a different day. You have to consider the other children in your care too , why should they miss out just because of one Dad.


I'm with Twinks:thumbsup:

[Megan]

I go to a toddler group every week in a Baptist Church with a RC child, a C 0f E, and a Hindu at the end of the group we say may God keep you all safe! I also go to a Methodist Church group, a Evanglelist Church and if I could the Sally Ann. All religions have a God, every parent knows where I go and I tell them I have total inclusion.


Megan

[The Juggler]

If she signed a contract with you then regardless of if she is atheist or not your equal opps policy would outline fairness across all religions and cultures.

You might want to point her to the EYFS which means we are supposed to teach children/give them experiences of all cultures and religions.

[Bushpig]

As a Christian I always tell parents before they sign up that the toddler group we go to has a few Bible based activities and we have Christian books around the house. Hasn't been a problem even for a Sikh family - they liked the fact that I had religious beliefs.

I would tell the parent that you go to that toddler group and if she doesn't like it she can send lo on a different day. You have to consider the other children in your care too , why should they miss out just because of one Dad.

Me too. I sing nursery songs and Christian songs with the kids. I have Christian children's music playing sometimes too. I offer variety to my kids. I teach them about other religions too... it just happens that I am a Christian myself. I have Noah's Ark books, children's bibles etc. I am upfront about this with prospective parents so they know this from day 1.

I go to a church toddler group one day a week and the kids all love this, and it would be a huge shame if one of the mindees parents suddenly turned to me and said they didn't want their child to go there as the other mindees go there and love it. It is also the closest one to me by far, I don't drive and my kids are all under 4, so it needs to be close by.

Nothing is 'forced' on them at all at the group - they have Christmas parties, we sing nursery rhymes and Bible songs. It's the nicest and most casual group I've ever been to and I want to continue going there. Hence the need to be upfront with the parents and tell them what local places I go to at the initial interview.

[Mollymop]

My mum and her parents were/are religious, my Dad not, I wasn't christened neither were my sisters, but I grew up singing hymns and visiting churches. I even learnt the lords prayer byt he time I had finished infants school.
But it doesnt make me religious today, it it my choice and always has been whether I want to be a christian or belong to some other religion.

What I mean is, I think that children singing religious songs and learning about the concept of god is not a bad thing, children will gorw up to have their own opinions on what they believe.

I would carry on taking them until the parent tells you she doesn't want them going. If she doesn't tell you then how are you to know. xxx

[jibberjitz]

Hi Jo,

I would carry on and go until she says something and if she doesn't like the singing part then like you say you can leave before they start :thumbsup:

[nannymcflea]

So what if another lo's parent asks why you leave before singing and they WANT you to stop, what do you do?

I'd tell parent(if she has an issue, she might not really and if you don't say anything she may never know!)that she is welcome to drop her child off after the group has ended, that way you are not excluding any other mindees(and yourself) from socialising and finding out about religion...chances are she will keep quiet to hubby if she found out you went there anyway.

[wendywu]

I also have a statement along the lines of in our setting we celebrate the magical and diverse world around us. This includes all cultures including religon, foods, dress and festivals.

I state that if parents do not want their child to be included in any activities then please discuss it with me. I will be happy to work with them so long as it does not stop me meeting the needs of the other children in the setting. They are free to remove the child from the setting during such activities but full fee will still be payable.

I would not let my mindees miss out because of one child.:)

Tell them you will stick cotton wool in their childs ears during singing :laughing: