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clorogue
11-06-2009, 08:46 AM
A good friend of mine is a childminder. This morning one of her mothers was very upset (crying) at the door as she didn't want my friend to do the monitoring of her child - she just didn't want him monitored all the time and it written down as we have to with the EYFS. She agrees it should happen in nurseries but not when he is with my friend. It is making her feel inadequate as a mother she says. The mother is a very caring mother it is just how she feels about it all. The mother is going to ring Ofsted, but what can my friend do? Does she apply for exemption on behalf of the mother. How does this work? Thank you!

huggableshelly
11-06-2009, 09:01 AM
I have no idea to be honest but hopefully once the mother has contacted Ofsted she will have enough information to share and help make a decission.

These threads might offer some assistance
http://childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=33394&highlight=eyfs+exemption

http://childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=28884&highlight=eyfs+exemption

and many more here too
http://childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/search.php?searchid=1295170

Polly2
11-06-2009, 09:09 AM
I feel for the mum - she obviously feels threatened. I don't do EYFS so not in a postion to affer much advice but I think I would show how my paperwork really compliments and commends her parenting.

EYFS doesn't have to be intrusive, its more..."wow look what xyz did today, maybe we can try this tomorrow" etc

FizzysFriends
11-06-2009, 09:11 AM
I have no idea either, not maybe your friend could call her DO and ask her opinion. Im sure shes not the first parent to not want obs etc. May be your friend could do it through pictures instead of written?

clorogue
11-06-2009, 09:13 AM
Both of you thank you. I know I said to my friend. When she showed her the learning journey I think it may have upset her more - I agree I think she may have felt threatened by it, although my friend explained it to her. It is just knowing where my friend stands - although it seems complicated to apply for exemption. It is just to arm my friend with the knowledge of what to do from her end although the mother is ringing Ofsted.

Pipsqueak
11-06-2009, 09:16 AM
Polly is right - EYFS should't be intrusive and if they are 'monitoring' him then
a) they have explained it wrong
b) there might be an underlyin problem they want to check perhaps

What is this mum going to do when the child goes to school when the child will be constantly 'monitered'.

I know individuals can apply for exemption but I am guessing this mum will not have sufficient grounds.

EYFS has been badly explained and misunderstood- especially to parents.

CCJD
11-06-2009, 09:19 AM
I know there was alot of talk in the early days about exemption which at the time was next to impossible - don't know what the stand currently is. Sometimes the EYFS is perceived by the way in which we present it. In my setting the parents don't see it as a big deal but then I'm not ramming paper work down their necks 24/7 and I present the EYFS as a tool for parents to know that I am doing my job (not as a judgement on their child). I have always done daily diaries which simply show parents what we are doing - showing them that they are receiving value for money and that their child is happy and also as a reference point for them at hand over so they are aware of the day their child has had which may effect their evening. I only do 2 observations a month on each child which again prooves that I (not the mother) am providing activities which show or help a child reach their potential. I have also on occasion used a snaphot provided by parent of an experience at home which has been included in the learning journal.
It sounds like either mum is desperately insecure , in which case I would sit down with her- discuss her concerns and point out that this us more about measuring me and that I thought she was doing a great job - that without the foundations she lays down at home her child wouldn't be at the developmental stage he is. Or maybe your friend, having been overwhelmed by the EYFS, like many if us have been, and has just come in a bit strong with it. There us no reason why she can't tone it down for this parent without failing in her delivery of the EYFS. No parent should feel that we are "constantly monitoring" their child because that isn't the aim if the EYFS.
The EYFS can be a pain with the additional paperwork but ultimately no parent should feel anxious of a system designed to ensure early years practioners are doing their job.
Hope your friend manages to reassure her mum.

Polly2
11-06-2009, 09:23 AM
Very nicely put CCJD...now why can't I explain things like that??

clorogue
11-06-2009, 09:26 AM
Value all your input. My friend does the minimum paperwork and certainly doesn't push it upon her. She presents a beautiful learning journey (again the minimum) with some pictures on the observations. Spontaneous observations and her focussed monthly one. Nothing overboard at all. She has explained that she is not monitoring her. 'Monitoring' was the mother's words, she felt her child was being monitored (yes how is she going to cope with the Nursery/school monitoring). My friend has tried to reassure the mother what a good job the mother is doing and this is just what is being observed/focussed at her setting and how happy her child is. The EYFS has been explained to her, but some parents are just not happy with it.

georgie456
11-06-2009, 09:28 AM
I agree with Pipsqueak in that maybe EYFS has not been explained to mum very well. It's not about monitoring it's about supporting.

My parents love their children's learning journeys and can't wait till they get to keep them!!! It's a shame this lady is getting upset by them :(

As for it making her feel inadequate as a mother, EYFS is all about working with parents - mine have lots more involvement in what I do day-to-day now then they ever did - she needs to understand that she has a huge part to play in it all.

Maybe your friend could have a chat with her cdo and find ways of showing mum that EYFS is not a threat.

The Juggler
11-06-2009, 09:33 AM
I agree with ccjd. I think the parent needs to be persuaded that it isn't any more monitoring/observation than the info in the daily diaries. It's just watching and sharing what her child has done.

She's obvioulsy heard some horror stories. I think she needs to be shown it is more observation than monitoring and it's only to help her plan exciting resources and play for her little one.

If she is happy with the daily diary and doesn't want learning journeys and photos then your friend could have a form signed by this parent saying that is all she does want. That way, your friend could prove to ofsted she's not shirking the paperwork on this child and explain how upset mum was. This will show good parent partnership skills.

Tell your friend good luck

clorogue
11-06-2009, 09:36 AM
you are all so wonderfully helpful - what can I say. My friend knows I am putting this post on and was so keen to hear your input. I know she will be very grateful for this - will give her feedback later. Thanks!

angeldelight
11-06-2009, 09:40 AM
you are all so wonderfully helpful - what can I say. My friend knows I am putting this post on and was so keen to hear your input. I know she will be very grateful for this - will give her feedback later. Thanks!

Great advice from everyone

Hope your friend sorts it out

Let us know the outcome

Angel xx

clorogue
11-06-2009, 09:43 AM
I agree with ccjd. I think the parent needs to be persuaded that it isn't any more monitoring/observation than the info in the daily diaries. It's just watching and sharing what her child has done.

She's obvioulsy heard some horror stories. I think she needs to be shown it is more observation than monitoring and it's only to help her plan exciting resources and play for her little one.

If she is happy with the daily diary and doesn't want learning journeys and photos then your friend could have a form signed by this parent saying that is all she does want. That way, your friend could prove to ofsted she's not shirking the paperwork on this child and explain how upset mum was. This will show good parent partnership skills.

Tell your friend good luck

Juggler

But would this look good with Ofsted although I know it shows the partnership skills. What about the 'what next' steps?

Pipsqueak
11-06-2009, 09:44 AM
I know there was alot of talk in the early days about exemption which at the time was next to impossible - don't know what the stand currently is. Sometimes the EYFS is perceived by the way in which we present it. In my setting the parents don't see it as a big deal but then I'm not ramming paper work down their necks 24/7 and I present the EYFS as a tool for parents to know that I am doing my job (not as a judgement on their child). I have always done daily diaries which simply show parents what we are doing - showing them that they are receiving value for money and that their child is happy and also as a reference point for them at hand over so they are aware of the day their child has had which may effect their evening. I only do 2 observations a month on each child which again prooves that I (not the mother) am providing activities which show or help a child reach their potential. I have also on occasion used a snaphot provided by parent of an experience at home which has been included in the learning journal.
It sounds like either mum is desperately insecure , in which case I would sit down with her- discuss her concerns and point out that this us more about measuring me and that I thought she was doing a great job - that without the foundations she lays down at home her child wouldn't be at the developmental stage he is. Or maybe your friend, having been overwhelmed by the EYFS, like many if us have been, and has just come in a bit strong with it. There us no reason why she can't tone it down for this parent without failing in her delivery of the EYFS. No parent should feel that we are "constantly monitoring" their child because that isn't the aim if the EYFS.
The EYFS can be a pain with the additional paperwork but ultimately no parent should feel anxious of a system designed to ensure early years practioners are doing their job.
Hope your friend manages to reassure her mum.

Beatifully explained:clapping:

The Juggler
11-06-2009, 10:00 AM
Juggler

But would this look good with Ofsted although I know it shows the partnership skills. What about the 'what next' steps?

You could still plan next steps from the daily diaries.

Mouse
11-06-2009, 10:15 AM
You could still plan next steps from the daily diaries.

I often write next steps in my daily diary, but it's all very informal. I'll perhaps say that X has managed to take his own coat off, so from now on I will encourage him to try & hang it up himself.
Or I'll say that he has shown a real interest in something we saw while we were out, so I plan to take him to the library to look for relevent books, or plan to go on the internet with him & look for info.


It covers what needs to be done in an easy way that is informative to parents, but doesn't come across as monitoring.

clorogue
11-06-2009, 11:04 AM
I often write next steps in my daily diary, but it's all very informal. I'll perhaps say that X has managed to take his own coat off, so from now on I will encourage him to try & hang it up himself.
Or I'll say that he has shown a real interest in something we saw while we were out, so I plan to take him to the library to look for relevent books, or plan to go on the internet with him & look for info.


It covers what needs to be done in an easy way that is informative to parents, but doesn't come across as monitoring.

Thats a really good way Mouse. So in your planning do you put it down again and put his name or initials against it. Thanks! Do you have observations sheets at all then?

Spangles
11-06-2009, 11:25 AM
I am finding it very hard to understand why she is so upset and why she was crying about it?

I think your friend needs to arrange a time to sit down and chat with this mum and explain it all. Maybe if the mum rang Ofsted she would feel better about it.

I don't think I'm being hard but I just can't understand what's so threatening about it, she must have understood it wrong. Maybe she's talked to another parent who's wound her up?

I hope it's sorted out as it's horrible to think she's so distressed by it when there's really no need to be.

x

youarewhatyoueat
11-06-2009, 02:42 PM
Why would a parent be crying about this, I think may be there are other issues. Caroline

Mouse
11-06-2009, 02:56 PM
Thats a really good way Mouse. So in your planning do you put it down again and put his name or initials against it. Thanks! Do you have observations sheets at all then?


I still have obs & planning sheets, but I see these more as for my use, though parents are always welcome to look at them.

I do quite formal obs and planning (long term & short term) based on the obs, but will add extra notes to the child's learning journal & my planning sheets to include the bits I note in the daily diary. Monthly planning is shared with parents in my newsletter and these little extras in the diary.

Daftbat
11-06-2009, 03:17 PM
Hi Cloroque,

Have been reading this thread with interest. Have you shown her how you do your diaries etc? I think this would be easier if you are doing something similar to the rest of us.

clorogue
11-06-2009, 05:16 PM
i do diaries on all what was covered that day, but I also do seperate observations and planning in a folder, as well as photos one folder per child. I don't do photographs in the diary. My friend I believe doesn't have a diary as the mother I believe doesn't want one and yes I believe there are other issues with the mother and my friend is doing her best communicating with her and reassuring her about the EYFS.

Pipsqueak
11-06-2009, 05:21 PM
i do diaries on all what was covered that day, but I also do seperate observations and planning in a folder, as well as photos one folder per child. I don't do photographs in the diary. My friend I believe doesn't have a diary as the mother I believe doesn't want one and yes I believe there are other issues with the mother and my friend is doing her best communicating with her and reassuring her about the EYFS.

Perhaps it might be helpful to point your friend in the forums direction or even the parent??? Perhaps by talking to another cm the parent might get a different perspective.
It does sound like there are other issues there that the parent seems to be shying away from.

clorogue
11-06-2009, 05:39 PM
Perhaps it might be helpful to point your friend in the forums direction or even the parent??? Perhaps by talking to another cm the parent might get a different perspective.
It does sound like there are other issues there that the parent seems to be shying away from.

Thanks Pipsqueak. I am always sharing the information I am learning with my friend from here. The reason why I have done this for her is unfortunately she doesn't know how to use a computer - one thing she aims to do! Yes hopefully the parent will find out more information if she rings Ofsted or other support source. Sometimes, parents don't want this no matter what you say to them and reassure them and I guess we have to accept that too.

Spangles
11-06-2009, 06:13 PM
I understand that and would be understanding of a parent with those opinions but being so upset and crying does seem to be a bit extreme.

I think there's definitely more to this, does the mum feel guilty about leaving her child with the cm? Has she had bonding problems?

It's so sad to hear that she's so upset but if she can't confront what the other real issues are it's not going to get any better and your friend is going to have a very difficult job.

CCJD
11-06-2009, 06:18 PM
I also have a friend who delivers the EYFS fully and whilst parents dont have a problem with it - they really couldnt care less for it and often comment that they dont look in the diaries.

I find it bizarre that a parent would not want to know what their child has been doing? If my child were in childcare I would welcome information about my child's day and if it included photo's all the better. It would also reassure me that my child was occupied well and I was getting value for my money. Some parents are very strange.