View Full Version : urgent quick question
jaytravis
09-06-2009, 04:05 PM
i have a man coming to see me tonight with his 3 girls im the only one who picks up from that school the irls are lovely but their mum is a bad alcholic and is often has a injuction against them or picks them up drunk but is often at school her daughter lives on my road and is the same
the mum has often knocked on my and others door looking for money and shouting about now when the dad comes do i mention i know who is wife is or wait to see if he says anything
Tatjana
09-06-2009, 04:10 PM
I personally wouldn't mention his wife.
xx
loocyloo
09-06-2009, 04:11 PM
hi, didn't want to read and run, but i don't know.
i wouldn't mention his wife, or possibly just ask what pick up arrangements are etc
good luck
xxx
jaytravis
09-06-2009, 04:14 PM
but what if i take them on and she comes to my door ranting the girls are really nice and it poss that he knows who is wifwe is as nearly everyone at that school does
i think it would be good for the girls to have a bit of stabilty
Spangles
09-06-2009, 04:19 PM
Blimey, I think I would leave this one to be honest. Sounds like it could be a real nightmare.
loocyloo
09-06-2009, 04:19 PM
i don't know honey,
maybe that comes under access arrangements/responsibilities etc.
it might be he will tell you. i have had some parents tell me some very personal/confidential things at interview stage, especially if it may affect the care of the child.
if she comes to the door, you don't have to answer it, unless you are letting her take the children.
who has been caring for them up till now?
xxxx
jaytravis
09-06-2009, 04:24 PM
im not sure the mum was at school today but she was drunk and ive never seen him pick them up (rumours are that he beats her ) but i just belive what i see i know he locks her out as ive seen her shouting to be let in, sometimes school keeps them im not sure thinki m mad doing this but im thinking of the girls
loocyloo
09-06-2009, 04:29 PM
thinking of you.
you need to do what is best for you. ( and i know you are thinking of the girls, but please think of your family too )
i know you can't now, as they are coming today, but could you have a chat to a teacher at school? or maybe social services? i am pretty sure you can phone them, and not give names, ask for advice?
xxx
youarewhatyoueat
09-06-2009, 04:34 PM
If he doesn't tell you i'ld want to know why and wouldn't touch it, if he does tell you then the professional relationship you will have with the dad will be an honest and open one and I would have a quick get out clause in the contract to safeguard you and your family and other mindees.
her8y
09-06-2009, 04:54 PM
thinking of you.
you need to do what is best for you. ( and i know you are thinking of the girls, but please think of your family too )
xxx
Just what I was going to say. Just be sure you know what you will be taking on.
Good for you though.....stability sounds like what they need. Just see how the interview goes.....
nikki13
09-06-2009, 05:10 PM
i look after two in similar situation i put into contracts that would not open door to mum and would only deal with grandparents who have perental control at the moment i have had them for 6 months with no problems but you need to know the whole situation talk to the dad and find out the whole story often not as bad as the rumors that go around school playgrounds
good luck keep us posted
The Juggler
09-06-2009, 05:19 PM
Might also be he's looking at stopping access for a while hence he needs the childminder to do the school run. However, I would definately ask about Mum, just say I notice mum picks them up now.
If any worries that mum will try to harrass you on school run when you are picking them up think you need to address these early on.
Although doesn't sound like an easy job it may be its just what these girls need just now.
Chatterbox Childcare
09-06-2009, 05:36 PM
I would talk it over with dad, see where the parental responsbility lies and if he likes you come up with a plan should she come knocking on the door - i.e. call the police
jaytravis
09-06-2009, 05:39 PM
thanks everyone he is comin at 7 so will see how it goes if he not said anything by the end i will mention it will let you know how it goes x
loocyloo
10-06-2009, 07:08 AM
how did it go?
x
Polly2
10-06-2009, 08:26 AM
Sorry missed this - how did it go?
I would be too stressed to take them on but thats just me - if you can work out what to do in each situation then I think it would be good for the kids to have some stability.
jaytravis
10-06-2009, 03:40 PM
hi well i took them on he did mention his wife and she is not allowed to come and get themif she comes to the door i am not to open it she is not a voilent drunk so not bothered bout that i have said if she comes ranting and if she does not go after i have asked i will call the police as i have my kids and onther cm to consider its from 3.30 - 8.30 mon to fri ARGH
wellybelly
10-06-2009, 04:00 PM
I dont think you need to mention anything but be greatful you are aware of the situation.
LittleMissSparkles
10-06-2009, 04:03 PM
hi well i took them on he did mention his wife and she is not allowed to come and get themif she comes to the door i am not to open it she is not a voilent drunk so not bothered bout that i have said if she comes ranting and if she does not go after i have asked i will call the police as i have my kids and onther cm to consider its from 3.30 - 8.30 mon to fri ARGH
what time do you start work in the morning.... long day if you dont finish till 8.30pm good luck though xxx
loocyloo
10-06-2009, 04:51 PM
well done & good luck, glad dad was honest with you and it sounds as though you have got things sorted.
long day though!
x
I would talk it over with dad, see where the parental responsbility lies and if he likes you come up with a plan should she come knocking on the door - i.e. call the police
Think I'd be with Debbie on this one.:thumbsup: