Awful day, feel like giving it up!

[welshgirl]

Well, what an awful day, it started at 3am when my 20 month old son woke up and refused to go to sleep. 2year old mindee came at 8am, we went off to take my 5 year old to school, my son screamed all the way and 2 year old fell over really hurt her knees (which were pouring with blood) cried all the way home!! Then my new mindee came at 9am, she is 14 months old, and never been left with anyone before. She cried pretty much till mum collected her at 1pm, whilst my son had major tantrums and screaming fits the whole morning too. At 2.45 went off to pre school to collect 4year old, who had a face like thunder when I turned up and said she did not want to come with me!!!!

Anyone got any advice for helping the little one settle in? Distraction does not help, believe me I tried everything, she has only been here twice, I even resorted to cbeebies that did not work. we never normally have the telly on till after school so 2 year old was a bit shocked and kept running up to me saying 'telly on, no!'

Also if anyone can help me with the 4 year old. She actually really likes coming here, I have spoken to her mum and she says she is forever talking about what she does here, and she never wants to go home when mum comes. She thinks it is because she has been playing out with a little boy that lives next door to her, but mum is going to have a chat. To be honest if I am going to have that reception everytime I collect her, I don't want to do it, I feel quite embarrassed by it and it puts me in a predicament.

[Mrs.L.C]

I really feel for you. I think at sometime in our childminding lives, we have all had days like these which makes you think, why do we bother
but usually these are ones offs and tomorrow will be better for you.

Settling the 14 mth old may take time. iv always found getting out and about asap helps - short walks, going to the park, to another childminders but not a toddler group. try and get her into a routine asap, reassuring and keep doing what you prob have done all morning and im sure it will soon starts to work. Do they have a comforter? Maybe mum/dad could bring a toy shes close to which may help. iv also heard that something of mum/dads that smells of them can help

Not sure what to suggest for the 4 year old. Do you have any pets or a fav toy at yours? maybe when she acts up you can mention them or something else to see if it distracts her


hope that helps a little

[miffy]

Sorry you've had a bad day.

Not sure what to suggest but didn't want to read and run

Hope tomorrow's better for you

Miffy xx

[CherryBlossom]

Tomorrow is a new day! It may be a really good positive one, and just take it as a learning curve. Not everyday is going to be easy.
Hopefully the Mindee's will settle down, it will take time but don't give up!

x

[wendywu]

Try the good old method of if she is a really good girl and comes home with you with a smile on her face when she walks through the door she can pick a sweet from the bowl that you have previously placed on the table.


Yes i know its not healthy or good for her teeth, but if needs must :thumbsup: Its worth a try.:D

[grindal]

Oh dear - you sound how I felt last week. I had a ten month old mindee start last week. She did not cry all the time, but screamed when I put her down, in pushchair, in highchair - anywhere so that I could actually do something! Anyway, last week was long and hard, but yesterday was a lot better. It really does take time for them to settle. As for the 4 yr old - no idea - sorry!!
Good Luck

[angeldelight]

I think the little one only being with you twice says a lot - its early days so hopefully she will settle when she gets to know you and your routine and the other children

The older one well to be honest I would ignore it - at our nursery we have a few children do this when others collect them I even had one little girl who used to hide under the table :laughing: :laughing:

I would have a chat with her and suggest she picks something nice that she wants to do when you collect her , tell her not to forget and hopefully when she comes out she will be fine

I think we all have moments like this so you are not the only one although it can feel like it

If you have to have the tv on sometimes it does not hurt either

Good luck let us know how it goes

Angel xx

[misst104]

hope it goes better today :)

xxx

[ORKSIE]

Sorry missed this yesterday.
Yes we all have bad days, Hope today is better for you.
The lo's do take time to settle, and they usually do after a while.
As for the older little girl, tell her what you have planned or even plan with her the day before so she knows what fun to expect when she goes home with you.

[Lady Haha]

RE: the four year old having a fit when you collect! I had a similar experience. One of my mindees went for tea at her friends house straight from school and mum asked if I could pick her up and keep her til she could collect her from mine. I was happy to do this, mum is a friend anyway.

Well! I arrived to pick her up, friends mum answers the door and suddenly mindee starts screaming and crying that she doesn't want to come with me! She was almost hyperventilating!! I was so embarrassed! Mum watches me as I try and get mindee across the road to the car and mindee is yelling at the top of her voice 'Don't touch me!!!' when I tried to hold her hand!!! Mindee has never acted like that before or since and it's obvious she just wanted to stay at her friends house! I thought, this woman must think I'm an ogre or something!!!! I was scared to death she might 'gossip' about it in the playground at school and lose me any potential business!

This happened a few months ago and to my utter surprise she approached me yesterday at school to ask if I had any vacancies for her daughter!!! So, it just goes to show, you may feel embarrassed and think it puts you in a bad light, by maybe not!

[The Juggler]

Anyone got any advice for helping the little one settle in? Distraction does not help, believe me I tried everything, she has only been here twice, I even resorted to cbeebies that did not work. we never normally have the telly on till after school so 2 year old was a bit shocked and kept running up to me saying 'telly on, no!'

Also if anyone can help me with the 4 year old. She actually really likes coming here, I have spoken to her mum and she says she is forever talking about what she does here, and she never wants to go home when mum comes. She thinks it is because she has been playing out with a little boy that lives next door to her, but mum is going to have a chat. To be honest if I am going to have that reception everytime I collect her, I don't want to do it, I feel quite embarrassed by it and it puts me in a predicament.

Poor you. One of those days. Bad night with your ds and new starter not a good combination for anyone!

For little one, give it time. Two short sessions is not enough to predict though I know it's hard. With your 4 year old if she is talking about being at yours when she is with mum and doing it excitedly rather than with fear and trepidation then I think you can put this totally down to a little disappointment that you weren't her mum. Does mum pick up some days?

I had this with a four year old before. Mum and I took turns. Every day mum came he threw a tantrum and asked for me and when it was my day he did the same asking for mum! Honestly, explain to the teachers if you're worried they think she is unhappy to come with you or ask mum to tell them what's she's told you. She is happy with you or she wouldn't be telling mum about what she does with you all the time.

LOL and good luck

[Ripeberry]

Oh dear! It can only get better:) That 4yr old reminds me of a little girl that started reception last year and her grandmother would come and pick her up on some days.
Each time the grandmother came, there would be lots of tantruming and saying "I'm not coming with you, go away!" and she even used to kick her grandmother! :eek:
This was all because the little girl was jealous of all the other reception kids being picked up by their mums.
Did not get that much better, so the mum has to come home early just pick up her daughter.

[welshgirl]

Thank you for all your replies. Today has been much better as I do not have the little one or 4 year old on tue/wed. 4 year olds mum is going to speak to her, she thinks she is just attention seeking, and wants to go out and play with her neighbour. She is very much a tom boy, loves playing with my eldest son etc, but is really not interested in activities, she may do something for around 2 minutes maximum and she says everything is 'boring!', she even says going to the park is 'boring!' and pre school is 'rubbish and boring!' I asked her why she did not want to come and she said 'she just didn't, she wanted to play in her bedroom and that my son's arm was scratchy!!!! (in fairness it is in plaster cast and is scratchy!)
I wish I had a longer settling in period for the 14 month old, I normally have them come and play for a month perhaps once/twice a week, and it really helps, but this time it has been a bit rushed and she has only been to see us twice before starting. I know it takes time, but I feel really sad for the other two as I can't do anything with them, everything seems to be disorganised and they are missing out on toddlers. I'll try taking the three of them out to our local country park to feed the ducks on Thu, or to the farm shop to see the animals, perhaps being away from the house will be better, she keeps walking and pointing at the door crying, bless her.

[angeldelight]

Thank you for all your replies. Today has been much better as I do not have the little one or 4 year old on tue/wed. 4 year olds mum is going to speak to her, she thinks she is just attention seeking, and wants to go out and play with her neighbour. She is very much a tom boy, loves playing with my eldest son etc, but is really not interested in activities, she may do something for around 2 minutes maximum and she says everything is 'boring!', she even says going to the park is 'boring!' and pre school is 'rubbish and boring!' I asked her why she did not want to come and she said 'she just didn't, she wanted to play in her bedroom and that my son's arm was scratchy!!!! (in fairness it is in plaster cast and is scratchy!)
I wish I had a longer settling in period for the 14 month old, I normally have them come and play for a month perhaps once/twice a week, and it really helps, but this time it has been a bit rushed and she has only been to see us twice before starting. I know it takes time, but I feel really sad for the other two as I can't do anything with them, everything seems to be disorganised and they are missing out on toddlers. I'll try taking the three of them out to our local country park to feed the ducks on Thu, or to the farm shop to see the animals, perhaps being away from the house will be better, she keeps walking and pointing at the door crying, bless her.

Glad to hear you had a better day today

Enjoy the park and ducks on Thursday and fingers crossed it all works out

Angel xx