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View Full Version : do you change a pooey nappy on arrival?



newandlearning
02-06-2009, 05:21 PM
Hi.. just wondering what you do when a parent brings toddler with pooey nappy..

the first time it happend she came in and told me .. oh he's done a parcel for you:angry: .. well stupidly I first thought she meant a gift.. well I changed it but felt very put upon.

last week she brought him with a pooey nappy and didn't mention it.. after she left I realised he'd done a poo and it was soo caked on it was evident that it had been there more than 5 mins.

today.. he came again with another pooey nappy.. first I smelt my child and then I checked hers and found he'd done a poo.. she looked done and said oh its ****! well I said would you mind changing him for me so I can get the other boys in the car (as I've still gotta take my boy to preschool and get even later if I then have to change her child too)...

anyway.. sorry for ranting.. but would you get parent to change her child as well.. I think if I don't do it this way I'm just gonna feel put upon.. she also wants me to start potty training him when he happily poos without showing any bother about the sensation or the smell.. which to me means he's really not ready for potty training.. anyway.. I've agreed to put him on the potty after each nappy change which is fine.

So far I'm brushing his teeth after lunch, changing nappy, getting him to try the potty .. washing hands and then putting Aveeno cream on him.. am I becoming a second mum or is this part of childminding????

thanks for reading.. and even more so if you reply.xx

sarah707
02-06-2009, 05:24 PM
It's childminding as far as I am concerned.

I do everything and more because it's my job and I try to be as professional as possible.

I get parents regularly dropping children off who've done a poo in the car... but then they are early enough so I can get them changed before going on the school run.

If timing is your problem then maybe you need to speak to the parents about changing their hours so you have time to sort their child and you're not running late.

Would that help do you think? :D

sonia ann
02-06-2009, 05:37 PM
......am I becoming a second mum or is this part of childminding????

I like to think that i'm a second mum to all my mindees......and yes I do think it is part of childminding........it's why I do this job:)

Straws
02-06-2009, 05:41 PM
Yep I agree with Sarah, its childminding thats what you get paid for, I often have children who poo in the car on there way to my house.

I'd ask the parent to drop off a few more minutes early so you have time to change him.

Straws x

Andrea08
02-06-2009, 05:43 PM
both hun but i do understand

parents should clean their children before they arrive at the setting but there are times i have children arrive in the same s*!* they went to bed in! :eek:

as long as we do our best by the children and try to help and support parents and families,

xxxx

ORKSIE
02-06-2009, 05:48 PM
I have been told in the past "oh he did it in the car" and as far as i'm concerned Thats fine I will clean it.
I have had mindees turn up late and mum says "He filled his nappy as I was about to leave" they certainly get their timing right:D
If a child turned up with caked on poo I would not be happy, but if they did it in transit then I would change them without a thought.:D

PixiePetal
02-06-2009, 05:59 PM
Part and parcel of the job, if it's making you late I would ask for a bit longer in the mornings. It is quite common as they have usually just had breakfast and body gets working.

If I need to leave prompt after arrivals in the morning I would ask for an earlier drop off If I need to leave by 8.45 I would like all children in by 8.30 for instance to allow for nappies/wees/putting on raincoats when parents walk in carrying them :rolleyes:

I can change a nappy far quicker than most parents anyway ;) :D

ORKSIE
02-06-2009, 06:21 PM
I can change a nappy far quicker than most parents anyway ;) :D
I think we should all have a race to see whos the fastest pooper scooper:laughing: :laughing:

TheBTeam
02-06-2009, 06:32 PM
Personally i would rather change it than the parents, i have had one on collection who wanted to change the poo that the child did as she arrived, i offered to do it, she said 'no' and proceeded to change him on my carpet ignoring the mat that i had given!!!

Another one insists on changing on her lap with bits dropping off, so there is no way i want that in my house!

PixiePetal
02-06-2009, 06:47 PM
Personally i would rather change it than the parents, i have had one on collection who wanted to change the poo that the child did as she arrived, i offered to do it, she said 'no' and proceeded to change him on my carpet ignoring the mat that i had given!!!

Another one insists on changing on her lap with bits dropping off, so there is no way i want that in my house!


:eek: :eek: :eek:

Curly Quavers
02-06-2009, 07:13 PM
It's childminding as far as I am concerned.

I do everything and more because it's my job and I try to be as professional as possible.

I get parents regularly dropping children off who've done a poo in the car... but then they are early enough so I can get them changed before going on the school run.




I agree,

When I used to put my girls to a minder my younger was still in nappies and ofter she was clean when we left and pooped by the time I got there.

If she is dropping the child off on time then she obviously she has work to go to and that is when your day with that child begins. It's not nice but part of the job.

:thumbsup:

Mouse
02-06-2009, 07:23 PM
I agree with what the others have said. One of my mindees often used to turn up with a dirty nappy. The mum alway offered to change it, but I said no. I just accepted it as being part of the job.

I suppose looking at it the other way though, I would never send a child home with a dirty nappy. One of the current mindees always does a yucky nappy just as mum arrives to pick him up. I could hand him over & say 'there you go, he's just filled his nappy' (as my son's nursery used to do!), but I don't, I always change him before he leaves.

OrlandoBelle
02-06-2009, 07:33 PM
I have had babies turn up in there PJ's at 8am and have been told to change them into their clothes as the mum's running late and didn't have time... also babies with nappies full to bursting that MUST have been on from the night before. Those are the times I feel slightly put upon. But if a child comes to me in the morning having just done a poo, i really don't mind. It's part of my job and i'd rather have it out of the way in the morning, then in the afternoon when you're in the middle of a park or somewhere with no amenities! That's providing they only have one a day!! :laughing:

mushpea
02-06-2009, 07:35 PM
I always change dirty nappys on arrival, never bothers me cause feel it is part of my job.
on the other end of the scale i have one little boy whos mum meets me at school in the afternoon to collect hm and you can garuntee somwhere on the way he poops and she often picks him up smelly!!:eek: i hate handing them back yucky cause i worry the parent thinks his bin like it all day, shes fine though and has never said anything bad about it and i do offer to clean him up.l

Daftbat
02-06-2009, 07:39 PM
I don't mind about it really. Children can't help pooing on their way to see us and often they have just had their breakfast at home which can initiate it anyway. I have never asked a parent to change their child - in fact i have insisted on doing it just before they have left me in a evening if a poo has just materialised. I like to send them home fed, watered and clean.

As far as potty training goes - i think we have to work with the parents and decide together what the best strategy is and when a child is ready to start. We are second mums to these children in lots of ways.

manjay
02-06-2009, 07:44 PM
I have absolutely no problem with changing nappies done in transit but I do object to ones that have very obviously been there for much longer than the 2 minutes it takes to get to me!! I would never dream of sending a child home dirty:rolleyes: but then there are lots of things that I would not do but parents don't see as a problem!

Twinkles
02-06-2009, 07:47 PM
I kind of know where you are coming from here. I have one toddler who is often bought to me with a pooey nappy and when I change it it's obvious it hasn't just been done and he only lives over the road. I'm fairly sure dad just leaves it for me to change :rolleyes:

newandlearning
02-06-2009, 09:00 PM
wow.. what a lot of responses .. my mindees mum pays me from 9am but always gets to me around 9.10 or later.. and my lil boy has to be at preschool for 9.15.. he misses circle time and all the beginning bit of preschool and although changing a pooey nappy doesn't take long .. it just feels like its another thing I have to do .. which gets in the way of me looking after my own child... from everyones responses it sounds like I'm missing the point.. I think I would mind a lot less if he was brought to me earlier but as she has to drop her daughter off at school first she always gets to me late.. I may ask if she'd be happy to start the day sooner.

Pipsqueak
02-06-2009, 09:24 PM
wow.. what a lot of responses .. my mindees mum pays me from 9am but always gets to me around 9.10 or later.. and my lil boy has to be at preschool for 9.15.. he misses circle time and all the beginning bit of preschool and although changing a pooey nappy doesn't take long .. it just feels like its another thing I have to do .. which gets in the way of me looking after my own child... from everyones responses it sounds like I'm missing the point.. I think I would mind a lot less if he was brought to me earlier but as she has to drop her daughter off at school first she always gets to me late.. I may ask if she'd be happy to start the day sooner.

If parent is due to arrive at nine and doesn't then I would leave - because no way would I be allowing my child to miss his precious time at nursery/school.
Think you need to talk to parent, saying that they need to get to you earlier as you HAVE to leave for school no later than xxx time and if they arrive to you after this then they will either have to wait on the doorstep for you or meet you at the school.

Curly Quavers
02-06-2009, 09:28 PM
If parent is due to arrive at nine and doesn't then I would leave - because no way would I be allowing my child to miss his precious time at nursery/school.
Think you need to talk to parent, saying that they need to get to you earlier as you HAVE to leave for school no later than xxx time and if they arrive to you after this then they will either have to wait on the doorstep for you or meet you at the school.

I completely agree you should tell your parent that give her the option 8.50 start or after 9.15

jeanybeany
02-06-2009, 09:32 PM
I agree with what the others have said. One of my mindees often used to turn up with a dirty nappy. The mum alway offered to change it, but I said no. I just accepted it as being part of the job.

I suppose looking at it the other way though, I would never send a child home with a dirty nappy. One of the current mindees always does a yucky nappy just as mum arrives to pick him up. I could hand him over & say 'there you go, he's just filled his nappy' (as my son's nursery used to do!), but I don't, I always change him before he leaves.

I also do this. I felt awful the other night as the lo who always soils there nappy at home time did so on this night. I had another parent there who always stays for ages and I hinted loads that I needed to change the lo. It just didn't sink in and then the lo's mum came. I explained that he had soiled but i didn't think it appropriate to change in front of another parent. She was fine but I felt really guilty sending them home like that, especially as I usually change them...........

I also agree with the other posts. It is our job and many a time I am a liitle late setting out for school run due to a nappy change.:( But we always get to school on time!

newandlearning
02-06-2009, 09:38 PM
well.. my lo hasnt got to school more than once all year.. I have tried to ask
mum about changing times and we agreed to start from next year as there is
only another month and a half left of this academic year but although I've agreed to this I'm now getting flustered by it..:(

Pipsqueak
02-06-2009, 09:43 PM
well.. my lo hasnt got to school more than once all year.. I have tried to ask
mum about changing times and we agreed to start from next year as there is
only another month and a half left of this academic year but although I've agreed to this I'm now getting flustered by it..:(

no no no - you don't ask - you tell her that she has to arrive by xx time as you WILL be leaving to get your son to school. You WILL be back by xx time so she has teh option to get to you before or after or meet you en-route.
The point of childminding is so that you can be there for your own family and I would not be allowing a minded family to dictate to me about when my child is going to arrive into school due to their tardiness.
Never mind there is only a month left - start now, tomorrow morning - send her text 8am to say that you WILL be leaving at xx time to get your son to school on time (if she is arriving later than her contracted time). If its bugging you and it clearly is then tackle it now. If her contracted time is 9.10 then you need to rearrange the times via discussion. The mum might not realise she is making your son late.

As for teh poopy nappy - as they say :censored: happens ! lol

ps - and leave on time - no hanging about an extra minute just to see if she'll be turning up.

Helen79
03-06-2009, 08:29 AM
Is there anyway she could drop mindee off at your son's nursery instead of your house?

Toothfairy
03-06-2009, 12:58 PM
Yep, part of the job i'm afraid.
The only time I would say something to parents is if it was making the childs bottom sore by being left in a dirty nappy.

The Juggler
03-06-2009, 04:31 PM
I completely agree you should tell your parent that give her the option 8.50 start or after 9.15

I agree. I used to have that. I used to tell the mum I would leave at x time and she would need to catch me en route to school. Not ideal handover for young baby/toddler nor easy to watch little ones as we transfered from car to buggy but no way I was going to make my children late for school.

Tatia
03-06-2009, 05:33 PM
I just want to go back to what you said about the mother wanting you to start potty training her son. :eek: :angry:

Others may feel differently but I do not feel that it is the job of the childminder to potty train children. It's the parent's repsonsibility! Sure, we support and work with the parent but I've always told parents that potty training must begin at home and I won't take a child in pants until they've had some success at home first. Most of them started during holidays or something. I'm always happy to work with the child and expect accidents and such but I never felt it was my job to be the main potty trainer.

:)

PixiePetal
03-06-2009, 05:45 PM
I just want to go back to what you said about the mother wanting you to start potty training her son. :eek: :angry:

Others may feel differently but I do not feel that it is the job of the childminder to potty train children. It's the parent's repsonsibility! Sure, we support and work with the parent but I've always told parents that potty training must begin at home and I won't take a child in pants until they've had some success at home first. Most of them started during holidays or something. I'm always happy to work with the child and expect accidents and such but I never felt it was my job to be the main potty trainer.

:)

I am with you on this.

Part of my hygiene policy - probably adapted from one of the forum members (thanks!)

'If you feel the time has come for potty training and your child is showing signs of understanding and control, please discuss with me so we can work from the same page. Once your child has had some success at home I am will carry on at my house. This is unlikely to be before the age of two and often much later. I have many years of experience in potty training so please feel free to ask if you wish.'

Lady Haha
03-06-2009, 06:18 PM
I agree with other replies saying leave on time!!! I have a child who I leave without at least once a week due to his mum being late. It's been Monday and today this week!! She knows I will leave if she isn't here on time! And I only take him to school! I sometimes wonder why she bothers with me at all, she normally drops him off at 8.30 and he gets straight into my car. School starts at 8.45, why doesn't she just take him herself and save herself some money???? Anyway, I've rambled!

You do need to tell her that she needs to get to you at least ten minutes before you are due to leave to allow nappy changing time etc.

You mustn't let your son miss out on his circle time etc just because she can't be bothered to get to you early enough!

newandlearning
04-06-2009, 12:45 PM
hello ladies.. wow wot a lot of replies.. I spoke to the mum yesterday morning and asked if she wud mind dropping off at 8.30am instead so her lo can settle, play, and get changed if needed .. this way my lil one can get to preschool on time and start his day along with all the others there. today she got here at 8.40 which is still fine as we still have a good 20 mins. before we have to start to get going. I'm very happy with this.. on sunny days this means we can walk rather than drive... all in all its been good.

the problem I foresee with the potty training is that I have her lo full-time.. she picks up 2 days, gran one day, carer next day and dad every other weekend.. as you can see.. she sends some after care time with them and every other weekend.. I am the main carer in many ways so as far as potty training goes it will have to be on a weekend good for her where she can start on a Sat. morn and evaluate. Im currently putting him on the potty every nappy change but there has been nothing emerging yet .. he shows no signs to me.

xx

kindredspirits
04-06-2009, 01:28 PM
i am pleased you have sorted out the problem with him arriving late - i would tell mum that she needs to start potty training him at the weekend and unless she's had some success you can't do it properly there. they need to understand the concept of the potty - if you've got more than one LO to look after you cannot chase them around with a potty all day!

Heaven Scent
04-06-2009, 01:54 PM
It's childminding as far as I am concerned.

I do everything and more because it's my job and I try to be as professional as possible.

I get parents regularly dropping children off who've done a poo in the car... but then they are early enough so I can get them changed before going on the school run.

If timing is your problem then maybe you need to speak to the parents about changing their hours so you have time to sort their child and you're not running late.

Would that help do you think? :D

Here here and if a child poos even after a mum has arrived for a pick up I will always offer to change it - its my job andthey are still in my care under my roof - ad behaving by my rules so thats how it is.

I have been on the other side of the coin and mornings are very very stressful times for working mums - They have people who pay their wage who theyare answerable to and without their jobs we wouldn't have ours - swings and roundabouts really isn't it!!!
With regard to the toilet training iwould ask her to take time off to make a start and you will work with her and follow her lead but suggest that raher than her wasting her annual leave by trying too early and failing to wait until you and she see more signs of the child being ready for it.

claireLouise
04-06-2009, 10:46 PM
I like to think that i'm a second mum to all my mindees......and yes I do think it is part of childminding........it's why I do this job:)


My sentiments exactly. mu youngest regularly comes with a dirty nappy - it's just tjhe time she does a bowel movement; another at 4pm too!

I't all part of childminding. The dad has offered to change her but I see this as part of the job.

Claire

newandlearning
05-06-2009, 07:32 AM
well.. I suppose what flustered me initially was that this was beginning to become a regular occurance .. coupled with mum being late.. her not even saying 'opp he's just poo'ed' 'wud you mind?' .. but indeed would sometimes just leave him pooey.. one occasion it was caked all over him so must have been there awhile.. I agree that its part of my job if he comes on time but I feel compromised between the cm child and my own .. when the mum wants to talk, the cm child needs changing and my own child needs to go to preschool.