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twise
13-02-2008, 08:22 PM
Ladies (and Gents) I would very much appreciate your advice.

I met with a potential mind yesterday who has two kids blah de blah. Anyway we were talking as you do and found out we are into the same music and are infact going to see the same band in the summer, I happened to mention that my hubby is studying for a degree in music at the mo and he is in a band and had been told he looks like one of the musicians we are going to see (you know what men are like one woman says gosh you look like so and so and they come back and say that All women say they look like him:rolleyes: ).

Anyway I ended up giving her my hubbies band website so she could have a look. We finished the meeting agreeing for her to bring the kids round to meet me this Friday.

A couple of hours later she phoned me back and said she had to ask me somerhing very sensative...Did I smoke? i said no i had given up two years and 2 stone a go but my hubby does smoke but not in the house ever and he is at college when the children are here.

She then lauched into a tirade of she is aware my hubby smokes because there is a picture on his bands website of him smoking a joint..i was gobsmacked and explained that actually they are roll up cigarettes not joints.

She told me that she did not believe me because no roll ups are that big:panic: I explained that yes they are when you use kingsized papers.She then said she would be concerned to have her children near someone who smokes drugs. I again calmly told her that I would be too but as I had pointed out they are roll up cigarettes my husband doesn't do and never has done drugs.

She then again said that she is concerened because she knows people in a band who all do drugs!! I then lost the plot AND WHEN COMPLETELY BONKERS telling her that she was beeing very presumptious and how dare she automatically jump to conclusions and then have the cheek to tell me I am lying :censored:

After about five mins of me ranting she then started to laugh and said oh Im so glad you reacted like that I'm sorry if I offended you will it still be ok to come round with her hubby and kids on Friday:angry:

I like a fool said ok. When I came off the phone I promptly burst into tears (I'm PMT at the moment even a James Blunt song makes me weep and that story on here about the Wooden Bowl...) I told my hubby what had happened and he went bananas telling me I should have told her no its not ok.

I have slept on it and I have to admit that I seem to be getting angrier the more I think about it and am concerned that she might be the type of person that jumps first and thinks later.

Am I over reacting

Tracy
X

Rubybubbles
13-02-2008, 08:30 PM
in a word NO, good grief I would be :censored: :angry: too

How dare she do that and see what your reaction was

Not sure what to tell u to do but sending :group hug:

berkschick
13-02-2008, 08:34 PM
I too would be :angry: :angry:

Poor you!

I would feel very insulted.

twise
13-02-2008, 08:34 PM
Thank you all hugs gratefully received...it's the wrong time of the month for me to deal with this type of person. Thank god it was on the phone and not in person:angry:


Tracy

angeldelight
13-02-2008, 08:37 PM
What a weird person

Well I am into music a lot too and my daughter in laws brother is in a rock band so I know how you feel about this because he has never taken drugs either - people should not judge

I can maybe understand her concern at first but not sure why she wanted you to react how you did
If I was going to ask someone the questions that she asked you I would have done it face to face to see what I was up against anyway not through a phone call

Seems a bit weird that she still wanted to come after knowing she had obviously wound you up and upset you

Not sure about this one

Hugs to you

Angel xx

sarah707
13-02-2008, 08:38 PM
Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it... :panic:

angeldelight
13-02-2008, 08:39 PM
Haha and there was me thinking it would have been better in person

She obviously did not have the bottle anyway that is why she asked you on the phone

Maybe she was being honest with you and really was worried - bands or whatever always do get a bad reputation dont they its part and package of their jobs however much we think it is wrong

I just think she went about it the wrong way and should not have practically called you a liar
How rude is she

Not sure I would want to do this you might be constantly looking over your shoulder and be very unsure of her now

Angel xx

Rubybubbles
13-02-2008, 08:40 PM
Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it... :panic:

I agree with Sarah TBH

mrsbumbles
13-02-2008, 08:48 PM
Oh poor you how awful!!

No i would not have her and her husband round to visit me,the cheek of her!!!

I would be straight on the phone to her tomorrow and tell her i had filled the vacancy and be done with it, i wouldnt want her to step one foot inside my house again with that atitude, the nerve of some people really!!! :angry:

twise
13-02-2008, 08:56 PM
Sarah you have hit the nail on the head.....thats my concern that every little thing is going to be looked at under a microscope and I'm going to be treading on eggshells.

Angel you are right she went about it the wrong way but it was the fact that she didn't listen on the numerous times I had told her.

Maybe I'll see what she has to say on Friday..I wouldn't mind but my husband is here as he is on half term and as I said previously he is not amused ...should be fun

Flipping Parents:angry:

Pipsqueak
13-02-2008, 09:04 PM
That was downright nasty and no you are NOT over reacting, I would say goodbye to them. Anyone who can do that, "test" you in that manner and make accusations that if overheard could be take seriously is totally out of order.

I would be so mad, I would also point out that your husband and the band are thinking of sueing for defamation of character (get your own back!)

wendywu
13-02-2008, 09:34 PM
Sounds like she was the one on drugs!:panic:

Banana
13-02-2008, 09:44 PM
If it was me.... I would have told her in no uncertain terms where to go!!!

x

twise
13-02-2008, 11:02 PM
Thank you all for your advice and letting me vent. I'll let you know how I get on Friday


Good night all...sweet dreams


TracyX

emler
14-02-2008, 03:36 AM
Personally I wouldn't want anything to do with the parents after that little "test". Good for you for giving them a chance on Friday - good luck with the meeting & let us know how it goes

Emler x

Pipsqueak
14-02-2008, 08:35 AM
Emler what on earth where you doing up and posting at :eek: 3.36am!!:eek: :panic:

Twise you are a better person that I am giving them a second chance!

emler
14-02-2008, 08:52 AM
I couldn't sleep Vik. I've been awake since 2am and I'm soooo tired now. Wish I could go back to sleep but I have 2 mindees arriving soon.

Emler x

miffy
14-02-2008, 09:13 AM
What a wierd and strange thing to do

Personally I wouldn't be seeing this person on friday I would tell her i didn't like the way she behaved and that I wasn't joking!

Good for you though if you can give her a second chance and I hope it works out for you

Emler - sorry you had a bad night hope you are OK

Miffy xx

emler
14-02-2008, 09:14 AM
I'm fine thanks Miffy - will be having a cheeky wee nap this afternoon I think :D

Emler x

flora
14-02-2008, 09:25 AM
Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it... :panic:

Im with Sarah on this one. Looking after someones kids relies on a really good working relationship and trust. How do you go forward? Not sure If I could. Trust your instincts, they are usually right. :thumbsup: Sending big hugs to fellow pmt sufferer too :D

Blaze
14-02-2008, 10:18 AM
Blimey...I had to read this twice!!!!

Ring her back & tell her NO!!!!! Forget PMT I'd have gone nuts on a plain normal day!:D
Cheeky:censored:
Tasha:)

bubbly
14-02-2008, 10:53 AM
This woman wasn't my old neighbour was she? :D
She was a weird psycho too!

I couldn't work with ANYONE like that. It's just not normal behaviour and I wouldn't want the stress of waiting for her next blow-up and being on the receiving end. I'd tell her that her outburst worried and upset me and I didn't think we could work together if she already had doubts about my good character.

Then I'd phone the asylum and get her booked in :laughing:

Best of luck :)

susi513
14-02-2008, 11:00 AM
I think it doesn't matter whether she was just making sure or seriously believed there was cause for concern. It doesn't matter if you had pmt or not - she was offensive and you know how she made you feel during that horrible conversation.

If you provide childcare for her I have no doubt she will make you feel that way again.

One of the reasons I enjoy childminding is that I don't have to work with people I don't get on with. We can choose who we offer places to, and I think its just as important to be comfortable talking to the parents as it is to have the child settled and happy in your care. I made the mistake when I first began childminding of giving a place to anyone who asked. So I know what its like to dread the arrival of parent and to feel uncomfortable and on edge the whole time their child is in your care. Now I'm more picky who I accept, I've got a lovely bunch of families who are a pleasure to talk to and its like being part of a huge extended family really.

There are times when people deserve a second chance. I don't think this is one of them.

deeb66
14-02-2008, 07:19 PM
I can't add much more than everyone else has.

Like Tasha I had to read your post several times as I couldn't believe what I was reading!

Steer clear of her.....she is the one on drugs :D

casey's mum
14-02-2008, 07:49 PM
Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it... :panic:

As a lot of other peeps, I am with Sarah on this one! Unfortunatly it is all about C.Y.A (Covering your a**) these days, I would be really concerned working with a parent as unpredictable as this!

Angela xx

LittleMissSparkles
15-02-2008, 12:36 PM
I can't add much more than everyone else has.

Like Tasha I had to read your post several times as I couldn't believe what I was reading!

Steer clear of her.....she is the one on drugs :D


agreed xxx


what was she testing for exactly ??? how you responded ??? how the hell didshe think you'd responde !!!! I wouldnot have her in my home again xxx

twise
15-02-2008, 08:14 PM
Well the hubby and kids cam this morning.....45mins late no phone call. Apologized wife couldn't make it;) !

I have to say the kids were lovely. They were here about two hours:eek: Everything was going fine when alarm bells started to ring a bit when (bearing in mind I already had agreed a price for the both of them for food) he decided to tell me that they only have organic food...I don't buy organic due to the price and to be honest personally I'm not sure it is the best but thats another argument.

He then said they only drink bottled water never from the tap:mad:(this was after i had given one of them a drink of water...from the tap)

Also the baby is in terry nappies and could i just wash them through before I send them home.

After I had finished laughing and realized that this wasn't a Jeremy Beadle (RIP) moment and asked why his wife didn't think to mention this when she was here the first time after I had gone through my list of questions. His reply was she was so excited and happy that she had found a wonderful childminder (thats me by the way;) ) it must have slipped her mind and then he casually slipped in "Thats why she was so upset when she saw your husband smoking whatever it was on the website".

I very calmly asked him if he would accompany me to my other sitting room away from the children. He followed me in and for the first time in my life I looked someone in the eye and told then to gather their stuff together and for want of a better phrase FLIP OFF OUT OF MY HOUSE and do you know what? It felt really goooooood! He did look a bit dumbfounded and accused me of being hasty and unprofessional but as someone on here pointed out I don't have to put up with people like that.

When he left my husband had such a shocked look on his face.... in twenty years i don't think he's seen me be so assertive.

I am so grateful for all your comments and support

Thank you all

Pipsqueak
15-02-2008, 08:29 PM
:thumbsup: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Well done Twise, they sound like a barrel of contradictions!!!

How dare he go ahead and insult you like that - and it was obvious the mother wasn't joking then when she rang you up for her rant if her husband then mentioned it!

ruby
15-02-2008, 08:36 PM
i am gob smacked with the behaviour these parents

good on you for telling them where to go and as you say you do not have to put up with this
we know we would not

well done :clapping: :clapping:

fionamal
15-02-2008, 09:34 PM
Good for you! WHat a blooming cheek. I pity whoever ends up being their minder.

miffy
15-02-2008, 10:14 PM
Well done you :thumbsup:

You are well rid

Hope someone nicer comes along soon

Miffy xx

Banana
15-02-2008, 10:21 PM
Im so chuffed you told him to get out!!

I just read that out to Richard and he said 'good on her, thats exactky what she should have done... and the rest' lol

Well done you


xxxxxxxxxxxxx

wellybelly
15-02-2008, 10:47 PM
I would'nt trust her, she sounds a bot funny. I think you've also been given this little bit of "crystal ball" insite and it could mean you'll be getting involved with someone whose likley to be a problem for you in the future. I would'nt go there.

angeldelight
15-02-2008, 11:47 PM
I am also glad you told him where to go

Would have loved to have seen his face

Serves him right because now due to their insults they have lost a good childminder

Well done

Angel xx

Hopscotch
16-02-2008, 12:42 AM
Ohh you go girl :clapping: i am so pleased you done that, fantastic you were so right to do that as you would have had no end of trouble from these people. the cheeky so and so's they sound a bit weird i had a parent last year was a bit strange and that ended with me asking her to get out of my house in a polite way. It's funny because i am such a placid person and wouldn't say boo to a goose but on that day something inside me just snapped. I think this is what happened to you but well done :jump for joy: :laughing: :clapping:
Bev X

tulip0803
16-02-2008, 12:54 AM
Way to go:clapping: Well done:jump for joy:

Julia

littletreasures
16-02-2008, 09:20 AM
Well done for keeping strong and telling him to get lost.

Good on you. You don't need people like that.

Jules

deeb66
16-02-2008, 02:31 PM
Well done you :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

When I was reading through your last post I was thinking.....hmmm bit cheeky but ok-ish...........then I saw the bit about washing the nappies before sending them home and to be honest I thought at this point that it had to be a wind up.

What planet are these parents on?

I think they are confused......they are obviously thinking they are employing a nanny instead of securing the services of a childminder.

THEN I read the last bit about the drugs again and couldn't believe what I was seeing....how dare they!

I am really impressed and proud of you for telling them where to sling their hook.....well done:clapping: :clapping: