Help please!!! I have a biter!!!

[casey's mum]

I have had a little girl since she was six months old and she now coming up to 2. In the last say 3 months her behaviour has been terrible. Mum and Dad have been struggling with older sisters behaviour and I think it has rubbed off on the little one.

Trouble is I am running out of ideas to deal with her behaviour. She pinched one of the others last week and actually drew blood! She's also pushing, biting and pulling hair!!

Please help, any ideas???

:panic:
Angela xx

[Pipsqueak]

You really need to come up with an action plan to deal with this between you and the parents so you are working of the same page.

What triggers her to pinch/bite? Tiredness, hungry, excited, anxious, happy/loving etc - this might be where some obs come in handy.

Funnily enough - I was reading something on this the other day that children generally do this as a display of emotion - generally affection, they don't know how to express the emotion in them and it results in a bite or pinch. They are also discovering the function of teeth and who better to chomp on than the nearest unsuspecting little one.

I would keep really close eye(s) and if see she is going to do the deed then you say no don't bite/pinch, it hurts. Kind, calm and consistent.

[sarah707]

Biting is a really tough one as it is a very emotive subject - you have to tell the parent that their child has hurt another child and get them to fill in an incident report... and you have to write out an accident report for the poor bitten child.

I always give my attention to the bitten child first off... put on a cold compress, lots of hugs etc... the biter must not get attention from the incident - a quick word to say that was wrong and you are not happy, then straight on to looking after the wounded...

Like Vik says, it's all about consistency - so talk to the parents and come up with an action plan which involves everyone who is responsible for the child.

Good luck! :D

[ma7ie]

I have a similar problem with my own daughter who has just turned 2. Just recently she has started being very nasty to one of her dolls. She bangs it on the floor, sits on it and is always telling it it's naughty.

It's not like she is copying anybody as she has never been smacked and we very rarely shout at her as I try to use positive discipline with her.

She also quite often tells me or her dad how naughty we are. We used to pretend we were upset when she did this, but soon realised we were making the situation worse as she seemed to enjoy it.

We now just ignore her when she's like this.

I'm now just hoping she doesn't start hurting my mindees because she is already "telling them off"

When I read this back to myself it sounds quite funny but she really is quite horrible to this particular doll. It must be an age thing I think (I hope!)

Marie x

[casey's mum]

Mum, Dad and are have sat down and spoken about this and it appears that we are singing from same hymn sheet, as it were. There are no obvious triggers or no particular victims, it can be anyone at anytime really.

Accident incidents are done as soon as any injury etc is dealt with.

Kind, calm and consistant has always been my practice as is drummed into you as a social workers assisstant but between the parents and I we are not appearing to make any headway.
Think it a bit of a shock to me as none of mine went through the whole biting thing, actually tell a lie my now 11 year old bit someone when he was little and attending playgroup and they bit him back so hard he never did it again.
Apparently she is starting to be a little aggressive to Mum and Dads dog too with sly little kicks if /when it goes past. Have started doing some work on this with all my mindees using the dogstrust paws booklet. Fingers crossed we will start seeing positive changes in the not too distant future.

Thanks
Angela xx

[Pipsqueak]

It sounds like that this little girl is "acting out" a little if she is doing this at home towards mum and dad - what have they noticed are the triggers.
There are nearly always triggers for something that happens, have you done formal obs, have the parents noted down incidents when they happen and exactly what was happening immediately before such as little girl was trying to get attention from parents who may have been busy, etc

It is nearly always a phase they go through as I am sure you know, some bite, some find a different release for their frustration, emotion.
Its such a hard one to deal with and I know what I would say as a mother (but I won't say so on here!).

A human bite can be worse than a dog bite and if her actions are causing serious injury to others - such as drawing blood then I think (for the safety and wellbeing of all concerned) then the parents need to really get a handle on it at home.

I would give lots of positive reinforcement for good and wanted behaviours, talk a little about what teeth are for (eating food and preferably not your playmate), about not hurting others etc,

Failing all that buy a muzzle???:D

[angeldelight]

I agree with everyone else

My grandson got into biting though and we tried everything and it just did not work

He just stopped himself in the end thankfully

You need to work with the parents though whatever plan of action you take so not to confuse the child

Angel xx

[deeb66]

Loads of advice already given Angela.

Don't forget to complete an incident report for both the biter and the child that has been bitten.......as if we don't have enough paperwork as it is :rolleyes:

[Spangles]

Not sure if this will be helpful to you

http://childcare.about.com/od/behaviors/a/stopbitingtips.htm

It mentions a book called Teeth are not for Biting in it and I've seen this advertised in the Festival Shop I think, might be worth looking at depending on what age it's for?

Sorry can't be more help. Hope it's sorted out soon. x