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loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 10:47 AM
Iv just switched my phone on and got a message from my mindees Mum at 8.33pm last night saying ... Me and X were just watching the chart show and shes told me that you watch Dizzy Rascal and Eminem ?x

Iv replied to her asking what she means as the only music we listen to when shes here is that on CBBC ? so i dont know why she would say that ?

What do i do ??? I know children say things that are not true but its becoming more often with this mindee and i feel im being accussed of stuff im not doing.

FizzysFriends
13-05-2009, 10:50 AM
Talk to her when she collects today and tell (dont explain tell her as the child is making it up) her this is not the case. If the child makes things up about home and tells you, you could tell mom these and hope it clicks that the child has an imagination.

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 10:53 AM
Talk to her when she collects today and tell (dont explain tell her as the child is making it up) her this is not the case. If the child makes things up about home and tells you, you could tell mom these and hope it clicks that the child has an imagination.

Well she told me the other day she doesnt eat animals anymore just after having spaghetti bolognaise, so i had to ask Mum, Mum said she personally has stopped eating pork but not mindee ?

mumof1
13-05-2009, 10:54 AM
wat age is this child? alot of children would just make alot of stuff up for know reason! but my advice is, just be very careful. just incase this child makes up more serious things. i would talk to the mum aswell.

hope you get it sorted xx

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 11:04 AM
wat age is this child? alot of children would just make alot of stuff up for know reason! but my advice is, just be very careful. just incase this child makes up more serious things. i would talk to the mum aswell.

hope you get it sorted xx

She nearly 5, I was thinking that myself, but im not sure what to say, apart from what iv already text her, i know Mum would struggle to find another minder if i said i couldnt look after her anymore.

I am really careful, the other day after i collected her from school, i walked in the house and my partner was watching something on playback and i told him to switch it off whilst they were in the hall taking their coats off so its something im mindful of.

Spangles
13-05-2009, 11:10 AM
It's a hard situation to be in. I think I would discuss it with the parent so that she's aware that this is happening incase the mindee comes out with something more serious.

Also maybe keep a note of things she's said about being with you and also at home that are untruths so you have a history.

You could ask the mindee why she said what she said without accusing her of anything so that she knows you are aware of it. Say it jokingly or something.

Also maybe you could brush on the subject of lying by getting a book from the library, telling the 'Boy who cried wolf' story etc, maybe make a story sack about this one? Just do it subtly for the time being and give her something to think about.

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 11:17 AM
It's a hard situation to be in. I think I would discuss it with the parent so that she's aware that this is happening incase the mindee comes out with something more serious.

Also maybe keep a note of things she's said about being with you and also at home that are untruths so you have a history.

You could ask the mindee why she said what she said without accusing her of anything so that she knows you are aware of it. Say it jokingly or something.

Also maybe you could brush on the subject of lying by getting a book from the library, telling the 'Boy who cried wolf' story etc, maybe make a story sack about this one? Just do it subtly for the time being and give her something to think about.

I might try that, thanks. There have been times where iv had to tell Mum of Mindees behaviour, and the next time iv had her the behaviour hasnt changed and iv asked mindee what Mum said last time, and mindee has said that mum said it doesnt matter ??

sarah707
13-05-2009, 11:17 AM
5 year olds often explore truth and fiction...

They make things up to see what the reaction is especially if they think they might cause a bit of mayhem.

It's more common between mum and dad and especially if they are separated, but it can happen with childminders, schools etc.

Make sure your safeguarding policy is absolutely clear on the steps you take if an allegation is made against you, a family member, a visitor etc. These children do not realise the weight of what they say sometimes.

Hth :D

Andrea08
13-05-2009, 11:39 AM
IT upsets me when children do this ill give an example in short if i can,,,

child A cuts her hair at nursery and another childs hair too
nursery tells me, i tell mum

In bathroom child A tells me the mark on her leg was because;;;;;

mummy got cross so i told her off so she scratched me

so i wrote this down for referance and kept on file

mum arrives next day and says;;; its not my child A cutting hair its the other children i know my child would not do this and she said she didnt do it etc etc

so i said ok well if you are sure your daughter not telling stories and is not responsible for XYZ (the list goes on a lot) could you please explain to me why your daughter has said you have scratched her and read out my observation notes :D im not just a pretty blond lol

well the look on mums face,,, she asked her DD why she said that and now i think mum realises DD as do all young children tell stories (i never used the work lies)

but this child will tell all sorts of stories and i often wonder how many times i have to explain the story CRY WOLF and the importance of understanding what is a story and what realy did happen...

good luck with this family, and alway add notes in your obs file if the child tells you something that could be questionable..

well

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 12:01 PM
Just found an online puppet show about the boy who cried wolf, so i think we'll be watching it tonight.

wendywu
13-05-2009, 12:11 PM
They do it all the time at that age. I was waiting outside school for D age 5 to come out. In the end i asked his teacher where he was. She said Oh he told me he was doing after school club. :panic: So she had to go down to collect him from the hall.

Then he told me his uncle was picking him up. I said D you do not have an uncle.

Hes told me mum was having a baby and she is a single mum:laughing:

But i always tell all mums when children make up stories and have a laugh about it. Just so they are aware of the porkies their little ones can tell:laughing:

Pipsqueak
13-05-2009, 12:19 PM
in total agreement with what everyone is saying - kids explore the boundaries of stories and fact - often getting them mixed up. They say things they have heard elsewhere (from their pals), they say things they have seen or heard on tv.

I would document this. Child seems to be a bit specific about what they have watched on tv (Dizzy and Em) so she has got it from somewhere - older sibs, mum/dad watching it somewhere.....

I used to have a mindee (I am sure some of you remember) who made up some wonderful tall tales - mum thought they were so cute and wonderful - UNTIL it was something that involved her daughter and possible 'harm' to her - it was never her daughter who done the hair cutting, squeezing of the throat etc etc - it was the child who was being done harm to who was the instigator because her daughter NEVER made up stories:rolleyes:

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 03:06 PM
We watched The boy who cried wolf and then played a game as she clealry understood that the little boy was telling lies (she even said that lying is naughty). We then played a game where i said something and they had to say weather it was the truth or a lie, i slipped the we watch Eminem and Dizzy Rascal at my house and she said thats a lie ... so i dont know what to think.

I discussed it with her and she said Mummy said it first, i then asked her if she had watched Eminem or Dizzy Rascal at my house and she said she watched Bonkers ?? I dont know if the song has endorsed an advert recently and she may have heard it that way here, but i wouldn have thought so.

We usually watch CBBC, and then the local news from 6pm. Mum has asked to increase her hours in June and now im just dreading having to have her for longer in case the incident happens again or is more severe next time. I know when i speak to her later shes just going to make a joke of it as she does always, but im taking this really serious as you never know what it can lead to :(

Blue Boy
13-05-2009, 04:00 PM
Iv just switched my phone on and got a message from my mindees Mum at 8.33pm last night saying ... Me and X were just watching the chart show and shes told me that you watch Dizzy Rascal and Eminem ?x

Iv replied to her asking what she means as the only music we listen to when shes here is that on CBBC ? so i dont know why she would say that ?

What do i do ??? I know children say things that are not true but its becoming more often with this mindee and i feel im being accussed of stuff im not doing.

Our children get to hypper without watching izzy Rascal and Eminem. God knows what they would be like if they did:panic: They get the Tumble Tots if they are lucky althought once you have heard "Wiggly Woo" a few times you feel as though you are on speed:eek:

Love
Mick xx

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 04:17 PM
Our children get to hypper without watching izzy Rascal and Eminem. God knows what they would be like if they did:panic: They get the Tumble Tots if they are lucky althought once you have heard "Wiggly Woo" a few times you feel as though you are on speed:eek:

Love
Mick xx

Well thats made me smile xx

Mummits
13-05-2009, 04:31 PM
My new after schoolie (5) is a great maker up of tall tales. He also tries to get his own way a lot with my kids by saying if they don't do what he wants then he will tell me they did/said xyz (I have overheard him saying this a few times so know they are not making it up). So I make point of telling his Mum when she picks up about the stories he has told so she hopefully will get the idea that he isn't always a reliable source, to put it mildly! The other day he told me he had a ten year old sister, had a neme for her and all sorts of details. I said funny your Mum never mentions her and he said Mum doesn't know!

gegele
13-05-2009, 04:42 PM
The other day he told me he had a ten year old sister, had a neme for her and all sorts of details. I said funny your Mum never mentions her and he said Mum doesn't know!

oh my i'm sure mum would be pleased to hear that one LOL

I hope my DD makes stories as she told me that when she was a cat she had hatching eggs, sat on them keep them warm and they hatched !!!!! so she said MIAW!!!! :eek: :eek: :D :D

helenlc
13-05-2009, 04:48 PM
My friends daughter did this once when she was about 5/6. She came into the playground quite a way ahead of Mum as she was chatting in the other playground.

She says "I walked myself to school today - Mummy couldnt be bothered!". I told her that this wasnt a very clever thing to say and that mummy could get in trouble if somebody really believed her.

Its so easy for kids to say things and then be taken out of context, elaborated on etc. I would keep a book or diary of things she says happened at home or when she was not with you that dont sound right. Then you have a record of what she has been saying and if Mum questions again about her telling stories, you can tell her some of the ones she has told you.

loobyloo168
13-05-2009, 05:05 PM
I remember when i worked in a school nursery 10 years ago one of my recepeion class telling me that Mummy wasnt going to collect her today because she drank a bottle of vodka, fell down the stairs and broke her hip last night ?? We told mum when she came and collected her and she wasnt half embarassed !

cuddlybunny38
13-05-2009, 06:16 PM
My sister and her ex hubby are having this but my neice who is doing it is 13, my sister has been seperated for about 11 yera so neice doesnt rememebr him living there. Only this week she told some lies and my sister and ex had a huge barney, they have sorted it now but neice is stil denying that she did any thing. She is a pain anyway at my 40th she was going up to people in the family and saying " i hate you" then walking off, my sister just said thats what 13 year old girls do........... I know mine didnt, but kept quite as didnt want a family row. I only see her accsionally.(sp)