View Full Version : Unsettled child

11-05-2009, 01:50 PM
Can anyone give me some advice as to what they would do/think of this situation.

I have two siblings who started at the beginning March 2009 . They both came for settling in with and without their Mum. Settled well for the first month. The youngest is 20 mths and the oldest is nearly 4 yrs. The youngest has constantly cried now since beg. April and because they only come on a Mon and Tues I feel it is a very long time til their next day with me so I have spoken to Mum who can't change days or anything else to make it a shorter week before they come to me next. To top it off the littleone is much better when the older one is at nursery. Both are quite difficult children according to Mum.

This is affecting my 11 yr old during homework times and affecting my other child I look after. Also, the older sibling begs me to stop the crying. Mum says he is like it all the time.

What do I do. We are trying to work together on this but I do not know how much longer I can go on like this?

Is it time to call it a day or do I persevere longer?

11-05-2009, 02:58 PM
If you think that it would help to shorten the time between them coming to you could you suggest that you have the little one an extra day or half day and negotiate some sort of deal re payment? Its a difficult one this because generally it calms down after a while but it can be a nightmare whilst its happening.

If you can do the extra time - preferably during school hours then you could put a time limit on it and say to mum that if there is no improvement then you would have to give notice. Not all children settle but hopefully trying to increase the time will increase the sense of security the child has with you.

I care occassionally for a child you is nearly two and screams initially then calms down. However, if his big brother is around its always worse.

Hope i have made sense - have a tendancy to waffle - sorry.

Hope you work it out

The Juggler
11-05-2009, 03:59 PM
If mum says he cries constantly at home as well, this sounds worrying. I might think about persuading her to have him checked over by a GP or health visitor. This does not sound right.


11-05-2009, 04:38 PM
It doesn't sound right to me either. I would like to be a fly on the wall in their house. They are neighbours (over road) and I know they are difficult children but they have had lots of changes, a couple of different childcare situations ina short space of time etc and the children are incharge at home.

I have suggested an extra half day for the little one , problem being Mum has let this go on a bit and now I do not have the vacancies. I did keep the places open for a while for her. Decisions seem to come hard for the parents.

I suggested the health visitor for informal discussion and Mum is so worried she is looking down the route of a child physcologist. Its all a bit of a nightmare as we feel it is affecting my family and the other littleone I look after. my husband doesn't come home from work til they have gone...lolol

Will try and have another chat with Mum tomorrow as today has been another exceptionally bad day with both children

11-05-2009, 05:04 PM
hi ... a little bit of a different approach for mum ... maybe suggest she takes her LO to see a cranial osteopath. my ds was distraught about many things and very unhappy (at 4 yrs) ( we had no idea what was wrong/why ) and he was on the waiting list to see a child psychologist, but a friend suggested i try a cranial osteopath, and as i was willing to try anything to solve the issue, i did, and within a few visits, he was back to his normal self.

i don't know what she ( C.O. ) did ( even though she explained it all to me! ) but she said she was 'easing his system' and he definately relaxed! she also said that if she couldn't help, and i was willing to try other 'alternatives', she would be able to recomend other practitioners to me.

good luck to everyone, hugs to you.