a rant!!!

[bibby76]

hi all ive come here to have a bit of a rant ( hope its not to long!)

I have been caring for twins since last oct they are prem born by 8 weeks. They are both poorly regularly, chest infections, sickness etc, well today the parent approached me and explained they both had sickness and diarrhea over the bank holiday weekend ( i did too, it wasnt nice!!!) Well she basically blamed me for taking them to playgroups! saying this is where they are gettin there illnesses from! She even said she was thinking off changing childminder to see if this helped!!!!
how annoyed was i!!!!!:angry:
I tried to explain that becuz they are prem, there immune system may be a bit low! She left me feeling very low and thinking why do i bother!!!!
Anyway, i dont really know what to do, i care for these boys full time and care for them as if they were my own:(
What would you do? its never happened before :eek:


rant over:p

for now:jump for joy:

[TheBTeam]

Hi, couldn't just read and run, i don't really know what to suggest, because it sounds like these are a big part of your income so you can not just dump them! I think you obviously need to clear the air with the parent, because you can not hide the children away, it isn't good for them or for your job either, but you also don't want her upsetting you for doing your job.

I am sorry i don't know what to suggest but really hope all works out well for you.

[Pedagog]

My youngest was very prem (23 weeker), how old are they?

[claireodon]

Must be hurtful for you that she has blamed you for making them ill. But speaking as mum of a child born 17 weeks early, I can understand that feeling that they should be wrapped in cotton wool because they've been through so much already just to survive. Plus, if she's been up with poorly twins all weekend she's probably tired, feeling guilty that she goes to work and doesn't look after them herself and you've got the brunt of it. Hope you're able to work it out with her.

(Makes me realise why every CM I spk to says parents are the worst thing about CMing :laughing: )

[bibby76]

Thanks for reply BT.

Its hard because i think going to groups helps children immensly, I did try and talk to parent today explaining that no matter where they went, children would be there! but felt i was getting nowhere:panic:
Think i will have to see what happens tomorrow:D

[bibby76]

there 13 months now, ive had them since they were 6 months.

Ive been through all there illnesses with them, and would never want them to get ill. And mom looks very tired, she told me how she took them to a&e on sat because she was so worried about them.
Hoping they sleep through tonight and she gets a good rest!

Thanks all:clapping: feel better all ready:jump for joy:

[nannymcflea]

Well it's up to her if she wants to change minders but more fool her eh!If she finds one that doesn't go to toddler groups then she's found one who's not going to give her children an enhanced enviroment.This is why people send their children to minders, we can take them to places to socialise, learn about the world and all that goes with it, not being stuck in a sterile enviroment.

Stick with your guns, their immune systems will catch up. I have a lo that was 10 weeks prem, had that child for a year, runny nose and all,asthma,chest infections the lot...fortunately my parent is not so short sighted!

See if you can read up on developing a good immune system and give her something to read.Or suggest she sends them to nursery where germs sit and stagnate all day in one area!

You're obviously doing a good job.I'd try and find some literature to back you up.:thumbsup:

[vix84]

Id hate it if a parent said that to me, I feel so close to the children, especially if I have them from a young age, so its quite hurtfull for the parents to kind of dismiss the care you give them etc.

I would explain to them that you actually feel quite hurt that they would want to find another Childminder, and that you really enjoy having the boys and would hate to loose them. And also that the majority of Childminders go to toddler groups etc. and personally, Id wonder why other Childminders would happily stay in all the time with the twins. Wouldnt they all get bored of being inside and in the same environment all the time?

I think they will have the same problem wherever they go - other mindee's also bring the illnesses in etc. My lot have been ill on and off for the last 8 weeks with colds and bugs as my son gets them from outings etc. and then passes them around, and then the others get a new one and it all starts all over again!

[Mouse]

Maybe mum was feeling worn out after a bad weekend with them & took it out on you without meaning to. Could you have a chat with her & go through your hygiene routine with her, so that she knows you do everything to help prevent them becoming ill (handwashing, cleaning surfaces etc). Hopefully she'd see that changing childminder would probably not make a difference as you already do what you can.

Also explain that most childminders would take them to playgroups, so they are going to be exposed to other children. Do they have a health visitor? Perhaps suggest mum talks to her & she'd probably say that it's better for children to mix with others rather than stay away.

[bibby76]

Knew you would all understand!!!!:clapping:
My other half said " dont worry about it" Im like what!!!!!:mad:

I suppose its hard for him to understand:laughing: Not being a childminder!


THank for all your wonderfull ideas:clapping:

[Daftbat]

Maybe mum was feeling worn out after a bad weekend with them & took it out on you without meaning to. Could you have a chat with her & go through your hygiene routine with her, so that she knows you do everything to help prevent them becoming ill (handwashing, cleaning surfaces etc). Hopefully she'd see that changing childminder would probably not make a difference as you already do what you can.

Also explain that most childminders would take them to playgroups, so they are going to be exposed to other children. Do they have a health visitor? Perhaps suggest mum talks to her & she'd probably say that it's better for children to mix with others rather than stay away.

My feelings too. Sounds like mum is shattered and just taking it out on you. Its not fair i know but just go with the flow for now - you never know there may be an apology soon:group hug:

[Blue Boy]

Poor you:( as someone else said dealing with the parents can be the hardest thing to do in this business. Did she sign a permission form for you to take the little ones to groups when you signed contracts. if she did she has got nothing to complain about.
it must be hard for her, but she should still consider your feelings

[Blue Boy]

Poor you:( as someone else said dealing with the parents can be the hardest thing to do in this business. Did she sign a permission form for you to take the little ones to groups when you signed contracts? if she did she has got nothing to complain about.
It must be hard for her to see her children sick, we all think that way about our own, but she should still consider your feelings.

Hope things get better, I am sure she will come round. Just think apart from the little ones parents, you are the best thing to have come into their lives.

lots of Love

Mick xx

[Zoomie]

Awww, poor you.

Many years ago, when my DS1 was 14 months old, he went through a stage of being sick, needing antibiotics, runny tummy from the anitbiotics, the spendng another week healing his bottom, and way and behold, the cycle would start again ... it lasted for 5 months and he was on antibiotics 8x in that period.

I was at my wits end. I was taking days and days off work, I had him at GP literally every three weeks (I even had GP's home number, twas private though), evetually pediatrician and homopath (or similar) and they all told me it was cos he was exposed to other children, but I didn't have a choice ...

Then magically, one day the cycle stopped, and he wasn't sick for a whole 8 month period thereafter ... his poor little immune system had finally caught up.:D.

Hopefully mum will give you a chance a little longer and then things will evetually sort themselves out.

[wendywu]

Tell her when the boys are 21 playing rugby, driving fast cars and doing all the things young men do, she will look back and smile to herself that she worried about them going to toddler groups:)

[bibby76]

Thanks for all the wonderfull advice!!:thumbsup:
gonna see how things progress!
shall keep you updated!!!