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mushpea
30-04-2009, 05:51 PM
lunch!!
I posted a while ago on here about a little fella who makes him self sick at lunch time on purpose, he seems to do it when he dosent want to do somthing. he did start to get better but is now getting worse again both at home and at mine yet nothing we can think of has changed. normal when he starts to heave i say nothing and take him to the toilet, had previously tried saying NO to him but he ignored and then put everyone esle of their lunch so have no choice but to take him to the toilet, I leave him there and when i cant hear the coughing anymore i then take him back to the tabel all with as little attention as possible as we belive it to be an attention thing. however today after sitting him back at the table i took his lunch away saying if you are ill you cant eat, expect him to get upset at which i was going to say then you need to eat it nicely and not be ill but he didnt get upset and was infact quiet happy about not having his dinner even though me and two other mindees were eating our dinner.
I wonder if its worth giving him lunch, he has a good breakfast and eats both his tea , his mums and part of his nans!!!!! so maybe he dosent need lunch, have mentioned that becuase he is eating so much at brekfast and tea that it could be putting him of his lunch but got no where.
so the question is should i just sit him at the table with everyone else at lunch time but with no lunch and see his reaction? if he moans and wants lunch then give it to him but if he dosent moan then give him nothing? part of me says thers no point in giving him lunch cause he either dont eat it or throws it back up but part of me says its wrong not to offer him any but the thing is when i offer him lunch he says yes he wants it every time but then is sick
what to do?

HENNY
30-04-2009, 06:36 PM
Could you perhaps try putting some sandwiches and different bits of things in the middle of the table and then giving him an empty plate and letting him help himself to what he wants-that way he can feel less pressured and at the same time you are offering food.Have you tried arranging the food to form a picture e.g a funny face.It must be a very difficult problem to deal with but I'm sure you will find a way to help him.:thumbsup:

madasahatter
30-04-2009, 07:18 PM
That's a really difficult question, for which my only answer could be that you must continue to have open discussions with mum/dad about their child's eating. (You haven't said how old he is or if you are providing snacks at other times). There are however a few things you could do. Have you tried serving the food in dishes in the centre of the table for children to choose/serve themselves? I find this can be helpful with fussy eaters, often being more willing to try something if they can choose it themselves rather than have it presented 'fait accompli' on a plate in front of them. Also he may only choose a small amount that may not make him heave.

I certainly wouldn't with-hold lunch from him without explicit permission from parents and then it would be very reluctantly.
I hate to see food wasted, but you have to remind yourself sometimes that all the food costs are deducted from your gross income as expenses, so in real terms throwing the children's food away doesn't impact on your income (you would have spent the same on food whether they'd eaten it or thrown it on the floor).
Don't know if any of that helps, but I wish you luck.

Demonjill
30-04-2009, 07:38 PM
Speak again to the parents cos its strange that he got better but is regressing back again is it not?

What about just giving him a snack at lunch time like finger foods eg cheese, fruit, raisins etc it might be all he needs at that time.

And continue giving as little attention as possible if he is sick but remember to reward him when he has done well.:thumbsup:

youarewhatyoueat
30-04-2009, 07:48 PM
I agree with both of the above replies, don't withhold lunch but do a picnic style lunch, a choice of sandwiches, breadsticks, fruit etc. and no pressure or any comment on what he eats if anything. perhaps make a smoothie to drink as pudding. Or let him help prepare the food,put a loaf of bread and fillings on the table and everyone can choose or make pizza. Make lunch time fun,perhaps skip snack time and bring lunch forward and turn it into an activity,even the little ones can help.
good luck, let us know what happens
Caroline

huggableshelly
30-04-2009, 08:40 PM
I would also look at giving him a smaller breakfast too if possible.

sarah707
30-04-2009, 08:48 PM
You can't not give a child food through the day.

The eyfs says they must be provided with regular food... also it's not good for their tummies to be stretched, then starved, it's storing up food issues for later life.

Mum needs to get urgent advice from the health visitor and you need to put food in front of him and hope that he starts relaxing and nibbling. You are doing the right thing by not making a fuss it's all you can do.

I agree with the others he needs a smaller breakfast.


Hth :D

mushpea
01-05-2009, 07:28 AM
I have spoken to mum about having a smaller breakfast but she says she gives him a smaller portion the takes hers when shes not looking!! dont seem to be able to get through to them that he is eating far to much at dinner and breakfast. then in the next breath they say they have to force him to eat breakfast as he wont eat it!!
he is 2yrs 3months old. he dosent have a sanck in the morning as i know he has a later breakfast and when offered snak he just dosent want it. he dosent have an afternoon snack if he dosent eat lunch and then goes home at 4pm so dosent have his dinner with me.
in the last lot of hols we had several trips out with picnics, i do a box of different sandwichs to choose from then fruit, mini sausages, crisps and youghurt or jelly all of which are in thier own boxs for children to help themsleves to. He is quite understanding of things so new he could choose but just sat there and drank his water, didnt want to eat anything everyday, I did take a sandwich out for him but he just held it in his hand totaly disinterested in eating yet happy to sit whilst the others ate their lunch. if he had been fidigty and wanted to get up all the time you could say it was cause he wanted to go and play but he just sat happily holding his sandwich and having his water.
I truly belive that he just isnt hungry at lunch time because of the amount he eats other times, have tried on several occasions to explain this to both mum and nan (they share care of him) but they just shrug sholders and say oh well not to worry. as i have also explained to them when he goes to school they will expect him to eat lunch then but obviously that is a while away yet so he could be changed by then.
I appriciate that whether he eats the food or throws it back up that food would have gone anyway so not too worried about the waste, although am getting concerned on how it is affecting the two other kids i have in my care now as its not nice to sit with somone who takes one bite of their sand wich then starts heaving.
thats the other thing, it is after one bite some days that he starts trying to be sick but when i take him to the loo nothing comes out, hes not gagging on the food either .

mandy moo
01-05-2009, 12:42 PM
Not too sure about this, but what if Mum was to provide a packed lunch for him?
If its in his own special bag & lunch box, that HE's chosen and brought with mum, I wonder if this might help?
Also if he doesnt eat what his mum provided, at least you've offered his lunch to him? As I ve said not sure how this works if he refuses this also?
What time does he get to you, if its early morning could you give him breakfast instead of mum?

mushpea
01-05-2009, 01:08 PM
he gets to me around 10am so breakfast at mine not an option, i wish he would just refuse the food if he didn't want it, this i could deal with but instead he chooses to eat a small bit then throw up which isnt nice for the others.

Helen79
01-05-2009, 01:16 PM
I have a similar problem with 2 of my mindees, 1 doesn't eat his sandwiches in the hope he'll get chocolate. He has a chocolate bar on the way to my house in the morning & then won't eat his dinner cos he's holding out for his bar on the way home too :mad:
I just give him a very small sandwich & if he eats it he gets something else. If not he gets down when everyone else has finished. He always seems happy just to sit & watch the other children. parent's always just say 'oh never mind, not to worry' but it is quite frustrating when you make food knowing that they won't eat it. only to get chocolate later.

It's frustrating when the parent's think that because the children are doing it in the childminders home that it doesn't affect them so they don't have to worry about it.

mushpea
01-05-2009, 03:11 PM
maybe i should ask him 'would you like a sandwich today or not?' then if he says no not give him one, but do you think i should let him play whilst the others eat or sit at the table, my thinking is he should still sti at the table for the social side and also its not fair on the others as they will all want to play but is it right to make him sit at table if he dosent want to eat? am i right to let him choose and if he says no not give him anything?

youarewhatyoueat
01-05-2009, 03:34 PM
I would get some advice from an expert, child psychologist or ask your cdo who to ask, what about a health visitor but with the blessing of the parents before this becomes an issue. Sounds quite a complex problem and you seem to have tried all the obvious solutions, and you sound quite caring and worried.

Mouse
01-05-2009, 03:40 PM
Does he do it with all food, or is it just certain food that he heaves on? Does he do the same at home? What do parents do at lunchtime? If he heaves, will he actually be sick?

It doesn't sound as if he's going to starve, so I think I would ask him if he wanted something to eat and if he says no, leave it at that. Give him something pretty mundane to do while the rest of you eat, so he isn't having any fun (sounds cruel, but you need to make the time when he should be sat at the table as dull as possible!)

I think you need to break this habit that he's got into of refusing or picking at food, them throwing it up. Make as little fuss as possible of him at lunchtime, but make lunch with the other mindees sound like great fun, so he realises he's missing out.

After maybe a couple of weeks, try getting him to sit at the table again. Give him a small amount to chose from. How is he with drinks? Would he have a milkshake or smoothy if he can't manage solid food?

I woul also urge mum to get him some help. Could it be that he has an over sensitive mouth? This could make him heave, which would put him off eating.

mushpea
02-05-2009, 09:08 AM
he does it with any food, one day it could be a sandwich the next its sausage roll which aparently he loves! I have just done another more detailed food questionaire for all the parents so am going to use this as a talking point with mum or nan or both when its completed. I think when he does it at home they shout at him and make such a fuss so he ends up getting the atteniton, here i just queitly clean him up saying nothing which i have told them and explained that even neg attentino is giving him what he wants but dont get anywhere with it. I know at home he will make him self sick in the night if noone goes to him and also if mum leaves the house whilst at nans he does it too probably to try and stop mum from going. mum does struggle, she even walked out on him (nan was there ) after having an argument with him over somthing ,,hes 2yrs!!, and she has stopped working but wants him to come to me still to give them both a break. poor boy has lots going on in his life so you can sort of understand it but it is grose for the others.
think this week i will ask him if he wants a sandwich or not and if he says no he can sit at the table and do colouring.