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View Full Version : probably not been asked before but what would you do?



sammy
26-04-2009, 09:31 PM
i have a 2 year old 2 mornings a week for 2 hours (been a year now that ive had him)

ive been taking him to my childminding playgroup and he would cry. I told the mum about his behaviour, and as he seems to cry more when out - she thinks that he doesnt like it there and will say in the mornings are you going to your house today - he likes your house! (but he can still get unsettled at mine and will make himself sick after coughing!)

Anyway i dont want to be stuck in my house when i have him,

I tried another childminding playgroup last week and he cried the whole time and nearly made himself sick.


I want to go weekly, so should i phone the mum if he crys for more than half an hour to get him, or should i be a prisoner in my own home?????????

sammy
26-04-2009, 11:02 PM
30 people have viewed this now, does no-one know what they would do in this situation? as i have him tommorow, and not sure if it would be acceptable to phone the parent to get him if he crys?

Blaze
26-04-2009, 11:38 PM
Personally I would give notice...life is way too short (but then I am probably not in the right frame of mood to answer this right now)! Sorry!

sammy
26-04-2009, 11:47 PM
actually i do agree -lol. He is leaving end of july as going to preschool, so a good thing really - i always get the wingy, clingy kids!! Why cant i get an easy one that wants to play with me!

FizzysFriends
27-04-2009, 06:45 AM
If its only 2hours twice a week can't you just stay in for those 2 hours?

I think if he has a problem being with large groups of people mom needs to address it before he starts pre-school.

christine e
27-04-2009, 06:47 AM
actually i do agree -lol. He is leaving end of july as going to preschool, so a good thing really - i always get the wingy, clingy kids!! Why cant i get an easy one that wants to play with me!

By taking him out of the house and to childminding groups we are helping children prepare for preschool so you are doing him no favours by staying in the house and you obviously don't like staying in (neither do I) so if you are keeping him then carry on with the childminding group visits.

Cx

singlewiththree
27-04-2009, 06:52 AM
I would probably stay in just for the 2 hours but do garden activities etc, walk on the canal/park. My own DD hates social groups and cries every time my CM still took her and I do too but only the ones where she shows a slight interest. It is a personal preference really what to do but if it was one of mine I would do something else with them rather than a group activity. You dont necessarily have to stay in you could visit the library etc

Daftbat
27-04-2009, 07:00 AM
What about having someone come to your house for coffee and play time rather than going to playgroup? Perhaps another minder? It may just be the number of people at one time he needs to get used to and you could wean him by having visitors at your house.

If this doesn't work then you have to give serious thought to ending contract if you are desperate to go out rather than stay in.

PixiePetal
27-04-2009, 07:15 AM
I would also suggest having another minder round to play. Work up to going with them to park and then onto groups. He would get familiar with a few people first.

Some children never like going to groups but as this is such a short space of time, I wouldn't beat myself up about it. Have a friend round and play :)

wendywu
27-04-2009, 07:17 AM
I would go out to the playgroup for the two hours. No way would i call the mum if he cries, this can be the nature of the job i am afraid. I always maintain physical contact with mindee while they are crying. Sit them on the floor between your legs and stroke their hair, or stand them up between your legs and pat their backs. I try to avoid sitting them on my lap for the WHOLE session.:panic:

But at least he is mixing with other children and as already posted you are getting him ready for pre school. By staying in he will have a harder time when he has to be out and about and mixing.

Good luck.

Buzz Lightyear
27-04-2009, 07:33 AM
What about having someone come to your house for coffee and play time rather than going to playgroup? Perhaps another minder?

I agree with Penny. My little mindee was like this although not so much when we actually went out but he would cry for his Mummy. It was evident he needed a playmate and so asked the lovely Misst104 round to play with her little ones. Worked a treat and now 2 out of 3 times a week that he comes, we go to toddler groups and he loves them! No crying for Mummy and am really enjoying having him now :clapping: I however, would call his mum if he cried that much and made himself sick which is what he did. I was lucky though in that Mum doesn't work so she could just come and sit with him. All part of settling in I am guessing.

Some great advice coming through though. Hope you get the answer you are looking for.

wendywu
27-04-2009, 08:07 AM
Really two hours is not enough time for a child to settle into the setting. Bless him he just gets used to you and has to go. Shame really:panic:

Blaze
27-04-2009, 08:48 AM
I was coming back to offer some better advice, but see you've already been given it!:thumbsup:

Spangles
27-04-2009, 09:14 AM
Poor little man, he obviously finds it very stressful.

I think I agree with the others, invite another childminder round yours who doesn't have too many loud littluns, take him to the park, maybe take him to the group but for only a short time to begin with and build up. Phone round and see if you can find a group that's smaller and quieter? Take him to story listening sessions at the local library where it will be quiet and calm but he will still be with other children. Could you get together for a few weeks outside the group with someone else who goes and then once he's familiar and friends with their children go together as a group?

All this is obviously very limited by the few hours you have him a week and what's on during that time though!

As it's only 4 hours a week, if none of that helped, I would just stay in with him and play. He has plenty of other hours in the week to socialise with children too other than just your 4!

sammy
27-04-2009, 09:19 AM
thanks for all your advice, i do have my own 2 year old and a 16 month old at the same time, and i have had friends over, but its just going out, as soon as we get out the car to go out he crys, and we always go to the same place so its not different places all the time

I did have him 4 mornings a week in the beginning but now its down to 2 as hes mum works from home.

I feel that i should be able to go out and about and its good for them to have new experiences, im not sure his mum takes him out an awful lot, so thats probably why we have the problem. But i have had him a year now, so he should be settled with me by now.

Maybe i should carry on trying to go as you say he will find it very difficult starting preschool if he hasnt got used to playing in large groups.

huggableshelly
27-04-2009, 09:22 AM
I have one who doesnt like certain places, I kept trying different things, he loves the library but doesnt enjoy storytime so we go on our own and sit together. He never enjoyed playgroups but I put that down to a hearing issue which his parents didnt think was there. Now he is in nursery school, they have pointed out to Mum that he doesnt like noisier areas within the nursery and always goes to a quieter area, they suggested he gets his hearing checked YAY anyway poor thing only has 40% hearing in both ears so loud ares would be scary not understainding the different noises.


not saying your mindee has the same but might be worth taking into consideration.

Sorry you didnt gain instant replies yesterday, as the forum is public on some boards it maybe search engines googlebots or passers by/non members who may have read as well as some members who may not have had a sollution for you. I was out all day enjoying the weather.

wendywu
27-04-2009, 10:01 AM
Yes the other children should not have to forgo outings because of one child.:(

Curly Quavers
27-04-2009, 10:28 AM
I agree with what some of you have already said. Invite someone over for coffee with kids for him to play with and see how he reacts. I would not like to be stuck in the house either and getting out to these groups is as much for you as it is for the kids.

Although in saying that if I was you I would keep going until the end of July it's not really that long and that way you are not going to perhaps give your self a bad name for letting the parent down so close to when they were due to end. I do agree that life is to short and if you were going to be having him for the next year or more then I would say give notice. But keep going and chin up. :)

Franny
x

uf353432
27-04-2009, 10:53 AM
Have you thought about getting to the group early? When he arrives it will be very quiet and then it will gradually get busier - but as it does he may aclimatise to it at a steady pace rather than being bombarded by all the noise and hustle and bustle?

Blackhorse
27-04-2009, 11:41 AM
Have you thought about getting to the group early? When he arrives it will be very quiet and then it will gradually get busier - but as it does he may aclimatise to it at a steady pace rather than being bombarded by all the noise and hustle and bustle?


that is very good advice I think.:thumbsup:

My dd loves going to playgroup so don't have the same problem but I have noticed that she is more active and happily running around if we come early with only a few people there. I think it gets her courage up to run around..then when other kids come she is very happy to play with them...more so than when we come a bit later

wendywu
27-04-2009, 11:57 AM
I always get to groups early anyway as i like to park in the car park and not at the side of the road. :)

Bananabrain
27-04-2009, 12:11 PM
actually i do agree -lol. He is leaving end of july as going to preschool, so a good thing really - i always get the wingy, clingy kids!! Why cant i get an easy one that wants to play with me!

:laughing: i don't necessarily want 'easy' children but would like some that actually play!

Don't think you should stay in for one child.All children have to get used to socialising,they don't have a great deal of choice!

jibberjitz
27-04-2009, 12:17 PM
Hope you have a better day with him today :thumbsup:

sammy
28-04-2009, 09:04 PM
yes i always go to the play and stay sessions early, im always the first there, i only checked this place out as i had only realised it had just opened and wanted a quick nose.

But normally as soon as we get out the car and its not my house then he will cry. But the thing is i dont want to then take him straight back to my house otherwise he will learn that by crying he gets his own way. Im not being harsh but when he doesnt get his own way he will make himself sick, he is a sicky child, its hard to explain but its like hes saying i want to be at your house and play with your toys. Which is fine, I dont mind staying in mon when i have him, tues i normally go to the park, wed i have him and want to go to the childminding group, then thurs i go to an under 3s club and fridays i do whatever with my own as its my day off.

I like to break my day up and get out and about, and by the sounds of it he needs to get involved with others to prepare him for preschool. So i shall see how it goes tommorow as i stayed in monday!