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jeanybeany
24-04-2009, 10:38 AM
Hi all

Hoping you can give me some advice. I am minding 2 children for a kind of friend at the moment. The eldest child is friends with my eldest child. The problem is that in school hols I think I will find it difficult especially during the 6 week hols as the youngest child has special needs and tends to run off when they go out. I don't think I want the responsibility of this so therefore we cannot go out for all the hols as with my own children and little mindees I think it is just too much. This is because say we went to the park how can you keep an eye on children aged 8 (runs off) and children aged 5,4 and 2 plus a baby for example. The other problem is the eldest is 10 like my eldest and even though I have permission I am not sure I am covered insurance wise if I let them play out unsupervised. I don't think it's fair to make my child stay in all hols and vice versa. I have explained this to the parents and said I don't mind having them for upto 2 days a week in the hols and explained the reasons. At contracts parents did say other relatives would help out, but now it seems this is not the case.

Also they mess me about, I never know when they are being collected (so can't even plan teas), ring me up all the time to the point I have stopped answering my telephone just let it go to answer phone now as I think if they were going to a nursery etc they wouldn't beable to ring at 8pm especially when they know I have young children. The children are lovely but quite hard work especially the older one rude etc, upsets younger mindees.

Hubby says to terminate but I don't know what to do! What would you ladies do feel a bit deflated as I said how I felt last night and explained that them all together in hols is very hard work and that sometimes their care overrides the little ones (put much nicer). Didn't care and basically tried to make me feel like how dare you do this, you should have them and be grateful for the work. Also this week they sent them to me only to find out they had been up all night with poorly tummies:angry: then had the nerve to question my sickness policy!


Advice welcome, sorry to waffle and moan...........................

littlestar
24-04-2009, 10:45 AM
oh poor you i dont think i can advise properly but didn't want to read and run good luck with this and let us no what happens big hugs to you :)

sarah707
24-04-2009, 10:53 AM
The Eyfs makes it clear that the care you give older children must not impact on the little ones.

You are saying that you sometimes spend more time on the older ones because they are demanding and rude and they say things that upset or affect the little ones...

Either they stop doing this or you will have to give notice. The little ones must come first - it's in the Eyfs therefore it's the law.

hth :D

jeanybeany
24-04-2009, 10:58 AM
The Eyfs makes it clear that the care you give older children must not impact on the little ones.

You are saying that you sometimes spend more time on the older ones because they are demanding and rude and they say things that upset or affect the little ones...

Either they stop doing this or you will have to give notice. The little ones must come first - it's in the Eyfs therefore it's the law.

hth :D

Hi Sarah

Thanks for your reply I am aware of this and have explained this to the parents, but they just don't seem to get what I am saying term time it's fine as they only come pm for an hour but hols it's all day. That is why I have said just two days so I can work it around little ones.

Do you think I am being unreasonable in suggesting this and have told them to think about it otherwise notice will be given. Perhaps I didn't word it right!

LOL

Hebs
24-04-2009, 11:03 AM
Sarah has just given you the perfect reason to terminate x

wendywu
24-04-2009, 11:35 AM
For peace of mind i would end the contract. :panic:

Andrea08
24-04-2009, 11:42 AM
Sarah has just given you the perfect reason to terminate x

i agree also listen to yourself,, you know in your heart you want to terminate but you are worried for the family,,, and worried about what others may think,,, get a coffee and start writing your notice of terminating contract, dont need to put too much into it but quote from the EYFS and if need be make a photo copy of that page ,,

good luck hun you know its the right thing to do xx

jeanybeany
24-04-2009, 12:12 PM
Thanks everyone, just needed some one to tell me I'm doing the right thing. It's stressing me out so much!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like a weights been lifted already just venting on here.:)

mushpea
24-04-2009, 12:39 PM
is there a holiday club near you if so you could suggest to the parents that they send their children there in the hols then to you term time, you could also offer to take to and pick up from the holiday club if needed.
I have an 8yrold who is being assessed specail needs wise at the moment who cant walk anywhere and has to hop,,skip jump and run off when we go out, he dosent realise he is running off becasue he is in a world of his own. I also care for a 10yrold, 6yrold, 3yrold, 2yrold and 1yrold, i put 1 child in the buggy, two are attatched to either me or the buggy and the older ones walk either beside me or infront of me, i do not allow them to walk behind me because i need eyes forward for my 8yrold, when we go to the parks i tell all the children how far they can go ie dont go out of the fenced off area, if they go further than they should then they miss 5mins playing time.
when we are walking i give them all points to run too ie the lamp post, somthimes the 8yrold remembers other times he dosent but all the other s know that he has a 'problem' and do what i tell them not what he does!
its not easy watching them all and sometimes a day out is very stressful but it does none of us anygood to be stuck at home all day and eyfs states that we must get the children out, plus its not just him i have to think about its everyone else too.
the children you have from the 4yorld upwards you should be able to explain a little to them as i have with mine about doing what you say not following the older one and where to keep to when out, the 2 yrold could were a wrist strap or be in a buggy with the baby.
good luck with whatever you decide.

The Juggler
25-04-2009, 09:16 AM
This is a hard one. Poor you. You could just say you have decided to not to work full-time in the holidays so you can spend more time with your children. And then refer her to the holiday club as someone suggested. This takes away from their behaviour a little. No matter what you are like as a person, it's hard not to receive this message as "your kids are not wanted" and that's hard to hear.

I went through this a few years ago with severe behaviour problems and eventually gave notice. I was professional and kind but mum still became abusive. Looking back I can see how she might have perceived all the conversations we had and how she might have felt hence her behaviour to me. However, that said you need to do what is right for you and the other children. You need to enjoy your job or you and the kids, including hers, won't benefit anyway.


Nx


ps I worked 5 days a week in the holidays for 3 years then decided part-time in the holidays was enough. I take my hat off to all you brave ladies who have done it for years!


Thanks everyone, just needed some one to tell me I'm doing the right thing. It's stressing me out so much!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like a weights been lifted already just venting on here.:)