View Full Version : Heart V Head UPDATE UPDATE

16-04-2009, 04:45 PM
Right what do I do.... what would YOU do?

First enquiry - the mum who needs treatment - twins, have applied for a variation. Rung Ofsted today to chase it up - they have told me it could be up to 2 weeks for a decision, explained its urgent as parents want kids to start next week - they can't guarantee that they will be able to make a decision by then - told me to ring back on Tuesday. they also questioned as to where the parent was in relation to my setting - had to be honest and say it was the neighbouring borough and that seemed to cause them to ummmm a bit - asking why they can't go to a childminder in that area - explained they had looked but could not find one with spaces.

2nd enquiry - mum really wants me (apparently she has rung round several other minders now and they have all referred her back to me and she has heard wonderful things about me plus she has "taken to me") - willing to sign contracts straight away and give me the advance fees etc.... She is coming round tomorrow to have a chat/interview etc.

If I don't make a choice by tomorrow then I am probably going to lose both.
My heart is saying first enquiry because the parents are desparate - kids are lovely, mum really wants me but I get the impression dad isn't overkeen and hummed and ha'ed about the money side (he is an accountant) and then he started questioning me about my out of date reg certificate - explained the date on it was when it was re-issued but he didn't seem to believe me - offered to show him on the Ofsted website but he declined, kids are lovely (lively as well), mum was very quick to point out something James was doing but turned a blind eye to something her son done.


my business head is saying go with the second - its less money but longer term (at least 18 months) - once I finish uni for the summer it will be M-F. I get on great with mum on the phone.

HELP please- I know what I should do but I need some assurance of what is the right way to go.
Would i be awful ifI let the first family down - given their circumstances? I had made no promises and they know its dependant on Offy giving the variation. I need the work and I know the 2nd enquiry wants and can start with me next week. Contracts can be signed tomorrow

16-04-2009, 04:50 PM
Think you know really whats best hun. I know it would feel like you are letting first parents down, but to be honest if dad is alreadu fussing then probably best to steer clear. Plus you may not get the variation. 2nd one seems to me to be the one to go with if she wants you after meeting up.
Great that she has heard good things about your service - how nice to be in demand.

Don't know if that has helped any but its what I think!


16-04-2009, 04:50 PM
P.S bet you were jumping about on your seat on Tuesday night weren't you!!!!!!!! :D :D :D


16-04-2009, 04:52 PM
if it were me ......

I would tell the first set that ofsted will not grant the variation so you are unable to offer 2 places then taken the second offer which sounds more stable and will avoid having a father looking at your every move.

but its up to you I always look for the easier option even if its less money.

16-04-2009, 04:56 PM
if it were me ......

I would tell the first set that ofsted will not grant the variation so you are unable to offer 2 places then taken the second offer which sounds more stable and will avoid having a father looking at your every move.

thats what i would do too :thumbsup:

16-04-2009, 05:08 PM
I am with the second one too. Too many ifs and buts re variation never mind the dad questioning things. I have never had anyone check dates etc re certificates - sounds like trouble to me.

16-04-2009, 05:33 PM
Agree with all the others go for the second family, have let my heart rule my head before and always had trouble. Sometimes ones who appear to be lovely take an inch you let them do so and they take a mile but the ones in my experience who I had doubts about in the beginning have always caused problems!

16-04-2009, 05:35 PM
I would most def go wtih the second family to be honest

Hope it works out whatever you decide to do

Good luck Pip

Angel xx

Heaven Scent
16-04-2009, 05:37 PM
Yes go with the second - I would.

16-04-2009, 05:40 PM
If you need to make a speedy decision then the only answer can be number 2. You cannot guarantee that you can have the twins yet and cannot therefore really turn number 2 down in case Ofsted get funny and say no.

It may be less money but like you said it is longer term and financial stability longer term has got real benefits.

If it were me I would have to take a deep breath and follow my head for the sake of my business.

Also like already pointed out, if Dad of children is being funny then take the warning! He may turn out great but it may be a warning that he will funny over holidays, bank holidays, sick days etc etc etc.

Good luck whichever you choose but what do they say? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush (quite literally here!!)

16-04-2009, 05:53 PM
i think id go for the second family too. if dad picked up on the date being wrong hes certainly not going to miss a thing-not that you have anything to hide lol but i would just not feel trusted iyswim... good luck with deciding (and breaking it to them ).

16-04-2009, 05:57 PM
I agree with Shelley as well... get the work, you don't know about the other one and if you are turned down by Ofsted you'll kick yourself.

good luck tomorrow! :D

16-04-2009, 06:09 PM
i am glad that you seem to be in demand but i would also go for the 2nd one
i had doubts over the parents before i signed the contracts just before xmas and they were the ones who drove me to distraction until it ened up with us hating each other and them leaving with no notice and now we do not talk, even if we're both standing at the school gates she completely ignores me

go for the 2nd one you know in your heart that it would be the right choice

goodluck though xx

16-04-2009, 06:17 PM
I'd go for the second family as well.:)

16-04-2009, 06:33 PM
I would go with the 2nd family.

You cannot guarantee to get the variation (and I would give this is as my reason to 1st family) and if Dad is nipicking about your business already, then he's only going to get worse I woudl imagine.

I would LOVE to have someone come tomorrow and sign contracts - and to be starting next week as well. I think you need to do that for the certainty of it, rather than the what ifs with the 1st one.

16-04-2009, 06:38 PM
I agree , if OFSTED dont give the go ahead you will lose on both counts:)

16-04-2009, 06:48 PM
If the first set of parents didnt have their 'circumstances' and were just a 'normal' family wanting childcare what would you do then, you must treat them equally and put your buisness head on as hard as that can be somtimes.
i too would go with the 2nd family, you may,as you said, end up lossing both if ofsted turn youdown and you turn the 2nd one away.
good luck with whatever you decide.

16-04-2009, 06:48 PM
i'm not THAT far from you, send the twins to me i'm desperate :laughing:

16-04-2009, 06:53 PM
I would also go for the second.... In this current climate I think we have to unfortunately do what is best for us and by the sound of things, the second family are the best option for you. If it is going to be a longer term contract then that would decide it for me.
I would tell the first family that the variation hasn't been allowed....

16-04-2009, 07:02 PM
I would also go with 2nd ones your head is usually right

16-04-2009, 07:07 PM
I think you know what to do, dont feel bad about the first family, you've done your best and dont want to risk losing both x

16-04-2009, 07:07 PM
I would go for the second. If Ofsted don't grant the variation you would be left with no contracts at all.

16-04-2009, 08:08 PM
go for the second family!

i agree, tell the first family that ofsted have said no! (then it isn't you as such letting them down.)


16-04-2009, 08:13 PM
thanks everyone - you are right, I was veering towards the second family and if it wasn't for their circumstances then I would have had no hesitation in going for the second family. I just feel a bit of a moo for letting them down but at the end of the day I need the work.

just needed my buds to valid my thoughts.
will do the deed tomorrow I think

16-04-2009, 09:24 PM
Good luck for tomorrow Pip :) :) :)


16-04-2009, 10:08 PM
I would go with the second one as well, always trust your gut instinct it is rarely wrong.

16-04-2009, 10:10 PM
Yeah def go for the second one. Good luck tomorrow.:thumbsup:

16-04-2009, 10:16 PM
wow we all agree hehehe good luck hun xxx

17-04-2009, 06:09 AM
Good luck for today with the familys, let us know how you get on.

17-04-2009, 06:47 AM
Good Luck today Pip xxx

17-04-2009, 07:45 AM
I am sat here in shock - Ofsted have just rung - they have granted the variation and the new certificate is going out in the post today:eek: .

So i can now take on the twins - which now leaves me the decision of whether to go with the twins (short term but more money) or the other lady who is coming round today (which was where my head was at - long term, less money 1 child).

Arrrrgggghhhhh what do I do....... will still interview the other lady who is due round about 12.30 today...... arrrrrgggghhhhh - see no enquiries or mindees for ages and then 2 lots at once.....

17-04-2009, 07:52 AM
I would also go with the second family ... you may not be able to take the twins anayway , and if that is the case you will aslo lose the 2nd family too.

Go with the sendond family hun, there is always the opportunity for another child to come along !

Good Luck whatever you decide to do :)

17-04-2009, 07:54 AM
Oooh see ... i didnt read that reply lol .....

.....I would now also be in a state of which ones but .... I think you will now know in your heart which family to choose, now you know you have either as an option :)

17-04-2009, 08:01 AM
I have to agree with the others and go with the 2nd :thumbsup:

Heaven Scent
17-04-2009, 12:53 PM
Wait until you have seen second mum - and you know for sure that she will sign up - then decided - she may not sign and then you will be without anyone. - don't rush into anything - I've had 2 lots round recently who didn't actually sign - I knew second mum wouldn't sign it was dad who was keen and who came around but it was down to money and in my opinion the figures just didn't add up - what mum would be earning -v- what they would have to pay me and it would be long hours before and after school/playgroup for 2 children - I think they wanted a 7.00 finish and a 7.00 start.

17-04-2009, 01:30 PM

Well problem solved - first family phoned me this morning and told me that they didn't want me after all - had reservations about me being able to collect children on time etc etc.
I must admit that I felt a huge relief.:blush: :blush:

Anyway second mum came and we got on like a house on fire, the little girl (who is 3 and HUGE - towers over James and E) was a bit shy at first and then soon got into all of it - even had lunch with the boys!
Mum has signed up there and then - we start some settling in sessions Monday thru to Wednesday, first full day Thursday.
Mum said she was glad she had gone to see other minders because she knows she has made the right decision with me as I 'outshine the others'.:blush: :blush: that nearly made me cry!!! lol

so thank you once again ladies for your invaluable support and advice. Not sure I like being in demand though:laughing: :o
What do I do about the variation thingy though that Ofsted have said I can have and are currently sending through a new certificate - do I have to tell them that the contract is not going through now.

17-04-2009, 01:33 PM
I don't have a clue about the variation issue but just wanted to say FANTASTIC that its all sorted out for you. Well done!!!! You are obviously doing everything right and how nice to be told you are streets ahead of the others :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:


17-04-2009, 01:34 PM
Well done you hun, you deserve some luck, :thumbsup:

Btw, lovin your avater :clapping:

17-04-2009, 01:37 PM
no clue about what you now do about the variation isnt each case assessed on its own so would prob be in invalid.. just wanted to say glad its worked out ok and it sounds like you are going to get on well with the little girl :clapping: good luck with the settling in sessions .

Lick'le Oakes
17-04-2009, 01:42 PM
Oh i love a happy ending!:D

17-04-2009, 01:44 PM
Well done you hun, you deserve some luck, :thumbsup:

Btw, lovin your avater :clapping:

:thumbsup: Loving yours too!!!! lol (not that we are rubbing it in to the Liverpool fans though are we:D )

thanks guys:thumbsup: :jump for joy:

17-04-2009, 03:52 PM
I don't think you need to do much about the variation at the moment. Its only and addition to the licence which states what your maximum workload can be. You could always write to them in a bit letting them know it didn't happen.

17-04-2009, 03:58 PM
:thumbsup: Loving yours too!!!! lol (not that we are rubbing it in to the Liverpool fans though are we:D )

thanks guys:thumbsup: :jump for joy:

Hurumph! I will go away again!

:D Pleased for you mate!

17-04-2009, 03:59 PM
oh so glad this has worked out for you Pip :clapping: :clapping:

Hope all goes well :thumbsup:

17-04-2009, 04:06 PM
thats good! so glad it all worked out well for you.


17-04-2009, 05:53 PM
That's brilliant news Pip :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Lady Haha
17-04-2009, 06:08 PM
but doesn't it just go to show that you should always listen to your head!!!!

17-04-2009, 06:10 PM
you outshone them because you are brilliant Pip dont let anyone tell you any different babe , am soooo pleased for you and hope its the start for things turning round :D :D :D :D :D

17-04-2009, 06:12 PM
great glad it all worked out .. what a whirlwind though!

17-04-2009, 06:26 PM
Oh i love a happy ending!:D

Me too!!! It was obviously meant to be! Well done :clapping:

17-04-2009, 06:33 PM
so glad it has worked out for you :thumbsup:

17-04-2009, 10:06 PM
:clapping: Glad its all worked out for you.:thumbsup:

Heaven Scent
18-04-2009, 03:02 PM
Wow - that's brilliant congratulations. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

18-04-2009, 04:38 PM
Glad its all sorted out:)