Mum makes me feel uneasy

[sarah32]

Its really hard to explain and im not sure if its in my head but you know when you get a feeling that something isnt right.:(

I have had 3 mindee's today plus my own two which are the hardest to keep happy so its been a bit stressful but not too bad.

3 year old mindee wants to join in and play with my daughters which they dont always want her to (I cant make them)and she cant always keep up with their role play games they play as they are 6 and 8. Shes done this before and then gone home and told her mum that my daughter wouldnt play with her and then Im asked why, told her its not always possible, my children are older and play different games and im not going to force them to play with her all the time.

Today she kept screaming and shouting and I had to keep telling her that baby was in bed and not to scream, she gave me the most awful look but I was also telling my two and other mindee to be quiet.

Just before mum turns up she wasnt getting her own way so was smashing a toy car on the floor so I asked her not to, thats not the way to behave when she didnt get what she wanted, just them mum turns up to collect them and she goes straight to mum giving me again deadly looks. Told mum the basic story and she left saying ok but in a quiet tone, as soon as she got outside with her I heard my mindee started screaming and crying putting her in the car.

I know mum is not happy with disciplining her children because when they first came to me they had never been told no. All of them get put on time out when they mis-behave. Shes not treated any different to any of my other mindee's.

I know feel like Ive done something wrong and dread to think what tales shes telling her when she got home. Mindee probably hates me and I dont like the thought of that.

Wasnt looking for advice just wanted to get it out:(

[melanieabigail2004]

Your house your rules. If mum wants to bring up a child who get her own way over everything that's up to her (good luck for the future is all I can say :) ).

You have nothing to feel wrong about. I would have done the same.


Mel :) :)

[peggy]

Its really hard to explain and im not sure if its in my head but you know when you get a feeling that something isnt right.:(

I have had 3 mindee's today plus my own two which are the hardest to keep happy so its been a bit stressful but not too bad.

3 year old mindee wants to join in and play with my daughters which they dont always want her to (I cant make them)and she cant always keep up with their role play games they play as they are 6 and 8. Shes done this before and then gone home and told her mum that my daughter wouldnt play with her and then Im asked why, told her its not always possible, my children are older and play different games and im not going to force them to play with her all the time.

Today she kept screaming and shouting and I had to keep telling her that baby was in bed and not to scream, she gave me the most awful look but I was also telling my two and other mindee to be quiet.

Just before mum turns up she wasnt getting her own way so was smashing a toy car on the floor so I asked her not to, thats not the way to behave when she didnt get what she wanted, just them mum turns up to collect them and she goes straight to mum giving me again deadly looks. Told mum the basic story and she left saying ok but in a quiet tone, as soon as she got outside with her I heard my mindee started screaming and crying putting her in the car.

I know mum is not happy with disciplining her children because when they first came to me they had never been told no. All of them get put on time out when they mis-behave. Shes not treated any different to any of my other mindee's.

I know feel like Ive done something wrong and dread to think what tales shes telling her when she got home. Mindee probably hates me and I dont like the thought of that.

Wasnt looking for advice just wanted to get it out:(

Hi hun,

I had the same thing with the little boy I used to mind, used to create such a fuss when he couldnt get his own way and too used to leave the house kicking and screaming, discipline was something that the parents did not find easy. I used to put it in the diary if there was a particular issue so at least the parents could read what had happened when they got home.

I too used to think that i was handling the child wrong and that he hated me too! BUT the truth is we havent done anything wrong at all,its your house, your rules and it sounds as though she is having a strop because she cant get her own way.

Your children are entitled to play their own games and as you say they are much older so the games being played by them is hard for a three year old to keep up and often results in a frustrated three year old, so if mum says anything then I would explain this is the case.

Its hard being a childminder and keeping everyone happy...we can only do our best!!!

[sarah32]

I do write everything in a diary for mum to read as the story changes when she tells her mum what happended.

Last time she told her mum I shouted at her and I hadnt, I explained I may of raised my voice to get the childrens attention when its really noisy.

I still feel like shes not happy and im going to have to say something in the morning, is there anything she wants to talk about.:(

[ladylipgloss]

I do sympathise with you on this one. One of my mindees is quite unruly and i find i am often having to be firm with him about things. He also wants to go and play upstairs and see what my older children are doing (they are much older). My own kids want their privacy and i don't blame them. I have to tell him that upstairs is off limits and that him and the other mindees have everything they need downstairs. I'm sure he tells his mum that i'm a dragon and always telling him off but at the end of they day, my other mindees are polite and abide by the house rules so why shouldn't he. As far as i'm concerned, if mum chooses to take him elsewhere because i won't bend the rules for him then thats fine by me. She comlplained that i made him have time out for jumping all over my sofa with juice in his hands and food in his mouth. It's not just my place of work, its my home and they need to respect that i'm the one in charge, not him!

[RedDragon]

On my daily diary sheet it say what mood they are in: Usually it's happy and content, a bit sleepy near the end of day etc

To cover yourself I would add things like:

Had to have time out time 2pm and 4pm because..........
Fred shouted inappropriately so at 4:15pm I spoke in a loud voice saying "Blah, blah blah".


Try not to worry - I'm sure the parent knows you are doing your best (and the best for her child).xx

[childmind04]

I too have had parents in the past who have made me uncomfortable, my way now is to ask them for 5 minutes and get to them first to explain what you are having to do etc because of their little darlings behaviour :)

Its harder for them then to tale tell to mum if you have already got their first :)

Susan