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lilsteff
30-03-2009, 09:53 AM
ok i have seriously had enough!!!

last week a 12 yr old child kicked my cat (she admited she did it, becsaue apparently my cat was attacking her feet which is rubbish as he would attack unless provoked!!) SO this happened on wednesday last week and all day thursday my cat charlie lay down all day and a few parents commented on how it was not like him not to say hello as he is a very people person cat.

anyway that thursday the child who kicked him was not in and i didnt think there was anything wrong with him until he moved off his bed wen my partner came in at 7pm and charlie was limping alot, which raised my concersn on friday morning wen the children came in i asked them if they had hurt charlie, she the older child said that he did it cos he was going to attack her, so i had 2 ring round the vets in the area and try 2 get him booked in, thankfully i managed it at framwellgate moor- anyway when the childs mother came to pick her up on the night time and i explained what had happened her mother started using rather abusive language to me wgilst another parent was leaving (the other parent came back in as she was concerned about the things that had been said) she humilated me called me a bad person a useless childminder and a greedy person. she was shouting at me and as she left my property she was shouting in turkish at her daughter refering to me. later that eveing oin the way to the vets her mother rang me demanding a meeting on monday afternoon i said that it would be fine but i wanted representation with me (she didnt want this and hung up the fone after telling me i was ignorant) :censored:

just as we arrived at the vets she rang again and said that i had put words into her daughters mouth!! i would never do this at all, she is 12 and can speak for herself! she was shouting so loud on the fone my partner could hear every word she was saying to me.

she then went on to tell me i mess her about constntly! i would love to know when as i bend over backwards fpr her and her child!!!!! some examples odf this are :
* i had kidney stones- was in agony i still looked after her as she couldnt find anyone else.

* i spent a fortune on taxis to get her to and from school when she went to primary schoola s she was instant on her coming to me and the school wasnt local to me.

* i looked after her child whilst she was in hospital for 3 days, i wshed her clothes, gave her dinner money and gave her a place to stay whilst her mother was in hospiutal.

* i worked weekends which made me ill

* when i first started childminding i never took any holidays the only day ofgf i i was for my bday and xmas day.

*her daughter sprained her ankle and she shouted at me rather abusively when i refused to not have her incase it made it worse.

*at comic relief this year her daughter went into school with no uniform on when she was nt ment to and got sent home, i helped her daugther get into the her house to get her uniform so she could go back to school (again no thank you or anything)

* i have had to cancel physiotherpy sessions and hospital appointments cos she cant get anyone 2 luk after her daughter.

i have bent over backwards and i have never had a word of thank you or kindness from her mother after all i have done for her!

i wont stand for her abuse any more! she told me on friday that my job is easy and that irts nt hard work, :angry:

sorry i just needed to get thjis off my chest :panic:

hope everyone hadd a nice weekend becasue i didnt :mad: was too worked uop cos of her and her mother.

OH and charlie will be fine he has some vey bad bruising on his leg:thumbsup:

miffy
30-03-2009, 09:59 AM
Oh gosh - poor you and poor Charlie.

I'm sorry but I would terminate the contract - you shouldn't have to suffer this kind of abuse.

I wouldn't have the child or her mother back in my house.

I'd also notify Ofsted in case she makes a malicious complaint.

Sending hugs

Miffy xx

huggableshelly
30-03-2009, 10:05 AM
you have put up with the child and parent for far too long now, i would terminae the contract immediately no notice and personally I would also give her the vets bill along with the final invoice if there is anything outstanding. She probably wont pay but you are not her slave and the cat is not the childs punch bag. ENOUGH now before a child gets treated the same way as the cat.

I hope you have a better day today, dont put yourself through anymore of their punishment

hugs from me xxx

LittleMissSparkles
30-03-2009, 10:18 AM
I would have given her termination with immediate effect if she had spoke to me in that way in my own home who the hell does she think she is....

I hope your ok if you can afford to I personally would giver notice, I have recently done this last week for the same reasons but thank fully not to the extent your parent went to with you xxx

Pipsqueak
30-03-2009, 10:21 AM
How awful for you. I would be terminating the contract with immediate effect. You have witnesses as to the parent being abusive to you - in your own home, in front of children and other adults. That is disgusting behaviour.
And to top it all of - she has deliberately hurt the cat - twice.
I perhaps may add in that you are considering informing the RSPCA of the cruelty to your animal and letting them deal with it

amirose
30-03-2009, 10:29 AM
She hasn't just "kicked" the cat she has done it with some force. I have been known to use a foot to boot a dog out the kitchen or to scare them off when they have been misbehaving but we are talking a foot flicked in their direction accompanied by a loud "get out of it" rarely even making contact but having desired effect of dog doing bum tucks to avoid me and bolting out the room and never resulting in injury :panic:

The mum is an idiot and its no wonder her child is the ways she is for christs sake put yourself out the misery and terminate with immediate effect

Hugs

Rach30
30-03-2009, 10:35 AM
OMG what a horrible family ! I would definately terminate contract with imediate effect and no notice served . Maybe contact NCMA to make sure you dont get nay come back from the family. I know you'd loose money but its so not worth the stress. Hopefully you will be able to find another nice family. Wishing you a sress free week (do they exist ??:laughing: ) x

Ripeberry
30-03-2009, 10:36 AM
Terminate contract, she knows why. It is the best and only thing to do.
If she gives you grief get the police on her. She is seriously deranged and also tell Ofsted of what has happened and maybe even get the other parent to back you up in writting.
Glad your Charlie is OK and thanks for letting us now :)

helenlc
30-03-2009, 10:36 AM
I would imagine the child's behaviour could only go from bad to worse with that kind of mother showing her how to behave!!!

Ripeberry
30-03-2009, 10:42 AM
Ok, this might be a bit contovertial, but i do think that mother thinks because you are a childminder that equates to "slave". A few years ago i stayed in the home of a Turkish friend in Fetiyeh for a week and they had a nanny and the way they treated her was disgusting and they said it was because she only looked after the children and did some cleaning so was not a "worthy person" i was so :angry: :censored: at that.
Felt really uncomfortable after that and also Turks do not like cats, they treat them as vermin...i think that's why she was so offhand about Charlie.
Its really difficult dealing with other cultures as we have to bend backwards for them but they don't or wont understand ours :(

rickysmiths
30-03-2009, 10:52 AM
Please, Please be very careful about terminating the contract without notice.

It is very hard and I feel for your cat. If you do terminate without notice then you will be liable to pay any additional childcare costs the mother incures as a result, you would also have to compensate her if she looses any pay through missing work as a result of you terminating the contract.

The only time you can terminate immediately is if the child or parents actions puts you, your minded children or your own children were in immediate danger. You could still be asked to pay costs.

I think it is grossly unfair but that is the way it is. Look at note 25 on the back of the NCMA contracts if you use them also ring the legal helpline for advise. If you are with MM I am not familiar with their contract but I advise you phone their helpline.

I would give your notice in writing tonight, so at least the process of getting rid is started properly.( if things are resolved you can also withdraw the notice at any time and continue with the contract). The other thing you can do is to agree with the mother that you both agree to terminate the contract with immediate effect. You need to write this out setting out the reasons why the contract is being terminated and both of you sign and date it, I would also have a witness pref on both sides to sign it.

If you have a meeting with her you have every right to have someone with you it is not the choice of the mother and don't pander to her, invite her to bring someone with her as well.

Good luck it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Hope the cat recovers soon.

LittleMissSparkles
30-03-2009, 11:09 AM
I have it in my policys that I will terminate with immediate effect and list the conditions I would do this still requiring 4 weeks notice period paying though and all my parents sign to say they understand this, I may be self employed and I may be governed by Ofsted etc and have to follow rules but I will not be treated like scum in my own home by any parent or child. If they do not understand this and agree to this I dont take them on

xxx

mandy moo
30-03-2009, 11:19 AM
Please, Please be very careful about terminating the contract without notice.

It is very hard and I feel for your cat. If you do terminate without notice then you will be liable to pay any additional childcare costs the mother incures as a result, you would also have to compensate her if she looses any pay through missing work as a result of you terminating the contract.
The only time you can terminate immediately is if the child or parents actions puts you, your minded children or your own children were in immediate danger. You could still be asked to pay costs. I think it is grossly unfair but that is the way it is. Look at note 25 on the back of the NCMA contracts if you use them also ring the legal helpline for advise. If you are with MM I am not familiar with their contract but I advise you phone their helpline.

I would give your notice in writing tonight, so at least the process of getting rid is started properly.( if things are resolved you can also withdraw the notice at any time and continue with the contract). The other thing you can do is to agree with the mother that you both agree to terminate the contract with immediate effect. You need to write this out setting out the reasons why the contract is being terminated and both of you sign and date it, I would also have a witness pref on both sides to sign it.

If you have a meeting with her you have every right to have someone with you it is not the choice of the mother and don't pander to her, invite her to bring someone with her as well.

Good luck it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Hope the cat recovers soon.

Red:I too was given this advice by the Ncma Legal Line when when I hurt my leg (on another thread)

Blue: They advised me to give notice, but that it was to come into place when I start back to work so far I have not sent it yet, simply coz I have no idea when I'll be able to walk let alone work.

Red: good idea.

Hugs to you and Charlie

katickles
30-03-2009, 11:44 AM
:eek: No way would I be treated like this!!

Are you going to continue minding this child?

http://newtickers.bump-and-beyond.com/29/2936/293625.png (http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/)

emler
30-03-2009, 12:12 PM
What a nightmare situation. I would not want to work with the family either after being spoken to like that. Glad to hear your cat is ok.

melanieabigail2004
30-03-2009, 12:17 PM
Serve notice on the grounds that you will not be spoken to like this in your own home. If they choose to send the child then remain polite and professional but do not let that women through your door.

I suspect if you serve notice they won't return - make sure you inform Ofsted to but cover in case she makes an unfounded complaint.

Hope the cat is OK :(

Mel

JOANNE
30-03-2009, 12:53 PM
I would certainly give her notice, she sounds like a right rude so-and-so.
Get rid, you don`t need people like that,how dare she say things to you when you have obviously helped her out so much.
Some people are just NEVER happy. :angry:

lilsteff
30-03-2009, 01:05 PM
thanks for ur support :D

any ideas of a letter that i could do for her? im nt very good with letters at all:idea:

angeldelight
30-03-2009, 01:59 PM
I would have given her termination with immediate effect if she had spoke to me in that way in my own home who the hell does she think she is....

I hope your ok if you can afford to I personally would giver notice, I have recently done this last week for the same reasons but thank fully not to the extent your parent went to with you xxx

I agree

How awful for you

I think you are being taken advantage of also

Glad your cat is ok

Have you decided what you are going to do about this ?

Angel xx

lilsteff
30-03-2009, 02:18 PM
i will be terminating the contract i need to write a letter but im useless at writing letters any help or suggestions

rickysmiths
30-03-2009, 02:36 PM
thanks for ur support :D

any ideas of a letter that i could do for her? im nt very good with letters at all:idea:



I would keep it very simple and to the point. Some thing along the lines:


It is with regret that I write to you, concerning the kind of behaviour demonstrated by your daughter on.... at..... She hurt the cat quite badly and she/he required the attention of the vet which cost us £.......

The the incident was deliberate, not an accident and demonstrated behaviour that I can not tolerate in my setting. I also feel that i do not have your support in addressing this behaviour. This makes it very difficult for me to contiue the care of your daughter.

I have a Duty of Care to all the children in my care, my own children? and myself.

I therefore regret to inform you that I am giving you .... weeks notice in line with the terms of the contract we signed on....... This will mean that xxxxx fees will be due by the end of the contract.

melanieabigail2004
30-03-2009, 02:59 PM
Dear ***

After last week's incident I do not feel that I am able to offer care for your daughter moving forward. Please take this letter as notice of termination of our contract as from ***. The last day of minding will be *** and the agreed contracted fees of *** will still be due on ****.

Please remember that it is your responsibility to inform tax credits that our contract is ending - you can contact them on 0845 300 3900.

Yours sincerely

wendywu
30-03-2009, 03:40 PM
If you feel threatened in your own home by her abuse again. Logg it in with the police. This means you already have it in place if she complains to Ofsted and i think then you could terminate without notice.

You have the right to be treated with respect do NOT put up with it one instance longer.:angry:

hectors house
31-03-2009, 05:19 PM
As others have said - ring the NCMA they have helped me with wording of letters in the past - had a mother who was very aggressive in the way she spoke to me in front of my daughter before Xmas - rang NCMA who logged my enquiry (for evidence) and I wrote it up in the back of my NCMA accident/incident book and my Ofsted inspector yesterday said that was fine.

Good luck and glad to hear Charlie will be OK

sue
31-03-2009, 07:17 PM
all l wan't to do is give you and your cat a big HUG hopefully your nightmare with this family to be sorted very soon :panic: can't believe an 12 yr old girl could be so cruel :angry: :angry: :angry:

lilsteff
14-04-2009, 02:25 PM
just thought i would let u no i booted her and her mother put in a complaint to ofsted saying i was being unreasonalble they came out and agreed with everything hahaha

huggableshelly
14-04-2009, 02:32 PM
I was wondering how things were going.

Well done for standing your ground and glad Ofsted have taken your side.

Daftbat
14-04-2009, 02:37 PM
Ok, this might be a bit contovertial, but i do think that mother thinks because you are a childminder that equates to "slave". A few years ago i stayed in the home of a Turkish friend in Fetiyeh for a week and they had a nanny and the way they treated her was disgusting and they said it was because she only looked after the children and did some cleaning so was not a "worthy person" i was so :angry: :censored: at that.
Felt really uncomfortable after that and also Turks do not like cats, they treat them as vermin...i think that's why she was so offhand about Charlie.
Its really difficult dealing with other cultures as we have to bend backwards for them but they don't or wont understand ours :(

Whether this is correct or not, no-one has the right to undermine a childminder in her own home the way that this lady has been. Different cultures do have different ideas but there comes a point where it is not acceptable in any way shape or form. Sorry Ripeberry, i know you are just giving background info and not sticking up for this woman.