Visiting mother inlaw!

[Sarah555]

Hi everyone I'm not sure where to post this question!
but here goes.....
my mother in law (who i try and tolerate! :littleangel: ) likes to tell me when she is going to have my 2 children, she likes to look after them at her house for a day, so every few weeks or so she says that she can have the kids this week and arranges what day! this i try and put up with by telling her i will let her know and either letting her have them whatever day she has arranged if I'm not busy or if busy ask her if its ok to do another day.
Anyway my son is starting pre school soon in the afternoons 4 days a week and she was not happy with this as this would mean she cant have him for the whole day or even part day as she doesn't drive. she then continued to say that she would have to get the bus or train over in the mornings, this I'm annoyed with as instead of asking me if this would be ok she told me that she would do that, Right to my question!!!
I am just starting to register as a child minder and am hoping to be completely registered Aug time, now i know this is a long way off but i wanted to know how it works with regular visitors when you are child minding? I have a daily routine already ruffly drawn up and I'm thinking of doing an outside/outing activity in the morning then back for lunch then preschool run, I'm not sure i will have time to entertain and have regular visitors and also if i want to as i will be busy playing/looking after my children and mindee, so how can i word this to my mother in law, i think its better to let her know straight away that her coming over in the mornings would not work, me and my husband have already told her that there is still weekends and evenings to see us and the grandchildren but she said there's not enough time in the evenings and basically told us in her controlling and matter of fact way that she will come over in the mornings, does anyone else have this same issue as i think I'm going to mad soon!!!! :angry:

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Hi everyone I'm not sure where to post this question!
but here goes.....
my mother in law (who i try and tolerate! :littleangel: ) likes to tell me when she is going to have my 2 children, she likes to look after them at her house for a day, so every few weeks or so she says that she can have the kids this week and arranges what day! this i try and put up with by telling her i will let her know and either letting her have them whatever day she has arranged if I'm not busy or if busy ask her if its ok to do another day.
Anyway my son is starting pre school soon in the afternoons 4 days a week and she was not happy with this as this would mean she cant have him for the whole day or even part day as she doesn't drive. she then continued to say that she would have to get the bus or train over in the mornings, this I'm annoyed with as instead of asking me if this would be ok she told me that she would do that, Right to my question!!!
I am just starting to register as a child minder and am hoping to be completely registered Aug time, now i know this is a long way off but i wanted to know how it works with regular visitors when you are child minding? I have a daily routine already ruffly drawn up and I'm thinking of doing an outside/outing activity in the morning then back for lunch then preschool run, I'm not sure i will have time to entertain and have regular visitors and also if i want to as i will be busy playing/looking after my children and mindee, so how can i word this to my mother in law, i think its better to let her know straight away that her coming over in the mornings would not work, me and my husband have already told her that there is still weekends and evenings to see us and the grandchildren but she said there's not enough time in the evenings and basically told us in her controlling and matter of fact way that she will come over in the mornings, does anyone else have this same issue as i think I'm going to mad soon!!!! :angry:

I kept my ds off of nursery for one day and my MIL had him as she always has. Their bond is so strong and she loves it.

If she decides to come over once you are working then be out!

[CCJD]

My mother in law isnt my biggest fan either (and vice versa) so from that perspective I would say, when you are childmding you definitly cant have visitors - it's completely against all the rules :laughing:

On a more serious note though - I generally dont encourage visitors during my working hours unless they are a playdate and bring children with them. Visitors without children simply wont get my attention and I then end up feeling rude and unhospitable - which I dont like feeling. I make it quite clear to family and especially my own mother that during the day, I am working. Just like my sister, who works in an office and cannot sit on the phone to her for any length of time, I too am working and being paid to see to my mindees not her.

Especially when you first start minding, it can be quite stressfull adapting to a higher number of children - the last thing you need on top of that is your mother in law "looking" at what you are doing.

If you want to keep sane - stick to your guns, evenings and weekends are for grandparents.

Good luck - you sound like you have a right one!!

[FizzysFriends]

Blame it on Ofsted, tell you can't have visitors whilst other children are there (not that I have done this :blush: )

[huggableshelly]

Blame it on Ofsted, tell you can't have visitors whilst other children are there (not that I have done this :blush: )

LOL I did that to my mother in law too ... she is coming to stay for a few days at easter I'll have 7 LMAO cant see her sticking around for more than one day!

[RedDragon]

You may dislike me for saying this but I would love it if my MIL or mum came to take my son out for the day.

I do not get on with my MIL at all and mine has made things complicated for herself by excluding herself from our family through her own fault.

I have never said she couldn't ever visit (this would mean overnight stay) but she chooses not to. She has a large house but chooses not to invite us etc etc.

I would say use your MIL (in the nicest possible way of course).
I think SOME parents once they reach a certain age become a little self centred - thinking life revolves around them. But if she is prepared to get a train or bus then she obviously loves you DS and I would try to encourage this for all the enjoyment it will give him.

If you feel she will encroach on your work then maybe have him ready to go and explain that this is what is going to happen because of all of the "rules of OFSTED".

Things rarely run smoothly when there are 2 hens in the coop lol but I think your husband would think highly of you if you bend a little (ooh matron).

You honestly couldn't get a more annoying MIL than mine but I accept that she loves the children and I drop everything when she wants to see them (few and far between) because I know the children love her and if I put my foot down and said what I really want to say then the relationship would be gone between them and that to me would be sad.

Sorry, just read post again and realised it's 2 children you have - 1 of which is at Pre School. Again, I would allow Grandma to look after both all day and let child miss Pre School unless it was a concert.

Can you tell I miss my darling nana from my post :(

[mushpea]

this is why we no longer speak to my mother in law, it was father in law that was the pain really, when we did see them they went against everything i said to the kids and never respected what i wanted for them, they would also fill them full of cr**p each time we went round there. father in laws idea of visiting was "i will turn up when i feel like it" i told him that it would be best to ring first as we could be busy or about to go out but no he didn't like this as he didnt want to 'make an appointment' to see his grandkids so now they don't visit at all and i refuse to go around there because of their attitude and disrespect.
on the other hand my parents are great and will take my two away for the weekends somtimes which is bliss.