Tantrums and how do you deal with them!

[Nicky]

I have a mindee, two next month who has started having the most horrendous tantrums, how does everyone deal with mindees who have tantrums?

I have had 3 children of my own and other mindees, none of whom have every screamed and shouted like this one! He will scream and throw himself around and it will last for quite some time!

Any ideas on how to deal with this please??

Nicky

[Princess Sara]

Ask parents how they deal with it. You need to both be doing the same things.

Wil my ds1 I use to try and igore it until he was in a position to hurt himself/someone else, then it was off to the bottom of the stairs for a time out. He still uses the step now when he's naughty, but it's few and far between. also only lasts for a second if you warn him where he'll be sitting if he carries on.

[huggableshelly]

my son was aful, i had to walk away and get on with other stuff ignoring him until he finally realised noone was giving him attention but kept him in sight too without directly looking at him. i have a mirror in the archway of my L shaped lounge so i could be in the other part of the lounge where he cant see me but I could see him through the mirror.


if all else fails put him in the closet under the stairs!

[bubbles]

I mind a 2 year old who has awful tantrums. I try to ignore them unless she is in a position to hurt herself or someone else. This can be hard though as she tries to hit and scratch if i'm ignoring her! It can look awful if she throws a wobbly in the middle of the road and i have to pick her up. Childminder carrying a screaming, kicking child is not a good look!! I tend to sit her on the couch with her teddy at home until she calms down as this is what her mum does. Thankfully, me and mum being consistent and working together has meant that we are not getting as many tantrums. ( none this week yet!!) I tend to know what will make her go into a tantrum now so can defuse the situation before it gets too bad but that has only come after a couple of months of dealing with them.

[huggableshelly]

if all else fails then use the under the stairs closet!

[sue]

Ask parents how they deal with it. You need to both be doing the same things.

Wil my ds1 I use to try and igore it until he was in a position to hurt himself/someone else, then it was off to the bottom of the stairs for a time out. He still uses the step now when he's naughty, but it's few and far between. also only lasts for a second if you warn him where he'll be sitting if he carries on.



l was pulled up for having a naughty step (works for all my kids including my own) by Ofsted!!!!!!!!!!!:panic: use to step over my younger duaghter am carry on with what l was doing, hers lasted an hour plus and when l went to talk to her she would start again so ended up waiting until she came to me!!!!!! thought she would never stop but after about 8 months they got better GOOD LUCK:rolleyes:

[Pedagog]

l was pulled up for having a naughty step (works for all my kids including my own) by Ofsted!!!!!!!!!!!:panic: use to step over my younger duaghter am carry on with what l was doing, hers lasted an hour plus and when l went to talk to her she would start again so ended up waiting until she came to me!!!!!! thought she would never stop but after about 8 months they got better GOOD LUCK:rolleyes:


Ah, but you see its not a naughty step its time out, a time for them to cool down and consider their misdemeanor.

Word of warning though don't ever use time out with autistic children as they use it as a treat, my youngest loves being sat on the stairs

[Andrea08]

l was pulled up for having a naughty step (works for all my kids including my own) by Ofsted!!!!!!!!!!!:panic: use to step over my younger duaghter am carry on with what l was doing, hers lasted an hour plus and when l went to talk to her she would start again so ended up waiting until she came to me!!!!!! thought she would never stop but after about 8 months they got better GOOD LUCK:rolleyes:


i had a probem with ofsted over behaviour management,,,in the end i would not let the inspector go or get away with what she was saying to me,,its a partnership between you and the parentnot what ofsted say ,,,as long as you dont break the law,,,
but what ofsted now want to see is behavioural management for children with behavioural difficulties between you and parents in writing, time out is needed esp if a child could cause harm to themselves, you or another child in my case my pets (kicking and pulling with anger )

i will not tolorate a child who uses force to get their own way it is not acceptable in our adult world and it is not acceptable in the world of the 2yr old kick me and your on the step and no treats,,,, and stick to the punishment one child was kicked and i will not stand by to this behaviour no matter the age of the child.

[Nicky]

Parents are not 100% supportive really, they tend to pamper to his tantrums which to be honest are making them worse!
Had a long talk with mum yesterday and I have said that he is not safe to be left throwing himself on the floor and hitting his head! I have suggested that when the tantrum starts that I pick him up, place him in the pushchair (strapped in of course) and let him calm down. Once calm get him out and praise and cuddle. Sitting on a step or anywhere else would not work, he runs off (tried this). Mum agreed to the pushchair and has said if I find it begins to work she might try it........I suggested she went along the same line immediately and then he realised there is consistency.
Will keep you posted on what happens.....fingers crossed for a more peaceful day today!!

[patconn2]

I have always spoken to parents and agreed actions with them. I explain that it is better to agree on how to deal with behaviour. I also let them know that if their child goes off into a tantrum it can be very upsetting for the other little ones and vice versa.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I have time out but do not use a specific place but it is always away from the other children so they cannot see or harm anyone else. I was told by a behaviour child psycologise that it is damaging to a child to have a "naughty spot" or "time out spot" and to let them drop where they are misbehaving as long as it is safe to do so. This way there is no stigma attached to a specific spot. i.e. why don't kids want to go to bed when this is their naughty place? makes sense I think.

Obviously this wouldn't work with toddlers and I leave them exactly where they are (as long as it is safe to do so) and walk away. Most of the time they don't realise that I have gone. I do not cuddle and oooh and aaah with them when they stop as I believe that this is praise for bad behaviour

Everyone will have a different scenario and who knows who is right.

[helenlc]

I have read this thread with interest as I mind an almost 3 yr old who has mega tantrums. I have spoken with Mum and she says that she places him in his room until he has calmed down. She can hear him kicking the door, throwing things etc.

When out and about, I sit him in the buggy or sit him with me until he has calmed down (He tries to throw and push things when we are out so it is safer to restrain him in this circumstance - I have cleared this with Mum).

At home, I put him in the hallway where I can see him but he is away from the toys and other children. The trouble with this is he has now taken to opening my kitchen, lobby and toilet doors which are off the hallway. Whilst there is no immediate danger (lobby leads to front door but top bolt always across) I do worry about him going in kitchen by himself and the toilet also. If I go and take him out of the room and put him back in the hallway, he just goes straight back to the door to open it.

At the moment, I dont have any other children regularly but when I do, its hard work trying to play with and supervise them and him at the same time. I cannot leave him in the room with us as he throw and pushes things, hence I put him in the hallway.

I often wonder whether to bring the buggy in to strap him into, but not sure I want to do this, although it would be safer for all (he tries to bite, pinhc, kick, headbutt and spit on me!). I am also on the verge of giving notice to be honest. I have been consistent with him but do not seem to be getting anywhere.

Sorry, I have gone on a bit!!!:blush: I would make sure that you are consistent in what you do and check with parents as its important that you are all doing the same thing. Ignore the behaviour as much as is safe to do so and do not make a fuss.

[Toothfairy]

I feel for you Nicky, I am having behaviour problems with 2yr twins I am looking after at the moment.
I have had some fab support and suggestions from other members on here and I am sure they will do the same for you.

Keep your chin up.

[Carol]

It is hard knowing what to do for the best but time out works for some of the little ones I mind,but the hardest thing is getting them to say Sorry..........

Even harder to get hubby to say sorry too;)

Carol

[mushpea]

I always find ignoring (if safe to do so) the bad behaviour and praising the good works, being consistant, working with parents and NEVER give in to a tantrum as next time they will keep going untill you either do or they wear out.
I can always tell the kids whos parents give in cause their tantrums last longer. I once had a little boy who had a paddy the whole way to the shops, the whole way round the shops and the whole way home, this was about 1hr long and then still carried on at mine, by the time he left my care just over a year later he didn't bother having tantrums at mine but at home 'apparently' they got worse!!
so even if you have parents that wont work with you children do learn that different people do things different ways.

[Gizmo]

my own dd is nearly 2 and has quite a temper has taken to lying on the floor kicking and screaming we have been trying different ways to get her out of it the best so far is just trying to sit her up and asking her what is wrong, she seems to relate to this best for some reason, hopefully she will get out of this phase quickly (before i'm registered would be good)

Joy xx

[vix84]

So what exactly are Ofsteds views on what to do?