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Squiby
06-03-2009, 11:40 AM
I am in two minds at to how to proceed with this.

I have a child before and after school full time. I have had her part time since Sept last year and she went full time as mum got a new job in Jan this year so had her a while. Thought I had a good relationship with the mum but I think she si just taking libertys now.

Firstly I always have to ask for my money. My terms are cleared funds by 1st of the month, and part of the payment comes from dad (they aren't together) and this is always at least 5 days late. She is supposed to pay by DD for her bit otbu always bounces so I have to have a cheque even though I don't take them or else I don't get paid!

I don't open till 8 am as I have a young family as well. I said this from the outset and she said her new job has an 8 am start some mornings and could she drop her at 7.50. I said yes (because it was only 10 mins) and then she stared knocking at 7.40 and then 7.30 with child in tears as 'mummy was going to get told off at work for being late!' Didn't actually ask me so I had to speak to her and guess what now she comes at 7.30 every morning.

The week after half term mum is signed off sick for the week (skiing injury from last year still giving her pain in her knee) and didn't tell me child wasn't coming so I get up early and am ready for child but no show. Again I have to speak to mum about better communication as i was really cross that she hadn't seen fit to tell me I wasn't required.

So this week. Last night I get a phone call that she didnt expect me to answer as we go swimming after school on Thursdays telling me her Boyf dad is in hospital and she wants to go and visit and so can I have her DD until 7-7.30 pm. I finish at 6 pm and really don't want to work later than this as my DD gets no time with me alone as it is. So I said 6.30 would be the max and explained why. Guess what no show until 6.50 pm ! I was livid and she didn't even say sorry. I wasn't very friendly and wanted her gone ASAP last night. At drop off today i thought I might get an apology but no I got blanked! Barely even said hello.

I think she is taking the mickey now but am wound up so cant make a rational decision. WWYD over this as i have spoken to her over quite a few things of late and its not making any difference at all.

~Chelle~
06-03-2009, 12:01 PM
I think that you need to do a contract review, keep things business like and say to her that these are your hours and that if she is too early/late, there will be a £5.00 fee. That will stop her taking liberties with you.

I had a lot of crap from one mum and she really used me up and spat me out and I believe it was because I let it happen and treated her too "friendly".

I now think that I have a good working relationships with the parents of the kids that I look after because I keep it business like now. You need to do the same, if you dont they walk all over you!

Good luck xx

OrlandoBelle
06-03-2009, 12:09 PM
Oh dear, I think this needs nipping in the bud sooner rather than later or it will just get worse.

Tell her that her contraced hours state 7:50am start til 6:30pm and any time over this will result in a late collection charge (mine is £1.50 for every 15 mins late, though luckily I haven't had to use it yet).

Be firm and stand your ground. Tell her that if her early arrivals and late collections persist she might be better to look for a childminder who offers longer hours of care, but as you have a young family yourself, you are not prepared to extend your hours.

haribo
06-03-2009, 12:12 PM
good advice from chelle but its really hard to deal with parents like this they are not just unreasonable they can be very rude and you have to be very strong to deal with it . i had a parent like this i just stopped opening the door in the morning till the agreed time and the message got through quite soon, i would say" sorry wasnt ready" you really have to be as cheeky as them or they will walk all over you. if you need the money id persevere and try and be as firm as you can if you could fill the place id get rid the stress of dealing people like this is bad for your health x

katickles
06-03-2009, 01:01 PM
Gosh she sounds like she's walking all over you & not caring at all! It would be really angry at her :mad:

I really agree with Chel - a contract review is needed.

Are you in any position to be able to terminate the contract if she doesn't start to work alongside you & in accordance to your contract? Theres so many issues going on here, & like you said, she never takes any notice of what you say anyway!

I would arrange a meeting, explain that things are not working the way they should be & if they don;t change then maybe she'll need to find alternative childcare arrangements.

GOOD LUCK! x

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Chatterbox Childcare
06-03-2009, 01:04 PM
I think you need to ask yourself "do I want this?" Mum is obviously needing more support than you are prepared to give (your terms are clear) so maybe it would be best for the both of you if the little one left.

Hope it works out for you

mushpea
06-03-2009, 02:28 PM
I had one who was constantly late picking up and paying and i used to hate the fact she was late and even though i spoke to her about it and explained its my family time she still ddin't listen, i even took the child to my sons after school club once because she was late and so i wasnt there when she arrived and even this didnt help the message sink in , in the end she decided to use another minder for whatever reason but now she has gone life has been so much less stressful, looking back on it i wish i had terminated the contract months before.
just ask yourself is it worth all the stress and hassle and how is it effecting your family, it wasnt unitll she stopped comming and i noticed a change in my childrens behaviour that i realized how much all that was going on was affecting them too.

Squiby
06-03-2009, 02:35 PM
I am leaning towards termination with 2 buts:

1) my DD loves her DD and they are good friends

2) money - nobody is getting any phone calls at the moment and I am worried about filling her space esp as one of my other parents is temping at the mo due to being made redundant and I could very well lose that one in the next month or two...

I just hate that its my home and I feel like I am being abused in it when i have bent over backwards to be accommodating, like last year when she hurt her knee skiing I gave her DD a lift home every day for 5 weeks and didn't get a penny extra for doing it!!

Mouse
06-03-2009, 03:48 PM
With some parents, the more you give, the more they expect & take for granted. But they can only walk all over you if you let them.
I think you have to stop being so accommodating. For example, did you offer to drive the daughter home after the skiing accident? If you did, then remember not to offer to do anything else. If she asked you to do it, then next time she asks you to do something remember to tell her you will do X, but she will have to pay.

If you can't afford to terminate the contract and don't want things to carry on as they are then you are going to have to be prepared to stand up to her. It's a really tough thing to do, but you'll feel like you're on cloud nine after you've done it! It's you're business, so it's up to you to make sure it's run as you want. I'm not a naturally confident person, but I push myself to speak up when things aren't as I want.

Be strong & Good luck!

Chanelle
06-03-2009, 03:55 PM
This is very inconsiderate and she is definatelly taking advantage of your good nature. I would also suggest you be very buisness ,like and state her contracted hours .. highlighted! and give her the option of veriewing the contract to the new times and add in there the late fee of £5 per 15 mins! Be harsh with her and hopefully she4 will keep to her normal contracted hours.

Good Luck

kindredspirits
06-03-2009, 04:05 PM
you're not in the slightest bit unreasonable. sounds like this parent is a pain in the bottom and unfortunately you don't seem to want to risk loosing the income. i personally would write a list of all the points you need to mention - so she can't sidetrack you.
tell her you need to do a contract review as things aren't being delt with properly. you work from x time (before 8 can be classed as unsocial hours, so double time)
tell her from now on you'll charge £5 per day late payment, hers and dads bit you need iton time
and then say you charge £5 for every 15 mins shes late after 6pm. i know it seems harsh but after the 1st time she won't do it again
anna x

lolatallulah
06-03-2009, 05:55 PM
Definitely have a contract review - clearly stating extra charges for hours outside of contract AND very harsh BUT just to make her realise that you mean business, why not charge a fee for un-notified lateness £25 just for her not letting you know what her plans are - on top of the fees that is is to pay you for the care given. Hopefully just the threat of this would make her think about you!

Re the morning thing - i've experienced the same thing back in the early days & I am ashamed to say that i just put up with it.
BUT DON'T - I don't now.

Do as they do at nurseries & don't 'open up' until your setting hours begin - harsh - but this woman needs this sort of treatment by the sounds of it. That is unless you agree to work those hours in which case charge extra for and at an increased rate as it's unsociable hours for you.

Poor luv X hope you work things out X

Chanelle
06-03-2009, 06:01 PM
I work at a nursery in the mornings and we have a locked door until 8am ... if a child hasnt been picked up by 6pm the paerent will get a phone call. This is very strict and definatelly works! The parents respect that the nursery staff have a home to go to . The parent you are talking about should respect it is your home and you need to finish work !

huggableshelly
06-03-2009, 06:30 PM
I have a prent who drops off early on some days due to having to walk but thats a mutual agreement we have and she pays from 7 - 9 on the understanding that I open at 7:30 but willing to start sooner if needed but for that parent only.

i have enforced a £10.00 lateness fee for every 15 mins parents are late without notifying me first. the first 15 mins is acceptable for some parents they call if they are stuck in traffic too. But I had to bump it up due to a parent taking advantage leaving her child here till 7pm! his pickup time is 5pm.

so when I charged her for an extra £80.00 she didnt do it again and yep he is still in my care.

her excuse for being extremly late was she though dad was picking up, they do not talk to eachother their arrangements are made through me or their solicitor but dad was away for a fortnight and she knew this grrr.

Squiby
06-03-2009, 06:35 PM
I spoke to her about the morning thing and we agreed that on days she comes at 7.30 she would be picked up by 4.30 and i still charge 8 - 6pm.

But because she has been off work she is doing short days 9-1 and so this week dropped her off at 8.30 just as we are leaving for school, but I am still being paid from 8am.

Yesterday I said I would give her until 6.30 at the latest to try and accommodate the situation but she decided to be late anyway. what annoys me is just as we get one thing sorted something else happens, its never ending! I feel like I am always speaking to her about stuff as i do always pick her up on the issue I have already mentioned.

when it happened I tried ignoring the door bell to start with but she kept her finger on the bell and woke my DD up who was still asleep until i answered the door. I said you are early and she claimed not to have seen the time. It was only when her child burst into tears and came in i found out the truth. I spoke to her about it that day at pick up time and realised if I didn't want the 7.30 start she would have top go and i didn't want to loose her over 1/2 an hour esp if she was going at 4.30 and i was being paid until 6 IYSWIM??

I am beginning to think she isn't going to change because she doesn't want to see it from my side or cant because she is ignorant!

Bushpig
06-03-2009, 07:34 PM
Re not answering the door bell when people arrive early, I tried this for a particular parent who took liberties.. I didnt answer the one day and she then buzzed over and over (5 times in the space of 2 mins!!)... and I and my hubby and the other kids that were already there could take it no longer so let them in... 20 mins early :(

She said she thought the buzzer wasnt working... :rolleyes:

I realised I had to put my foot down with this parent - and did... and she almost bends over backwards now to be *good* (she is a late payer/late arriver - or NO arriver!/late picker upper etc.) ...

You really need to sort this out if you can - it will NEVER end. She is trying her luck!!