Advice please how to stop parents coming in!

[cuffleygirl]

Hi

This seems a odd one. I've had one mindee from the age of 18months now 7, his Mum drives me bananas when I open the door in the morning or the evening she just walks right past me and into the house.

When he was a baby it didn't seem so much of an issue as we would have more need to discuss his day in greater detail, food, sleep, nappies etc.

Now he is before and after school only she is often earlier than her contracted 7.30 (just by a few minutes but that's precious at that time) and later than her contract 4.30 in the evening so having him 'ready/suited and booted' is difficult.

I open the door in the morning she walks past me and into the hall to help him take his coat and shoes off (he's 7) sometimes going as far as the kitchen where breakfast is happening, my husband hates it! She will even comment 'burnt toast' 'running late this morning?' etc.

The evening is the same I open the door she walks in and goes through to the lounge to retrieve her son.

None of my other parents come in and unless necessary, kiss mum at the door in the morning and go and get ready to go in the evening.

I feel it rude to bar the entrance as its gone on so long but its my home and even the other older children now have bets on far into the house she is going to come. I love her son as my own but she shows such little respect and its getting to me, I tell myself its only for a few minutes each day but I still feel peeved :angry:

Anybody had similar?

[peanuts]

just keep door locked in the morning and at pick up time have bags and coat at the door and take child with you so she cant come in too far

[Pipsqueak]

hardish one - I used to have a parent who thought it was ok to pass comment and stop for hours on end.

You could use a nicely worded section in a newsletter or if she is that obtuse then you are going to have to bite the bullet and speak to her nicely. She may feel that because she has been with you for such a long time she feels extremely at home at yours.


My brain isn't working at the moment of how to word it nicely and prettily to put in a newsletter, at the moment my brain keeps popping up with "all parents can bog off if they think they are getting past the front door and will you all stop encroaching on my precious family time" so not very helpful at the moment. Someone else will be along of how to word something nicely

[claireLouise]

I consider myself lucky my parents except one are lovely. They all come into the hall and wait to be invited into other rooms if this is necessary. I have the opposite problem one parent who does not even cross the door or give me 2 mintues to give her an update! She is too busy, working under pressure for long hours - sound familar?:angry:

Claire

[cuffleygirl]

The door is locked in the morning when I open it she just walks right past me. In the evening the coat/bag is in the hall, her child is in the lounge she will walk past me through the kitchen to get him. Can't realistically have him ready and waiting because her pick up time is inconsistent (often upto half an hour late) and this would exclude him from play which I don't feel is fair

[amirose]

That would drive my other half absolutely nuts too, in fact I'd have to say something because if I didn't he would :panic:

I normally let my mindees mum come in but yesterday I was in a rush so I told M to put away her puzzle then grabbed M's coat shoes and bag (in an over the top gosh I'm in such a rush way) opened the front door and stood in the way and shouted M hurry up mummy's here then M came to the door we both stood in the way while I helped with coat and shoes then I looked at mum and said see you tomorrow - worked like a charm :laughing:

This mum is clearly very assertive the aim is to be more assertive than her :thumbsup:

[Angela234]

My parent except 1 leaves the children at the door but they do come in when they pick up we just have a quick chat then they leave thats the way its always been here.

Its interesting that others don't have parents in, mine only stop for at most 5 mins.

Unless you keep an eye out for when mum comes and quickly get child ready before you open the door.

Angela

[chaotic_space]

You could tether the kid to a tree in the garden.

Oh what? I'm KIDDING! :rolleyes:

You'll have to be assertive about it and tell her it has to stop if it's driving you nuts or hubby nuts (which is worse coz then we get the fall out!) Most parents are fine about being asked to stop doing something if you explain it is disruptive.

[kindredspirits]

how about a newsletter asking parents not to go further than the hall with shoes on due to mess from the roads on your carpets - then by the time mum thinks about faffing with her shoes you can retrieve son from play and she's got no reason to tread further!!!
and if she does 'forget' you can just say, er sorry, you're shoes are on - i'll get him'. ;)

[karenandsmile]

oo let me put the cat amoungst the pigeons

i let my parents come and are free to roam down stairs as their children are in here and the kids want to show their parents what they have been up to, i would also worry if i stopped my parents coming in would they think iam am hiding something from them and the parents might become worried.

i let the parents get them ready to go home as im minding other children and in this time the parent can have a quick chat with their child to make sure their day has been good if not they have a chance to discuss the days events there and then (not babies though or children who dont talk much i then talk to the parent while they are getting sorted)

when the parents are in they then offer ideas and supplies to help with projects we are doing.

i find it a help

and what about your parents signing the children in and out you cant expect them to do that in the street

[tinkerbelle]

some of my mums come into the hall way and go no further and some come into room and sit with e for 5 minutes if kids are still playing i dont mind either way i personnaly would not stop them coming in to my lounge as this is were kids paly most of the day and dining room wall is kids gallery so they like to show mum and dad their pics

[huggableshelly]

I have a Dad who does that on me, the child is 8!

the child has turned around and said "dad will you stop coming in to fecth me, even M's Mum doesnt come in she waits in the porch and he is only 4"

Dad now steps into the hallway and as he cant sit on the sofa he usually only chats for 10 mins now not an hour!

maybe you could manimuplate the child in a way to request him Mum doesnt go into the house, I've got no idea how to tell you to go about this though maybe role play on what other parents do but its a fine line as you dont need him going back saying cuffleygirl wants you to stop coming into her house.

[chaotic_space]

I should have added that personally I don't mind parents coming in so long as they don't come and sit in the kitchen at meal times and get under my feet (and trust me I will say....you need to wait in the sitting room your getting under my feet!). It's easier for me if parents get their own kids coats and shoes on after all.

Not everyone is happy about it though so if your not then speak up it is YOUR home after all.

[angeldelight]

oo let me put the cat amoungst the pigeons

i let my parents come and are free to roam down stairs as their children are in here and the kids want to show their parents what they have been up to, i would also worry if i stopped my parents coming in would they think iam am hiding something from them and the parents might become worried.

i let the parents get them ready to go home as im minding other children and in this time the parent can have a quick chat with their child to make sure their day has been good if not they have a chance to discuss the days events there and then (not babies though or children who dont talk much i then talk to the parent while they are getting sorted)

when the parents are in they then offer ideas and supplies to help with projects we are doing.

i find it a help

and what about your parents signing the children in and out you cant expect them to do that in the street

WHAT !!!!!!!

You really let the parents roam around ?

My home is my home - all parents stay out the door when they bring their children and collect them
We are to busy and I have my family to consider its not fair on them if they are eating and our cloakroom leads straight to the kitchen

If parents want a more personal chat though they all know they are more than welcome to come in if a appointment is arranged

They also come and view the kids folders every few months and they come in and see what the kids have been doing at the same time

I dont think it looks like you are hiding something just because you want your home to be your home

You care and entertain the children at the end of the day NOT the parents

It would seriously drive me mad - I have one set of parents who I can not get rid of at the door - imagine if I invited them in NO WAYYYY they would expect dinner do doubt :laughing: :laughing:

I think you are going to have to block the way with child ready to go - be firm but nice

Let us know how it goes

Angel xx

Angel xx

[Twinkles]

I have to admit I don't mind the parents coming in - as long as they don't want to stay too long !
I usually have the child's shoes on 5 mins before they're due and when I hear a knock at the door I call the child that mummy's here , so we often answer the door together.
But if a child wants to show them something or we are caught out by them being early I really don't mind it.

[Pipsqueak]

OK had a think and feel a bit nicer now;

Newsletter

Dear Parents, during drop of times could I respectfully remind everyone that if they could remain in the hall (or other place you prefer) and help their child take their coat of etc, my family would very much appreciate your consideration in this matter. The reason I request this is that my family are still preparing for their day and can often find this a bit of an intrusion on their privacy.
Could I remind all parents that collection is expected to be prompt within contracted hours unless pre-arranged/notified. If there are unarranged late collections then I will have no option but to implement late collection fees which are £xx per 15 minutes. May I respectfully remind you (again) that I may have other commitments or other children to care for, that due to tardiness of others we are then late or adequately prepared for ourselves.


Something along those lines - but still my brain is not feeling workable or nice!

[hectors house]

kindred spirit has just said what I was going to say - ask all parents to take shoes off - get it established now while everyone is wearing boots and lace up shoes as when it gets to the summer flip flops are easier to kick off and for her to come on in.

Can't the child come with you when you answer the door and put his shoes and coat on in the hall and shut all the doors off of the hall.

I know a childminder who had a parent who went into the kitchen and put childs lunch in the fridge every day - she got over that by introducing a no outdoor shoes in the kitchen due to food hygiene standards - I wouldn't want anyone in my fridge either.

I have had all 3 lots of parents arrive at 5.30 pm on a friday night and stay chatting to each other for half an hour while I tidied up and got on with the tea. Luckily one parent has changed days now, so that doesn't happen - did do an assertiveness course once but not very good at using it still.

[wendywu]

Mine only sign the attendance register once a week.
They come into the hall but do not roam around the rest of the house. I have children ready at pick up time a 5 min chat and home.

In the morning i must admit it is hand children over on the doorstep and go, but that is them more than me.

My husband would go mad if someone walked into the kitchen while he was eating.

[geraldine72]

sorry but i also agree that parent's should come in and share their child's day with you. all my parent's come in and get updated on their child's day, after all we're meant to be in partnership with parents and i would worry if i was being stood at the door on collecting my child from nursery/childminder. some parent's do outstay their welcome but i just say oh see you tomorrow or say goodbye politely somehow and get on with things this usually works. it is hard that your privacy is invaded doing this job but i guess that's what we signed up for. hope you can come to an understanding.

Geraldine:)

[manjay]

I am so with you on this one Angel. No way do parents get further than my porch. My ds has adopted the role of official "lookout":laughing:. You can't see through my door which parent it is so he will look through the letter box and shout "xxxxx Mummy is here". Said child then gets scooped up and taken into the hall. I have had problems in the past when I was new and knew no better but now I just block the doorway. I don't feel it shows I have something to hide just that I need to get on with my job and look after the others.

[Pipsqueak]

all my parents do come in for 5 mintues or so and thats it. I have learnt my lesson the hard way.
They can have a quick look-see around if child wants to show them something but NO WAY are they just roaming around my house - my home.

Sorry you can't do it at many nurseries - just go roaming about.

Just thought of another way to stop them doing it - get hubby to wonder around almost naked - or would that work the opposite way????:D

[FizzysFriends]

I don't open the front door until mindee is in the hall and putting her coat and shoes on, I make sure all the doors to other rooms are closed too so it doesn't look inviting.

[loocyloo]

i have one i try and get ready as soon as i spot the car turning into the road !!! we still might chat for 10 mins, but not 30 !

i did once have a dad who always turned up early ( 1/2hr!!! ) and just came in and stood watching his son eat! drove me mad, so after a while i said either you take him as soon as you arrive, and i'll end tea home, or come back and get him later! he tried to say that he couldn't help being early if the traffic was good! i said no, but i can't do tea any earlier, and its not fair on the other children as their parents AREN'T there! so go home, and come back ( he lived ...ooo 2minutes away! i'd have been more understanding if it was far away! )

on the whole, the majority of parents stay in my hall, but i don't mind a little wander if child wants to show them something! but i don't actively encourage it LOL !!!!

xxx

[angeldelight]

Just thought of another way to stop them doing it - get hubby to wonder around almost naked - or would that work the opposite way????:D

OMG they would all run if my hubby did that

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Angel xx

[Pipsqueak]

OMG they would all run if my hubby did that

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Angel xx

problem solved - borrow Mr Angel:clapping: :laughing:

[angeldelight]

problem solved - borrow Mr Angel:clapping: :laughing:


There you go then hes yours for free :clapping: :clapping:

Now if it was the fantastic sexy Enrique

Well thats a different story .....................

Angel xx

[haribo]

im like twinkles really -i dont mind it occasionally or when theres been a break and we have a quick catch up but i really dont like having a parent telling me about there day i dont mind if we re talking about their child but i sometimes feel im being offloaded on and im too frazzled to listen to everyones problems at work ive got enough myself thanks . ive no hallway just a porch which i try and confine parents to which doesnt really work- think ill get a parent gate across hahaha

[HomefromHome]

get a new carpet!!!!! it's stopped mine!!!!!

obviously this is an expensive way to do it - say you've had the carpets cleaned if you want a subtle way, otherwise i would just try and chat with her saying look i dont mean to be rude but can you just stop in my hallway please when picking up/dropping off x. just say my family are still having breakfast etc so are finding it a bit disconcerting having people walk through the house. say that you are telling all the parents this then she wont feel singled out.:)
good luck!

[sue m]

Ooh,I've had this and it drove me MAD! I've posted about it before. I actually had to get rid of the child (terminate the contract I mean!! :eek: ) who I adored. The mother had mental problems, depression etc and couldn't hold down her job which was a really good one with the BBC and she was on long term sick but still brought S to me. She shoved her way in on a morning at 8am and was usually there hours. I can't actually remember how I got her to go, I think we got ready to go out.

In the evenings she would come and I knew once she got in, I would have here there for hours. I used to have S at the door with coat and shoes on and only open the door a little bit and stand there trying to /block' her way in. S had an older sister who was 11 and either she would ask to use the loo (on her mothers' instructions I believe) so she got in and then the mother got in or S would go outside, come back in and the 11 year old would chase her to get her and the mother would be in again. If I managed to stop them, the mother would ask if she could use my downstairs loo and then both kids were in and Mum would say "oh S, have you filled your nappy?" and she'd sit on the settee and put S on her lap and that was it! She was in and sitting down! I've even had my coat and boots on when she got there and said I have to dash to Tesco and she STILL stood talking. She was there from 5:20 untill 11pm one night!!! I kid you not!!! I said I had to get on and cook dinner and have a shower so she would offer to start dinner while I went and had a shower!!!!

When I did get them out of the house, they used to go to our big new Tesco and wander round there for hours and watch the tv in there and when they really had to, go back to their own flat. She actually texts me every now and again and the other day she did and said we'll have to come and see you. OMG!!! I know they would end up staying, it wouldn't just be for the day. She really puts the wind up me! lol. She might come to visit and move in!!!

It is a really hard one and I really feel for you. Sorry I'm not much help. :panic:

[Bananabrain]

I have a parent who does this,brings older sibling too,at 6 o'clock, who starts getting all the toys out that I've just put away!

Drives me nuts.

My 11 year old now knows that as soon as the doorbell rings he has to disappear.Told parents it's because he gets the other children too excited when I'm trying to talk.

If a parent came in in the morning I would go mad, They have no concept of what it's like getting mindees breakfasted and to school on time.

I do try to close the hallway door but there is not much space.

Thinking of saying that I have to discuss children's details/issues in private so have to close door.

I always say to people when they ask about childminding 'love the children,it's the parents I have a problem with!'

[RainbowMum]

I would try the 'fostering independance' route. Have a chat with mum and say now he's getting older it would be very beneficial for him to begin saying goodbye at the doorstep and coming in sorting his own coat out etc, and the same at pick up - if she can wait in the hall while he organises himself - it will help get him ready for big school where they expect children to be more independant?

Other than that I would blame the other half - say he doesn't like having his breakfast interupted and roll your eys and sigh lol!

[sammy]

i normally let my parents in, i did have one who came in and stopped for about 15 mins, and tell me how she was stressed and going to doctors to get it sorted etc, but the thing is she then makes me feel sorry for her then takes adavntage of getting back from docs late etc. So its best not to let them in for too long or you get sucked into there world and problems.

As i said though i normally let my minded parents come in they do normally come into the hallway, and in my front room/kitchen, but i would prefer them to just drop there kids off at the door.

I also dont normally let them upstairs (my bedroom/ sons room and sensory room) as they have to pass my room and its normally untidy.

OMG a really EMBARASSING time was the other week when my son let a parent in she came UPSTAIRS, whilst i was in the sensory room, i didnt even hear the door knock-she came half an hour early, and she sneaked up past my really untidy room, she made me jump out of my skin when i turned around as i wasnt expecting her. Her son was playing happily and i had nothing to hide apart from the mess!! in the rooms she walked past!!

my bed wasnt made, there was a massive ironing pile, pyjamas on the floor, mixed with toys etc! i must add it is normally tidy. I FELT SO UNCOMFORTABLE, and she only ever sees everything totally immaculate, so she must have been shocked!! haha

But i certainly wouldnt have them in my private areas, like my bedroom!! not unless the husband was a bit of hot stuff - lol

[madasahatter]

Having read the posts I'm a bit surprised, and like only a few posters, welcome parents into my home (downstairs only). I wouldn't dream of making them wait in the hall or porch. (cat among pigeons bit!). I've always thought the we as childminders were supposed to provide a home from home setting, to my mind that also means that parents are also treated (to some extent) as part of that extended family. I wouldn't dream of making my mum & dad or sister wait in the hall and so wouldn't make parents of minded kids do so either. Little ones often need to tell and show mum/dad what they have been doing. It helps draw a line under their day and smooth the transition. I would expect major tantrums from some of mine if they were bundled out as quickly as possible.
And this is the really controversial bit (Sorry I don't mean to offend anyone)
......if I was leaving my child with another adult in their home I would be a but suspicious if I couldn't see what the child had been up to, or what the environment was like. As part of the EYFS we are supposed to be forging better links with parents and other settings, surely this transition time is the perfect opportunity. If parents are made to feel welcome they are more likely to be forthcoming with information and also better relationships are forged which can lead to greater flexibility when you might need a little time off for doctors, dentists etc.
Mind you it's a rare occurance for any of my parents to be late and when they do come in they only stay for a few minutes. I agree that some parents do take liberties and they need dealing with accordingly and some good suggestions have been made for this.

[Pipsqueak]

I think there is a difference though between parent coming in and having a quick chat and seeing childrens work on the walls to them breezing through your home, without a care or thought for other members of family, your carpets, other children in the home/setting, passing inappropriate comments, encroaching on precious family time and generally behaving as if this wasn't your home. Its great that they feel that comfortable but there comes a point when you have to set boundaries surely. These people aren't my friends or family - they are like extended family and I welcome them into my home but there needs to be some respect.

You can't just breeze in and out of nursery - its just not done or pre-school.

[madasahatter]

Ahh this must be where we have the difference.

breezing through your home, without a care or thought for other members of family, your carpets, other children in the home/setting, passing inappropriate comments, encroaching on precious family time and generally behaving as if this wasn't your home.
My parents knock on the door and I invite them in telling them their child is in the lounge/dining room/playroom. I've never had any treating my home as you describe. In that case I probably would feel a bit irked
Like I said I didn't want to offend anyone

[Pipsqueak]

Ahh this must be where we have the difference.

My parents knock on the door and I invite them in telling them their child is in the lounge/dining room/playroom. I've never had any treating my home as you describe. In that case I probably would feel a bit irked
Like I said I didn't want to offend anyone

None taken mad!!!!:) There are some very selfish and non-thinking parents out there.
I used to have a parent who would come in and stop for nearly an hour plus some, even if I had to go somewhere she would be quite happy stopping (!) or follow me out the door and keep talking to me as I was getting in the car.
Comments would be passed about anything new in the house, my hubby working late - having a beer (is he an alcoholic he is always drinking), of course my house can be quite messy like this, etc etc. Ma or Pa (whoever was on pick up) thought nothing of tootling upstairs to the bathroom, and having a quick peek into the rooms, especially if the angel LO (:rolleyes: ) wanted to go in there, if LO wanted to go to the toilet then regardless if one of my lot was in the bathroom (hubby included) then it would be requested that they could come out just for a quick moment etc etc etc, then the "personal" visits started - we were just dropping by.......


Like I say I have learnt my lesson:)

[LittleStars]

I can top this...

when I had a new mindee on the first few days mum came in and said to LO lets go and choose some fruit for you to take to school and she waltzed LO through the house to the kitchen and chose 2 pieces of fruit from MY fruit bowl to put in her school bag...I was :eek: and :eek: and double :eek: I was left stood in the doorway agog!!!

It took me 3 days to summon the courage to take the school bag from her on the doorstep and say...don't worry about that. I will sort it out while ushering her out of the door!!!

3 months on Mum is still a pain in the wotsit...shes always late..always has an excuse...gets really funny with me about the tiniest things! Parents huh!


I let them into the front room (no hallway) but they don't go further unless asked and I rarely invite anyone to stay for longer or offer a cuppa...

Jen

[flora]

I think I would be very firm on this one as it is obviously bothering you and dh.

Try the newsletter or as someone suggested get it from the ds perspective.

You could say that other kids have commented??? And so that he can be independant could she try collecting from the door??? How would she take that???

Personally I don't have this prob, one lot sit in the car outside and I deliver them. The other comes to the door.

Whilst I am working I have no prob with parents coming in. But because this is such a small village I know both of my paretns well and see them socially so it doesn't feel like an intrusion. I thinks that where it's different.

[bubbly]

Someone needs to invent a childflap. A catflap for children. Parents would be too big to climb through :laughing:

[Daftbat]

I have had this problem to some degree - a friend coming in without knocking at my back door - leads in to kitchen and sometimes it is unlocked if i am there and going in an out to the bin etc. or am not working.

I would personally ensure that the doors leading off the hallway are shut when you answer the door and when she barges past just tell her straight that your family are in the house and would appreciate some privacy. I find in most cases like these the parents don't realise what they are doing.

I solved the problem with my friend by purposely bolting the door even when i was in the kitchen especially just at the time i knew she would be coming or if i saw her car draw up. I think its harder to confront friends - customers i find easier to tell straight.

[devoncm]

my problem isnt the parent-its the mindee, i tell to put her shoes on as mum knocks on door but she just sits there and does nothing then has to cuddle mum tell her she didnt eat her lunch at school and show her contents of lunchbox:angry: DO IT AT HOME OR IN THE CAR!!

Other times she walks in front room with shoes on to see what everyone else is doing- sorted this by if marc is on computer the chair is in doorway do cant open it or Jasmine sits in the way and i say shes doing homework.

She doesnt get picked up til 6.30 so i think its fair to say politle get out my house so i can bath my kids before there bedtime at 7.30!!

[peanuts]

very occasionally my parents get into the livingroom they get met at the hall with the child

[mabel]

I agree after a 9 hour day I just want my own time and family !

to chat and update at the end of the week or if there is a problem
but some of mine and have sat on the sofa and breastfed baby for 40 minutes in my time, i would not have minded but she only lived a few doors away baby could have waited, meaniwhile my own children had to WAIT for the tea !!

[louised]

I have a similar problem with one of mindees dads who always gets settled on the sofa when he comes to collect. None of the other parents do it they're in and out in minutes. I always make a point of switching off the tv as he would sit there watching it all night. I have tried having his son ready but that didn't work he still walks into the lounge and sits down. I've come up with a new plan though, a couple of weeks ago we had a flood so are in the process of relaying all our downstairs floors and when they are finished I am going to politely request that all shoes are removed when entering the house, if you don't take them off you don't get off the hallway runner. I really don't think he will bother to take them off so hopefully my problem will be solved. Although my floors are all hard floors so much grit is brought in from outside on shoes and I have a baby starting in October who will be spending a lot of time on the floor as do the other children and I don't think it's hygenic to wear outdoor shoes in the house.

[HomefromHome]

Having read the posts I'm a bit surprised, and like only a few posters, welcome parents into my home (downstairs only). I wouldn't dream of making them wait in the hall or porch. (cat among pigeons bit!). I've always thought the we as childminders were supposed to provide a home from home setting, to my mind that also means that parents are also treated (to some extent) as part of that extended family. I wouldn't dream of making my mum & dad or sister wait in the hall and so wouldn't make parents of minded kids do so either. Little ones often need to tell and show mum/dad what they have been doing. It helps draw a line under their day and smooth the transition. I would expect major tantrums from some of mine if they were bundled out as quickly as possible.
And this is the really controversial bit (Sorry I don't mean to offend anyone)
......if I was leaving my child with another adult in their home I would be a but suspicious if I couldn't see what the child had been up to, or what the environment was like. As part of the EYFS we are supposed to be forging better links with parents and other settings, surely this transition time is the perfect opportunity. If parents are made to feel welcome they are more likely to be forthcoming with information and also better relationships are forged which can lead to greater flexibility when you might need a little time off for doctors, dentists etc.
Mind you it's a rare occurance for any of my parents to be late and when they do come in they only stay for a few minutes. I agree that some parents do take liberties and they need dealing with accordingly and some good suggestions have been made for this.

i have to say i do get on wi my mums really well and always encourage the children to show any work etc. i did have one who would just walk into my lounge wi shoes on which really annoyed me but now have new carpet so it doesnt happen!
i am shocked tho by reading some of the posts how brazen some can be - i totally agree with what you have put but this should be invited and encouraged by us in the first place - parents shouldnt just assume they have a right to walk through your house and do what they want. hopefully this is the rarity.
the reason i'm replyin to you in a way is that you have highlighted a point which i want to re-iterate to any mums out there - if you are deliberately not 'allowed' in, DO be worried. a mindee i took on a while ago (now moved on but still have a great relationship wi them) had a shocking c/m previously - no contract and was never allowed in to get her child. turned out this'c/m' wasnt registered and had 7 children under 5!!!!!!!!!:eek: as well as her 4 over 5!!!!she was a reg c/m but this had been 'reovoked' i think is the politest way to put it!
i still know and hear of supposed c/m who i know damn well are not reg and claiming. it makes me mad but hopefully this is on the decrease as more and more info is out there now about childcare.
right i'll go and chill now!!!:)

[Trouble]

on a thursday and friday i finish early

usually parent likes to stay and chat for 1/2 after pick up time so today i took baby and stuff to the door and said she tired so to save a battle ill walk you to the car:D :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

will do it tomorrow too:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

[cuffleygirl]

First of all I obviously have nothing to hide and agree it is a home setting but it is my home. I actively encourage children to show work that has been done etc.

But I have always waited to be invited into anyone's home, I feel that she thinks that she can into my lounge as she is paying me to looking after her child. sort of fair point but also it is my home. Also take into account that to get into my lounge she has to walk through the hall into a reception room which leads into my kitchen, then dining room before reaching the lounge its like a corridor. En route she will pass comments like "oh running behind this morning?', 'oh you've burnt the toast' or even make comments about my husbands choice of breakfast cereal! or its really raining today as she walks through in shoes!

In the evening I'm usually treated comments about the tea I'm cooking, or she will engage in conversation with my children or other mindee's.

I just feel she is intruding rather than taking an interest. I feel uncomfortable being rude and blocking her route its just not me.

[HomefromHome]

First of all I obviously have nothing to hide and agree it is a home setting but it is my home. I actively encourage children to show work that has been done etc.

But I have always waited to be invited into anyone's home, I feel that she thinks that she can into my lounge as she is paying me to looking after her child. sort of fair point but also it is my home. Also take into account that to get into my lounge she has to walk through the hall into a reception room which leads into my kitchen, then dining room before reaching the lounge its like a corridor. En route she will pass comments like "oh running behind this morning?', 'oh you've burnt the toast' or even make comments about my husbands choice of breakfast cereal! or its really raining today as she walks through in shoes!

In the evening I'm usually treated comments about the tea I'm cooking, or she will engage in conversation with my children or other mindee's.

I just feel she is intruding rather than taking an interest. I feel uncomfortable being rude and blocking her route its just not me.

this sounds like its starting to get you down - you're gonna have to speak to her hun - she has no right to make those comments. go back and read what i put to say to her and what others have suggested. you'll go insane otherwise!!:)

[wendywu]

You run a business from home and that is what it is. It is the rest of the families home and they have the right to privacy.

Also if a parent comes in and starts to chat the rest of the mindees take advantage and run riot. I cannot concentrate on them which is my job. This is the time when accidents can happen.:)

[nikim]

could you not put in a news letter something like "all parents when entering the setting must sign in and out due to new child protection procedures " (to be honest if she is coming further than the hall she should be doing this anyway if you have other mindees around ) thus stalling her then by the time shes signed in you can have lo ready , and if she asks why none else has signed in you can jump in with "because they wait at the door for their child!" maybe then she will get fed up with signing in and out :clapping:

good luck
p.s i have had a similar prob with my husband(when he has been home) and 1 of the dads when they get together they are like a couple of old women and seem to forget why he is here :rolleyes: so i had to ask huubby not to engage in conversation or make himself scarce at pick up!!!lol

[miss mopple]

I found a big 'no shoes on the carpet' sign stopped them coming too far in too often ;)

I dont mind parents coming into the lounge at all, but not to make themselves comfy. I like swift handovers and most parents now loiter in the hallway until the kids are ready :)

[Dragonfly]

Big notice on my door ' please remove your shoes' they take the childrens shoes off and march in with theirs on (one came in with wellies on once, adult not child:eek: ) and sit down!!!!!! or just stand around talking to each other(:mad: if two sets of parents come at once)
Dont want to be rude but day in day out gets a bit much at times:angry:

[singlewiththree]

I'm another one who lets the parents in and I'm in no hurry to chuck them out, my own children struggle if moved too quickly so I try and offer a gentle transition from me to their mum. We chat about things that have happened, even though its in the DD and the child shows activities they have done etc. I like it so far but am only working part time at the moment so it may all change

[Lady Haha]

I have to admit I LIKE chatting to the parents! After a whole day of minding, adult conversation is heaven (I'm a single parent)! It's usually the parents trying to make a quick getaway from me!!! To be fair though, they are welcome to come further than the hallway, but they rarely do. It's just polite to wait to be invited into any rooms really! On average they stay for five mins max while their child tells them what they have been up to and are putting their coat/shoes on and I fill them in too. This mum you are dealing with would drive me mad too! I do have one mum who is also a friend who picks up at 6pm but stays til nearly 7pm for a coffee. I have found this one tough as my son's bedtime is 7.30 and her staying so late messes that up! But as she is also my friend, I don't think she realises!

Mornings are clockwork, all parents drop off at the door, they are always in a rush then!

[Twinkles]

could you not put in a news letter something like "all parents when entering the setting must sign in and out due to new child protection procedures " (to be honest if she is coming further than the hall she should be doing this anyway if you have other mindees around ) thus stalling her then by the time shes signed in you can have lo ready , and if she asks why none else has signed in you can jump in with "because they wait at the door for their child!" maybe then she will get fed up with signing in and out :clapping:

good luck
p.s i have had a similar prob with my husband(when he has been home) and 1 of the dads when they get together they are like a couple of old women and seem to forget why he is here :rolleyes: so i had to ask huubby not to engage in conversation or make himself scarce at pick up!!!lol


I have had this problem with my dh in the past , he just starts chatting to parents and I'm there trying to tell them about their child's day or help them get ready to go. It's especially annoying if I have something I particularly need to chat to parents about.I've had to tell him just a quick hello and then make yourself scarce please !

[yummymummy]

In my early days of childminding I always invited the parents in. In the end it got that one dad would stay and "chat" for up to an an hour so that I was still in effect in charge of his child and by the time he got home mum was home so he didn't actually have to care for his child at all! Another single mum used to turn up on Friday at 5.30 with a bottle of wine! she had already usually had a drink with colleagues and thought she'd start the weekend here! It was a nightmare to get rid of her so in the end all my family used to put our coats on and pretend we were going straight out, it was awful and she got really humpy!!
Now we tend to hand over in the hall and one mum in particular likes to have a chat about how her daughters day went, I have no objection to this but her daughter turns into a little devil, interrupting us, taking her coat off etc, running around and having paddies if her mum says no. She is NOT like this for me and drives me nuts. We did agree to have her ready and hand over at door as at one time she was so bad, especially if dad collects, but she got a lot better so mum comes in again but she is now lapsing back to old ways so doorstep handover may have to be reintroduced!

[Mouse]

I do think it depends entirely on what you want & on the parents involved. Some of mine would hand over/collect on the doorstep and wouldn't come in even when I asked them to. Others would come in, get themselves comfy & sit for ages. When we moved house I had one dad who came in & went straight upstairs to have a look round. DH & the kids were still in bed & understandibly, far from happy about it!
Luckily I now have a compromise.
Parents come into the hall to drop off & for a quick chat. At going home time they again come into the hall, but if the children want to show them something I ask the parents to go through & have a look.
I'm more than happy for them to stop for a 10/15 minute chat each day, but don't want them here any longer than that unless it's been arranged.
I make it clear at the start of the contract that that is how I work.

[acorns]

After having had a set of parents that thought my home was theirs (even had the Dad laying down in the playroom with shoes on:angry: ) I now take mindee to the door saying 'ooohh, look who's here'. I have all their stuff ready to go, Mum just gets as far as the hall, quick chat and off she goes. Works a treat & I don't feel liberties are being taken.