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Pipsqueak
01-02-2008, 08:02 PM
This is my Policies Policy:

I will have a Policy about everything:
Toilet Runs (mine and the children, in and out of the setting) including Nappy Changing - please refer to Paulines Policy on Flushing Down the Toilet

Drugs and Alcohol (but please believe by the end of writing all the Policies I certainly need some type of relief but only if I am not caring for children the following day therefore I realise through my Risk Assessment <please see appendix A> that I need a Policy about the Night Before)

Laundry - if your child dirties their clothes in the pursuit of free flow play in the middle of a downpour I am afraid that I cannot clean their clothes due to the fact that I have had to get rid of my washing machine (please refer to EYFS for further instruction)

Health, Safety and Hygiene - I will at all times ensure that your child will be safe, secure and hygienic due to the fact that they will not leave my side whilist I am here typing out my policies.

Actual Childminding - (no can do to many policies to write....)
etc etc

Risk Assessment - I run the high risk of developing a RSI, Burst Blood Vessel, Eye Strain, Breakdown (of self or family unit) in the amount of time I have to sit here and do my Policies and Risk Assessments in the pursuit of the Outstanding grading and the pleasing the paperloving, tropical rainforest destroyers that then contributes to Global Warming that are our all knowing and wonderful friends - OFSTED.



Thought we could do with a little lighthearted banter....:jump for joy:

smartypants
01-02-2008, 08:06 PM
:ROFL1: :magnificent: Lol made me laugh but how true is that :eek:

mrsbumbles
01-02-2008, 08:07 PM
Thats so clever and sooo true lol

emler
01-02-2008, 08:09 PM
:ROFL1: :goodjob: certainly made me laugh!

Emler x

Spangles
01-02-2008, 08:09 PM
Very funny!

bubbly
01-02-2008, 08:53 PM
That's hilarious. Thanks for making my evening perfect :thumbsup: :laughing:

charleyfarley
01-02-2008, 09:10 PM
:laughing: :laughing: How funny is that:laughing: :laughing:

Carol xx

Delly
01-02-2008, 09:24 PM
this had made my evening !! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

I've been sat at this computer doing policies for about 6 hours now... i needed a good laugh..

cheers :thumbsup:

Gonna get a beer now :excited:

ajs
01-02-2008, 09:34 PM
sorry vik you mean this isn't serious but i thought that's what ofsted were expecting of us. to stop actual childminding and just push paper all day

sorry i must have got the wrong end of the stick

sarah707
01-02-2008, 09:47 PM
Very good! :laughing:

LittleMissSparkles
01-02-2008, 09:52 PM
I think I said this earlier Vik but you cheer me up so much when i feel glumy you are so funny a real tonic thank you :)

RainbowMum
01-02-2008, 09:53 PM
Very Funny! I have to laugh, if not I'd be rocking in a corner of a padded room - do you think we should have an 'In cae of nervous breakdown' policy?

I sometimes think I need an 'almost throttled a little b';@!^$d today' policy

Kids - Gotta love em!
ofsted - have to dispair!

RainbowMum
01-02-2008, 09:54 PM
Very Funny! I have to laugh, if not I'd be rocking in a corner of a padded room - do you think we should have an 'In case of nervous breakdown' policy?

I sometimes think I need an 'almost throttled a little b';@!^$d today' policy

Kids - Gotta love em!
ofsted - have to dispair!

avril
01-02-2008, 09:55 PM
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: Very true I've been sat here lap top stuck to my knees since my last mindee went home at 4.00pm updating and doing new policies for this that and the next thing poor kids cannot move without them being risk assessed or photographed for evidence that I do something just for OFSTED to see in a 3hr visit. God help us come September!!:angry:


Avril :laughing:

miffy
01-02-2008, 10:01 PM
Nice one Vik :laughing:

Miffy xx

LittleMissSparkles
01-02-2008, 10:02 PM
I sometimes think I need an 'almost throttled a little b';@!^$d today' policy




oh good its not just me that sometimes feels like that then :littleangel:

Pipsqueak
02-02-2008, 12:32 AM
How about a "I will know more about your kids and have more photographs of them than you do Policy" ?:D

bubbly
02-02-2008, 12:48 AM
How about a "I will know more about your kids and have more photographs of them than you do Policy" ?:D

OMG, please stop it & give me chance to get up off the floor :ROFL1: :ROFL1: :ROFL1:

Trouble
02-02-2008, 04:30 PM
How about a "I will know more about your kids and have more photographs of them than you do Policy" ?:D

you are funny and soooooo true:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

deeb66
02-02-2008, 07:04 PM
Very good Vik

You and Pauline should get together and write a book called something like "The funny side of childminding"

I would definately buy it!!!

tulip0803
02-02-2008, 09:11 PM
That is soo true. Mya family don't recognise me now I have emerged from 3 months of policy writing!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

sarah707
02-02-2008, 09:38 PM
That is soo true. Mya family don't recognise me now I have emerged from 3 months of policy writing!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

You still have a family??? :eek:

My lot went to live with their dad! Apparently he talks to them! :laughing:

Sandie
02-02-2008, 10:57 PM
What ever happend to the so called paperless enviroment. Since the birth of computers we seem to be doing more and more paperwork.

I hate doing paperwork, before becoming a childminder I used to work in an office doing the dreaded paperwork. When I decided to become a CM I thought great no more paperwork, who was I kidding :D

~Sandie~

Mollymop
02-02-2008, 11:33 PM
You are so funny Vik! It made me laugh haha!

Blaze
04-02-2008, 10:28 AM
V. true...infact scarely so!
Tasha:)