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hectors house
24-02-2009, 10:16 AM
Have a 2 year old that brings meals from home - sometimes he will eat most, sometimes just a few mouthfuls - his mum still expects me to give him pudding - this is something I don't do for other children I supply meals for - if they don't eat cooked lunch they don't get pudding.

Am I wrong to with hold their pudding or use as a bargaining tool to get them to eat lunch - I would rather eat pud instead of mash potato myself!

Sometimes I think why do I bother to try to get them to eat cooked meal, just let them eat a bit and let them have yoghurt - parents are paying for it anyway.

Child's mum said at weekend he didn't eat any of roast but demolished huge bowl of apple pie and custard!!

amirose
24-02-2009, 10:24 AM
PUDDING!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Wish my mum would of let me have pudding for dinner, that's just mad!

Seriously though your not doing anything other than trying to get him to eat something healthy with some goodness in it so don't feel bad on yourself!

reddresses
24-02-2009, 10:25 AM
Have a 2 year old that brings meals from home - sometimes he will eat most, sometimes just a few mouthfuls - his mum still expects me to give him pudding - this is something I don't do for other children I supply meals for - if they don't eat cooked lunch they don't get pudding.

Am I wrong to with hold their pudding or use as a bargaining tool to get them to eat lunch - I would rather eat pud instead of mash potato myself!

Sometimes I think why do I bother to try to get them to eat cooked meal, just let them eat a bit and let them have yoghurt - parents are paying for it anyway.

Child's mum said at weekend he didn't eat any of roast but demolished huge bowl of apple pie and custard!!

I thik as long as they have tried to eat their dinner then there is no reason why their pudding should be withheld after all we shouldn't make a big fuss over food or punish over it as this will give them a complex for the future.

Roseolivia
24-02-2009, 10:54 AM
I always give pudding even if they don't eat all their tea (if they were my children i wouldn't). They don't get things like ice cream, just a yoghurt or fruit. It can be annoying but i just think they're not my children. One of my mindees is very fussy whereas his sister will eat anything so he just gets things like sandwiches or ravioli (i won't cook an extra big meal for one child) as i make cooked meals for tea and me and my partner have what the children have as i sit at the table with them. I can't be bothered making extra tea for me and partner

huggableshelly
24-02-2009, 10:57 AM
might be worth asking mum to provide fruit as an alternative if the child doesnt eat a decent ammount.

i always give a pudding, if the child doesnt eat a decent ammount they only get fruit, if they eat it all they get fruit and a yoghurt, special treats are given too but maily if we eat out.

mabel
24-02-2009, 11:29 AM
this gripes me !

I don't think pudding should be alowed if they have not eaten their dinner.

But sometimes if they have given the dinner a good go I will,

but yesterday a child just played with her sandwiches and I kept
telling her off, in the end I wash her face and hands and got her down
from the table

.............Megga tantrum !!!

I hope when she comes tomorrow she will eat her lunch properly

................we wait and see !

Hebs
24-02-2009, 11:42 AM
my rules are

if the eat all (or most ) of their meals they can have a pudding,

older mindee on thursday point blank refused to eat her meal and kicked off when i refused her pudding.

i explained my reasons to mum who fully backed me all the way much to the disgust of J,

hmmmm funny how she ate all of her tea yesterday and sheepishly asked for pudding ;)

i had explained my rules to both parents and children on their visit when they signed contracts, and explained that children must be encouraged to eat healthily,
also there are lots of things in life we have to do that we don't like, children have to learn to accept rules from an early age

:thumbsup:

Daftbat
24-02-2009, 05:02 PM
This is one of my real bug bears! I always state to parents that i am all for healthy eating and do everything in moderation so yes we do have chips and chocolate but not all the time. In the same conversation i always point out that i will not just let children have puddings if they are not eating their main meal. My Mantra is if they haven't got room for the first course then there can't be any room for pudding.

On the other hand if meal is eaten, pudding is eaten and child still hungry - thats fine i will keep providing food until they are satisfied.

The only exception is if we are trying new foods and the child truly doesn't really care for it.

Alibali
24-02-2009, 06:14 PM
If I know it is a food they like and have eaten before and they choose not to eat it I wouldn't offer pudding either. I only give fruit or yogurt as it is, but if they're not hungry enough for dinner, then they're not hungry enough for pudding!!

Chatterbox Childcare
24-02-2009, 07:05 PM
You are fighting a loosing battle with the parents but with the child it is a different matter.

I agree that they should eat their dinner first. What about either reducing the size of the dinner so they can eat it and then have pudding and once this routine is accomplished enlarge the meal.

I had this with a 4 year old who came to me recently and now we have our hot meal at lunchtime and sandwiches for tea. He can sit at the table as long as he wants whilst the others play at lunch time but not so easy when mum is waiting later in the day.

sarah707
24-02-2009, 07:40 PM
This is a really tricky one.

Child psychologists say that you must not withold food because children will feel they are being punished with food....

Also they say that if you reward a cleared plate with pudding you are giving out the wrong messages because you are saying that 'nice' food is a treat after the boring stuff.

So you must not, according to those who reckon they know bes, use food either to punish or to treat.

I try to find a middle ground... they eat what they can then get either fruit or a milky pudding. That way I am providing a balanced diet whether they choose to eat it or not.

Hth :D

Lady Haha
24-02-2009, 07:55 PM
I have three children who used pick at their dinners, say they had had enough and then quite happily wolf down pudding! I also have another one who would carry on eating anything that was put in front of her indefinately! I came up with the idea of giving the first three very very small portions and then teling them they had to eat all their tea if they wanted pudding. The tiny portions make this very achievable for them and they also feel proud of themselves after! I obviously discussed this with the parents first and was given go ahead! Slowly, I have been able to increase the size of the portions, but they are still not huge, but at least now I am not throwing food away and they have a sense of achievement. As for the other child, she gets a large tea. If after pudding she says she is stll hungry which she nearly always does, I offer fruit or yoghurt which she will then turn her nose up at! Not that hungry then:rolleyes:

berkschick
24-02-2009, 07:57 PM
I dont give any mindees tea (well, only a 1 year old so doesnt really count) but with my own 4, no dinner = no pudding.

At lunchtime, one of my mindees was a nightmare eater. I now give her 1/2 a sandwich and nothing else. Once this has gone, she can have everythng else on offer! I dont make a big deal of it but she does know the rules and we have come on really well.

Hebs
24-02-2009, 08:01 PM
when my nephew was 2/3 years old he lived on yoghurts and quavers as he "refused" to eat anything else

he started at a childminder who was very strict but fair and within weeks he was eating proper meals

half of the problem is parents giving in for an easy life :thumbsup: